Abbigail and Jesse Willingham of Brighter Outlook Vision: 5 Things We Wish We Had Known As A Couple Doing Business Together

An Interview With Nancy Landrum

Home chores are not the same as work chores. At home, we share in the workload. We both clean and do dishes and take care of the dogs. But at work, we have very different roles and we have to respect those differences.

Embarking on a business venture is challenging, but doing so with your significant other brings a unique set of dynamics. While many couples find great success and fulfillment in this arrangement, they will inevitably encounter unforeseen difficulties that can test both their professional and personal relationships. From communication hurdles to balancing work-life harmony, the journey of couples in business together is filled with both triumphs and trials. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Abbigail and Jesse Willingham.

Dr. Jesse Willingham is a developmental optometrist (sometimes called a binocular vision specialist, neuro-optometrist or behavioral optometrist). He completed his doctoral training at the University of Missouri — St. Louis College of Optometry. At graduation. Dr. Willingham then completed his training in the State University of New York College of Optometry’s prestigious Irwin B. Suchoff Residency in Vision Therapy and Rehabilitation in New York City, where he was awarded the honor of the Dr. Martin Birmbaum Memorial Award for Behavioral Optometry. He is the founder of Brighter Outlook Vision.

Abbigail Willingham earned her Bachelor of Arts at the University of Evansville, where she met Jesse. Together they have lived and worked in Missouri, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Oregon, New York, and now South Carolina. Abbigail is very happy to put down roots and call the beautiful Park Circle neighborhood of North Charleston, SC home. She has worked in a variety of roles with museums and nonprofits, each of which has helped add to her skills so that she can best assist Brighter Outlook Vision.

Abbigail and Jesse love hiking, traveling, riding bikes around their neighborhood, beekeeping, and trying new food! They are joined in their life journey by two miniature schnauzers- Posey and Perry.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to go into business as a couple?

Definitely! We met while studying abroad in England during our sophomore year of college. We took the same Shakespeare class and started out as friends. We eventually started dating and quickly realized that we had each found our person! We were married the summer before Jesse began optometry school and stuck together for three years in St. Louis, one year doing rotations in Oklahoma, Kentucky, and Oregon, and one year while Jesse completed his residency at SUNY. From camper life in the Chickasaw Nation in Oklahoma to a tiny New York City apartment during the pandemic, we stuck together and supported each other.

We decided to settle in Charleston, SC because it was closer to our family in Georgia, Florida, and Indiana. Life in the Lowcountry is just different- it is a magical place with beautiful surroundings, great food, lovely people, and so much sweet tea! I (Jesse) quickly realized that if I wanted to practice optometry as I thought was best to help my patients and to the full extent of my training, I would need to open my own practice. I am a developmental optometrist (sometimes called a binocular vision specialist, neuro-optometrist or behavioral optometrist), and I wanted to begin a specialty vision therapy and rehabilitation practice that helps people with vision problems that need solutions beyond the usual glasses.

I (Abbigail) was looking forward to stability after years of school and moving, but understood that beginning a practice would be the next best step. After years of hearing about the patients Jesse has helped, I wanted to do everything in my power to share about the role of vision in our lives and how Jesse could help them. This seemed like something our community needed. Thus began Brighter Outlook Vision.

A specialty vision clinic like ours needs an optometrist, but it also needs an office manager and administrator. I knew that Jesse wouldn’t be able to find anyone as passionate about helping him as I was, and I could work for less, which would help the business. So we started working together in hopes that it would save the business from hiring someone else. It took me a while to learn the ropes, but Jesse was a patient teacher and eventually I loved my job and wasn’t just doing it for the good of the business.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to both of you since being in business together?

A: I think the most interesting thing is that we can celebrate our shared wins. It has been fascinating to me to see how Jesse can change people’s lives through the right prism prescription or a program of vision therapy. For example, we recently had a young patient struggling in school even with ADHD medication. He had a vision problem that made it difficult for his eyes to focus. After vision therapy, he was able to go off his ADHD medication. He gained weight and grew tall because he was interested in food again. His self-confidence shot up because he felt smart at school, was better at sports, and he wasn’t scrawny. It was beautiful to behold!

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

A: We have made so many mistakes and funny gaffs! Luckily, we have someone to share those stories with and empathize with. In the beginning, I was afraid of letting people know that we were married, I didn’t want them to not trust me to give them an honest assessment just because I knew the doctor. This led to some funny encounters with patients asking what our relationship was! I now own it and let patients know we are together so that they understand our energy towards each other. One time we were even interviewing someone for a position at the business who was afraid to ask, because she definitely picked up on some “work-wife/work-husband” energy!

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Too true! We have had a whole tribe of people supporting us through years of school and life. We are grateful for everyone who has loved us and invested in us! One of our biggest influences is Todd Uhl, Abbigail’s father. He led a family business for years and is one of the most caring and generous men in the world. We would not have been able to make it to where we are today without him. Anyone who works with him is amazed by his ability to work hard and care about the people around him. He might be President of the Indiana State Fair Board, but he would still get a broom and clean up a mess. As millennial bosses, it is so important to us that everyone in our office feels cared for and heard, and Todd Uhl is an inspiration.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Most of our readers — in fact, most people — probably don’t have an idea of what it is like as a couple to be in business together. In just a few words can you explain how being in business with your romantic partner is different from other business partnerships?

A: I think the biggest difference is that we live together, so there is less of a work-life balance occurring naturally. We have to work harder to create those boundaries between being business partners and life partners.

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a couple running a business? Can you explain what you mean?

A: So many people thought we were crazy for working together! It was just assumed that it would ruin our relationship. We still love and enjoy working with each other though! Seeing Jesse as a competent boss and compassionate provider has deepened my admiration for him.

J: For me, I’ve never been happier. The worst part of my day has always been saying goodbye to Abbigail in the morning, but now with working together I do that less and less.

What are the most common mistakes you have seen couples make when they start out in business together? What can be done to avoid those errors?

A: I think it is necessary to be open from the beginning about how you are feeling and where you are mentally. It has helped us set those work-life boundaries, and also helped us be there in those times of need. I struggled in the beginning with feelings of inadequacy in a new job, but Jesse was so supportive when I told him what I was feeling. We made plans for how to best help me both with my job and at home. It was so helpful for me to talk it out!

What are your “Five Things You Wish You Had Known As A Couple Doing Business Together”?

1 . Have an out. From the beginning we decided our marriage was more important than anything. If at any point one of us said that we didn’t want to work with each other, that would be that, no questions asked. We joked about a secret password, like pineapple, but luckily we haven’t had to use it yet!

2 . Work can be all consuming. Every dinner time meal revolves around patients, but now sometimes it can be a tax write off! Abbigail has to resist asking Jesse work-related questions at night when her mind is buzzing with the day’s tasks. She would never do that with another partner, so don’t roll over in bed and ask. Our bedroom is a work-free zone.

3 . You will see your spouse differently. Seeing Jesse as a competent boss and compassionate doctor has deepened Abbigail’s admiration for him. She absolutely lovea to see his genius at work. Jesse always listened to Abbigail talk about other people at work making her job harder, and now he can see she is a force to be reckoned with! She can get the job of three people done with ease — he honestly thinks she could be running a Fortune 500 company, but her heart has always been closer to directly helping others who need it most.

4 . Don’t make your password embarrassing. As a joke, Abbigail initially made a password “ilovejesse4eva.” That password did need to get shared and no she did not think about that before sharing. What is a cute inside joke for us was hysterical and cringey to our employees.

5 . Home chores are not the same as work chores. At home, we share in the workload. We both clean and do dishes and take care of the dogs. But at work, we have very different roles and we have to respect those differences.

In your opinion, what are a few ways that couples can ensure they are successful in business with each other? Can you share a story or an example?

A: Couples can be successful if there is mutual respect and a healthy appreciation for zones. I know that Jesse is an expert in his field, I won’t question his patient care. He knows that my background is in marketing, so he will respect my ideas and opinions and accept my decisions. We each have a sphere of knowledge that helps the other. Acknowledging that and respecting each other is key.

You are a couple of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Don’t overlook your vision (pun intended)! We are dependent on our eyes for living and learning, yet when people have trouble after a brain injury or children struggle in school, they don’t think to have an in-depth vision evaluation, or sometimes they do but not with the right specialist. Most eye doctors check your visual acuity to see if you can see 20/20 or need glasses, but that is just one of over a dozen visual skills we use daily. Our eyes also need to be able to focus, look around, and work together as a team, and our brain has to understand what we see.

If your child is struggling to read, learn, or pay attention, they should be checked by a developmental optometrist to ensure their full visual system is working properly. Luckily, most of these vision issues are correctable with the right lenses or vision therapy. We are happy to help people in the Charleston area at Brighter Outlook Vision, and you can find a developmental optometrist near you at https://locate.covd.org/.

How can our readers further follow you online?

We love having people follow our journey and learn more about vision and how it impacts our life! Our website is www.BrighterOutlookVision.com and we are on Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube as @BrighterOutlookVision.

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.