Becoming Stress-Proof: Elaine Proulx of ESP Wellness On How To Reduce Or Eliminate Stress From Your Work

An Interview With Savio Clemente

I truly believe the world will be a better place when we all start to be a little more selfish. Stick with me! One of my favorite quotes is by Howard Thurman and says, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When we define what’s most important to us and live in alignment with our highest values, we are operating at our highest frequency and can bring the greatest amount of good into the world. If we all spent a little less time worried about what everyone else was doing/thinking/saying and a little more time thinking about what we want out of life, I believe we’d all be a happier, which would lead to everyone around us being happier, too, and the positive effects would ripple throughout the world.

With all that’s going on in our country, in our economy, in the world, and on social media, it feels like so many of us are under a great deal of stress. We know that chronic stress can be as unhealthy as smoking a quarter of a pack a day. For many of us, our work, our livelihood, is a particular cause of stress. Of course, a bit of stress is just fine, but what are stress management strategies that leaders use to become “Stress-Proof” at work? What are some great tweaks, hacks, and tips that help to reduce or even eliminate stress from work? As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Elaine Proulx.

Elaine Proulx is a former elementary school teacher turned wellness coach who helps overwhelmed, purpose-driven people find harmony between their desire to make a difference in the world and their need to nourish their own body, mind, and spirit so they can live well now and for decades to come without guilt. She helps her clients develop holistically healthy lifestyles through one-on-one and group coaching programs.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!

I started my work life as an elementary school teacher in low-income schools. I went into the field thinking I was going to change the education system and help all students receive an equitable education in the U.S. Over four years, I worked my bottom off to do everything I could for my students at the expense of my own health and well-being. Near the end of my fourth year of teaching, I was feeling completely burned and, at the same time, my dad got really sick. It was the first time I was faced with mortality so close to home and I realized that health doesn’t just happen to us, it’s built over decades of small decisions. I was on a path I didn’t want to be on, so I decided to turn things around for myself as I went into my fifth (and final) year of teaching, and through that work, I decided I wanted to help others do the same.

What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?

You don’t ever have to have it “all” figured out and just because you choose one thing now doesn’t mean you’re locked into that forever. The time you have to work is long and you have plenty of time to work and explore a bunch of different things if you want. And yet life is short, so why waste it doing anything that causes you misery? Just choose something you’re passionate about now and do it as long as it serves you and others, and then move on to the next thing.

None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?

My parents have given me so much support throughout my life and I wouldn’t have accomplished all I have without their support, but just as important have been the cheerleaders along the way who have gotten me through small moments. Something that has always been a challenge for me is saying no to people or opportunities that aren’t aligned with my passions and goals, but I’ve learned that’s the best way I can protect my energize so I can continue to serve the world and maximize my impact.

When I decided to leave teaching, I was so worried my coworkers and principal would be mad or feel like I was letting them down, but when I finally told them, they had nothing but encouraging words and well wishes for my next step. When I had to say no to work and volunteer opportunities that didn’t light me up, I worried I would be judged for being selfish, but people just wished me well and moved on. When I decided to move back to Colorado (where I’m originally from) from Houston (where I’ve lived the last seven years) and had to step away from volunteer work and my part-time job, everyone was thrilled for me (and a little jealous!) that I was making this move. I’m so grateful to everyone who has encouraged me and allowed me to step into this highest version of myself.

When you stay aligned with what makes you come alive, you shine light into the world and everyone feels it.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?

I’m currently working towards my Reiki Master certification. I have done a lot of work with clients on their physical and mental health, but I have always known that the energetic body is just as important to nurture. I am excited to bring this energetic healing modality into my practice to support my clients in building sustainable, holistically healthy lifestyles.

Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about stress. How would you define stress?

Stress is any kind of dis-ease in the mind or body caused by uncomfortable or challenging situations.

In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. So what has led to this chronic stress? Why are so many of us always stressed out?

I believe that so many people are stressed out because they’re working towards false markers of success — things like how much money they make, how high up the ranks they climb, how many hours a day they work, how big their house is, how much stuff they have, how much they struggle and sacrifice — that don’t actually contribute to a sense of fulfillment and purpose in most people’s lives. We have to stop measuring ourselves against society’s yardstick because it is so warped.

What are some of the physical manifestations of being under a lot of stress? How does the human body react to stress?

Our minds and our bodies are inextricably linked, so stress impacts every single system in the human body, and it manifests differently in everyone. Symptoms can be: physical, such as headaches, difficulty focusing, aches and pains, muscle tension, and a weakened immune system; mental, such as ruminating and depression; and behavioral, such as overeating or substance use and abuse. In small doses, stress can be helpful, but it becomes destructive when we don’t get periods of relief from it.

Is stress necessarily a bad thing? Can stress ever be good for us?

Stress is a response that humans have developed over time to respond to threatening situations. Tens of thousands of years ago, that might have looked like running away from a tiger so you wouldn’t get eaten. Today, our lives aren’t threatened very often (if ever), so it’s probably more like facing a big deadline for a work project or a messy house. Stress can be a means to motivate us to perform in certain situations and help us focus or concentrate to meet that deadline or clean the house.

Is there a difference between being in a short term stressful situation versus an ongoing stress? Are there long-term ramifications to living in a constant state of stress?

Yes, short-term stress can be useful and help us power through a stressful situation. Long-term (or chronic) stress, on the other hand, can cause a lot of harm to our minds and bodies. For example, when I’m stressed, my neck and shoulders tighten up. Due to my years as a schoolteacher who lacked the awareness and tools to manage the stress, I’m still dealing with chronic pain in my neck, upper back, and shoulders.

Another example could be in the digestive system. When your body experiences stress, it sends its resources to the extremities and brain so you can be alert and fight off the threat. That means it takes away resources from other body parts, like the stomach and intestines. Staying in a stress state can lead to continuous symptoms such as nausea, constipation, diarrhea, and irritable bowel syndrome. This is why it’s important to manage stress — not just because it sucks to be stressed daily, but also because it can have very real consequences to your long-term health if it goes unchecked.

Is it even possible to eliminate stress?

I would argue that, yes, for some people, it is possible to eliminate certain stressors, but I don’t think a conversation around eliminating stress is useful because most people are experiencing stress in areas of their life that can’t be eliminated (e.g., doing their job, raising their family, or making a big life change). Instead, we need to shift the public conversation to one about how people can better equip themselves to manage stress.

In your opinion, is this something that we should be raising more awareness about, or is it a relatively small issue? Please explain what you mean.

People know they’re stressed, and they know it’s a problem. We need to raise awareness about the possibility that stress can be mitigated and about the importance of implementing simple lifestyle tools that help them experience stress less destructively.

Let’s talk about stress at work. Numerous studies show that job stress is the major source of stress for American adults and that it has escalated progressively over the past few decades. For you personally, if you are feeling that overall, work is going well, do you feel calm and peaceful, or is there always an underlying feeling of stress? Can you explain what you mean?

As a business owner, there is almost always some underlying stress for me because the work is never done and there is always another deadline waiting just around the corner. However, the wins and accomplishments in my work far outweigh the challenges, and I have a lot of tools at my disposal to help me mitigate stress so it doesn’t become harmful. This makes the stress both manageable and worth it.

Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 stress management strategies that busy leaders can use to become “Stress-Proof” at Work?” Please share a story or example for each.

Everyone has a certain capacity for tolerating stress based on their own internal resources. Internal resources are the tools and capabilities of your body and mind to manage changes when your body is out of its natural state. Here’s how you build your internal resources.

1. Exercise — when you exercise, you put stress on your body. Consistent exercise over time increases your heart’s capacity to pump blood more efficiently, increases your lung capacity, and elevates your mood. Thus, when your body experiences stress, it doesn’t have to work as hard to pump blood and breathe because it already has an increased ability to do these things due to your exercise routine.
2. Eating well — as I already mentioned, when you get stressed, your digestive system slows down. The more ultra-processed food you put into your body, the harder your organs have to work (i.e., the more energy they require) to digest and filter out the chemicals and other harmful substances from those foods. This causes your body stress. When you eat whole, real foods, your body doesn’t have to work as hard, which frees up resources to manage stress from other sources.
3. Sleep — getting enough quality sleep is a critical component of your internal resources. During sleep, your body repairs and heals any issues that happened during the day and resupply energy to your cells for the next day, and your brain reorganizes and saves information for future use. When you have enough sleep, your body and brain have the capacity to take on the challenges of each day, and then they get to recover as you get a good night’s sleep. It’s so important to build good sleep habits when things are going well so your body and brain work well when stress arises.
4. Mindfulness — A thought leads to a certain emotion, emotion leads to action, reaction, or inaction, which creates a new circumstance, which triggers a new thought. When you are aware of your thoughts, you are in control of that whole cycle. The more you focus on the negative, ruminate on the past, and worry about the future, the more stress you experience. When you can focus on the present moment and maintain productive and empowering thoughts most (51%) of the time, you are more equipped to cope with stressful situations. No one is perfect and it’s impossible to eliminate all negative thoughts and stress, but you can build your capacity to manage negative and challenging thoughts as they arise.
5. Learn to say no — oftentimes, when we think about fixing things or making things better in our lives, we think we have to add more, but sometimes it’s about taking away. Practice saying no to anything that does not serve you (because when it doesn’t serve you, you won’t do it well and it won’t end up serving anyone else, either — see more about selfishness below!).

It’s so simple, but it’s not easy. There’s never going to be a quick fix, but for high-performing people, a quick fix wouldn’t work anyways because there will almost always be one source of stress or another. The most effective way to manage stress is to build healthy lifestyle practices that give your mind and body the capacity to manage stress with minimal impact to the other areas of your body and life.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?

I love the podcast Normal Gossip for putting my brain on the shelf and Chasing Life for stories about life and the world that inspire possibility in the face of challenge. The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz is always a quick read and great reminder to simplify your principles for living abundantly and meaningfully.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I truly believe the world will be a better place when we all start to be a little more selfish. Stick with me! One of my favorite quotes is by Howard Thurman and says, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When we define what’s most important to us and live in alignment with our highest values, we are operating at our highest frequency and can bring the greatest amount of good into the world. If we all spent a little less time worried about what everyone else was doing/thinking/saying and a little more time thinking about what we want out of life, I believe we’d all be a happier, which would lead to everyone around us being happier, too, and the positive effects would ripple throughout the world.

What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?

I have an amazing guide I’m so excited to share, Life in Alignment: A Practical Guide to Living Your Values. It’s for people who are feeling stressed and discontent in their life and want to get clear on what is most important to them so they know where to put their time and energy for optimal well-being and fulfillment moving forward. You can also find me on my website www.espwellness.co.

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente, TEDx speaker and Stage 3 cancer survivor, infuses transformative insights into every article. His journey battling cancer fuels a mission to empower survivors and industry leaders towards living a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle. As a Board-Certified Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), Savio guides readers to embrace self-discovery and rewrite narratives by loving their inner stranger, as outlined in his acclaimed TEDx talk: “7 Minutes to Wellness: How to Love Your Inner Stranger.” From his best-selling book to his impactful work as a media journalist covering resilience and wellness trends with notable celebrities and TV personalities, Savio’s words touch countless lives. His philosophy, “to know thyself is to heal thyself,” resonates in every piece.