Author Tamira Luc On Becoming Free From The Fear Of Failure
An Interview With Savio P. Clemente
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You have to shift your mindset and put in the work to know what makes you complete. Once you have that roadmap, success will come to you.
Otherwise, yes, failure is everywhere. You can feel like a failure before you get out of bed in the morning because you have not attained some unreachable goal. But when you are clear on your purpose and centered on that, I think you can live a more peaceful and ultimately prosperous life.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Tamira “Tam” Luc.
Tam is the Amazon Best Selling Author of numerous books, including “A Woman’s Side Hustle”, “There’s Somebody In My Room,” and “The Right End Of The Chase.” As the founder of Women with Vision International, she “helps women SOAR.” She’s a wife, mother, author, speaker, blogger, and world traveler. Her passion is writing, so she focuses on helping women create a balanced family and work life as an entrepreneur giving them the tools to be their best selves and create a lifestyle by design.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Yes, I am a Midwest girl who grew up with two wonderful parents who taught me the art of the “hustle.” My parents were the epitome of hardworking Americans and instilled those values in me.
Now I teach others how to move beyond the confines of a 9 to 5 job to living out their passions.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
In my whole career, I think the most interesting thing that happened to me was actually quite tragic. My mom passed away in 2016, and it was a catalyst that forced me to dig deeper into what I wanted in life.
Her death and the subsequent grief forced me to reevaluate who I was in this world, who I was as a woman, and who I would be for the rest of my time on earth when I started diving in — because I was spinning out of control, and I needed to regain my mind, my health, and my strength. I was dealing with grief and was on a downward trajectory in every area. Financially, physically, and mentally I was tapped out.
I began working with coaches and soon began writing my book “A Woman’s Side Hustle.” which was inspired by my mom’s fortitude. The process helped bring out my true calling to become an author and to become a publisher. The truth is, if I did not have a reason to dig, I probably would not have.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Sticktoitiveness, Belief in yourself, Believing you are meant for greatness.
It would be best if you believed you were on this earth for something great otherwise, you will not accomplish anything. However, you will once you have the mentality to make a difference. Gamechangers and successful leaders do not give up once they have an idea; it gnaws at them until they complete their destiny.
My dad told me the way to start a business is to find and fill a need. He said, “Do what you know and draw on your experiences in life.” He was right, and I understand that every need supplies. And, some years ago, I heard someone say that “the message is in the mess.”
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure.
Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure? Why is failure so frightening to us?
Failure feels like death.
We all have a tape running in our heads from our experiences. Some of us are on a loop that says, “I am just no good, or I am not good enough.”
The most significant gift my mom gave me was freedom from caring what other people thought. She was the only person I wanted to make proud, and now since her passing, I live with utter abandon, and I let go of caring what people think.
I was afraid to be successful because I thought people wouldn’t love me. I thought, how will I get a husband if I am successful because men don’t like strong women? Can you believe that? This defeatist attitude is unsuitable for your business, health, or mental state.
I encourage people to face their fears and dance through failures.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
The downside is that you die without accomplishing what you were set on earth to do.
The cemetery is full of dead dreams and wishes. It takes a certain kind of leader to stand up when others give up.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the free of failure can help improve our lives?
You have to get rid of that warped record in your head -the one recording that reminds you of all of the past pitfalls. Once you release yourself from those old scripts, then you can write a new chapter in your life.
You will sleep better, and I think you will be more attractive because you will be happier and your business will improve.
I go into life now like my dog Hercules who is happy about everything.
He is excited to go for a walk, catch a ball, or meet new people. Every little moment he is full of excitement for him, and that is how I want to live.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
In 2002 I jumped into the realty and house-flipping craze. I went from no money to starting a hair salon and buying five properties in less than a year. I was rolling. In less than 365 days, I amassed 500k!
Then came the housing bubble, and I lost everything. I was in a pit so deep, and I was ashamed of myself. Finally, I was in a failure tailspin where I lost my marriage, became homeless, and searched for myself.
It was a terrible time, but in my deepest despair, I found my voice and began to reimagine my life through writing. After winning several awards and publishing best-selling books, I think the pain was all worth it.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
I learned that — “failure is feedback.”
After the bottom fell out of my housing business, I worked with a man who lost 50 million in the housing crisis when the LA market went belly up. Here I was losing $500,000, and here he lost 100 times my loss, and he shook it off and kept going. Yes, he had moments, but it did not keep him from forging forward.
Watching his tenacity helped me shake out of my depression and feelings of failure.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Step 1: I realized I wasn’t going to die. You have to get REAL with your situation.
During my housing crisis meltdown, I had to take stock of my life and rebuild from the ground up. By watching others, I realized I could start again and be better than I was before.
Step 2: Fear and excitement feel very similar, So you must learn how to use that feeling to push you forward.
Sometimes I was afraid to even look at the housing catastrophe that destroyed my fairytale life. The pain was overwhelming, but instead of turning to alcohol or drugs, I turned to recovering my business and reimagining my life.
Step 3: Look at similar or larger failures. Compare your situation to theirs and see how they rebounded.
Every successful person has a story of failure. Unfortunately, we only read about the glitz and glamor, but there are plenty of potholes along the way. For example, I researched the man who lost 50 million dollars in real estate. I studied him and others who lost big during this time, encouraging me to get up and start over. If they could do it, so could I.
Step 4: Research successful people and glean the clues to how they overcame fear. Some use drugs and alcohol to mask anxiety, but the uber-successful people with longevity are focused and do not care what people say about them. Whether Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, or politicians who are front-page fodder, learn from how they stay clear on their purpose. Those who do not waver from their focus or mission
Step 5: Expect things to go well for you. Sometimes there are cultural differences where people of color expect things to go poorly. It seems the world’s systems are against us, but in this day and age, it is time to reimagine our lives. In this
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
I think success is a mindset. You have to determine what is success for you. Is it a better home life with a family dinner every night? If that makes you happy, then you are successful.
You have to shift your mindset and put in the work to know what makes you complete. Once you have that roadmap, success will come to you.
Otherwise, yes, failure is everywhere. You can feel like a failure before you get out of bed in the morning because you have not attained some unreachable goal. But when you are clear on your purpose and centered on that, I think you can live a more peaceful and ultimately prosperous life.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
My Women Who Boss up series comes from knowing what women can do, which is why I focus on women. I feel that if you focus on women, women naturally tend to focus on others. We are the caretakers, the wives, mothers, and PTA leaders who effect change every day. So, if you just focus on women, you get the greatest good and the greatest bang for your buck.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them :-)
Oprah Winfrey, for sure.
I had the pleasure of taking her call some years ago when I worked in a government office in Beverly Hills. Yes, I froze when I heard her voice. That moment solidified the point that I have to talk to her someday. I look up to her quite a bit.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Log on to https://www.delucslife.com/ or Follow me on FB, IG, or twitter @delucslife
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente coaches cancer survivors to overcome the confusion and gain the clarity needed to get busy living in mind, body, and spirit. He inspires health and wellness seekers to find meaning in the “why” and to cultivate resilience in their mindset. Savio is a Board Certified wellness coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), stage 3 cancer survivor, podcaster, writer, and founder of The Human Resolve LLC.
Savio pens a weekly newsletter at thehumanresolve.com where he delves into secrets from living smarter to feeding your “three brains” — head 🧠, heart 💓, and gut 🤰 — in hopes of connecting the dots to those sticky parts in our nature that matter.
He has been featured on Fox News, and has collaborated with Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, Food Network, WW, and Bloomberg. His mission is to offer clients, listeners, and viewers alike tangible takeaways in living a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle.
Savio lives in the suburbs of Westchester County, New York and continues to follow his boundless curiosity. He hopes to one day live out a childhood fantasy and explore outer space.
