Trigger Warnings and Affirmative Consent are About the Same Thing
Mirah Curzer


You bring clarity to these ideas.

This reminds me that men often think women are more interested in them than they actually are. I will cite a link later, if I don’t get distracted.

Once a man who I liked and respected a lot told me he thought I was in love with him. I felt repelled by his presumption and our friendship never got back on the same footing.

Here’s the thing, women aren’t as interested in you as you have deluded yourself to believe that they are.

The terribly, terribly painful consequence is to realize that you are a lot lower on the desirability scale than you think you are.

It’s like that amazing cartoon where an ugly man sees a good-looking jock in the mirror and all the woman sees when she looks at her reflection is how big her butt is.

This means that you have to win a woman’s affections. That requires work and commitment. It requires vulnerability and courage.

Or you can just be a great writer. That’ll work too.

And yes, if a woman isn’t tearing off your clothes and hers, if she isn’t pushing her body against yours and rubbing herself up against you, if she stiffens when you try to kiss her, then she may not be interested in having sex with you.

If you are married to a woman who isn’t interested in having sex with you, you might ask yourself if you have lied or cheated on her. Deception kills closeness and intimacy.

Here’s the most beautiful essay on lies and deception that I have ever read:

I have touched far too lightly on a lot of ideas here — I would like to develop them much more…

Thanks for inspiring these thoughts.