Living, Not Existing: How to Embrace Fulfillment in Everyday Life
Take baby steps everyday.
I often feel like I am just existing, as if someone else is living my life. There was a time when nothing brought me joy, and every decision I made felt detached from who I was. Gradually, I began to fade away. The things that once made me happy slipped through my fingers like sand. I became distant from everyone, even myself, and life became a repetitive routine.
Have you ever felt that way?
Soon, my body began to show signs of stress. I started feeling ill — body pains, constant headaches, sleeplessness. I was feverish but no medical test could tell me what was wrong. Deep down, I knew. I was unhappy. I wasn’t living; I was merely existing.
It took a while, but one day, I sat down in my house, alone with my thoughts, and I realized I couldn’t continue like this. I had become a stranger in my own home. I was just a housemate to my husband, and my children knew me only through fleeting conversations. That moment hurt me deeply, and I knew I needed a change, quickly.
How Do You Go from Being a Stranger in Your Own Life to Actually Living?
Since I had forgotten the things that made me happy, I sat down with a jotter and wrote down these headings:
- What I don’t want in my life
- Things that make me unhappy
- Where I’d like to be in 5 years: Love life, Finances, Relationships, Career
- What I need to do in 6 months to start
Writing it all down gave me clarity. I realized that stress was my biggest enemy, so I had to identify what was stressing me:
- Fear of failure
- Imposter syndrome
- Financial debt
- Dying poor
From here, I knew what steps I needed to take. For instance, I enrolled in online courses to build my skills and confidence. I reassessed my finances and realized I had debt at high interest rates, so I refinanced at better terms and restructured my repayments. Handling my debt made me think more about saving. I started small but steady — setting aside a bit monthly and investing in shares.
These steps may sound simple, but they gave me a sense of control. I was making decisions again. I was living again.
The Things That Made Me Unhappy
- Not knowing what I want anymore
- Poor communication with my spouse
- Taking my relationships for granted
For this part, I knew I had to reconnect. I opened up to my husband about my feelings. I had been afraid of his reaction, but instead, I found love, understanding, and support. The same was true with my other relationships — I realized I had been too hard on myself, and those around me were more appreciative of me than I had thought.
The moment I shifted my focus from what was wrong to what was right, things began to change. I’d always heard that what you focus on expands, but it took me some time to see it myself. By focusing on the love and support I already had, I allowed more love and peace to flow into my life.
My Five-Year Goal:
I want to write more, and I want to help others who are going through what I experienced. Life isn’t about waiting for a “big bang” moment. It’s about taking small steps every day, having a plan, and building a support system.
What I Need to Do in Six Months:
I sought the help of AI to break down my plan into manageable steps. Then, I got two accountability partners to help me stay on track. This blog is part of that plan — one of those small, actionable steps toward my goal.
Each day, I try to celebrate the progress I’ve made, no matter how small. This sense of fulfilment keeps me going, fueling me for the next day and the next.
You Too Can Start Living, Not Just Existing
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start with baby steps. Get clear on what you don’t want, then take small actions to create the life you do want.
If you need someone to walk with you on this journey, reach out to me. You don’t have to do it alone.
#SelfImprovement, #PersonalGrowth, and #LifeLessons
