5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce: With Dawn Burnett and Ross Garcia
Give yourself permission to put yourself first. Health and wellness are key — when our bodies are strong, our minds are strong. We think clearly and have more energy to get through the challenges.
As part of my series about the “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce Or Breakup” I had the pleasure of interviewing Dawn Burnett.
Dawn Burnett is founder of A New Dawn Natural Solutions, a Transformational Divorce Coach and Wellness Expert for women through every life change and the host of the radio show, Wake Up and Listen. She provides wellness strategies to those who are frustrated with their current health situations and are ready to embrace alternative healing solutions, healing their bodies — and their lives — from the inside out. She has an impressive roster of television and speaking appearances including ABC, FOX, TBN, and WKGB and is a regular contributor to the Thrive Global and previously to Huffington Post. Dawn is the author of True Confessions of the Heart, Connect How To Know If He’s Really Your Man, Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce and is co-author of Jack Canfield’s The Road to Success, Vol. 2. She is a songwriter, actress, speaker, radio host, and inventor.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I am a divorce thriver myself. I have been happily single for 10 years after I fled from a 15 ½ year toxic marriage. I am thankful that I have an honors degree in Alternative Medicine and I understand mind/body therapy. After healing my own life/health which was a train wreck, and traveling around people would approach me and ask what my secret was as they were newly divorced, or going through a divorce and they were stuck in victimhood, surviving not thriving. I wrote a book Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce which includes 10 contributing author stories on the success and how to thrive after divorce. I am very passionate on helping women and men live their best life so that divorce doesn’t define them. (The book just got endorsed by Jack Canfield and it releases 1/1/19)
Can you explain to our readers why you are an authority about “divorce”?
There is no better authority on divorce then someone who has dusted themself off from the rubble and transformed from victim to victor. So experience would be the first credential but I’m also a Summa Cum Laude graduate of Alternative Medicine so I understand the health impact that divorce has on a survivor and their family. There is a reason the airlines say, “Put your oxygen mask on first,” you need to take care of your own well-being before you can give to someone else.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
Yes, it was during my travels last summer to Beverly Hills when I met a woman at the pool who had just experienced a divorce. Now most people would have ran in the other direction knowing they were on vacation but I took her under my wing, listened to her, and bonded with her and her son, we still keep in contact to this day through social media. Just after that I headed to Boca Raton, FL, where I visited my publisher and University. After a fun yet long day my son and I headed to the movies, as soon as I sat down a woman with a martini started offloading about her divorce she was going through. I knew at that moment that I needed to write a book, a centralized location, a foolproof plan on how to heal your heart, pinpoint your true dreams and desires, and find a meaningful and lasting authentic love for self. That’s how Connect How To Love And Accept Yourself After Divorce was created.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
It’s not so much in my career as it was in my experience and that was trying to jump into dating too soon. As I continued to heal and attract a reflection of where I was at on the inside I realized that most people in society make the same mistake. That’s probably why I have chosen to be single still after 10 years. I truly believe when it’s the right timing, the right person for me will appear. In the meantime I stay super busy with my son and my career, I’m happy to the core of my being and not a lot of people can say that.
If you had a close friend come to you for advice after a divorce, what are 5 things you would advise in order to survive and thrive after the divorce? Can you please give a story or example for each?
My top 5 thrive tips are:
1. Take inventory of your life coming from a place of observation instead of judgment. Reflect back on what happened as a child or growing up that caused you to attract your ex into your life.
2. Pause and forgive yourself realizing that you did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Also forgive your ex, it doesn’t erase the memories but harboring anger just harms you not them.
3. Get out a piece of paper and write down what you are grateful for at this moment, it will help take your mind off the chaos because what you focus on persists.
4. Plug into a support group, even if it’s just one person who will lift you up and hold you accountable instead of assisting you in re-victimizing through the continuous chatter of your past story.
5. Give yourself permission to put yourself first. Health and wellness are key when our bodies are strong our minds are strong. We think clearly and have more energy to get through the challenges. Choose whole foods, anything that grows instead of dead foods, which are processed foods that make you sluggish.
What are the most common mistakes people make after they go through a divorce? What can be done to avoid that?
The 2 most common mistakes that people make after divorce are:
1. They jump into a relationship or start dating too quickly trying to fill a void, but happiness is an inside job so no relationship will fill the void. Finding true long lasting love for self is the only way to fill the void.
2. They stay in a victim mindset. Divorce happened to them, it’s not what defines them. Everyone who has been through a divorce needs to take their own temperature daily asking, “Is what I’m about to do feeding my history or my destiny?” It is a simple way to trigger your brain to make sure you don’t keep repeating the same patterns because 95% of our choices daily are made by the subconscious mind this is based on our past experiences and old belief system.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I would recommend Worthy, Mandy Walker’s — Conversations About Divorce, and This Is Fifty with Sheri and Nancy, podcasts. Judy, PR Director for Worthy, and I talk often about how people hold onto their wedding ring after a divorce. Well there is energy in everything and what they don’t realize is that the ring triggers all the memories of the past so they hold onto the past instead of moving forward in the direction of the fulfilled life they truly desire.
Mandy has guests on her podcast that really help pinpoint how to move forward after divorce and
Sheri and Nancy’s This Is Fifty podcast has star guests that pertain to everyday life and as hosts they are so uplifting and funny, lets face it we all need a laugh and some good wholesome girl power.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that helped you in this work? Can you share how that was relevant in your real life?
That quote is from Jack Canfield, “Happiness is an inside job” that quote says it all. A great reminder to stop looking outside of yourself and connect within so you can experience all the amazing magic and greatness that life has to offer. That’s exactly what I have done.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am, that is the SHERO project for Thrive Global. A yea- long feature of SHERO stories, women that have transformed from victims of abuse to victors, they have a big platform that is positively impacting the world. The project just kicked off today 11/30/18 and 1440 Multiversity just sponsored a 4 day/ 3 night R&R stay at their property in the Redwoods. I was there in August with Sheri and Nancy for This Is Fifty Weekend and everything was absolutely spectacular. So since it takes a lot of courage to change hearts, I wanted to have a voting system for Thrive readers, which has been put in place for the annual SHERO award, the most admired SHERO. The contest is fun for readers and rewarding for SHEROS. The Me Too Movement is great but I wanted to display women not as victims but rather as victors because there are many amazing women out there doing incredible things. In fact I’m a SHERO myself so the project is near and dear to my heart. The abuse statistics today are shocking and people are searching for concrete ways on how to transform their life. I look at this as more of a movement then a temporary project and I’m honored to be organizing it all.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
There is no greater movement then the SHERO project for me to be involved in.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)
Absolutely that would be Oprah Winfrey. I have followed her on social media and through her TV programs since I was young. Oprah is a SHERO, an icon of how to take your pain and make it your platform. It would be an honor to share some off camera time with her, just one on one chatting about the lessons of life.