1 Year
The first year with the girl who’s better than my dreams
A year ago today, I was nervous, fidgety, anxious. I couldn’t quite get comfortable at any point that day. Why? Because I had a date that night. Little did I know that it would be the start of a lifelong devotion to one woman.
Over the past year, Karis and I have gone from a brand new relationship between two people at least partly skeptical of relationships because of past wounds, to that annoying, inseparable boyfriend and girlfriend who post about each other on social media, to being engaged and eagerly preparing for the marathon of marriage together. I have had no more amazing, fruitful, challenging, stretching, fun experience in my life. We have learned a lot, mostly me learning from her. I am continually thankful for her.
One story is particularly demonstrative of how much Karis means to me, and how well she loves me. The other night, I bought groceries. Upon returning home, I discovered the milk I bought was leaking. A lot. So we went back to Wal-Mart at midnight to get a new gallon, where I was told I had to stand in a line of 9 people. I was angry, and made a fool of myself showing it over such a minuscule inconvenience. My normally sweet, gentle girl looked at me with downright annoyance.
When we got in the car, she let me have it. I argued back that I was completely justified for being upset. But she wouldn’t quit. She made me look at and deal with the reality that I had been acting like a child. And believe it or not, that is exactly what I needed. To be sick and not know it means you don’t go to the doctor, so you don’t get better. Karis helped me to see my sickness in that moment, and because of that I got to hear the voice of the Father telling me “Your sin is bad. And you are still loved.” God’s grace was given to me in that moment. How fitting that Karis means grace in Greek. I am beyond thankful for a bride-to-be and a God who both tell me the truth about myself, even when it hurts.
Karis is better than the girl of my dreams. And not because she exceeds all my wildest expectations. Just the opposite. She is real, and we both fail each other often. That’s what’s so amazing about her. She loves me, despite my frequent failure. She accepts me on the days I can’t even accept myself. And she doesn’t leave me there! She points me to the gospel, and our great hope found at the foot of Jesus’ cross.
Thank you, sweetheart, for being a picture and reflection of the way that Jesus loves me. I could never deserve it. I’m forever devoted to you, GracieLu. Adventure is out there.
