5 Ways To Shut Up The Really Loud Critic In Your Head
Here is how you can stop being so hard on yourself…
I don’t know about you, but when I make a mistake, I keep repeating it over and over again in my head. Sometimes I feel like the pain of self doubt is stronger than the pain of the mistake. Am I crazy?
I think there are many others like me. I reached out to author Rachel Hollis, who shared with me 5 ways to shut up the really loud critic in my head.
I hope you find these helpful.
None of your business
1. Someone else’s opinion is none of your business. I spent years drowning in other people’s expectations and worrying constantly about what everyone else thought of me. Then, one day, a therapist gave me the gift of this quote. She said, “Rachel, what someone else thinks of you is none of your business,” and it was one of the most freeing things I’ve ever realized.
If it won’t matter in six months, it doesn’t really matter right now
2. If it won’t matter in six months, it doesn’t really matter right now. I would have saved so much energy and anxiety if I had just used this test for basically every kind of upset or annoyance in my life. If it won’t matter to you in six months, then it’s not worth being upset over now.
Plan for fun
3. Plan for fun as well as you plan for work. I struggled a lot with being a workaholic when I was earlier in my career. I spent years obsessing over revenue and spreadsheets and growth and scaling and it was incredibly effective. I’ve built a multi-million dollar business through years of hard work. It was also exhausting and depleting both physically and emotionally. It wasn’t until recently that I understood that I needed to be as intentional about having fun as I was about business. Now I plan getaways and vacations and date nights and massages with as much importance as I do work which means I have the energy and joy I need to do work at this level because I’m not running on empty.
Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee
4. Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee — Losing someone you love is so painful, but it also brings the gift of perspective. Tomorrow isn’t a guarantee. There is no guarantee that you’ll wake up tomorrow. You have no guarantee that you’ll get to see someone you love again. That means that today, this moment, it’s all you’ve got. You better love hard, dream big and live every day like it matters… because it does.
Allowing your light to shine, doesn’t cast a shadow on others
5. Allowing your light to shine, doesn’t cast a shadow on others… it lights their flame. I used to make myself smaller: I spoke quieter, dressed quieter, downplayed my success, didn’t admit to my big dreams because I worried that other people would think I was obnoxious or full of myself. I was so caught up in what other people would think of me that I was never truly myself. By finally embracing myself (my big, loud, awkward, audacious self) I discovered that it actually gives other people permission to be themselves. We need more people in this world who unapologetically let their light shine so the rest of us can be inspired by the glow.