Beating Burnout: Lynn Zakeri Of Lynn Zakeri LCSW Clinical Services On The 5 Things You Should Do If You Are Experiencing Work Burnout

Complete the Stress Cycle. One thing that I have found really resonates with my clients is the need to complete the stress cycle. That there is something you can do to “cure” burnout can feel relieving. Taken from the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, I remember reading that for some people it is simply a good cry. That helped me! I thought, oh, I can certainly do that. Of course there is a time and place, but then I take my deep breath, give myself some compassion and strong self-talk, and keep going.

It is so much more than just relaxing. It’s about doing something that works for you to let your nervous system finish what got started. Other strategies the authors highlight include movement (even a [brisk] walk), laughter, deep breathing, creative expression, and connecting with someone you trust. The point is not that one magic strategy works for everyone, but that you find your own release valve. Completing the cycle doesn’t erase the stressor, but it resets your body so you can face it without feeling stuck in overdrive.

Burnout has become an increasingly common experience in today’s demanding work culture. Long hours, high expectations, and the ever-blurring line between work and personal life have led many professionals to the brink of physical and emotional exhaustion. The good news? Burnout can be addressed, and even prevented, with the right strategies. In this interview series called “Beating Burnout: 5 Things You Should Do If You Are Experiencing Work Burnout,” we are talking to successful business leaders, HR leaders, and mental health leaders who can share insights from their experience about how we can “Beat Burnout.”.

As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lynn Zakeri, LCSW.

Lynn R. Zakeri, LCSW, is a Chicago-area therapist and practice owner known for clear, relational care that helps people feel better and function better. Recognized as the NASW-IL Social Worker of the Year in 2022, she works with a variety of clients, including high achievers, professionals, couples, parents, and students on both interpersonal and practical skills, and has been quoted in more than 100 articles and interviews. Additionally, as a mother, her sons’ perseverance in sports, from childhood through COVID and beyond, continues to shape how she talks about small steps, joy, teammates, consistency, and recovery as antidotes to burnout.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I grew up independent and a little rebellious, but I also wore the identity of good student and hard worker. That mix built a strong work ethic, which is a gift, and it is also where burnout can start. I learned early to perform, to please, and to push. Adulthood has been the work of keeping the gift and losing the grind. I still value responsibility and follow through. I also watch for the line where commitment becomes over-functioning.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

I worked full-time at a foster care agency while earning my MSW at night. Showing up for the kids, families, and even my co-workers, never felt like burnout. The pressure to perform for grades did! That contrast taught me something I use with clients now, that meaning matters. When the work is aligned with values, the load can feel heavy but still bearable. When it’s tied only to performance for its own sake, that same load quickly becomes draining. I remember I used to explain it that my work day had an end, and days off. Studying “enough” never ends!

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

I’ve been fortunate to have colleagues and mentors who showed me, often without saying it directly, that my voice and perspective mattered. Early on I placed them on a pedestal, assuming they had all the answers and I was only there to absorb. Over time, when they asked for my thoughts or leaned on me for perspective, or even simply validated my clinical practice and viewpoints, it shifted something. I began to trust my judgment not because someone praised me, but because I saw that my way of practicing was valued, alongside their input and ideas. My clients have been just as, if not more, influential. They continually remind me that therapy is a partnership, and the lessons I learn in the room with them shape me every day. And in my personal life, my husband has always believed in me and reminded me that I am capable. Being able to be vulnerable with him to see myself, through his eyes, has given me steady encouragement (and agency) when I’ve doubted myself.

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or takeaway did you learn from that?

I thought building a bigger business would fulfill me. I scaled, hired, and ran the whole machine while keeping a full caseload. The clinical work energized me. The business load burned me out. My mistake was assuming more size meant more impact. What I learned is that the right size for me protects the work I love and my life outside the office. I did not step back because clients were “too much.” I stepped back because I value doing this well for the long haul.

Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?

Two quotes in particular have resonated.

The first is from Nietzsche, repeated by Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning: “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” I definitely connect with this, but I also know it can trigger the perfectionist and people-pleasing side of me. If I (incorrectly) treat the “why” as pressure to perform (overfocusing too much on the “how”), I start to feel burned out. What I’ve learned is that a why does not have to be grand or flawless. It can be as simple as showing up steady, being kind, or ending the day knowing I did my best.

The second is by Steve Maraboli: “It is when I struggle that I strengthen. It is when challenged to my core that I learn the depth of who I am.” This captures why I don’t see struggle as something that can break me. Looking back, the hardest parts of my life have been the ones that shaped me most! I bet the same is true for most of us.

And then there is the daily line I actually use: “I am doing the best I can, and I am trusting the process, and things work out like they are supposed to.” This is what I tell myself every single day, and I credit that last grounding reminder to my Grandma Sissy.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

My clinical work is where most of my focus goes, and it continues to be an ongoing growth opportunity as I refine my knowledge and skills. In terms of more “macro” projects, I don’t say no to some public opportunities. I recently gave a live talk on resilience. I’m also creating short, practical videos (added bonus, I get to do it with my older son as my editor) which have turned into a creative, consistent activity I look forward to. I keep writing and saying yes to interviews, for my own clarities and processes and for my “why.” The goal is simple: help people regulate, rest, set kinder boundaries, and feel like themselves again, maybe even with some life satisfaction and joy.

And maybe one day I’ll pull together what I’ve learned into a book. I don’t have all the answers, but perhaps sharing the insights I’ve gathered might help someone else along the way.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each? Self-trust.

I’ve learned to trust my judgment and my ability to follow through. That doesn’t mean I never doubt myself, but it does mean I don’t get stuck in indecision. Self-trust is also knowing when to sit on something until clarity comes, when to say no, and when I need to ask for help.

Connections. We are not meant to do this alone. Sometimes it’s one person who steadies you, sometimes it’s a few encouragers or truth-tellers, and honestly it is often just someone who listens to us process. The point is that trusted connections and real support changes outcomes. Relationships are where we find perspective, safety, and even strength we can’t always generate on our own.

Having a why. I get up every day with a reason, but of course some days are way harder than others. Sometimes it’s as easy as “what am I looking forward to today” but honestly other times it is knowing that I will feel better when the day is over. A combination of showing up for my clients, setting an example for my kids, and remembering that it matters that I show up for myself! A why doesn’t have to be dramatic, highly impactful or pressuring. It can be whatever you need it to be that day to be helpful for yourself.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority on the topic of burnout?

My authority doesn’t come from anything formal, but more from living it, observing it, and helping people overcome it. I see burnout in entrepreneurs, caregivers, athletes, medical professionals, parents, students, and high achievers who keep pushing long after they’re drained. I’ve also felt it myself, especially when I scaled my practice and tried to do it all (therapist, business owner, parent, partner, etc)

Part of my authority also comes from speaking and creating on this topic. I’ve given talks on resilience, built a social media series on burnout, and written about it in interviews and articles. These outlets have pushed me to keep clarifying what helps, both for my clients and for myself.

What has grounded me most are the tools I’ve learned, used myself, and taught to clients: strategies like completing the stress cycle, building in rest as non-negotiable, and finding a why that doesn’t add pressure but helps you keep going. Therapy, in my view, is about making space for people to actually hear themselves and choose differently. I also connect to Viktor Frankl’s reminder that meaning matters -that we can choose how we carry the weight we’re given. Those ideas have shaped not just my practice, but the way I live and talk about burnout.

Ok, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about beating burnout. Let’s begin with a basic definition of terms so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define “Burnout”? Can you explain?

Burnout is the state of being emotionally and physically drained by carrying too much for too long. You may still be functioning on the outside, but inside you feel depleted. It doesn’t mean you are failing. It usually shows up in people who keep showing up — taking responsibility, pushing through, over-functioning, even when they are exhausted. Sometimes it looks quiet or even “normal” on the outside. At its core, burnout is when you keep going at the expense of yourself, until even rest no longer feels restorative and the strategies that used to work stop working. That is when your system demands a reset.

How would you define or describe the opposite of burnout?

The opposite of burnout isn’t boundless energy. It is feeling calm, happy, in control, and satisfied. For me, it’s when life feels like there is enough time for it all, instead of the constant pressure that there isn’t. It’s the relief of knowing the list will get done, or at least the important parts will, without the feelings of overwhelm, and having enough space left to live on your terms, in your way, with contentment, satisfaction, even joy.

This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to expressly articulate this. Some skeptics may argue that burnout is a minor annoyance and we should just “soldier on’’ and “grin and bear it.” Can you please share a few reasons why burnout can have long-term impacts on our individual health, as well as the health and productivity of our society?

This is a great question, because many people still see burnout as a lack of perserverance or an excuse. Until it happens to them! It is not an annoyance or something you can push through. Physically, it affects sleep, appetite, mood, even heart health. Emotionally, it can turn into anxiety, depression, or complete withdrawal.Relationships definitely suffer too when you are shorter tempered, stressed out, and irritable. And in the workplace, it lowers creativity, patience, and productivity. I often see high-powered clients who think that stopping, resting, or being self-compassionate will cost them their success, and for them, it is not an option to just “take a break” or “do less”. The truth is the opposite. Taking care of burnout is what lets you sustain success without losing yourself in the process.

From your experience, perspective, or research, what are the main causes of burnout?

Burnout usually comes from carrying too much for too long. The overwhelming sense of responsibility and even burdens. It is often the pressure to keep performing no matter what. It does not mean something is wrong with you- it means you are a person. Everyone is vulnerable-students, parents, professionals, partners, caregivers, leaders… and for many people, it doesn’t always look messy. On the outside you may look “normal,” while inside you feel drained and detached, or close to breaking down.

Perfectionism and people-pleasing fuel burnout too, when the bar is always set higher and nothing feels like enough. Technology and blurred boundaries add to it, with the expectation to be constantly available. And over-functioning can become almost addiction-like, where you can’t stop even when you are exhausted. All of these pieces combine into the same outcome: A level of overwhem, collapse or even emptiness that demands attention.

What can an individual do if they are feeling burned out by work? How does one reverse it? How can you “get your mojo back?” Can you please share your “5 Things You Should Do If You Are Experiencing Work Burnout?”.

1 . Complete the Stress Cycle

One thing that I have found really resonates with my clients is the need to complete the stress cycle. That there is something you can do to “cure” burnout can feel relieving. Taken from the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, I remember reading that for some people it is simply a good cry. That helped me! I thought, oh, I can certainly do that. Of course there is a time and place, but then I take my deep breath, give myself some compassion and strong self-talk, and keep going.

It is so much more than just relaxing. It’s about doing something that works for you to let your nervous system finish what got started. Other strategies the authors highlight include movement (even a [brisk] walk), laughter, deep breathing, creative expression, and connecting with someone you trust. The point is not that one magic strategy works for everyone, but that you find your own release valve. Completing the cycle doesn’t erase the stressor, but it resets your body so you can face it without feeling stuck in overdrive.

2 .Prioritize Rest and Sleep Sleep and rest are not optional when it comes to burnout. They are the first lever. If I am rested, I can think clearly, show up for my clients, and handle stress in a healthy way. I keep a consistent early bedtime and wake-up routine because I know what happens when I don’t.

Many of my clients resist rest because they believe it will cost them their success and that slowing down means falling behind. In reality, the opposite is true. Protecting rest makes your work and your life sustainable. Go to bed, and wake up clear headed!

Rest also doesn’t always mean sleeping in. It can mean stepping back before you crash, building in breaks, or protecting your evenings. I often suggest simple steps: shut down screens earlier, keep bedtime steady, or actually schedule downtime (or even meal time!) like you would a meeting. Rest is not a weakness. It’s what allows you to keep going without burning out.

3 .Boundaries and Saying No. Boundaries are one of the hardest but most important tools for reversing burnout. For me, boundaries have been a work in progress for 20 years. On the outside, mine look pretty healthy. On the inside, I still have to fight the pull to over-function get it all done when I am not even sure what is “it all”. Boundaries are not about being selfish or rigid (and that is some messed up self-talk, btw!). They are about protecting your energy so you can do the work you actually value. And quieting those “shoulds” into “needs” or even “wants”.

For clients, I might frame it this way: every yes is also a no. If you say yes to the late-night emails, you’re saying no to rest. If you say yes to every request at work, you’re saying no to the projects that really matter. Learning to pause before responding, to check in with your own limits, and to tolerate the discomfort of letting someone down is all part of practicing healthy boundaries. Another strategy that is helpful is a list of “now” vs. “soon”. Prioritize so that everything is not an immediate pull, and it even does not not have to be a yes or no- you can delegate instead of defaulting to doing it all yourself.

4 . Identify burdens and realign with values/priorities Burnout often comes from carrying too many “have-tos” and the responsibilities feel endless, while the inner voices get loud: I can’t drop this. It’s on me. If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right. Those thoughts drive over-functioning, and before long, you are depleted.

I see this with clients who fear that if they slow down, they’ll “lose it all” or taint their reputation as capable. That fear-driven “why” keeps them stuck in the burnout cycle. Realigning starts with separating the “shoulds” from the “needs” and even the “wants.” Then it’s about checking those lists against your actual values. What really matters? What happens if the “what ifs” come true? Often, the feared outcome is not as catastrophic or even realistic as the pace we’re pushing ourselves to keep.

The goal isn’t for me to reassure someone that “they’re doing fine.” That doesn’t stick. It’s for them to recognize, through processing, that they are doing a lot, that it is enough, and that they can make choices on their own terms. Naming the burdens, deciding which ones are truly theirs to carry, within their scope and boundaries, recognizing where they can offload, can break the burnout cycle.

5 . Talk to Someone/Find and Use your Trusted Supports

Burnout thrives in isolation! When you keep it all in your head, the weight and pressure grow heavier and the fears get louder. Talking to someone you trust — whether it’s a therapist, a mentor, a friend, or even a colleague — can cut through that spiral. You are not looking for reassurance or to be dismissed as “no big deal”.

It’s not just about venting. It’s about letting someone reflect back to you what’s real, what matters, and where you might be carrying more than you need to. Sometimes it’s a truth-teller who says, “You’re overfunctioning.” Part two of that is on you to listen and reset or ask for help or ideas. Sometimes it’s an encourager who reminds you of your strengths. And sometimes it is asking for and receiving help. Being able to delegate your tasks to people who want to help, or even to people who simply will help, can be a relief and a win.

I often remind clients that connection is a regulator. Talking out loud to someone safe, someone you value and respect, can spark insights you didn’t know you had. You are often smarter about yourself than you think, and saying the words out loud can lead to your own ah-ha solutions. You also get perspective you can’t always generate on your own. Burnout of course does not disappear just because you talk about it, but the act of sharing it out loud forces objectivity and opens potential options for change.

What can concerned friends, colleagues, and life partners do to help someone they care about reverse burnout?

Friends, colleagues, and partners can be lifelines when someone is burned out, but only if the support is thoughtful. Reassurance alone rarely helps. Telling someone to “relax” or “just don’t care so much” can feel dismissive and even increase the pressure. What does help is listening without judgment, reflecting back what you hear, and naming what you notice. Sometimes it’s your encourager who reminds you of your strengths, or maybe it’s your truth-teller who gently points out the overfunctioning, and sometimes it’s stepping in with concrete help, like taking something off their plate. Connection itself regulates. The key is to show up with presence, not fixes, so the person feels less alone and more able to reset.

What can employers do to help their staff reverse burnout?

Employers kow that a compromised employee is not a help to them! They need to start by looking at what’s really on people’s plates and working towards employees attainable strengths and not expecting them to excel at their weaknesses. Regular check-ins that ask, “What feels heavy? What’s getting in your way?” can make the difference. Asking their employees what they need help with, and then giving suggestions …and then asking if that feels helpful or doable is a great start!

The second piece is modeling boundaries with compassion. If an employee is already hard on themselves, “take it easy” can feel like failure. Instead, meet them where they are: affirm high standards, but make clear that rest, realistic timelines, and off-hours are respected. Demonstrate what works for you, articulate what you expect from them, and don’t have them reading between your lines that you want more than you said you did.

These ideas are wonderful, but sadly they are not yet commonplace. What strategies would you suggest to raise awareness about the importance of supporting the mental wellness of employees?

• Curiosity and Check-insMake time to be curious about your employees. Ask them what seems to be a low stress and a high stress. Ask them to tell you how to manage your expectations for their job demands. While they don’t have the final say, you will know where your starting point is. Take time to make connections. Not a vague wellness slogan, but a short check in about what is practically helpful.
• Building from Strengths Remember you know their strengths. How can you grow them? Ask them what is difficult and together come up with a plan to tackle that. An employee who can grow is a much more valuable way for you to spend your time and energy than being in a firing and hiring and training cycle.
• Acknowledging and Reinforcing Positively Acknowledging when it is push time and also your appreciation for that push “as a member of the team,” and that you are there for help and support, goes a long way. Reward and acknowledge positively accordingly. Just like we learned as parents, people respond so much better to positive reinforcement than negative.
• Consistency and Modeling from the Top Consistency matters- don’t be unpredictable. Model what works for you. Articulate what you expect from them, and don’t have them reading between your lines that you want more than you said you did.

What are a few of the most common mistakes you have seen people make when they try to reverse burnout in themselves or others? What can they do to avoid those mistakes?

One mistake is looking for a quick fix. A vacation, a bubble bath, or even a day off feels good in the moment but doesn’t undo burnout. Another mistake is powering through, treating burnout as something you can just “push past.” That approach often deepens the cycle, like an addiction, where you can’t stop even when exhausted. Reassurance alone doesn’t work either. Hearing “you’re fine” or “just take it easy” doesn’t land if the person hasn’t found their own inner belief or values alignment. I also see people confuse resilience with simply tolerating more, as if the solution is to carry a bigger load instead of recalibrating.

The way forward is not dramatic but steady. Focus on the basics: consistent sleep, real boundaries, finishing the stress cycle in a way that works for you. Anchor your “why” without letting it become pressure. Check your “shoulds” against your actual needs and values. And most importantly, don’t do it alone. Talking it through with someone you trust, who validates, keeps you accountable and helps you see what you might not on your own.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

If I could inspire a movement, it would be about helping people name their strengths, recognize where they need help, and see their fears for what they are (aka not always objective or realistic). Burnout thrives when people assume they have to do it all, perfectly, and alone. The shift comes when you can trust what you’re good at, ask for support where you need it, and challenge the story that slowing down means failure. If more of us lived with that kind of self-trust and perspective, we would see less burnout and more sustainable satisfaction in both work and life. This is the work I do with clients every day: helping them realign what they carry, question the fears that drive them, and choose what truly matters.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

If I could have lunch with anyone, it would be Stephen Grosz, the author of The Examined Life. His writing has stayed with me because it reflects what I see every day in my work and reminds me of my purpose: That people need to be listened to in order to find their own clarity. Burnout, at its core, often happens when people stop hearing themselves, when their needs and limits get buried under pressure, perfectionism, or responsibility. Grosz’s reminder that listening is itself transformative speaks to my why. It’s the same in my own life- when I process with trusted supports, I often arrive at the clarity I couldn’t reach alone.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Website: www.lynnzakeri.com

TikTok: @lynnzakerilcsw

Instagram: @lynnzakerilcsw

Facebook: Lynn Zakeri, LCSW Clinical Services

LinkedIn: Lynn Zakeri, LCSW

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!