Ashley Hardcastle Of Zesa Wellness On How Each Of Us Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness

An Interview With Jake Frankel

Silencing your inner critic and practicing self-compassion. Realizing you are deserving of compassion allows you to more easily expect the gifts and opportunities that others give to you. The more self-compassionate we become the more we can think positively and receive gifts from others.

As we all know, times are tough right now. In addition to the acute medical crisis caused by the Pandemic, in our post-COVID world, we are also experiencing what some have called a “mental health pandemic”.

What can each of us do to get out of this “Pandemic Induced Mental and Emotional Funk”?

One tool that each of us has access to is the simple power of daily gratitude. As a part of our series about the “How Each Of Us Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness” I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashley Hardcastle.

Ashley is a seasoned philosophy professor and business professional. She has taught courses at the University of North Texas, Strayer University, and Dallas College. She has developed relationships with start-ups, large companies, universities, investors, and government funding agencies as a business development professional. Merging her experience with a passion to share self-care practices that can lead to optimum well-being inspired the creation of Zesa.

As an avid educator and advocate of well-being and happiness, Ashley created Zesa Wellness in 2016 to share her inspiration for living the good life. Throughout her personal and professional life, she has found that in order to live a truly fulfilling and fruitful life, one must aspiring to create a balanced lifestyle.

Ashley has a Masters in Philosophy and holds certifications in Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness, the Science of Happiness, and Mastering Business Development. She is a Certified Workplace Mindfulness Facilitator with Mindful Leader and is published in Teaching Philosophy and Sustainable Communities Review.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about you and about what brought you to your specific career path?

I have always been a person who believes there is a silver lining even if I am unable to recognize it at the moment. I have also believed as long as I remember that happiness cannot be given, it can only be created. We are responsible for our own happiness. I was able to realize at a young age that it was the immense gratitude I carried with me even in times of difficulty, that afforded me the fortune of the happiness and joy I experienced throughout my life. I wanted so badly for others to realize the fruits of gratitude and how being truly present can positively affect our well-being and those around us. The passion to live a life full of joy and share it with others has brought me to my specific career path.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

I lost my stepmother in 2016 in the midst of starting to build my career. She was a gastrointestinal surgeon and before HIPAA (many years ago) she occasionally took me on rounds with her in the office, hospital, and operating room. She was motivated by her desire to help others — she found her gift to share with the world. She was vibrant, beautiful, graceful, brilliant, and quite frankly heroic. However, she had an inability to care for herself properly. She was extremely intelligent in the traditional sense, however, her emotional intelligence suffered and her inability to regulate her emotions was a huge factor in the poor decisions she made. In her late 30s she turned to wine as a coping mechanism to deal with the stress in her life and due to years of alcoholism she was unable to survive a typical battle of the seasonal flu because of the severity of the damage to her esophagus. She lost her life at the very young age of 49. A few years later I had the privilege of presenting to a group of physicians for a continued education course on the topic of emotional intelligence and well-being. My passion, my pain from losing my stepmother, and my profession all came full circle in an ironic yet beautiful way.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why do you think that resonates with you? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

“Slow and steady wins the race” resonates with me in many ways. In a world that values speed, convenience, and the glorification of quick and easy success, having patience and enjoying the journey to the destination provides the most fruitful rewards. The growth of Zesa (my company) has been an intentionally slow and steady growth process. The culture of our organization is based on the embodiment of mindfulness and authenticity. This is something that can’t be rushed or duplicated without well-thought-out intention and purposeful action. Patience after all is a virtue, and rushing and forcing movement can easily diminish quality.. So, slow and steady definitely wins the race.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story about why that resonated with you?

Gulliver’s Travels made a huge impact on me — as an adult. The concept of comparison This nook and this specific concept resonated with me because we must know hot to know cold. Only through the experience of pain can we recognize true pleasure and we can only truly appreciate happiness and joy when we have experienced sadness and despair. Some of the strongest and happiest people have been through some of the most difficult experiences. It is in understanding our weaknesses we can become stronger. It is in knowing sadness we can experience happiness. It is a feeling of entitlement that allows us to fully experience gratitude.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Yes! I am currently working on a leadership development program that specifically addresses implicit bias. I think that this will directly help people by allowing them to reflect on the subconscious ideas and even decisions they make based on ideologies that they do not realize or intend to have. Uncovering these implicit biases can lead to more inclusive and supportive environments.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

There are so many people that have helped me along the way in my journey of success. In the particular case of business success, my business partner and dear friend, Dr. Maitri Vaidya has been crucial to my success. Her ability to see, support, and help manifest my vision of sharing the tools and techniques of mindfulness to not only improve individual lives, but also the culture of an organization, has been one of the greatest gifts. Her support as a partner has been instrumental to not only my career success, but my personal growth and success as well. I would not be here without her.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now that we are on the topic of gratitude, let’s move to the main focus of our interview. As you know, the collective mental health of our country is facing extreme pressure. We would like to explore together how every one of us can use gratitude to improve our mental wellness. Let’s start with a basic definition of terms. How do you define the concept of Gratitude? Can you explain what you mean?

Gratitude is a state of recognizing the good things in your life that come from outside of yourself. It embodies a sense of wonder and appreciation for what we have. It is a mindset that can be cultivated through practice. Those who are grateful recognize we could not be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others. Those with a grateful mindset have the ability to accept all of life — the good and bad — seeing both as a potential gift.

Why do you think so many people do not feel gratitude? How would you articulate why a simple emotion can be so elusive?

People tend to think about what they want or don’t have rather than relishing in what they do have. Gratitude, although seeming simple, is actually a quite complex emotion with some nuances. It requires us to acknowledge that a gift or opportunity was given to us that we otherwise would not have. This in turn requires a type of humility as we shift emphasis to something given to us rather than earned. As we humbly recognize that we could not be who we are or where we are in life without the contributions of others, the emotion of gratitude can also motivate us to reciprocate the gift, act, opportunity, etc. This feeling of obligation or responsibility to give back to the giver or pay it forward makes gratitude a very complex experience.

This might be intuitive to you but I think it will be constructive to help spell it out. Can you share with us a few ways that increased gratitude can benefit and enhance our life?

The practice of gratitude can enhance our lives in multiple ways. Studies confirm when we express gratitude our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, also known as the “feel-good” neuro-transmitters. Feeling and expressing gratitude helps us regulate stress hormones and activates the bliss center of the brain. Grateful people not only feel good, they do good. They are happier, healthier, and maintain stronger social connections. Gratitude is one of the greatest sources of happiness.

Let’s talk about mental wellness in particular. Can you share with us a few examples of how gratitude can help improve mental wellness?

The practice of gratitude improves our mental well-being immensely. Gratitude is a natural way to relieve stress and anxiety. It makes us less anxious and depressed. It is physically impossible to feel anxious or depressed while also feeling gratitude because of those “feel-good” neurotransmitters your brain releases. Being grateful increases happiness, optimism, and overall life satisfaction. When we practice gratitude and develop a grateful mindset we change the way we see and interact with the world around us.

Ok wonderful. Now here is the main question of our discussion. From your experience or research, what are “Five Ways That Each Of Us Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness”. Can you please share a story or example for each?

We are able to leverage The Power of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness” by:

1. Silencing your inner critic and practicing self-compassion. Realizing you are deserving of compassion allows you to more easily expect the gifts and opportunities that others give to you. The more self-compassionate we become the more we can think positively and receive gifts from others.
2. Write a Gratitude Letter — The gratitude letter is known to be one of the most powerful exercises to develop a more grateful mindset. This exercise requires you to think about someone that you’re grateful for and then write them a letter thanking them for positively affecting you. You can even go a step further and visit them (in person or virtually) and read your letter to them. This is quite possibly one of the most powerful ways to not only express but feel the effects of gratitude.
3. The Daily 3 — Each day write down 3 things that you’re grateful for and revisit these lists when you are feeling ungrateful or entitled. It is a great way to create small changes on a daily basis, eventually leading to a new healthy habit.
4. The Gratitude Jar — This is similar to the Daily 3, however, this is a great way to incorporate others to participate in your household or work environment, for example. Grab a jar and some scratch paper and each day write down something you are grateful for and when you need for a gratitude boost. Open the jar and read what you have written over time.
5. Lastly, ‘Reframing Perspective’ and learning to ‘Grieve in Gratitude’ can be one of the greatest coping skills when we face difficulty and hardship. When we can reframe a loss to a potential gain and turn an obstacle into an opportunity, we have the power to turn despair into hope and brokenness into healing. Having a grateful mindset can help heal troubling memories not by reliving them, but by gaining a new perspective. A grateful mindset allows us to cope with the difficulties in life by not negating pain and suffering but by looking for the positive outcomes in negative situations allowing us to eventually find the ‘silver lining’.

Is there a particular practice that can be used during a time when one is feeling really down, really vulnerable, or really sensitive?

Yes. Mindfulness! The practice of bringing our attention to the present moment and sitting with what we are experiencing without judgment. Learning to be with our uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, vulnerabilities, and sensitivities is what allows us to truly understand ourselves and transform our lives. It is a tool we can develop and use anytime we need it.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that you would recommend to our readers to help them to live with gratitude?

• Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center has information and resources to support your well-being and happiness journey. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/
• “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D.
• Deepak Chopra has an immense library of podcasts that promote well-being. https://www.deepakchopra.com/podcast/#

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

If I could start a movement it would be for every child in the world to learn mindfulness. When one begins this practice and learns to embody it the ripple effects are undeniable. The younger we are when we begin to truly understand ourselves, the longer we have to live in joy and happiness and share it with others.

What is the best way our readers can further follow your work online?

My work can be found on Zesa Wellness’ social media platforms @zesawellness and our website www.zesawellness.com.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!