Author Jamie Sea on Becoming Free from the Fear of Failure
… If you are feeling fear of failure, break down what you’re actually afraid of. The word failure can feel so big and heavy that it will instantly make your dreams and goals not feel possible. I want you to know it’s all possible and for you to shift into that same energy, you must discover data and information about yourself. What does failing mean? What are you actually afraid is going to happen? Is that fear a feeling or is it 100% factually true?
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free from the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Jamie Sea.
Jamie Sea is an author, thought leader and a wealth energetics coach who educates mompreneurs and female entrepreneurs on how to come home to their worthiness, clarity, and wealth empowerment through high level thought work, energetic strategies and quantum mechanics. Jamie works with women who feel stuck or overwhelmed with reaching wealth in any season of life. She implements her unique methodology to help them get clear on their values, align their money with those values, live a purposeful life using the unique framework of a High Vibe Money Mama + money aligned to your values + purposeful life = wealth expansion.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I am so grateful for the experience, thank you for having me! I am momma of 2 daughters, wife and 3 x business owner. Before I became entrepreneur, I was a girl who suffered deeply with anxiety, an eating disorder, and massive self-doubt. I grew up with an idea that I had to look a certain way, act a certain way and achieve a certain way to be loved and accepted. Looking back now, I know that was only because I was observing the views and stories of others and adopting them as my own. At the age of 18 I decided I wanted to create hair art and went to cosmetology school, landed my first salon job and stayed there for about 9 years. During that time, I met my husband, got married and had my first daughter all while suffering with anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder. When my daughter was 4 months old, my husband and I were as broke as broke could get and I took one look at my daughter and said, “I am ready to change our lives.” I decided to go out and work for myself doing hair and knew success was the only option. I had four dollars to my name, massive fear building up inside of me — but knew I couldn’t give up.
Fast forward 7 years, I now have created 3 massively successful companies, have become a self-made millionaire, healed my eating disorder, depression, and chronic anxiety. I now spend my days helping mompreneurs and female entrepreneurs in business create a company they are head over heels in love with, reach their success without the toxic hustle, and be as present as possible during this one beautiful life they have been gifted.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
Yes! I would love to share the story of the first time I took inspired action on something that really scared me. It was in the first year of doing hair independently, and I started sharing my process through social media platforms. I did it to build a clientele but while doing so, I reached a whole group of hairstylists who were really interested in my creative process. One day I said to my husband, “I want to create more in-depth trainings.” I had ZERO clue what I was doing, how to film it all, how to put it all together or even sell it. But somehow, I did. The day it launched I made 15k. It was the biggest amount of money I had ever seen at that time and found myself sitting on my couch and hysterically crying. I just kept saying to myself, “I can’t believe did that.” I learned that a single idea that you take action on and fully see through, can surprise you in ways you never could imagine.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Thank you! My first character trait for leadership would be honesty. It goes way further than just being honest with my team, but it matters most with myself. There was a time when I found myself in the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey where I was constantly people pleasing. I was paying my team more and more money even at the expense of my own take home pay. I was saying yes constantly and bending over backwards to ensure everyone was always taken care of. I was more depressed than ever, I had to be honest with myself and realize that what I was doing wasn’t working. I understood that my behavior was rooted in abandonment and the more I gave even at the expense of my own joy meant they wouldn’t leave. But here’s the funny thing, it didn’t keep them from leaving. And anytime they did, I was wrecked. I did a lot of healing around honestly with myself and created new boundaries, did tremendous work around the wounds of abandonment and saw incredible results.
The second character trait is empowerment. I always say that I want to be the light of what is possible for others but also, I see the light in them and deeply want them to shine. I had a team member onboard with me and I shared with her that she had so much potential as an educator. I shared with her the gifts I saw in her and even when she didn’t quite see it herself, the seeds were planted. Fast forward to today, she’s educated in classrooms all over the country and created massively successful online education for people all over the world. I believe that when you empower someone with what is possible, you give them permission to witness their own gifts.
Thirdly, I am deeply compassionate. There was a time when one of my team members was experiencing massive overwhelm and self-doubt. I noticed the energy shift in her and asked if she felt comfortable sharing what she was going through. A leader that sits and listens with deep compassion validates the person they are communicating with. I told her I was so sorry for what she was feeling and that it’s okay for her to be experiencing these emotions at this time. I then ask for permission to share actionable steps to move through it or if she would rather just be still with the emotions. After she experienced the validation of her emotions, she was ready to feel a new way. With my compassion I was able to allow her to feel important, safe and truly held in that moment, which prepared her to take action towards her growth.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure. Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure? Why is failure so frightening to us?
First, we must take a look deeper into one large factor. The word “failure” to so many has “worst case scenario” baked into it. This word alone can activate our fear center in our mind and nervous system which creates feelings of fear, nervousness, and anxiety. When we think about failure this way, it scares us so deeply that we end up doing anything in our power to not experience it. Next, we must look at the “all of nothing thought process”. I either succeed or I fail. I either do great or I do terribly. I either win or lose. The expectations and attachments to either one sets you up for self-judgment, comparison, and lack of inspired action taking.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
The downsides to being afraid of failure is that is keeps you inside a box of false safety. This box is called your comfort zone and most will stay there because it’s predictable, even if their suffering, it’s still predicable suffering. Your nervous system and your mind do NOT like change, and without proper tools most will stay exactly where they are for years and years, sometimes their whole lives in a comfort zone, that is the furthest thing from comfortable.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the free of failure can help improve our lives?
Absolutely! To become free of failure first what I advise anyone to remove the word failure from your vocabulary until the word doesn’t activate your nervous system anymore. Then we are going to break down what they are actually afraid of. All failure is, is a deeper fear of something not going a certain way.
1.) What does failure mean to you?
2.) What are you afraid is actually going to happen?
3.) Are these fears a feeling or do you have 100% factual evidence it will come true?
From there I would take a deeper look at what is it they are actually afraid of. Failure to some might be losing money, feeling embarrassed, fear of judgment, fear of not being good enough at something, fear of being seen as different.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us? Of course!
I was leaving my first salon job that I had been at for over 9 years. I was going to become a business owner for the first time and I was so scared. Here are the thoughts that consumed me, “What if no one follows me?” “What if I don’t do well?” “What if I am making a huge mistake?” You can see my fears showing up as hypotheticals which activated my nervous system into even deeper fear. I put in my two weeks and they decided to have me leave sooner and then they told all my clients I decided to become a stay at home mom. I was devastated, not only because I was relying on that last paycheck to keep a roof over my head but more so the relationships I had with the owners of that business changed in an instant. I was told to never come back and that all my belongings would be mailed to me. In that moment not only did I feel I failed, but I my nervous system was so dysregulated and fearful of building relationships with people in the future for fear of them leaving me.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
After I did my healing work around this, I realized it was never failure. I was being guided into an environment sooner than expected so I could learn more about myself and realize my strength and bravery. Failure is never about failing, and succeeding is never about success, it’s about what you’re learning in the process and who you are becoming during the process.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Such a great question!
1.) If you are feeling fear of failure, break down what you’re actually afraid of. The word failure can feel so big and heavy that it will instantly make your dreams and goals not feel possible. I want you to know it’s all possible and for you to shift into that same energy, you must discover data and information about yourself. What does failing mean? What are you actually afraid is going to happen? Is that fear a feeling or is it 100% factually true?
2.) Fill the energy back up! Ask yourself, “What are some other magical possibilities that could occur by reaching this goal?” Write down 5. This is going to shift into the energy of expansion vs restriction, allowing for nervous system to calm down and open the portal of powerful ideas to flow in.
3.) Ask yourself, “What can I learn about myself through this process?” Write down up to 5! This will allow for deeper introspection of the growth you are craving for yourself. Then with each response ask yourself, “Why is this so important to me?” These answers will provide you with a deeper emotional connection to your growth.
4.) Everything is neutral, you give it the meaning. Your goals are neutral and you decide what’s a win and what’s a loss. The power is within YOU! Every time you are approaching a goal, do your best to look through the lens of neutrality.
5.) Since I mentioned before, the mind hates change and LOVES predictability. We want to create predictable next steps so we can keep you more regulated, resulting in powerful incremental growth. Ask yourself, what knowledge and I lacking in this area? Would I feel more supported in a community of people reaching similar goals? Would I be best supported in hiring a coach to guide me through this process?
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways… while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
I fully believe he meant that that the only way to success is to always keep going towards your goal of who you want to become. To fail in many ways is to constantly doubt yourself, blame others, hold yourself back, and be too frightened to try. I believe as long as you don’t quit on yourself, you are on your way to success!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I love this so much! If I could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, it would be to become the author of YOUR own story. I wrote my first book- “You, Rewritten” all about this! If you have never done any mindset work or nervous system regulation, at this point you are running on someone else’s story. A collection of other people’s ideas of what you should be, how you should act, what you need to do to be loved, or be successful. A collection of experiences, traumas, and societal exceptions imprinted in all parts of you. Most people are searching for happiness, and I firmly believe you find it when you give yourself permission to come home to yourself and to dissolve all that doesn’t align with your most vibrant self. Can you image the collective healing, empowerment, ease, and fulfillment that could spread? I get goosebumps thinking about it!
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them :-)
Tony Robbins for sure. I remember when I was doing my healing work through my eating disorder, past trauma, and depression, I would go for long walks in the cold with his YouTube videos playing in my headphones. His story, his strength, and his ability to rise in such a way for others is magical. I was just having a conversation with my father and he asked me, “What would be a big goal for you?” I said, “To teach on stage with inspirational leaders like Tony Robbins.” I have a vision of such massive impact and what he shows me, is that it’s all possible.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Thank you! I would love to continue working with readers who align with how I support my clients! A perfect next step is my five-star podcast, There She Rose. It’s on all listening platforms and it gives you weekly inspiration, motivation, an action steps to change your life and business. You can also visit my website, www.therisingwolf.com where I offer my high-level wealth expansion coaching and powerfully transformative self-paced programs. Wherever you start, you can expect big wins, big changes, and most importantly, support in your growth.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente coaches cancer survivors to overcome the confusion and gain the clarity needed to get busy living in mind, body, and spirit. He inspires health and wellness seekers to find meaning in the “why” and cultivate resilience in their mindset. Savio is a Board Certified Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), #1 best-selling author, syndicated columnist, podcaster, stage 3 cancer survivor, and founder of The Human Resolve LLC. He has interviewed notable celebrities and TV personalities and has been featured on Fox News, The Wrap, and has worked with Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, BuzzFeed, Food Network, WW and Bloomberg. Savio has been invited to cover numerous industry events throughout the U.S. and abroad. His mission is to provide clients, listeners, and viewers alike with tangible takeaways on how to lead a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle. Savio pens a weekly newsletter in which he delves into secrets to living smarter by feeding your “three brains” — head, heart, and gut- in the hope of connecting the dots to those sticky parts of our nature that matter to living our best life.