Author Joshua Becker: 5 Ways To Create a Healthy Relationship With Screens and Technology
Social media use and technology in general have shown to negatively impact our mood fueling feelings of anxiety, depression, isolation, and the fear of missing out. Lack of positive feedback online can decrease our feelings of self-worth. Technology can disrupt our attention, our sleep, and our ability to focus on deep work. And that’s not even to mention how the entire industry is fueled by advertisements and sponsored content designed to shape our desires and worldview. It has become an addiction, so normalized, we don’t even notice its worst effects on us.
As a part of my series about 5 Ways To Create a Healthy Relationship With Screens and Technology.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Joshua Becker, Founder of Becoming Minimalist.
Joshua Becker is the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-selling author of five books including The Minimalist Home and The More of Less.
His new book, Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life (WaterBrook) offers practical steps to overcome societal distractions that keep us from pursuing meaning.
He is the Founder and Editor of Becoming Minimalist, a website dedicated to intentional living visited by over one million readers every month with a social media following of three million people. He is the Creator of Simplify Magazine, Simple Money Magazine, and the Clutterfree App.
And he is the Founder of The Hope Effect, a nonprofit organization changing how the world cares for orphans. Currently, he lives in Peoria, AZ with his wife and two teenage kids.
Joshua and his young family were introduced to minimalism thirteen years ago during a short conversation with their neighbor. Since then, Joshua’s story and writing have inspired millions around the world to find more life by owning fewer possessions. Based on his thoughtful and intentional approach to minimalism, he is one of the leading voices in the modern simplicity movement.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! What is your backstory?
The most relevant parts of my story are that I grew up in a lower middle-class home in the Upper Midwest, South Dakota to be exact. I’m married with two kids and was introduced to the lifestyle of minimalism thirteen years ago on a Saturday morning while living in Vermont.
My wife and I agreed to tackle the Spring Cleaning of our house that particular Saturday and I dutifully went out to the garage to sweep it and organize it after the long Vermont winter. I had visions of my five-year old son Salem working alongside me, but he lasted about 30 seconds before heading out to the backyard, asking me to play catch with him.
But I had gone outside with a purpose — and hours later I was still working to organize the garage. I began complaining to my neighbor about the amount of work that had gone into the garage and her response changed my life. She said, “That’s why my daughter is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need to own all this stuff.”
I remember looking at the dirty pile of possessions stacked up in my driveway and catching the face of my son swinging alone on the swing set in the backyard, and suddenly realizing how much of a distraction my possessions had become from the things that lead to a meaningful life.
My wife and I immediately set out to remove the physical possessions from our home that we no longer needed so we could focus more time, money, and energy on things that matter.
That was also the weekend I started the blog, Becoming Minimalist. It began as simply an online journal of the decisions we were making and the lessons we were learning. But as more and more people found the website, it quickly became a place to inspire others to live more by owning less.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
There are so many stories — it’s tough to narrow it down. I have seen many changes in the minimalist movement over the last 13 years. When I started, I was the first website entirely dedicated to minimalism — although there were lots of people talking about it online. But over the last decade, there have been countless sites pop up, books written, YouTube channels started, even documentaries and shows produced.
However, at the beginning, there were a lot of misconceptions around the notion of owning less. Nevertheless, whenever I had full opportunity to explain exactly what I meant by minimalism, removing distractions to intentionally elevate our values, very few people disagreed with my assertion that there are more important pursuits in life than physical possessions.
I was invited by a well-known architect in Miami to speak to their impressive list of high-end clients about the value and importance of minimalism and owning less. I was nervous, wondering how well my ideas would be received by people of incredibly high net worth.
But the presentation went well, and I could tell right from the start, that the audience was tracking with my message. At the end, a beautifully kind older woman approached me and thanked me for causing her to “think differently about life.” And then she told me something I’ve never forgotten. She said, “You are totally right about how possessions can become a distraction from more important things. Thank you for saying what you did. Immediately when you were done, my husband and I decided that we no longer need to own five houses. So we’ve decided to sell our house in the Caribbean and get by with only four.”
To this day, her response to my talk is the most unique I’ve ever heard. And proves, at least a little bit, how the message of minimalism and living intentionally holds value for everyone — even if it plays out incredibly different for each one of us.
Are you working on any new or exciting projects now?
I have a new book out this Spring: Things That Matter: Overcoming Distraction to Pursue a More Meaningful Life
It’s about applying the message of minimalism to other areas in life, because the reality is that possessions are only one distraction that can keep us from living our best, most meaningful life. Other distractions such as the pursuit of money or fame, or even things like past mistakes and fear can also keep us from living the future we want.
And of course, I think we can all recognize how technology can be both incredibly powerful for making a positive difference in the world, but can also become a giant distraction that we all need to deal with.
Ok super. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview. Between work and personal life, the average adult spends nearly 11 hours looking at a screen per day. How does our increasing screen time affect our mental, physical, and emotional health?
There are so many studies coming out, almost every day, on the negative impact that technology and social media are having on our brains and lives it’s almost impossible to keep up with them.
You simply cannot overstate the amount of time and energy and attention that is being wasted staring into our devices. But the studies actually go much further:
Social media use and technology in general have shown to negatively impact our mood fueling feelings of anxiety, depression, isolation, and the fear of missing out. Lack of positive feedback online can decrease our feelings of self-worth. Technology can disrupt our attention, our sleep, and our ability to focus on deep work. And that’s not even to mention how the entire industry is fueled by advertisements and sponsored content designed to shape our desires and worldview. It has become an addiction, so normalized, we don’t even notice its worst effects on us.
Can you share your top five ways people can improve mental wellness and create a healthy relationship with technology?
Yes, absolutely. The mistake most of us make in this regard is thinking that simple tips and tricks are going to solve the problem for us. Now, don’t mishear me on this, there is a time and space for tips and tricks to create a healthier relationship with technology. But at first, we need to do the harder work of rethinking our relationship with it.
With that in mind:
1. Do a Digital Detox.
The only way to truly discover technology’s controlling influence on your life is to turn it off, walk away, and sense how strong the pull is to turn it back on.
Once a year, I take an extended break from technology — in every way possible. Pick 29 days and go entirely without any technology (or as much as your job allows). Challenge yourself, push your limits. The more you can cut out, the more effective this exercise will be. And when you return to tech, you’ll be a better position to discern where it is serving you and where it is controlling you.
2. Notice the Difference Between Contribution and Consumption Online.
It is one thing to use technology to create a better world (however you are wired to do that). We can contribute positivity into the world by reaching out to a distant cousin, complimenting a friend, sharing the beauty of nature, or drawing attention to a problem in the world. But it is something entirely different to waste much of your day scrolling social media, playing video games, or watching cat videos. Commit to more creating and less consuming.
3. See Tech as More of a Tool than a Toy.
After choosing contribution over consumption, another principle for helping you reestablish your relationship with technology in a healthier way is to use technology less as a toy and more as a tool. In other words, do most of the reducing of your time interacting with technology in the area of entertainment, especially silly or mindless amusement.
Now, that’s not to say there isn’t some benefit to technology distraction, but if it’s consuming 11 hours of our day, that’s too much.
Only you can decide how much time is reasonable to devote to valueless but diverting entertainment. Only you can decide how tech can help you become a better person and a more effective crusader for your cause. But remember this: we regain power by spurning the trivial, the superficial, the frivolous, the hateful, the sinful, the moronic, and the petty. Don’t feed the monster that is hoping to devour you.
4. Question Everything.
You don’t need to be on social media to make a difference in the world — some of the most influential women and men aren’t on social media.
You don’t need to keep your email inbox open all day long — some of the most productive men and women on the planet check email only once or twice/day.
You don’t need to be on Facebook to know what your friends and family are up to. You don’t need to watch television to relax. You don’t need to play the latest and greatest video game to have things in common with your friends.
Don’t allow any cultural or societal expectation to determine your reality. You get to decide what role technology is going to play in your life. Question everything. You don’t have to live like everyone else — in fact, you’ll probably be happier if you don’t.
5. Test Tips and Tricks to See What Works.
Countless blogs and articles offer tips and tricks to corral technology. Maybe you’ve tried some of them with little success. The reason they didn’t work in the past might be that you didn’t wrestle with the deeper philosophies underlying them. Now, I encourage you to try them again.
But first, start with the twenty-nine-day digital detox. And then wrap your mind around the potential to contribute on the internet rather than just consume, and to use technology as a tool more than as a toy. Next, try adding one or two of these tips into your life to help you succeed and stay within healthy guardrails:
• Make a habit of putting away your phone when you get home.
• Create tech-free zones in your house.
• Disable notifications.
• Check email only twice a day.
• Reduce the apps on the home page of your phone.
• Use an app to shut down a device after a certain period of time.
With the new mindset from Steps 1–4, you’ll find these tips more helpful.
Between social media distractions, messaging apps, and the fact that Americans receive 45.9 push notifications each day, Americans check their phones 80 times per day. How can people, especially younger generations, create a healthier relationship with social media?
Every one of those examples perfectly illustrate the steps we need to take as humans, regardless of our age, to become more intentional with our use of technology.
Turn off the notifications!
Don’t allow someone else, or even worse: artificial intelligence, control your attention. You get to decide when you are going to check your email, your social media accounts, even your text messages and phone messages if you want. You don’t have to live your life at the beck and call of anyone and everyone who wants to reach you.
Turn off all notifications. Set your boundaries. And take back control of your time and attention.
80% of smartphone users check their phones before they brush their teeth in the morning. What effect does starting the day this way have on people? Is there a better morning routine you suggest?
Well, the entire practice of checking your phone first thing in the morning immediately puts someone else in control of your mind and schedule. That moment, right when you wake up, may be the most important portion of your day.
Henry Ward Beecher put it this way, “The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.”
Rather than allowing your social feed or news website or email inbox to set the direction of your day, take back intentionality. You decide, first, what are the most important tasks and mindsets you need for that day. Set your intention before allowing someone else to do it for you.
Can you please give us your favorite life lesson quote?
Sure, in fact, I’ll give you the exact quote that sparked the idea for my new book, Things That Matter.
Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. — Seneca
This is how we reach the end of life, proud of how we lived. We determine what pursuits are worth the one life we’ve been given to live, and then we remove every distraction that keeps us from it.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would continue to encourage people to own fewer possessions. Minimalism doesn’t solve every problem, but it does create margin in life to better handle them and spurs intentionality in all areas — money, work, relationships, and technology.
The quickest way to make room for the things that matter is to remove everything that doesn’t.
What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?
I would encourage readers to find me at www.becomingminimalist.com or the Becoming Minimalist Facebook page.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
