It Takes a Village!
I consider myself to be very fortunate to have grown up in India during the time when we didn’t have so much digital connectivity. We had no television until I was 15. As a result, my childhood was filled with bike rides, imagination, story-telling, staging plays and reading. These experiences have paved the way to so much creativity in my life even today and seldom do I find myself feeling bored. Reading was a favorite pastime for many of us growing up in that era. The rich spiritual heritage of India is replete with stories of many kinds. One such body of literature is called the Jataka Tales — a voluminous collection of animal stories, presumably about the Buddha’s previous incarnations, often teaching children simple yet profound values and morals. It is sad that values and morals have become almost extinct words today. Many such stories left an indelible impression on my young mind and the following is one such story.
Once upon a time a Crow was sitting perched on a tall banyan tree in the woods. It was the crack of dawn and the Crow perceived a hunter laying a trap for birds. He laid out a strong net on the soft mossy jungle floor and he sprinkled a generous quantity of bird feed on it to tempt the birds. “Oh! some poor birds are going to get caught today”, bemoaned the Crow. A few minutes later a huge flock of pigeons flew by looking for food. When they saw a feast of grains sprawled on the ground, they all squealed in delight. “It’s our lucky day”, said one of the pigeons. The Crow silently cried, “Please do not get tempted”. The King of the Pigeons was watching this intently. He did not like the fact that so much free food was available so easily. It was too good to be true thought the Pigeon King. He warned his flock to approach cautiously. He wondered if it was a trap. “Listen to your King”, silently begged the Crow. But alas! The birds would not heed the King’s cautionary advice. They begged and pleaded with him and goaded him to stop being so risk averse. In a weak moment, the King gave in and the pigeons all rushed to the scattered grains only to be caught in the net.
The Crow was devastated watching this. Now the pigeons realized their huge folly in not heeding their King’s advice. They all started lamenting and crying at the cruel hand of fate and cursed their idiocy. The King neither shamed nor blamed his tribe. Unlike me, he did not enjoy saying “I told you so”. ☹ Instead, he calmly directed his team’s energy to problem solving. He consoled them by saying, “What is done is done. Now there is no point in lamenting about the why and the how. Let us focus on what next. I have a plan and I think if we all work together, we can still get out of this alive.” The Crow’s ears perked. He was all excited to hear the King’s plan, as was his subjects.
The King hatched a plan with his tribe. He said that if they waited patiently, the hunter would come back around sunset and if they could all pretend to be dead, he would unhook the net at which point all the pigeons would combine their entire might and strength and fly together carrying the net. The rest of the pigeons although a bit skeptical agreed. The net was very heavy and the pigeons were not that strong although they were highly motivated. The Crow said a prayer, now deeply vested in the success of the pigeons.
Dusk approached and the birds heard the hunter approaching the net from a distance. They all set the plan in action and lay motionless. When the hunter saw the huge flock of pigeons, he was ecstatic at his luck. He started to salivate at the rich profit he would make from their sale and perhaps also have a feast of a pigeon or two for himself. Dreaming along, he slowly unhooked the net nailed to the floor and as he was just about roll it up, the Pigeon King cooed a loud rally cry and all of them took off net and all. Shocked, the hunter ran behind them for a short while, after which he gave up cursing his luck.
Meanwhile, the Crow, shocked and delighted at this miracle, followed the pigeons to see what happens next. How would they free themselves now? After following the pigeons for a few miles, he saw them descending on another part of the jungle. Here the Pigeon King called out to someone with a different friendly cry. The Pigeons asked what the plan was now. The Crow was equally intrigued. The King explained to his subjects that his friend the Mouse King lived in this part of the woods and that he was calling out for his help. Soon the birds could hear the scurrying of feet and a large Mouse crawled out of a hole in the ground. The two friends greeted each other and the Pigeon King explained the events of the day beseeching his friend’s help with freeing them from the net. Soon a flurry of activity ensued where hundreds of mice were busy chewing on the net and within minutes all the pigeons were freed. Thanking their mice friends profusely, the two tribes shared a hearty meal and departed to their respective abodes.
This tale is of course rich with so many lessons about leadership and problem solving, collaborative culture versus shame and blame toxic culture and so on. What I would like to focus on is the following: It takes a village to do life well. This is something that I say to all my clients over and over again. Studies show that isolation is a global mental health pandemic in the world right now. No matter your age, your culture, socio-economic status or in which part of the world you might reside in, lack of community and the resulting isolation is a huge problem. The Pandemic has only made this worse even though people have tried their best to be innovative with technology.
I am not talking about how many friends you may have on Facebook or followers on your Twitter account or on Instagram. I am talking about communities where you can find true belonging. Brene Brown talks about the difference between fitting in versus belonging. Whether it is in your workplace, your church group, your book club or your hiking group, fitting in feels like a square peg squeezing into a round hole. True belonging however, according to Brene, “doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are”. The power of such belonging gives you the resilience to shame and isolation. It gives you the motivation to face the challenges that life may throw at you. It gives you the smile on your face as you browse through your photo album reminiscing about the happy memories with friends and family.
I have been so fortunate to have several communities around me in which I feel this sense of true belonging. I am a community builder and it is my mission to build such communities where people can find true belonging. The Pigeon King had created such a tribe for his subjects where no matter how they showed up, and what mistakes they made, they were accepted and allowed to grow from their mistakes. His subjects felt this sense of true belonging. The King also had built allies across many tribes and didn’t have to shoulder all of his responsibilities on his own. This helped him problem solve in creative ways and build confidence that no matter what happens, he would be able to find a creative solution to his problems. Coming to this country as an immigrant, cut off from my tribe, it is the village that I built here that has been my lifeline in building such richness and resilience to my life. It does take a village. And a village that fosters true belonging. Go build yours today and if you have one already, cherish it.
