How To Build A Strong Relationship With Fellows

If you want to build a strong relationship with a Fellow you must be an epic mentor.

If you want to build a strong relationship with a Fellow you must be an epic mentor, like the character of the Odyssey, from which the name derives. Mentor, indeed. The man Odysseus entrusts his son Telemachus before leaving.

A wise guide who knows what needs to be done, but doesn’t decide it beforehand, a guide who asks questions and shows viable paths, new horizons.

Sincere and aware, a mentor does not transfer notions, but assists Fellows in a path of growth built on experiences, which become competences.

The development of the relationship between Wizard and Fellow is a path that enriches both.

It is the Wizards who put some extra weight in the balance, at least initially, because the experience abounds in them. But over the long term Wizards will notice that the situation reverses.

Listen

Did you read about the optimal percentage?

It says: “speak for 20% and listen for 80% of the mentoring time”.

We are not particularly interested in the exact percentage, but this seems to be a good practice.

Pay attention to the Fellows, look for the most interesting qualities in them, those that stand out, that make them unique, that bring them closer to their vocation.

Give yourself

Your knowledge is an invaluable patrimony. Making it available to Fellows, so that they can draw on it, is a precious gift.

Be generous in sharing, do it with all Fellows.

Based on what you have listened to, provide the most suitable indications according to the circumstances.

Your selflessness will not be an end in itself.

Discuss

What you give will come back to you.

The inspiration given, absorbed and re-imagined by Fellows, will take the shape of suggestions and ideas. One of the tricks is not to be a “teacher”, nor to be prescriptive.

Strengthened by your developed peripheral vision, analyze each situation together with the Fellow.

Any new insight given can turn into a received one.

Inspire

This is perhaps the most complex, but most rewarding task.

You need to find a way to use your wisdom to support Fellows developing their own wisdom. They will certainly not be able to do so in the immediate future, but your print will remain in their awareness.

Help Fellows establish what is important to them right now and for their immediate future. Choose the right words and examples, the ones that are right for them.

Interact

The idea of ​​mentoring that we imagine is far from certain common relationships, consequences of our accelerated time. The smart mentoring meetings, restricted in ten minutes, seem to us to be a hysteria.

Setting an agenda is a good idea, so as to be both prepared on the topics to talk about, but make sure not to just talk about work and business. You are meeting a young person living a crucial moment in his life. Let him understand that you are not only interested in the future professional, but in the person he will be. Many relationships of sincere esteem and true friendship were born just like that.

As Mentor with Telemachus, make sure that the young prince already has the features of a king, when his father comes back after a long journey.

Text by Sebastiano Afeltra — Translation by Chiara Castelli