Visibility and Trauma
Part of being able to be visible is getting really clear on the work you want to do or the ideas you want to be known for.
This truth is essential to allowing yourself to be seen. To be visible and authentic.
As a writer & brand strategist, I put together brands for other people. I teach them how to be visible. But I’m a woman who left domestic violence and was stalked online & offline. I have hidden myself in order to survive. For me, being visible has felt incredibly dangerous.
To be visible, you need to trust your instinct and define yourself on your own terms.
Being in a toxic relationship for years made it hard for me to trust my instinct. Hard to want to break new ground. Hard to define myself on my own terms.
The truth for me is that I was trained as a journalist. I love strategy. I build websites. I’ve been told that you can’t combine those things. Either you write or you design. You design or you code. You do great strategy or you do great work. But for me, I can’t write without designing the layout & the flow of a physical piece at the same time. I can’t do any of it without caring about how all the pieces fit together.
Asking to be seen is the bravest ask for me right now. I feel I’ve gained clarity in my work, and now I want to stand up for others. Fear is breathing down my neck, but I’ve been learning to do it anyways.
The brain is wired to identify threats, and for the many of us who have been through trauma, our brains find threats everywhere. The bullies on the playground, the bully in the bedroom, the crowds on Facebook, the new clients waiting on our appearance.
Every step forward comes with a few steps back.
Every opportunity is coupled with a sleepless week.
Regretting.
Fretting.
There are two forces in me. And sometimes, the light hits the one I am determined to be.
