5 Reasons Why a Break From Work Was the Best Decision I Ever Made
It made me realise what I was missing out on in life.
How often do you feel you have got stuck in the rut of doing the same things every day? You want to break free and maybe explore another path or just take a sabbatical and do nothing. But you can’t, and there can be many reasons for this- some controllable and some uncontrollable.
In my 23+ years of corporate life, there have been numerous occasions I wanted to change course and maybe take a break, but honestly, I did not dare to do so for two main reasons:
- I was too passionate and attached to my work and could not imagine my life without it.
- I think I was scared of not having anything to do after having worked all my life because I felt that's all I knew.
But things always don't go as planned, and due to a certain sequence of events in my life, I decided to take the much-needed break, which turned out to be a life-changing decision for me.
The Big Migration
My break from corporate life came after 23 years and at the most unexpected stage of my life. My husband got a job offer that required us to shift base to Singapore. We always wanted to give our teen girls exposure to international education, and we thought this would be the right opportunity as they were still in middle school and would be able to adapt.
For me, the decision was pretty straightforward. I would quit my job since there was no provision for a transfer in my company and look for another job in Singapore. But I wanted to do that after a short break to settle my girls down in a new land, and hence I was in no hurry to join back.
We moved to Singapore in October 2019 and thus started my journey of adapting to the most significant change in my life.
The Three Stages of Change
Honestly, I was initially looking forward to this change as I was utterly exhausted from multitasking the work and home responsibilities. I wanted a well-deserved sabbatical before plunging back into the corporate world.
There is no denying that the first few months were heaven with me indulging in doing things that I did not have time for. By the way, I was not that bad while working too, but somehow the work pressures still show in our demeanour.
But slowly, as the initial euphoria of settling down in a new place waned off, I felt that I had lost my identity & was missing the usual work buzz and a sense of purpose. I decided to go back to corporate life just at the same time when the pandemic chose to raise its head. But most organisations put breaks on hiring by then, and the job market had slowed down.
What I went through was something that I now can classify into three stages:
- Denial
In this first stage, we refuse to accept that change is here to stay. As quoted by Mary Sherley,
“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change”.
We hope this change is temporary, and things will eventually go back to the “pre-change” state.
It was very painful for me to accept that the job market had suffered due to the pandemic, and like many others, I will need to be patient and live through these times.
2. Acceptance
We reluctantly accept that change is here to stay in this stage, but we tend to default to the “pre-change” state either in our thoughts or actions. We eventually adapt to the change, but we adapt to cope rather than adapt to win.
My acceptance of the situation did not stop me from frequently slipping into self-pity mode, questioning my decision to quit at the peak of my career.
3. Embracing Change
The last stage is the most favourable but the toughest to achieve. This stage is when wholeheartedly, we embrace change and look forward to thriving in this. After all, if nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies. But very few of us can achieve this stage as we are continually fighting the inevitable, i.e. the change.
I am here now, and when I look back, I feel so grateful that this break came my way because I could explore an entirely new facet of my life during the last 1.5 years. In hindsight, I think this was the best decision of my life, and here are the five reasons why I will forever be grateful for this time.
#1. I Discovered My New Passions
Having being pushed to the wall with no options, I started looking at what else I could do to keep myself occupied so that I did not get caught in the vicious cycle of self-pity and helplessness.
This involved some thinking — What am I good at, what are my strengths, and what do people appreciate me for? I had to be objective and brutally honest with myself to define what path I would like to explore.
I realised that I was good at listening to people, mentoring people & sharing my life experiences & learnings. Some of these learnings were picked up & implemented by these very same people & proved helpful.
Therefore maybe I could do that with the rest of the world. And that’s where my blogging journey started. It’s been 15 months that I have been blogging & it’s been a very fulfilling and enriching journey.
I always thought creativity was inborn and could not be learned. But this break introduced me to my creative side. Apart from writing, I also started painting, and these two have become my newfound passions.
#2. I Worked on My Biggest Regrets of Corporate Life.
When we are in the corporate world, we get stuck in what I call the work-and-spend cycle. This is a phenomenon in which people remain trapped in a pattern of long hours of work and increasing consumption spending that gives us a false feeling of well-being while actually, it's eroding our mental peace.
It’s very easy to get sucked in this whirlpool of meetings, deadlines, and egos where your promotions and pay packet seem to define your “Happy state”.
As you rise through the corporate hierarchy, you realise that you may have ignored so many other things in life which are essential to balance your financial needs with emotional and spiritual needs.
For me, these two years have been years of course correction and filling out the so-called “blank spaces” in my life with all the things that I could not do during my first innings at work.
#3. I Overcame My Fear of Failure
Let's be honest, what is our biggest fear of embracing change? For me, its uncertainty coupled with a fear of failure… what if I cannot adapt to change successfully?
These two years have taken me back to my school days where I started learning the alphabets ABC again, but this time of website designing and social media. With no background in blogging or creating and managing a website, I started from scratch, going through youtube tutorials and numerous online courses.
I made mistakes on the way, and some of them led to a lot of rework, but I kept trying and building on these mistakes. I set my deadlines and milestones, and each time I achieved those, there was a sense of accomplishment like none other. And failures were a motivation to get it right the next time.
When you are hungry to learn, failures don't seem like obstacles, you look at them as stepping stones of your success.
#4. I Realised Our Life Is a Creation of Our Mind
It is important to remember that circumstances are not good or bad but always neutral. It is how you approach the situation that will determine your outcome. If I see a situation as depressing, it will be. Still, if I choose to seek opportunities in that situation, I will find plenty.
Relating this to my situation 1.5 years back, I was in a negative state of mind because I was going through something called “Cognitive Dissonance”. I was trying to rationalise my situation while in my heart I knew that I believed otherwise and hence not happy.
I had to get my thoughts aligned with the current situation, look at it in its face, and work out an alternate path.
Once I realised this, I focussed all my energies on creating something new rather than fighting for the old.
#5. I Am Better Equipped for My Second Innings
Fast forward to August 2022, I am back in the corporate world, but now I have decided to play this innings a little differently.
I want to give my best as earlier but at the same time incorporate all my learnings from the last 1.5 years so that I can achieve a harmony between my intellectual, material, emotional and spiritual goals.
I realise that some goals may take precedence over others in many instances, but as long as I don't ignore them and can come back to the desired harmony in my lifestyle, I should be fine.
In Summary
Whatever be the nature of your break — voluntary or involuntary, short or long, work or social media, take this as an opportunity to reset your life priorities.
During the last 1.5 years of my journey as a writer, I have realised that there are many different ways to achieve your life goals if only you are willing to tread a different path and give it time.
