Author Lori Hanson On How to Grow Beyond Your Comfort Zone to Grow Both Personally and Professionally

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Your word choice fuels your perception of how hard it is to “get outside your comfort zone.” People often talk about “pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.” That implies it’s really difficult or hard before you even start. And makes it easy for your brain to shut down.

It feels most comfortable to stick with what we are familiar with. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that true growth comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. What are some ways that influential people have pushed themselves out of their comfort zone to grow both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lori Hanson.

Lori Hanson is The Success Whisperer, an Executive Performance Coach, Keynote Speaker and 5-time Author, she creates experiences that Increase Awareness, Shift Perspective, and Inspire Action. She is the founder and CEO of Lori Hanson International which focuses on “Shifting Your Mindset for Success.” She inspires women and men to amplify their authentic voice, own their value, and step up to their Next Level and Lori believes you have NO Limits.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

Of course. It’s funny, how we look back from today and see all the things that shaped where we were headed.
I was the youngest of three girls, ten years later a boy arrived, and four years after, another girl. I grew up babysitting and decided early on that I wanted to focus on my career vs having kids (‘cos I already raised two). In the early 80’s this was not a common decision and one I got questioned on regularly.

My family moved a lot, from several places in Michigan, to Chicago and Columbus. In all, I attended 3 grade schools, 3 high schools and 2 colleges. I never really felt like I fit, anywhere. I wasn’t popular, pretty or the life of the party. I was musical, an accomplished violinist and gifted singer, I also played piano and saxophone. I had a hard time picking a lane as they say!

My eating disorder started when I went to boarding school at 14. For nearly 30 years I struggled with low self-esteem, body image and an obsession with food. Despite this, I was very independent. I excelled at work — as a teenager. That was the first place that felt like I actually belonged and fit. School was a means to an end; I was an average student. I was a bit of a rebel, that’s where my courage and confidence showed up! I didn’t just play by the rules, I was on this planet to be unique. I often felt overlooked and carried the “never good enough” label for years. As I sorted through this, it led to me finding my voice, becoming a highly successful salesperson (in my corporate days), and learning to connect my mind, body and soul energetically (much later in life).

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“No matter what people say or do to me, I’m still a worthwhile person.” I first heard this quote listening to tapes from a seminar by Jack Canfield, co-author of the Chicken Soup books (before the books were popular). I had just finalized my divorce from an abusive relationship, and this was so empowering for me! I wrote it on a sticky note and put it in my middle desk drawer at work.

My self-esteem was so low at that point, I didn’t realize I had choices and that I was not defined by other people’s opinions. This started the trek to me understanding I had a choice about my thoughts and my emotions. And I learned to believe that Anything Is Possible — even for me.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

The film, “What the Bleep Do We Know?!” had a profound effect on me in the process of finding my voice, forgiving myself and beginning to love the person I was. There is a scene in the movie, where Marlee Matlin’s character (Amanda) goes from shouting “I hate you!” to herself in the mirror, to drawing hearts all over her body. This was a result of seeing a demo of how words taped to water bottles change the molecular structure.

A guy says to her, “Just think, if thoughts can do that to water… imagine what our thoughts can do to us.” (Check out Masaru Emoto’s water experiments.) I call this my “2x4 moment,” it literally smacked me upside the head! I had hated my body for years…this was the beginning of opening a new dialogue with myself.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. What does “getting outside of your comfort zone” mean?

Let’s start with your comfort zone: the place you routinely, habitually, automatically do things without having to think about it.

Getting “out” of your comfort zone is doing something that is not your normal pattern, something:

• Different (like driving on the “wrong” side of the road in another country).
• New (You’ve never done it before so you don’t have all the answers, you might be unsure or nervous).
• Uncomfortable or scary (public speaking, taking a personal or professional risk, asking for a raise).

Clasp your hands together with your fingers intertwined. Which thumb is on top — the left or the right?
Now lace your fingers so the opposite thumb is on top. This feels weird, doesn’t it?! Even though it’s a minor thing, this is “Getting out of your comfort zone,” the pattern you typically follow.

Can you help articulate a few reasons why it is important to get out of your comfort zone?

Why should you “push” yourself to get outside your comfort zone if it’s so stressful and painful? There is actually a very simple question here: Are you happy with where you are in life today?

• Where you live?
• Your career, business or job?
• Your financial health?
• Your physical health?
• Mental health?
• Personal and professional relationships (partner, family, kids, friends…boss, employees, team…)?
• Happy with how you show up daily (confident, generous, authentic or low self-esteem, jealous, judgmental)?

As human beings we are here to learn and grow every day. This is a typical list of things that often cause someone to say, “Hey, I want to change “x” and be a better, happier, more fun-loving, fulfilled person.” It’s the desire for more, for change, for moving out of monotony into something exciting and new, even if the first thought of it scares the @#$% out of you!

And as you experiment by trying something new (like sky diving!) you learn that stretching yourself delivers unexpected rewards and an awareness of things you are capable of doing — whether personally or professionally.

Stepping out of your comfort zone allows you to embrace a life without limitations. The concept alone is mind-blowing for some people.

Is it possible to grow without leaving your comfort zone? Can you explain what you mean?

You may heard the saying, “people either have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.” If you are happy where you are and you have subscribed to the idea that you cannot change: you likely have a fixed mindset.

If you want to grow, to learn new skills, to speak another language, to earn more money, to start a non-profit, to improve your relationships, to be a better leader, to feel more comfortable speaking your mind, to be more authentic…to get the best out of your life and you are willing to grow to get it: you likely have a growth mindset.

You cannot grow and experience new things when you are “stuck” in your comfort zone. Only a small percentage of the population typically will step outside their comfort zone — why? Because it’s scary! You’ve got to face your fears to grow and many people are not willing to do it.

Can you share some anecdotes from your personal experience? Can you share a story about a time when you stepped out of your comfort zone and how it helped you grow? How does it feel to take those first difficult steps?

Back when I worked in corporate, I was a well-respected project manager. I told a client about a software program my company had written that would make life easier for them, and they bought it. Management said, “We need to get her into sales!”

This was way outside my comfort zone. I had very little self-esteem at the time and zero level of comfort in having a sales conversation. And I didn’t have much respect for salespeople, because I saw many examples of low integrity. But I liked the idea of earning more money through commissions, and I loved advising and consulting with my clients on what to do. So, despite my lack of knowledge, I dove in. (I don’t typically stick my toe in, I just dive right in!)

One client was a guy I had worked with before. He loved to tell the story of how when I first called him, I said (in a soft voice) “Hi Jon, um, this is Lori and I wondered if you might possibly, maybe, potentially need some software developers?” Then he would laugh and say, how ~1 year later I would call him and in a strong voice, say, “Hey Jon, it’s Lori, what resources do you need and how long of a contract do you want?” He exaggerated a bit, but it was true, I was so incredibly uncomfortable asking a potential buyer for a sale when I started.

What I found is I was a natural at developing relationships with clients and sales is where my nurturing instincts came in (remember I didn’t have kids). I left the tech world years ago and I’ve had several clients tell me in the last couple of years I was the best Sales Executive they ever had.

The reward in this instance: I found a natural gift I had no idea was there. I loved sales, loved entertaining clients, taking them out to golf, finding a way to get them to respond to me, setting a goal and reaching it. This led to a highly successful career doing something I loved. All because I invested a great deal of time and energy learning how to be a solution-oriented salesperson — by building relationships. And yes, there were financial rewards as well.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are your “five ways to push past your comfort zone, to grow both personally and professionally”?

Do you ever think about what separates the influential leaders, unstoppable athletes, highly successful business owners from the individuals who struggle? Why does it appear so easy for some, and such a struggle for others?

As a mindset and success coach, these are areas I study, contemplate and collaborate with clients on every day. Getting to the “secret” of how to shift yourself out of the uncomfortable place — or more accurately, taking action despite feeling uncomfortable, offers a world of difference in the results you want. Here are five ways to help you move beyond your comfort zone.

1 — Start with Your Mindset

Your word choice fuels your perception of how hard it is to “get outside your comfort zone.” People often talk about “pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.” That implies it’s really difficult or hard before you even start. And makes it easy for your brain to shut down.

I prefer to use the word shift, or to move beyond…that makes it feel more doable, doesn’t it? If you can find a way to shift to a new way of thinking, to a new way to execute a task, to a new way to set and achieve a goal, to a new way to reward yourself…now it feels like something that is actually doable vs. so scarry. And in case no one has told you, struggling is optional.

If you set a goal to run 30 minutes on the treadmill and you’re thinking, “I can’t do this, I’ll never do this…” It’s going to be hard, and you’re destined to fail. By contrast, if as you get on the treadmill you say, “I can do this, I know I can do this, I’m going to do this, I can do this…” Next thing you know, you did it! Your mindset and the words you choose will fuel you for failure or success — it’s your choice.

2 — Start Small and Build Your Courage to Step Up (whether personally or professionally)

If you’re new to “Stepping Up,” start with something small that terrifies you (or makes you nervous) and work up to something bigger. Here’s a “small thing” I did years ago that gave me a big boost.

I had a boss who scheduled a weekly status meeting for the two of us. During our meeting she proceeded to answer the phone every time it rang and left me sitting there. I was so annoyed I decided to confront her about it. With hands shaking I pointed out that every week when we met she answered the phone and talked for several minutes while I sat there, and that my time was important too. She said, “Oh Lori, I never thought of it that way! Thank you for mentioning this, it won’t happen again.” And it didn’t. That was a wonderful confidence builder for me to step up and say what was on my mind.

3 — Identify — How Bad Do You Want It?

Creating what I refer to as “Next-level Success” personally or professionally requires you to be really clear on what you want — more importantly on why you want it. What’s your driving force for doing this?

By understanding your motivation behind your desire, it can lead you to your commitment. You know, the place of never giving up. The rewards are exhilarating!

Whether you’ve set a goal to eat healthier, lose weight, drop your sugar intake, or you want that promotion and pay raise this year. By taking the time to ask yourself why you want it, you’ll stay stronger on those days when you don’t feel motivated to stay on track.

Ask yourself:

…Why do I want to lose weight (or get the promotion and pay raise)?

…Why is it important to ME? (it won’t work if your motive is to do it for someone else)

…What will this give me that I don’t have today?

…Why is what important?

…What benefits will this give me and other people I know?

…On a scale of 1–10, how high of a priority is this for me? (if not high on the list, it won’t happen)

…Am I willing to fully commit to making this happen?

This is a variation of an exercise I often use with clients. By digging deep into the reasons for why they want to reach a goal, we find out if their reason is motivating enough to go after it.

Recently, I had a client who through this exercise, realized she was setting goals to lose weight because she felt pressure from society to do it. In truth, she really didn’t have a great deal of motivation to eat better or to lose weight. And as a result, she wasn’t making much progress. Once I told her, she had a choice to listen to society or not — to lose weight or be happy where she was, she found a freedom she had never had before. It was very empowering for her.

4 — Prepare for the Roadblocks and Detours in Advance

Once you’ve gotten really clear on what you want and why you want it, be honest with yourself about the “gotchas” you may encounter on your journey. This is not to be confused with focusing on what “could” go wrong, but looking at where the speed bumps may surface before they do. (Like being prepared for snow and cold before it hits.)

What beliefs will you likely encounter on your road to your Next-level? (I’ve never done it before, I’ve tried so many times and failed, no one believes in me…)

What are the obstacles that stopped you before and what can you do differently this time?

How will it feel to do it, to reach it, to complete it?

Use your imagination to help you visualize what you want to happen.

It’s like creating a movie in your head, see it happening the way you want it to.

When I started my business, I wound up in a lot of debt and I wanted to pay it off.

Every morning after I finished my meditation, I visualized myself sitting at my computer and visualized what it felt like to pay off the credit cards. I did this for every bill I owed. One day I paid off a loan and it displayed confetti on my computer screen! That was a fun manifestation of what I had been visualizing all along. It helped me to stay focused being able to do it, having fun and feeling good in the process!

5 — Take Time Daily to Shift Your Focus

(Once the scary guy in the movie is dead, you can take a step forward knowing you are safe.)
Your imagination is a powerful factor in what you will and will not do whether positive or negative.

Shifting perspective and stepping outside your comfort zone is easier when you apply “can do” juice every day.

You get what you focus on — whether you want it or not. If you are a chronic worrier, every now and then you’ll win the lottery of what you worry about (paraphrased from Gay Hendricks). On the flip side, the more energy you put into focusing on what you want — the quicker you’ll see more of things you want, things to appreciate and be grateful for.

So many people worry about money…all the time. Their thoughts are stuck in, “Not enough money, lack of money, I can’t afford it, or how will I pay for this?” Every month the monologue is the same, “never enough” because they never expect to have enough. But money is only the exchange of energy. By shifting your mindset away from your fears, you’ll be able to see a different world.

Gaining a deeper understanding into how your mind, thoughts and emotions influence you, will help you break free to Be, Do or Have whatever you desire. The results are powerful, impressive and inspirational.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that keep someone from pushing out of their comfort zone?

The words: I can’t, I’ll try, I have to. These words suck the life out of your intention and motivation.

The belief that just because you haven’t done it before, you don’t know what to do, and won’t be successful.

The beliefs instilled through childhood from parents, grandparents, teachers all of those messages that you absorbed early in life, that are still driving you…until you make the choice that it’s time for things to change.
When you see that: You’re so tired of: no money, or being overweight, or working for someone else, or being alone, or being in an abusive relationship…then your perspective can change.

There is a well-known quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt that says, “Do something that scares you every day”. What exactly does this mean to you? Is there inherent value in doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, even if it does not relate to personal or professional growth? For example, if one is uncomfortable about walking alone at night should they purposely push themselves to do it often for the sake of going beyond their comfort zone? Can you please explain what you mean?

Creating the courage to “Step Up and Get out of your comfort zone” is like building a muscle; it comes from repetition. Doing something daily, is a great way to get your “reps” in and become more comfortable being uncomfortable.

When I first started my business, I learned to be an author, then I learned to be a speaker, then I learned how to market my books, then how to get booked as a speaker, then how to prepare a speaker contract, I learned new software programs…every day was something new to learn.

The more you take those steps forward, the more conditioned you’ll be to stepping up. It won’t always be easy, but this makes sense to me, “Successful people are comfortable being uncomfortable.” That’s the conditioning you want to acquire. For me personally, stepping out of my comfort zone has an intentional purpose not just jumping off the Olympic high dive if I had no reason to conquer that fear.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

To help people understand that there really are NO Limits. To live a limitless, fulfilling life. This is the basis of life itself, you can Do, Be or Have anything you want. And we are here to realize the gifts of continuous growth and to share what we learn with others. By removing the limiting beliefs (and fears) that people are attached to, it would shift everything on this planet we live on in an incredibly positive way.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

I’d love to have lunch with Maria Shriver. I’ve followed her journey for years. She brings a great deal of positivity to her life and is committed to supporting women. I love studying people and learning how they got through the tough times. Coming from a political family (with plenty of drama), to Arnold, to very public betrayal…to leading an amazing California women’s conference — she is a strong woman I’d love to meet.

How can our readers follow you online?

Website: LoriHansonInternational.com (Complete the Voice Confidence Quiz)
Twitter: LoriHansonSpkr
Instagram: lorithesuccesswhisperer

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.