The Hanson Test: are you safe to work around women?

The quick quiz to tell you whether you need to rethink your interactions with women

Madelaine Hanson
Dec 5, 2017 · 4 min read

Hey guys! I’ve heard way too many broflakes telling me they have no idea how to interact with women since Weinsteingate. Can you hug? Can you smile? Will you be arrested for opening a door? Dear god, won’t someone stop the madness? It’s almost as if men are expected to think about acting with empathy and reflection in their actions.

You just said what about my tits

Ze Hanson Quiz

(This isn’t all As, Bs or Cs, so don’t cheat. Some are easier than others.)

A) Calmly explain that you feel she needs more experience, while pointing out her positive traits and your belief that she can move up the ladder in the future.

B) Comfort her by putting your hand on her knee, saying that she needs to work a bit longer for you first.

C) Jokingly say that if she comes out to dinner with you, you will consider it.

2. You accidentally brush against your coworker’s breasts in the lift. She has clearly noticed. Do you:

A) Pretend it didn’t happen, and change the subject.

B) Apologise, saying that you will be more careful around her personal space in the future.

C) Tell her that her blouse is really sexy, and wink as you leave the lift.

3. You have just done very well in a team meeting with a female colleague doing most of the work. Pleased, you want to show her that you are happy with her contributions. Do you:

A) Hug her, say well done, and give her a kiss on the cheek.

B) Shake her hand, and say you hope to work with her again.

C) Say you have been pleasantly surprised by her ability, and that you wouldn’t mind working with another woman again after this experience.

4. You notice that another colleague that you are friendly with is being a bit hands on with the women in your office. He is touching their shoulders and waists whenever he engages with them. Do you:

A) Brush it off, that’s just normal friendly behaviour

B) Quietly mention that you think that he might be making some of the women uncomfortable and should reconsider his body language

C) Tell your female coworkers that they should tell him to stop when he does it

5. You have said something very inappropriate to a female colleague in the workplace, and you are worried she might take further action. Do you:

A) Tell her that you didn’t mean it and that reporting it would ruin your life

B) Apologise as soon as you can and ask her how you can improve the situation

C) Brush it off and tell your colleagues that she has fabricated the incident

6. You have a massive crush on your secretary, but she very clearly only sees you in a workplace manner. Do you:

A) Flirt with her to persuade her to change her mind

B) Fire her or demote her, so that you can work with someone else who won’t distract you

C) Accept that she is not interested and continue in a normal working relationship.

7. You think your colleague Rimsha looks fantastic in a tight fitting dress today. Do you:

A) Tell her she looks really sexy when she isn’t in front of everyone

B) Say that you admire her figure in her outfit

C) Say that her dress looks lovely

8. You have made good friends with your female head of HR. She tells you in confidence that some of the women have complained about your jokes, saying they are too sexualising. Do you:

A) Inquire as to what specifically was said, and aim to change your behaviour

B) Tell her that if she takes disciplinary action, you won’t continue your friendship

C) Get defensive and demand she stands up for you against these accusations

9. A pretty young woman is very drunk at the office party, and you have been told to get her a taxi home. As you help her into the car, she makes a flirtatious pass at you and asks you to come back with her. Do you:

A) Go home with her, but don’t have sex with her until she sobers up a bit more

B) Go home with her, but don’t tell anyone that you have slept with her so she isn’t embarrassed when she sobers up

C) Decline as she is too drunk to consent to sexual relations.

10. You are hiring for a new position and a girl quietly offers oral sex in exchange for the job, saying she is desperate as she has no income and a child to support. Do you:

A) Decline, but boast to everyone that the girl offered you oral sex

B) Decline despite her ‘consent’ as there is no place for sexual favours on the employment ladder

C) Accept because she was willing to do it, but don’t actually view it as part of the final decision in employing someone

(Correct Answers: A, B, B, B, B, C,C,A,C, B)

Athena Talks

A hub of conversation to help young women mature, budding professionals become leaders and leaders become advocates for equality.

Madelaine Hanson

Written by

23 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. Email me at m.l.hanson@outlook.com

Athena Talks

A hub of conversation to help young women mature, budding professionals become leaders and leaders become advocates for equality.