The Most Popular Misunderstanding
By Jaival Desai
Listed as a sin in the Holy Bible is probably the most misunderstood state of mind; suicide. It is seen as a challenge; to the life-giver that is god himself, and pretty coincidental enough my name means “life-giver too”. Mental exhaustion and the idea of killing oneself are something I never could wish on anyone. The pain and sheer levels of pressure one must endure to choose to rather end their existence than living through it is something beyond my scope of understanding, and hopefully, it shall always be.
It’s a taboo subject to be honest, especially in Hindu society. Yet everyone has experienced it first hand, knows someone who has attempted, or somebody who has died by suicide. I myself had had them at the tender age of 14 but thankfully worked through it. Religious aspects aside, you don’t have to believe that it’s wrong to be suicidal or to think it is irrational, rather be a misinterpretation of something you have not quite experienced.
The problem isn’t the person but the lack of awareness around it, a heavy shroud over the whole topic creating misinformation and misunderstandings amongst the patients and eventually driving them off of the cliff. There’s a need to talk about this, to create a safe environment for people going through this stuff and help them if not confront, but at least acknowledge their feelings.
SO how to start with the prevention? The first step is understanding it and then eradicating it. There is no “ONE SINGLE” reason behind suicide, but the inducing factors are more or less very similar in every case. From falling into a debt trap, financial distress, underachievement, or depression, there’s always a factor of “letting down” of someone’s expectations or aspirations. Be it of the society, parents, peers; there’s a mark that someone didn’t quite make it to, that induced thoughts of hopelessness and darkness in one. And there’s the place we have to start. There are 2 ways around that process, the ‘Right’ one and the ‘Wrong’.
Wrong: Making them feel guilty about
having such thoughts, using sentences
like “ What would happen to your
Parents, friends, or peers” or “Oh I know
what it feels like”. In some cases that
could work, but in most that would
probably aggravate the feelings of self
hatred and induce even darker thoughts
so just refrain. They need the support
right now, not another guilt trip; Sherlock
had a point here but not the best one.
Right: SUPPORT THEM!! Just your presence can speak a billion words to someone going through something like this! Make them aware of stuff they love, to be worth living for, to experience, and that this it’s a small setback they don’t have to work through alone. Talk to them and understand what they’re going through, you may not relate to them but help them acknowledge their thoughts.
I probably am not “The Best” authority over things regarding mental health, as I personally relate to the Old Guard in such aspects. But I also don’t bash people going through this stuff and try to help them to the best of my abilities. I know that most suicidal people are usually the unhappiest but most suicidal activities are committed by people who aren’t exactly psychotic. Surprisingly enough they are people who are some of the most rational and connected with reality. A very good per cent of those who commit suicide are, however, clinically depressed and need some attention ASAP, are quite smart in their ways, and just need a hand. All they need is a much romantic view of life added with the rationality to actually help them pull away from this. Help them find themselves again, in your words, in some intimate object or a favourite sport and be a support structure while they try to build themselves back up again.
After having been on both sides of the argument it is safe for me to conclude that suicide is “not good”, and that no one deserves to go through it. If you find anyone you know who had attempted it, or someone that sounds as they need help, try and talk. I have come across countless conversations amongst my own friends; online and offline both, where just the tone of their voices have been low and their esteem quite visibly shattered. I know it can be prevented cause I have prevented it and helped many others not reach such thoughts in their own minds, and try to not avoid that talk but to confront it. “I’ve longed for an ear to listen but found none, but I make sure to provide one whenever someone needs one.”
I’d like to conclude with the thoughts; suicide prevention begins with a single conversation, with one caring person asking questions and listening compassionately to another. I believe it’s never too late for someone to know they are not alone and that there are ways out of this suffering, and it would be probably the greatest achievement of your life; to at least try and save someone else’s.
