DELAYED GRATIFICATION
Train Your Child and or Ward To Have A Delayed Gratification Mindset

The Sage, my father, Late Dara Olisamara, lived over 100 years old. When he died in 1993, we, his children, and immediate members of the family didn't know his exact age. Therefore, we decided to pick 95 years as his supposed age while announcing his transition to glory since there was no documentation of his birthday.

Days before his burial, a man who was to take over the mantle of leadership from him in our community was driven into our compound by his son. His visit was to inquire about our preparations and readiness for the burial of my father. I was the least in my generation, so I was sent to call one of my elder brothers who were then financially responsible for organizing the burial. When my elder brother arrived and after the exchange of pleasantries. The man then opened up on his mission.

He said, "My son, I am here to commiserate with you over the death of my immediate elder brother in this community who also happened to be your father in Umuezeala Ehim Umunuko Community, Ukpor, and to see how you and your brothers are preparing for his burial. And as customs and traditions demand I will not be coming here at the burial date."

My elder brother then thanked him and took the time to explain to him the arrangements made so far and presented to him one of the burial souvenirs.

Then, the man collected the souvenir from my elder brother and thanked him.

However, he went on to drop a few remarks, he said," You have done well my son in your preparations, but. The but is in your area of consultation.

Granted, you don't know your father's age because there is no documentation of his birthdate, but I am still alive.

I am 110 years old now and my records are intact. You would have contacted me about his age issues. I believe I am in a better position to provide you with a fair and closer estimate of his true age because your father was in the same age bracket as my immediate late elder brother and sibling.

All these are by the way now, go ahead to finish up with the burial, son.

Remember this always, even though your father did not have formal education he was intelligent and a wise man."

The man's last statement about my father's intelligence and wisdom brought to focus his teachings and instructions to me about having a delayed gratification mindset which he had oftentimes delivered to me in the form of a folktale during his moonlight story sessions with me being a child of his old age.

One such folktale was about Eriecheta and Erichaebewe. Eriecheta means one who will eat, remain, and remember there is tomorrow to come. Erichaebewe means one who will eat, finish everything, and only cry tomorrow. The Sage, my father, would say names are important, especially to Igboman because your name identifies and defines you.

"Therefore, my son, when you become a man and begin to have children, don't just give your children names but think through the names you want to give them to ensure that they are results-oriented and fruitful names. Don't just give names based on the pains you have today but give your children names based on your hope for better, brighter, greater, and higher tomorrow. Son, remember that whatever you would want your children to be tomorrow starts with the actions you take today and one of such basic foundational actions is the names you give them."

Then, he would turn to me to say, ‘I had made the story of Eriecheta and Erichaebewe a constant feature in my moonlight stories to you because it was loaded in meaning and importance of the names we bear and the mindset we have about receiving our rewards for our efforts in life.’

Come to think of it, son, ‘I have been a notable farmer for years in our community and town as a whole. I will tell you for free that the mindset of a farmer is that of delayed gratification. That is the mindset that makes him preserve his chosen seeds for the planting season with the hope of a better harvest time in the future.

Also, I have been a palm wine tapper for leisure and hobby which has spanned for years now too. It is from this hobby of mine I have learned of this interesting story of Eriecheta and Erichaebewe.’

The story of Eriecheta and Erichaebewe was a story of two able young men who were wine tappers. Their respective fathers were friends to my father, the Sage.

So, whenever their fathers came to visit my father, the father of Eriecheta would always come with a beautiful story of his son's exploits in his chosen field of wine tapping.

He would say," My son, Eriecheta, is not only the best wine tapper around this community, but he has become a champion in the making of local dry gin from the palm wine he taps. His wine-brewing chambers are getting bigger and better now and then."

On the part of Erichaebewe's father, his story about Erichaebewe was full of lamentations. He would curse the day Erichaebewe was born and the hard times around him that orchestrated his name, Erichaebewe. He would tell my father his son could tap a few palm trees just for himself. Furthermore, he would put the wine in the keg and hide it in his room just for himself.

My father then said it was on these two opposite background stories of Eriecheta and Erichaebewe that he invited them to dinner on a certain Saturday for counseling about life.

My father was a part-time palm wine tapper himself, so he preserved a quality keg of palm wine for the meeting.

At the set date, Eriecheta and Erichaebewe were early as my father pleaded with them to come early enough to help him pound the yam they would eat while my mother was ordered to cook bitter leaf mixed with egusi soup for dinner.

After dinner, my dad then opened the discussions. He said I told them," Now we have eaten, it is time to drink. However, before we proceed I would like you, Eriecheta, and Erichaebewe to tell me how you would guarantee that you have good palm wine to drink throughout your lifetime if you had a keg of palm wine just like the one we have before us now.

Remember, you are young now, the time is coming when you will not be able to climb the palm tree and talk less about tapping its wine."

The Sage said that for ten minutes they were not talking. They were looking at one another to see who would break the silence. Eriecheta was a little bit at peace with the question but Erichaebewe looked unsettled by the question.

Thereafter, the Sage said, "I had to break the silence by asking them individually to give me their respective views based on their respective understanding of the question."

Eriecheta said, "Daddy, thank you for the dinner and the question as well. Your question reminds me why I started brewing my wine after tapping the palm trees for the wine because the time may come when I would not be able to climb the palm trees myself again. Then, I would rely solely on others to supply me with wine to feed my brewing chambers."

Erichaebewe said," Daddy, thank you for the dinner, I enjoyed it so well just like others did. However, I have not thought about this life question and riddle you posed to us today. It is now that I have realized how wasteful I have been. I hope to mend my ways starting from now onwards.

At this junction, my father, the Sage said, I thanked them for their respective views which were good. Then, he left them with the following life messages.

1- In life, every day is new and unstained until we humans use our thoughts, decisions, choices, actions, reactions, and inactions to stain them.

2- Life comes in pairs and is divinely programmed to yield specific results as directed by the thoughts through the actions of humans within the earth per time.

3- As Sage, don't judge any person by what other people say about him/her until you are chanced to extract from the person his/her side of the story for balance.

4- A child belongs to his/her parents only while he/she is in his/her mother's womb but no sooner he/she is born he/she will become a communal child.

5- In life, there is always a turning point that comes with the moment of realization which could turn a wayward person into a great person if the wayward person can match his/her moment of realization with effective actions to actuate and articulate his/her new position in life.

6- As humans, we are to be mindful and thoughtful of our desires, decisions, choices, and actions because they are mainly the key determinants of our directions, destinations, and destinies. We should be able to delay our gratification today for a better, brighter, greater, and higher tomorrow.

7- Above all, we should not forget in a hurry that we are stewards of God in our earthen vessels, the body, and on the earth for the good of humanity and to the glory of God.

Finally, he said, I told them that, “they can decide to preserve the keg of wine for life by sharing it with as many as they can reach with a cup of the wine to drink. On the other hand, you can decide to waste the keg of wine by taking the keg of wine beyond the closed door and drinking it all alone. He that has ears let him hear what the Spirit of God has said through me."

Cheerfully they drank together and waved bye-bye to one another and Eriecheta and Erichaebewe left for their respective homes that night.

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18072023

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