What I Learned From This Gentle Habit
Why people respond to the right tone, even in marketing
There’s a person I know of, in my circle. He’s a trusted colleague and long-time friend of my husband. When he speaks, his voice remains at an even keel. It’s always gentle, soft, and never rises beyond a certain decibel level.
I’m serious. His voice doesn’t seem to be aware that other volume levels actually exist. Contrast this with me who was a silent person most of her life and then evolved into a shrieking banshee when I became a mom.
Two extremes and sometimes I honestly wonder if the maternity gene creates a mutation effect. Not my proudest moments, but I regret nothing, as the post below will attest.
Coming back to this individual I am talking about, he’s an acquaintance I’ve only ever heard speak over the phone. Mostly, he’s talking to a group of people on a conference call and there are a few things I’ve observed whenever he speaks.
I have never heard anyone talk over him, interrupt him when he’s speaking or elbow their way into the conversation. It’s almost as if people are giving respect to his thoughts and waiting patiently for him to finish.
In turn he’s also patient and gives the other person the time of day. It’s almost a symbiotic exchange.
People Respond Softly To Him
This may be the biggest lesson I learned after observing him and one that I can expand to business, relationships, and parenting, of course.
When you speak softly, people are naturally inclined not to raise their voices when they speak with you. Why would they need to? They don’t have to be shout to be heard.
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word — politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
-Fran Lebowitz
How this can change the way you do business
Put yourself in the position of a digital marketer or business owner now and imagine you’re speaking to your clients.
Now, think that you’re talking to them via an email or a blog post. Picture yourself trying to convince them that they need something- a course, a workshop, a coaching session. What do you see?
Instinctively, people put their guard up when it comes to persuasion. They rarely, if ever, want to be convinced to do something.
That’s one reason persuasive tactics in marketing rarely work. This is what I refer to as shouting through your content. You’re trying to stand out, be audible, be heard above the noise and the din. You’re trying so hard that it achieves the opposite purpose. People are driven away.
Instead, let’s take a slightly different approach. When you write your next blog post, social media update, or newsletter, imagine you are speaking to a friend. When the friend shares a challenge they are facing, you bring all of your senses into play and you listen. With depth and kindness, you reach out and offer support in the form of service.
In other words, you are not trying to convince them to do anything; you’re sharing what has worked for you.
When you start creating content and marketing with this principle of service guiding you, you’ll see very quickly that the gentle approach cuts through the strongest rock of resistance.
People open up to you, listen to your words, and are able to absorb what you have to share.
The more gentle we are, in the way we speak, behave and create, the more easily people will gravitate towards you and the work that you do.
And in the words of my North Star and guiding light:
You cannot always oblige, but you can always speak obligingly. Say what you have to say without harshness. Speak softly so that only the person for whom your words are intended may hear you. Such soft and sweet speech should be developed.
-Sri Sathya Sai Baba
If you enjoyed this, I talk more about how to find joy in content creation & organic growth in my free Friday newsletter for content creators.
Click here to join my community of conscious content creators
