The Final Voice to Freedom When Strangled by Relationships
…because sometimes ‘we’ need to set ‘ourselves’ free!
It was the first thought that came to her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.
She gently pulled the drawer and the document out. She stared outside, towards the river.
It had been five years now. He had become an eminent piece of her life- her reason to survive. But he was different, say ‘ambitious’. He had priorities, over her. He had a dream which was now giving her an abyss. ‘It isn’t wrong being ambitious’, she had explained herself repeatedly. After all, it was this extraordinary determination and dreams in his fiery eyes that had made her propose him.
But now things were different.
He had applied overseas and when she objected moving abroad; he told her to relax- that it was only an application!
Well, now that the offer letter was in his hand- He was ‘enthusiastic’ about it!
“I bet you will enjoy yourself thoroughly on the Australian beaches honey! Pack up, we will leave tomorrow” he was grinning.
“As if you will have time to accompany me”, she hated herself for having trusted him to change, for so long now. He definitely didn’t love her, she knew it well but then she thought “one day…probably”.
Almost every night for the past five years she had waited for ‘them’ to dine together. Apart from being late, it was his ‘achievement’ stories of the day, else stupid phone calls which kept him busy during dinners. Her sex life was almost negligible.
His Sundays could hardly be called an ‘off’, even if he stayed right in his room the entire day!
“Does my existence even matter to you” she had smirked at him the previous night.
“Hey! Don’t start it now honey. I have lots of things to take care of, before leaving this place.”
“Except me”, she grimaced and turned around.
“You know I am doing this all for you” He told, removing his eyes from the computer screen for the first time.
“Yeah! I know. I am not blind. I see it each and every minute. Your ignorance… superiority… obsession…I have tried my best to cope up with them all. We haven’t even had a date after our honeymoon and I won’t be surprised if you haven’t noticed that! I need ‘you’, not your fucking money or this riverside bungalow. I feel pathetic I haven’t been able to make this clear to you even after so many years… I thought love is strong enough to change hearts, but you proved me wrong. Devil, that you are.”
Period.
She ran back into her bedroom, walls of which had been tastefully decorated with seasoned photographs of their honeymoon and wedding, occupying every inch. She cried her heart out.
A sensitive woman that she was, she couldn’t even think of leaving her country, her family and friends to go and live with an ‘alien man’ in an alien land! She tried her best to make him see reason.
“You earn more than enough here, why do we need to move?” she had questioned.
“Do you even have any idea how much are these worth?” he pointed to the platinum and solitaire.
She instantly removed them from her fingers; “Now?”.
He looked at her disapprovingly.
“What about those designer dresses? The teak furnitures? The expensive world class tours in luxury jets? These imported Italian marble floors? The rare collection in your orchard? I need money hon’, lots of them to maintain our class. I am an upper class businessman, not like your dad. The sooner you acquaint yourself to my lifestyle, the better it is for you.
Moreover… if YOU don’t want to come, I don’t mind going ALONE.” Clearly indicating he wasn’t going to tolerate no nonsense in his business.
She was disgusted and taken aback.
“I thought I had already made myself very clear to you way before our wedding that my dreams are my life.” He was throwing his arms in air in disgust.
“My mistake” she lowered her gaze and left the room.
She had always thought human beings have some emotions inbuilt in their system by default, at times hidden which required a little bit of digging. She had grown up watching movies where the constant love and care had melted the superficial rigidity to expose the naked tenderness of a man. She had been absolutely sure she would make a perfect wife!
She phoned her lawyer friend and cried for two hours. It wasn’t the first time he advised her to file a divorce and get rid of him. She lacked the guts to do so. Or say, she didn’t believe in breaching relationships.
“I am sending you the legal papers, in case you arrive at a decision. Take care and feel free to call me.” He said finally before hanging up.
She remembered their fifth anniversary celebration a few days back. The lavish party he had thrown in their guests’ villa, the stunning outfit he bought for her, the swearing guest list, the splendid decorations and what not. She wasn’t feeling much a part of the crowd and preferred to be aloof when a gentleman approached her and asked her for a dance. She had politely refused but it was upon her husband’s insistence that she had to make some moves with him. Later he accused her of spoiling the party ambience. She should have been a good host for the elite guests!
That day and now, nothing had changed.
She had kept those legal papers safely in the drawer, not daring to open it in the last few years; but today she took them out! She was now blankly staring at that sheet, imagining how are these papers supposed to affect human bonds? She couldn’t understand. She had the pen in her hand and to her surprise she found her hand already putting a signature.
She felt a calm wave engulfing her as she closed her eyes.
She felt she had grown up. She felt mature. She felt proud.
She had finally taken a decision. She had finally shown some courage. She was now prepared to go on a solo voyage to accomplish her success!
She was a free bird.
