Becoming Stress-Proof: Rosa Talavera-Kaufman of zant On How To Reduce Or Eliminate Stress From Your Parenting & Relationship With Your Children
An Interview With Savio Clemente
Knowing you’re not alone is the most important thing. Caring for children is not an easy task, and we should not take it for granted. Stress management is crucial if you are experiencing chronic or ongoing stress as a parent. To care for your children effectively, you will need support to navigate parenting challenges. Support is critical to learning the coping mechanisms and strategies to handle these challenges. Making time for self-care is also essential. Engage in relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation, seek counseling or therapy, or join a parenting group for support. Whenever you can, go out with friends, learn a hobby, or simply take a bubble bath.
With all that’s going on in our country, our economy, the world, and on social media, it feels like so many of us are under a great deal of stress. Parenting, in particular, can be stress-inducing. We know chronic stress can be as unhealthy as smoking a quarter of a pack a day. It is also challenging to be a present parent when your relationship is under stress. What are stress management strategies that parents use to become “Stress-Proof? What are some great tweaks, hacks, and tips that help reduce or even eliminate stress? In this interview series, we are talking to authors, parenting experts, business and civic leaders, and mental health experts who can share their strategies for reducing or eliminating stress. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Rosa Talavera-Kaufman.
Rosa Talavera-Kaufman is a certified life coach bilingual in Spanish and English. She creates a compassionate environment for her clients, allowing them to discover their life’s purpose, which unlocks fulfillment and joy. Rosa supports those seeking a change, enhanced self-knowledge, or professional and personal growth create a happy and fulfilling life.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!
Upon graduating from college in Puerto Rico, I moved to Florida to work with the state’s juvenile court system as a Clinical Social Worker. I served in that role for approximately five years before moving to Denver, Colorado. My next seven years were spent raising a family and freelancing as a Spanish translator and interpreter. My longtime passion for writing became more possible once my sons became more independent. Thus, I returned to school to earn a Bachelor’s degree in journalism. I then joined a publishing company that created Spanish-language content for the healthcare industry. I earned a Master’s degree in Communications while there and created a blog. With a blog, I was able to express myself creatively in areas of advice, fashion, and travel that I am passionate about. I realized how much I missed working in mental health after writing advice posts. After my employment with the health publishing company ended, I became a certified Life Coach, meditation facilitator, and Tarot card reader. My current focus is on getting certified as a Holistic Life Coach and Chakra Healer. As far as mental health is concerned, I believe in combining traditional modalities with holistic approaches or using them both separately. So here I am, living life to the fullest and helping others do the same.
What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?
How do I begin? The challenges I’ve faced, and the roadblocks I’ve encountered have led me to true happiness and growth. As a result of those challenges, I have been able to focus on the things that are most important to me. The advice I would give my younger self is always to cultivate gratitude. You can shift negative perspectives when you are mindful of your big or small blessings. Be patient and embrace your mistakes and flaws since they can provide opportunities for self-discovery and growth. Don’t ignore your intuition. You can rely on it for guidance. Last but not least, embrace change. Sometimes, a higher power knows what’s best for you. Always look for opportunities to learn or excel. Stay true to yourself and be authentic.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?
As a child, my mother played a supportive role in my life. She made many sacrifices to ensure my siblings and I could thrive. She was an inspiring source of wisdom and advice. She hadn’t had a job until I expressed my interest in a college degree. Thanks to her financial assistance, I earned my first degree, opening up a world of opportunities for me. She largely influences my life today.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
One project I have recently taken on is working with zant to simplify my practice management. What’s great is that it will help save me time on administrative tasks and allow me to focus primarily on working with my clients. If you’d like to book a session with me via zant, click here to download and search ‘Rosa’ to find me.
Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about stress. How would you define stress?
Stress is a physiological and psychological reaction to difficult circumstances. It happens when changes threaten our physical or emotional well-being. It’s no secret that stress can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional well-being, regardless of whether it’s real or imagined. Anxiety disorders and depression can occur as a result of stress. Additionally, chronic stress can lead to more serious conditions such as cardiovascular disease and weakened immunity if not treated.
In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. So what has led to this chronic stress?
Why are so many of us always stressed out?
Everyone experiences stress differently depending on their circumstances. Multiple factors can contribute to stress rather than just one. I believe that stress is caused by the inability to cope with challenging situations and the inability to adjust and embrace change.
Change is inevitable, and if one does not possess the proper skills to manage it, it can be stressful. We are susceptible to internal triggers when we experience sudden or unexpected changes in our external circumstances, especially when those changes are perceived as threatful or out of our control. When individuals lack coping mechanisms to manage relational conflict, health concerns, financial pressures, or life imbalances, they can feel physically and mentally overwhelmed.
What are some of the physical manifestations of being under a lot of stress? How does the human body react to stress?
Stress can cause different reactions in the human body. In addition to fatigue and exhaustion, a person may have difficulty sleeping, digestive problems, such as stomach pains or a lack of appetite, muscle tension and pain, and respiratory problems during anxious periods, such as rapid breathing or hyperventilating.
As a result of chronic stress, individuals may experience high blood pressure, chest pains, frequent headaches, as well as a weakened immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. Heart disease and stroke may be increased by it.
Is stress necessarily a bad thing? Can stress ever be good for us?
It is not necessarily a bad thing to be stressed when faced with challenging situations. It can be beneficial if it motivates individuals to adapt to change, take appropriate actions, or perform well while under pressure. Understanding the difference between chronic stress and moderate stress is crucial, however. Moderate stress may offer a greater opportunity for growth. However, your overall health and quality of life can be negatively affected by excessive stress that has not been appropriately managed.
Stressful situations in my life have helped me identify underlying issues and triggers. By recognizing the symptoms and managing them properly, I’ve achieved positive lasting change.
Is there a difference between being in a short-term stressful situation versus an ongoing stress? Are there long-term ramifications to living in a constant state of stress?
A short-term stress situation differs from an ongoing one by its duration, intensity, and effect on a person’s overall health. Short-term stress is situational, short in duration, and less intense, and it can be appropriately managed to achieve positive results. The effects of ongoing stress can be greater, and they can be overwhelming. Unresolved childhood issues or traumas could be the cause of chronic, ongoing stress. As a result, people are more likely to experience persistent anxiety, relationship or health problems, as well as generally lower quality of life. Managing situations and emotions is crucial to resolving long-term or short-term stress effectively.
Let’s now focus more on the stress of parenting. This feels intuitive, but it is helpful to spell it out in order to address it. Can you help articulate why being a parent can be so stressful?
Parenting can be stressful, as I know from experience. The parent’s responsible for looking after their child’s well-being while managing their own. Their primary responsibility is to provide for their children’s physical, emotional, and developmental needs. When raising children, many parents are drained of energy and physically and emotionally exhausted. Circumstances beyond their control, such as financial difficulty, may overwhelm them. As a result, they may not be able to provide their children with the high quality of life they desire. As a parent, you may feel inadequate, guilty, and self-doubt when dealing with a difficult child. Lack of support and social pressures also contribute to parental stress. Societal and family pressures to meet certain expectations or standards can also have the same impact. Parents with work responsibilities may have difficulty maintaining a work-life balance. Trying to balance self-care and personal life outside the parental role while providing for their children can be challenging. Parents may find it difficult to find time for self-care after caring for their children. A parent may burn out, become frustrated and irritable, become isolationist, or suffer from emotional distress as a result of this.
Can you help spell out some of the problems that come with being a stressed parent?
There are several problems that parents can experience due to stress:
They may find it difficult to meet the child’s needs calmly and efficiently.
Inconsistencies in discipline, conflicts, or further breakdowns can result from communication barriers.
Parent-child relationships can become strained.
There is an increased risk of abuse or neglect when parents feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or unsupported.
Their negative behavior patterns could be passed on to their children.
Emotional or psychological harm to the child.
Mental and physical health problems are more likely to occur in addition to burnout, exhaustion, and self-neglect.
Their relationship with their partner may be affected by ongoing tension. Stress can strain relationships between parents when one or both are exhausted, overwhelmed, or frustrated. Opposing parenting styles can also aggravate tensions.
Family dynamics are disrupted, leading to chaos at home.
Can you share with our readers your “5 stress management strategies that parents can use to remove some of the stress of parenting?”
1. Knowing you’re not alone is the most important thing. Caring for children is not an easy task, and we should not take it for granted. Stress management is crucial if you are experiencing chronic or ongoing stress as a parent. To care for your children effectively, you will need support to navigate parenting challenges. Support is critical to learning the coping mechanisms and strategies to handle these challenges. Making time for self-care is also essential. Engage in relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation, seek counseling or therapy, or join a parenting group for support. Whenever you can, go out with friends, learn a hobby, or simply take a bubble bath.
2. Promote open communication. Maintaining positive relationships with your family requires effective communication. Let others express their feelings, emotions, and thoughts without overreacting, being critical, or judging them. Provide a neutral environment that encourages self-expression. Children simply want to be heard, understood, and validated. Often, children act out to gain attention or when their needs aren’t met. Listen to your child. Identify why certain behaviors are discouraged and negatively impact others.
3. Ensure you and your children have clear boundaries and realistic expectations. This is a great way to ensure that your children know what’s expected of them and that rules and consequences are communicated. It is important to set boundaries so that your children can make better choices and understand what their choices will lead to, reducing confrontation and strife and allowing you to spend time with them more happily.
I’m a boy mom. Boys, in my experience, have greater difficulties self-regulating their emotional states, and they are more resilient to motherly support. As a mother, I found it difficult to explain male challenges to my boys in a way they could understand. I didn’t help them because I gave them a woman’s perspective. Then, I realized I needed to turn to their father for support and focus on my role as a loving, protective, and compassionate mother. Creating a safe environment for self-expression also required setting boundaries for myself. As time passed, they felt more comfortable talking to me about sensitive topics.
4. Breathe deeply and remain calm. In the face of misbehaving children, allowing our emotions to take over is easy. When you stay calm, you can better comprehend the situation and deal with it appropriately. It is normal for young children to go through phases occasionally since they lack the emotional regulation skills to manage their emotions. If necessary, take a deep breath or walk away. When dealing with conflict or opposing viewpoints, be patient and empathic. Don’t react immediately if you are unsure of your feelings about a particular issue or conflict. Take time to navigate your emotions instead. I have often felt challenged by my children’s actions and beliefs. I have learned to respect their viewpoint by taking the time to understand their perspective and not reacting immediately.
5. Set a good example. Children learn from watching those around them. Your words, actions, and attitudes shape your child’s behavior and values. In childhood, parents create a narrative that most children follow into adulthood. Encourage your children to develop positive values and moral principles. By modeling positive behaviors such as respect, honesty, kindness, and responsibility, you provide your child with a roadmap for navigating life and relating to others. You can demonstrate how to handle conflict and problem-solve in the face of adversity by how you cope with challenges. It can show them that setbacks can lead to growth. It is essential to be a good role model for your children to develop their character, gain good values, and live a happy and fulfilling life.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?
I do! The late Wayne Dyer was one of my favorite authors. I’ve read all of Wayne’s books, and they’ve had a profound impact on my life. His lessons have enabled me to live a life full of joy and purpose. His publications offer valuable insights, advice, and strategies for living a meaningful life. As a result of reading his books “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” and “The Power of Intention,” I became the authentic version of myself.
My meditation practice and becoming a meditation facilitator have allowed me to cultivate calm, focus, and creativity through self-awareness.
As I read the book, “The Inner Work,” I have also been guided through a journey of self-awareness, where I have become aware of my beliefs and values that were not fitting my authentic self or holding me back.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
Creating a movement aimed at breaking down the sigmas related to mental health treatment would be my goal.
It is time to change negative attitudes toward people struggling with mental illness.
Many people are prevented from seeking the help they need because of sigmas. There is a fear of social exclusion, discrimination, and shame among most people. They fear that their illness will define them rather than who they are as individuals. They don’t want to be labeled psychos, to put it bluntly. Mental health stigma needs to be reduced to ensure those in need of treatment can get the support they need.
As part of my movement, I would advocate for:
Awareness and education. Educating others on the causes, symptoms, and treatment options that can promote better health.
Stereotypes need to be changed. Being compassionate, supportive, and respectful towards people living with mental illnesses.
The sharing of personal stories. Hearing about individuals like them gives one hope and courage to seek help.
The mental health system needs to take a more holistic approach. Holistic approaches can be more accessible, affordable, and stigma-free than traditional therapies.
Create affordable programs that promote access to treatment and develop additional resources and efforts to reduce stigma.
Organize a social media campaign that promotes support, understanding, and acceptance. Provide a safe place for dialog to aid them in learning to live a healthier, more fulfilling life.
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
Online, through my blog or website. They can visit www.rosatalavera.com for lifestyle content and www.talaverallc.com as well as my profile on the zant app for life coaching services and other resources. They can also follow my Facebook page @talaverallc Life Coaching, and Instagram account @talaverallc_life_coaching.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
It is also my pleasure to be given this opportunity.
About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente, TEDx speaker and Stage 3 cancer survivor, infuses transformative insights into every article. His journey battling cancer fuels a mission to empower survivors and industry leaders towards living a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle. As a Board-Certified Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), Savio guides readers to embrace self-discovery and rewrite narratives by loving their inner stranger, as outlined in his acclaimed TEDx talk: “7 Minutes to Wellness: How to Love Your Inner Stranger.” From his best-selling book to his impactful work as a media journalist covering resilience and wellness trends with notable celebrities and TV personalities, Savio’s words touch countless lives. His philosophy, “to know thyself is to heal thyself,” resonates in every piece.
