Your Key to Living in the Present
Introducing the Flag Post Theory
We are the Sandwich generation of today who is exposed to the frugal value systems of the previous generation while being instrumental in feeding the consumerism wave. For us to ‘Live in the present’ is more of a social tagline rather than our lifeline.
Our generation or the DIMUPs (Double Income Modern Urban Parents) feel the moral responsibility of planning for the future while living with the guilt of overindulgence in the present.
Not surprisingly, the vicious cycle of work pressure, social responsibilities & living up to an image in our day-to-day life takes away the true sense of happiness. We get sucked into this rut of Appearing Happy rather than Being Happy.
So is there something called being happy? There is no single right answer to this question.
But what we all have is our survival kit which helps us find our MOJO for Happiness. My husband and I call ours — The Flag Post Theory — Simple Ways to Live in the Present.
Like any other working couple, we have had our shares of corporate stress which follows us home. These flag posts are a great breather in an otherwise demanding schedule. These can be the next holiday, a movie date, or a dinner at a friend’s place.
Similarly, our flag posts at work need not always be that coveted award or the appraisal rating, which will come once a year. It can be the weekly team lunch, a quick coffee date with an office colleague, or simply wearing that new dress to work.
The Flag Post Theory is all about living life in the present and seeking happiness in small events of your life. Let me explain further.
We earmark events in our daily routine as flag posts and focus our energies on that event as if it is the biggest red carpet event in our lives at that moment
For example, when our daughters were small, their friends' birthday party was an event to plan for and look forward to. So right from what they were going to wear to what gift they will carry was an event hence brought in the excitement in a rather mundane life.
Now that they have grown (well in their teenage years), they asking us to accompany them for their many shopping expeditions is a big event :-). Jokes apart, breaking our life into these small events makes every moment worth living for.
When we derive happiness in the normal routine and not wait for the windfall, we realize that it is quite simple and achievable. The benefits of living in the present can only be realised once we start practising it in our daily lives.
And more than us, our current generation of Gen-Z needs to realize the value of this theory. For them, instant and regular gratification is vital.
And that can be only derived by seeking happiness from these everyday events. They have to learn how to start living in the present & derive happiness out of things that otherwise may seem routine.
So how do we do this? Here’s our simple 5-step approach.
Step 1: Setting Short-Term Flag Posts
We start with setting flag posts that are for the next day or next week. These can be a great motivator to look forward to when you know your days or the week is heavy.
For example, an after-office coffee date with your friend will help to take you through a difficult day, or a weekend movie flag post can be a great motivator to look forward to when the week is packed with meetings.
In corporate life, targets, meetings, presentations can be intertwined with team lunches, a time-out with families, and one-on-ones.
Step 2: Seeking Happiness in Enjoying Small Things in Life
Happiness is not directly proportional to the size and scale of the event. The key to happiness is to give your 100% to whatever you are doing. Therefore our Flag posts need not be always larger than life to make us happy.
They can be as simple as keeping a game date with your kids or reading that book which you have been putting off for the lack of time. This can also be the ice-breaker chat you always wanted to have with a difficult colleague in corporate life.
So you see, Living in the now need not be a complex process. Our everyday life gives us enough opportunity to start practising this theory.
Step 3: Identify New Flag Posts
This is by far the most difficult to practice. However, it is probably the one which gives us the most satisfaction as we are learning something.
Making Flag posts of your hobbies, adopted or re-discovered, is a great stress-buster. Some of the Flag posts can also be learning new skills at work, working on a new application or software.
Investing our energy into something new that will contribute to our growth mentally, physically or spiritually is very important. The sky is the limit here.
Step 4: Share Common Flag Posts With Your Friends, Family, & Colleagues
How many times have we complained that we don’t get enough time with our family or friends? This has been our favourite alibi. The easiest way to solve this is to calendarize and make flag posts of celebrations like birthdays, anniversaries thus bringing people together and spreading good cheer.
Similarly, in the Corporate world, common flag posts will be winning a bid together or maybe going out together as a team. Any timeouts together to unwind and enjoy outside the office can be very motivating flag posts.
Step 5: Continue To Set Flag Posts As a Habit
Setting flag posts is not a one-time exercise. We must inculcate this as a habit in our daily routine to get the desired impact.
As we keep achieving our current flag posts, start setting new ones. Doing so, there is always something to look forward to and keeps the excitement going.
The Flag Post Theory is all the more relevant today as the world still reels under the pandemic. Many countries are facing a second wave, and cities are going into lockdown again.
So how have I changed my flag posts to help me cope with this surge again?
- Our next holiday flag post is replaced by the new dish I will try or my next painting.
- An evening walk is a breath of fresh air and something to look forward to. We had taken this for granted till now.
- Flag post for acquiring new skills or rekindling old ones like reading and writing. I have started a course on alternate healing and meditation that is really soothing in these stressful times.
- Family and friends flag posts continue to fly high .. only the medium has changed to online.
- After office get-togethers have moved to online time-outs.
- I am keeping a positive outlook by setting new flag posts once the world opens up again. These include the hope of meeting my family back in India.
Main Takeaway
Setting flag posts motivates us to go through the rough patches with an eye on reaching that flag post. And once achieved, we are ready to set another one.
Please note, this is not about goals, and I am not propagating setting short-term goals rather than long-term goals. This is about the “Moments in Life”.
Let’s understand it this way — it is important to be here, fully connected with the current moments, paying attention to the so-called ordinary details of life rather than dreaming of having perfect moments someday in life which no one can predict. Here I would like to quote Mandy Hale :
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.” ~Mandy Hale
So, have you decided on your next flag post?
