Author Giovanna Silvestre On Why Confusion Can Lead To Great Things

…And the thing is, once you figure out one thing, you’re going to be confused about something else. You get into college, but then you realize, I don’t really like it here — what should I do? You get married, and either things aren’t going well, or they are, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to have kids. Then you have kids, and you’re like, How do I want to raise them? It’s a never-ending journey of discovery. So instead of being afraid of confusion, why not see it as an opportunity? Confusion leads to discovery and self-growth. Without it, you’d never explore, never question, never evolve — because you’d think you didn’t need to…

I had the pleasure of talking with Giovanna Silvestre. Giovanna is an American entrepreneur, author, and lifestyle influencer known for her wellness brand Confused Girl in the City and her work in self-discovery and personal transformation. Her upcoming book, Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos, is set for release in May 2025 and offers a mix of memoir and self-help guidance aimed at women navigating uncertainty in their lives. Through her work in fashion, travel, and wellness, Silvestre has built a platform that encourages self-exploration and inner peace.

Born and raised in San Luis Obispo, California, Silvestre grew up working in her parents’ Italian restaurant, an experience that instilled in her an entrepreneurial spirit from a young age. She later attended the University of Southern California, where she earned a degree in international relations with a minor in global business. After graduation, she entered the entertainment industry, working as a production assistant and later as a director’s assistant on major Hollywood projects, including Thor (2011). By her mid-twenties, she had achieved early career success, but the high-pressure environment left her grappling with anxiety and dissatisfaction.

Seeking clarity, Silvestre left the entertainment industry and briefly considered taking over her family’s restaurant before realizing it was not the right path for her. The transition was a difficult period of self-doubt and depression, which she later referred to as her “Dark Night of My LA Soul.” In response, she turned inward, focusing on yoga, meditation, and mindfulness practices to rebuild her sense of self. These experiences would later form the foundation of her brand and writing.

In 2014, Silvestre launched Confused Girl in the City as a video blog documenting her journey of self-discovery. The project evolved into an activewear line inspired by healing crystals, with each design representing a different stone and its purported energetic properties. Despite having no prior experience in fashion, she immersed herself in the industry, navigating Los Angeles’ garment district to find manufacturers and using social media to market her products. Her brand gained international attention, with features in Forbes, NBC, and LA Yoga.

Silvestre’s success in the wellness space extended to social media, where she built a large following, collaborating with brands such as T-Mobile, Coca-Cola, and Target. Her online presence, particularly on Instagram, became an extension of her brand, blending fashion, travel, and self-help content. She also pursued writing, using her experiences as the basis for her first book.

The idea for Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos came to her unexpectedly while driving. The book, which took several years to complete, was largely written while she was living in Bali and Berlin. During this period, she immersed herself in mindfulness practices, often beginning her days with yoga before writing in cafés. After facing multiple rejections from publishers, her work eventually caught the attention of Blackstone Publishing, leading to a bidding war between two publishers. The book, which emphasizes embracing confusion as a tool for growth, was ultimately published just before her father’s passing — a moment she describes as deeply meaningful, as it allowed him to witness her success.

Silvestre’s philosophy centers on the belief that confusion is not a weakness but a natural and necessary part of personal evolution. She argues that societal expectations often push individuals toward rigid life paths, leading them to ignore their authentic desires. Through her book, she encourages readers to challenge those narratives and view uncertainty as an opportunity for self-discovery rather than a source of fear.

With Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos, Silvestre positions herself as both a storyteller and a guide for those feeling lost in their personal or professional lives. Her journey — from Hollywood to self-imposed exile and back into the public eye — reflects her message that true fulfillment comes not from external validation, but from the courage to question, explore, and redefine one’s own path. Her book can be purchased here.

Yitzi: Giovanna, it’s an honor to meet you. Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn about your personal origin story. Can you share the story of your childhood and how you grew up?

Giovanna: Yes! I actually grew up in California. I’m in Los Angeles now, but I was raised in San Luis Obispo, which is about three hours north of here. My father is from Italy, and my mother is Irish-American. They met in California, got married, and opened an Italian restaurant. So, I actually grew up working in my parents’ restaurant.

Yitzi: That’s beautiful. So, please tell us the next part of your story. What led you to the success you’re enjoying now?

Giovanna: I grew up in San Luis Obispo, and I think that’s definitely where I got my entrepreneurial spirit — being around my parents, working in the family business. I went to USC, the University of Southern California, and graduated with a degree in international relations and a minor in global business.

After that, I decided to enter the entertainment industry because, well, that’s kind of the thing to do in LA. I started out as a production assistant on an ABC reality TV show, and within three days, a female producer hired me as her post-production coordinator. I had no idea what that role even was! I told her, “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’ll do my best and I’ll learn.” Looking back, I realize she hired me because she saw that I was hardworking, loyal, and a bit of a people pleaser — which, in the entertainment industry, can be just as valuable as experience.

That job was definitely an adventure. From there, I went on to work for a well-known talent manager who represented a bunch of celebrities. Eventually, I started working for one of her clients on a big film for a major studio, where I became the director’s assistant. By 25, I had moved up the ranks pretty quickly.

But despite all that success, I found myself dealing with crazy anxiety every day. It was a struggle just to get out of bed and go to work. There were definitely fun moments, and I’m so grateful for my experience in that industry — it taught me how to have tough skin and navigate different personalities. But over time, it just became too much.

So, I left the industry. At that point, I thought maybe I’d take over my parents’ restaurant. As a child of an immigrant, there’s always this sense of responsibility to continue their legacy, especially when they’re looking to retire. So I gave it a try and worked in the restaurant for two years — but my dad and I were constantly butting heads. It was literally like My Big Fat Greek Wedding!

It was like every time I wanted to implement something new at the restaurant — like a computer system, which really isn’t that crazy — it was a struggle. We didn’t even have a computer system; everything was written down by hand. But a lot of theft was happening, so I finally convinced my parents to get one, which was a big win. But beyond that, any other changes I wanted to make turned into a battle. My dad just wasn’t ready to let go yet, and it was ruining our relationship.

At that point, I thought, This isn’t worth it. I had taken on the restaurant to help my parents, not to damage our relationship. So I decided to leave. I came back to LA, and honestly, I was a completely broken person. I felt like I had wasted my twenties doing things I didn’t really want to do. I didn’t know who I was. I had just broken up with my boyfriend. I was broke. Everything I had clung to for a sense of identity was gone.

I fell into a deep depression, and what I realized during that time was that my whole life had been about competing, proving I was good enough, and trying to please other people. I was chasing success for the wrong reasons — to look cool, to be impressive. That’s even why I had entered the film industry in the first place. I did love the creative aspects, but honestly, it was a lot less creative than I had imagined. It was more about navigating egos and managing difficult personalities, at least in the roles I had.

I reached a point where I knew I had to figure out a different way to live. I needed to feel differently about myself and about life. And if I couldn’t do that… I didn’t want to be here anymore. It was definitely a fork in the road. Thank God I have a little warrior spirit in me, because at that time, I felt completely alone. I wasn’t talking to my parents. I wasn’t leaning on anyone. And they had no idea how bad things had gotten for me — I didn’t tell anyone because I was ashamed.

But I was able to pull myself out of it, using a lot of the tools I talk about in my book, Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos. It took about six months. During that time, I basically became a little monk in my apartment, getting very disciplined about my wellness routine.

Every morning, I would wake up and meditate. Then I’d go to a yoga class, because yoga really helped me calm my mind. I have a crazy, overactive brain, and I also love physical exercise, so a vinyasa class was perfect. It helped me slow down, find some peace, and clear my thoughts. Because the truth is, if you don’t have a calm mind — if you can’t figure out how to quiet the noise — then inspiration and peace can’t get in. And without those, life just feels like a constant, chaotic sprint.

So, yoga and meditation became my anchors. I also kept a gratitude journal. Even on days when I didn’t feel grateful, I forced myself to think of things I should be grateful for. The goal was to reprogram my brain. My default setting had always been, You’re not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough. My mind was just replaying that same negative record over and over. So I had to train it to focus on what was good — what I did like about myself, what was going right.

And then one day, I woke up — oh, and one more thing I want to say. My main intention during this time was simple: I wanted to wake up and feel good just because I exist. Not because I had more money, or a new boyfriend, or a new career. My whole life up to that point had been about chasing happiness through external things — things that come and go. And I realized that was the problem. I thought, If I can figure out how to feel good about myself for no other reason than the fact that I’m a child of God, that I exist, and I can find a level of peace within myself — then no matter what happens, I’ll be okay.

And thank God, I was able to do it. I did it.

I’ll never forget that day. I woke up, and it was like I had taken MDMA or something. This overwhelming joy and peace just flooded my body. I felt so good — I was literally jumping on the bed! I had been watching videos and reading books about people who had experienced this kind of feeling, and I kept thinking, I’ve never felt that. I want to feel that. And then, suddenly, I did.

I went outside into nature, and everything looked different. I stood by the ocean, and it was more beautiful than I had ever seen it. I walked past this tree that I had passed a million times before without noticing, and suddenly, I was mesmerized. The way its roots pushed through the sidewalk — it was magical.

I had this quote on my wall that I had always thought was beautiful but never really got: It’s not about seeking new landscapes. It’s about having new eyes. That day, I got it.

It was incredible. And while the intensity of that feeling eventually faded, the joy and gratitude I experienced that day became something I could tap into whenever I needed to. Like a little nugget of peace inside me. Even during hard times.

I actually lost my father a year and a half ago, and if it hadn’t been for everything I went through — if I didn’t have that little nugget of peace inside me — I don’t think I would have handled his death well at all. I would’ve been a hot mess. But because of that foundation, I was able to handle it in a way that brought me strength instead of completely breaking me.

And that was really the whole goal of my book. I don’t want to tell anyone how they should live their life — that’s up to them. I just want people to go inward, find some peace, and build a sense of self-contentment. Because when you start from that place, you can then discover your true purpose and go after what you really want, rather than just following what society tells you to do. I had done the latter — I listened to all the noise, followed the so-called “right” path, and ended up in a life I didn’t even like. I didn’t know who I was, and I felt stuck. And I realized so much of that could have been avoided if I had just taken the time to really know myself first.

So from that point, I told myself, Okay, I have this foundation of self-contentment — now, who am I? What do I actually want to do?

That’s when I started a video blog. This was about a decade ago, back when blogging and vlogging were the thing. I called it Confused Girl in the City because, honestly, that was the most authentic truth about me at the time. Before, I had felt ashamed for not having all the answers, for not knowing who I was. But now, I wanted to own it. I wanted to take the shame out of it — not just for myself, but for others too. So I decided to turn it into an adventure of self-discovery.

As part of the blog, I committed to doing one new thing every week — something I had never done before — in an attempt to figure out who I was, why I was here, and what I truly wanted.

It’s funny because I recently watched one of my old videos from over a decade ago, and while it’s definitely cringey (I was so green, and the technology was so different back then), I actually said something really profound in my confused little state. I said, I’m hoping that by doing enough things that don’t lead anywhere, it will eventually lead to something. Meaning, I was hoping I’d discover something about myself in the process.

And that’s exactly what happened.

That journey led me to start my yoga wear line. And at the time, yoga clothing wasn’t nearly as mainstream as it is now. Nike didn’t even have yoga clothes yet! It was just Lululemon and a few niche, independent brands. So in a way, I was actually one of the early trailblazers in that space.

I decided to create a yoga line inspired by healing crystals. I had never studied fashion, didn’t know anything about the industry, but I was determined. So I went downtown and met with every manufacturer I could find. And fun fact — the ones who specialized in the kind of printing I needed were all Korean men. I loved it because in a lot of ways, I’m just like my dad. He was an immigrant, and he had that hustler mentality. So I could sit at a table with these guys, talk business, and really get into it. It was fun.

But it wasn’t easy. It took a long time to find someone who could produce the leggings at a price I could afford because, at that point, I was funding everything myself by working part-time jobs. Eventually, I found the right manufacturer, got the leggings made, and then thought, Okay, now how do I sell them?

That’s when I turned to Instagram. It was still relatively new at the time, but I saw its potential. I used it to market my brand, and before I knew it, the whole thing blew up. For about five years, my leggings were selling all over the world.

Yitzi: What inspired you to write your book?

One day, I was driving home to visit my parents, and out of nowhere, I had this lightning bolt of inspiration. It just hit me: You’re going to write a book.

It was this overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement, like something deep inside me just knew. And I thought, Well, there you go — I guess I’m writing a book!

I never planned to write a book. I didn’t even know that was in the cards for me. But I’ve learned to listen and follow the breadcrumbs. And even though I had never written a book before, I knew I wanted to do it differently. I didn’t want to force anything. I wanted to work with — whether you call it God, the universe, whatever — I wanted to work with that power and just let it be a purely creative, inspirational process, both for myself and for others.

So I decided I was going to write this book abroad. I wasn’t going to do it here. It took me about a year to organize my life and make my business mobile. I rented out my apartment in LA, packed one suitcase and a backpack, and I left. I ended up living in Bali for a year, which is where I wrote most of my book. And oh my god, what an amazing experience.

Every day, I would go do yoga — an hour and a half — in an open-air studio in the jungle. It was so humid, and you’re just sweating, but it was such an incredible way to start the day. And I lost so much weight too. I got really thin — without even trying. It was effortless. The whole experience was just effortless.

Then I’d sit at a café with my smoothie bowl, my coconut, and my green juice — Bali is amazing for all of that, and it’s not expensive, which is great. I’d sit there with my computer, and if the inspiration came that day, I’d write. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t. On the days when it flowed, it was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had — being so connected, excited, and in the zone. But then there were days when I just didn’t feel like writing, so I didn’t. I’d close my laptop, take it back to where I was staying, and go visit a temple or walk around town — just do something else.

That’s part of why it took me a while to finish the book. After Bali, I moved to Berlin for a year. Very different, but I wanted to experience two completely different environments. I finished the book there, and Berlin was great — such a fascinating place with a wild history, and I love history.

While I was in Berlin, COVID hit, so I came back to the States. That’s when I started looking for an agent. I put together a book proposal and started reaching out. And the craziest thing happened — I just googled “best nonfiction literary agents” and started emailing down the list. One agent got back to me right away and said, “This isn’t for me,” for whatever reason — I don’t even remember. But then she said, “I just forwarded this to another agent who I think would love it.”

And the wildest part? That agent she sent it to was literally the next one on my list — the one I was about to email. That was some kind of synchronicity.

So then that agent wanted to talk to me, and another agent liked the idea too. And I was like, oh my god, this is the first time in my life that two people actually want me! I felt so guilty about saying no to one of them. I was almost like, can I keep you both? I just felt like I couldn’t say no to either of them.

But in the end, I went with the one where there was that synchronicity — the agent who had been emailed before I even got the chance to reach out to her. And she had my book for two years. Two years of rejection after rejection after rejection.

But honestly, the most amazing part of all of this — and what I see as the real win — is that throughout all those rejections, I never once questioned my self-worth. Sure, I had doubts. I wondered if maybe I had aimed a little too high as a first-time author. But the doubt was never about my worthiness. It was more like, okay, maybe I need to hone this skill more. And I never obsessed over it. I didn’t cling to it or stress about when it would happen. I just kept reminding myself, I’m doing this book differently than anything else I’ve done in my life. I’m going to let it go and see what happens.

At the same time, my father was really sick with cancer — he was dying. And this is the part of my book journey that still feels so surreal. My dad was an immigrant, and for him, it was all about accolades. He wasn’t into self-help or any of that. His mindset was just, pull yourself up and go. Be successful.

Then, two months before he passed, two publishing companies got into a bidding war over my book. And I was home with him, so he got to listen to all the Zoom calls. He heard these publishers praising my book, saying they loved my idea that confusion is a virtue — that they’d never heard that before, that no book like this had ever been written. One of them even said, “Most self-help books just recycle ideas from other books, but yours is completely unique.” And I was sitting there, jaw on the floor, like, is this real life? Pinch me.

And my dad — he was so proud. I wasn’t even proud, I was just grateful. Because getting published is something you can’t force. You need someone to believe in you. And I just kept thinking, I am so grateful this is happening, and even more grateful that it’s happening while my dad is still here to witness it.

Before that, I would always tell myself, Trust the timing of your life. Things happen when they’re supposed to. Let go. Surrender. You tell yourself those things to keep going, right? But now, I know it’s true. I’m living proof that it works.

Yitzi: It’s been said that sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Do you have a story about a humorous mistake you made when you were first starting your yoga brand or your life as a travel blogger? A mistake that taught you a valuable lesson?

Giovanna: Oh my gosh. Okay, so one big lesson I learned — this was actually during COVID, after I had already started everything. Is that okay to share? I’ll go with this one.

So during COVID, I kept thinking, I have to do something. I can’t just sit around all day. And for some reason, I decided to buy Pilates rings from China and sell them on Amazon. I had no real desire to do it, no inspiration, no passion for it at all. It just felt like I was forcing myself to take action because I thought I should be doing something.

And it was a complete disaster. I ended up losing about $6,000 on the whole thing. It was such a mess. On top of that, I was stuck with all these Pilates rings, which I kept in my parents’ garage — until they were finally like, “Get these out of here!” We ended up just giving them away.

Looking back, it was such a ridiculous thing for me to do, and that was a huge amount of money for me at the time. But honestly, it was an important lesson. I will never again do something I’m not 100% committed to and excited about. If I’m not inspired, excited, and fully in it, I’m not doing it — because for me, it just doesn’t work.

Yitzi: That’s really beautiful. You probably have so many amazing stories from your travels. Can you share one or two that stand out in your mind, that describe your professional life?

Giovanna: Yeah, I mean, I travel blog, I still have my yoga wear line, and right now I’m doing a lot of promotion for the book. I guess the thing about my life that’s probably very different from other people’s is that I like it this way. I’d get bored if I were doing just one thing for too long.

Right now, I’m home in Los Angeles, doing a lot of podcasts, promoting the book, and doing interviews. But next month, I could be living in Argentina, traveling around, discovering the history, the people, and the food. I’m a bit of a switcher-upper. One month, I might stay in one place and focus on writing my second book, really immersing myself in a community. Other times, I’m constantly on the move. It all just depends on where I am and what I’m working on at that moment.

Yitzi: That’s great. So, let’s talk about your book a little bit. You mentioned the idea that being confused is a virtue. Let’s start from the very beginning — your blog was initially called “Confused Girl.” Why did you describe yourself that way? To me, it sounded like it could be lonely or sad. What was your intent behind that idea of being confused?

Giovanna: Well, I think when you’re living life a certain way — your family is living a certain way, the people around you are living a certain way — you just assume that’s how life is supposed to be. You have this mindset, these stories you tell yourself, and this whole program in your brain about how things are done. But then, you get to a point where you’re deeply unhappy, and you start asking yourself, I don’t understand. How is this possible? Is there something wrong with me? Is there something wrong with the world?

That’s where the confusion comes in. For me, that confusion led to depression, but I was able to come out of it. And when I did, it felt like I had been reborn. Before, I was a product of what everyone else thought — what society expected. But once I let go of all that, I became a blank canvas. I had to ask myself, What does Giovanna actually like? What colors do I like — not because someone told me, but because I genuinely like them? What food do I enjoy? What do I really love?

And beyond that, What is my unique purpose? Why am I here? Because I truly believe we all have a unique purpose. Life is confusing — nobody comes into this world with a manual. When I was born, there wasn’t a handbook called Giovanna’s Life. I wish there had been! But the reality is, we shame ourselves for not having all the answers when, in truth, nobody has the answers. We’re all just figuring it out as we go, experimenting, trying things — that’s what life is.

And the thing is, once you figure out one thing, you’re going to be confused about something else. You get into college, but then you realize, I don’t really like it here — what should I do? You get married, and either things aren’t going well, or they are, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to have kids. Then you have kids, and you’re like, How do I want to raise them? It’s a never-ending journey of discovery.

So instead of being afraid of confusion, why not see it as an opportunity? Confusion leads to discovery and self-growth. Without it, you’d never explore, never question, never evolve — because you’d think you didn’t need to.

Yitzi: You’re saying confusion is like gasoline — it fuels discovery. Once you have all the answers and you’re not confused, then things just become stagnant.

Giovanna: Well, ironically, those are actually the most confused people — just on a grander scale. If you walk around thinking, Oh, I’ve got all the answers. I know this, I know that, then you’re not giving yourself the opportunity to discover anything new. And honestly, you’re doing yourself a big disservice.

Yitzi: Beautiful. So, this is our signature question. You’ve been blessed with a lot of success. For someone just starting out as a writer, can you share five things you think are essential to becoming a great writer, like yourself?

Giovanna: Well, I think number one, you have to have something you want to share that’s bigger than yourself. To be a really great writer, it can’t just be about you — it has to be about what you’re offering to the world. And whatever that is, it needs to make you come alive. That’s key. There has to be more joy and excitement in it than overwhelm. Of course, overwhelm and stress are part of being human, but if the passion isn’t there, it’s going to be hard to push through.

Second, you need the ability to get into the flow. That means knowing how to quiet your mind. I have such a hyperactive mind, and I knew I couldn’t write in just any environment. That’s why I went to Bali. I had to bring myself to yoga every morning, clear my head, and get into the right mental space. I knew what I had to do to tap into that creative flow.

Third, you just have to do it. Sit down and write. Don’t overthink it. Why should anyone else’s story be more valuable than yours? We all have unique life journeys and perspectives worth sharing. And if you’re writing fiction, great character development is so important — creating characters that readers can emotionally connect with and truly understand.

Fourth, be open and flexible. I’m very determined, but I’m also open and adaptable. When I wrote my book, I didn’t have a rigid outline. I had ideas, I had chapter concepts, but I allowed things to unfold naturally. I think that’s key — letting the story take shape as you go.

And finally, I prefer flexibility over structure. I like giving myself the space to evolve within the writing process. When I started my book in 2018 — wow, seven years ago now! — there weren’t as many platforms and apps to help with writing like there are today. But I trusted my own rhythm, and that’s something I’d recommend to any writer: let yourself find a flow that works for you.

Yitzi: That’s great. This is our aspirational question. Giovanna, because of your great work and the platform you’ve built, you’re a person of enormous influence. If you could spread an idea or inspire a movement that would bring the most good to the most people, what would it be?

Giovanna: That confusion is a virtue. And to go inward and find a level of peace and happiness there — because if you don’t, you’ll never truly find it anywhere else.

Yitzi: Wonderful. Wonderful. How can our readers purchase your book? How can they buy your yoga fashion wear? How can they support you in any way?

Giovanna: You can go to my website, confusedgirlinthecity.com, where you’ll find my book. It’s available online at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and through my publishing company — all the links are there. The book is called Confused Girl: Find Your Peace in the Chaos.

You can also follow me on Instagram, @ConfusedGirlLA, to keep up with all my shenanigans and travels.

Yitzi: So nice to meet you. I wish you continued success, blessings, and good health. I hope we can do this again next year.

Giovanna: Yes! Thank you so much, you were wonderful. I appreciate you. Thank you.