Blair Glencorse of Accountability Lab: 5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change

An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman

Be ready. We all think the worst won’t happen to us, but it can. Preparing for it fully might not be possible, but thinking about it is certainly worthwhile- so you can be mentally prepared to some degree if it happens. We are all going to face a dramatic loss or life change at some point so we need to work out how to put ourselves in the best position to heal from it. In my case, I bought good health insurance before all of this happened- and have never been more thankful.

The world seems to be reeling from one crisis to another. We’ve experienced a global pandemic, economic uncertainty, political and social turmoil. Then there are personal traumas that people are dealing with, such as the loss of a loved one, health issues, unemployment, divorce or the loss of a job.

Coping with change can be traumatic as it often affects every part of our lives.

How do you deal with loss or change in your life? What coping strategies can you use? Do you ignore them and just push through, or do you use specific techniques?

In this series called “5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change” we are interviewing successful people who were able to heal after a difficult life change such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, or other personal hardships. We are also talking to Wellness experts, Therapists, and Mental Health Professionals who can share lessons from their experience and research.

As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Blair Glencorse.

Blair Glencorse is the Founder and Executive Director of Accountability Lab- an organization that works across 13 countries to find creative ways to make governments more accountable to their citizens. He is also a Steering Committee Member of the Open Government Partnership; a member of the World Bank’s Expert Advisory Council on Citizen Engagement; and an Advisory Committee Member for the World Economic Forum.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

Sure! I grew up in the UK and have lived in Africa and South Asia but am now based in the Washington, DC area with my wife Nadia. Growing up I was always very interested in understanding why other places were different and how people understood their contexts- so I went off to teach in a school in Zimbabwe as soon as I was 18. That led me into a career in international development, through the World Bank, think-tanks and now with an organization I founded called Accountability Lab- which works around the world to make sure people in power are more accountable and responsible to citizens.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

My favorite quote these days is an oldie but a goodie: “laughter is the best medicine”. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that joyful people are healthier and I truly believe it- the more we can find humor in the setbacks we face, the more we are physically able to deal with them and the more bearable they seem to us at the time. It isn’t just laughter but also just finding the bright spots and the fun things that is important. With so much going wrong in the world I think it is really important that we look for the moments, people and activities that bring us joy.

You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.

That is kind but I think success is really a collective effort- so the 1st quality I’d highlight is the ability to surround yourself with good people. The best example I have we can talk about further in a minute- but I recently had to take some time off from running my organization for health reasons. We have an amazing senior management team who ran things seamlessly in my absence- and that has been incredible for me, personally and professionally.

Secondly, I think in our modern, social-media driven society, persistence is often not recognized enough as a key quality. We tend to see success as it is demonstrated in pictures or videos that are transient- but progress comes through doggedly sticking to your work and putting in the time to reach the goals you set for yourself. I don’t think you need to be the person with the best or most innovative ideas- you just need to be the one that is persistent enough to see them through to completion. One example from my work is the Integrity Icon campaign- which for several years seemed to be ahead of its time and didn’t get much traction- but is now watched by millions of people across 13 countries globally.

Third, and relatedly, I think adaptability is absolutely essential. If COVID-19 has shown us anything, it is the people and organizations that are most willing to be flexible, to learn from mistakes and to pivot their work that have been the most successful. One example, again from our efforts at Accountability Lab, is the Civic Action Teams we have been running- to counter mis and dis-information related to COVID-19. This wasn’t a central part of our work before the pandemic but we realized quickly that rumors and fake news around the virus were going to be a key accountability issue, particularly for remote communities. So we developed a program to address these challenges in local languages in these places.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Healing after Loss’. Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers about your dramatic loss or life change?

Sure- thank you for the opportunity. I’m 41 and have been healthy my entire life- but one evening in February this year I experienced a lot of pain so went to the Emergency Room. After a night of tests and scans I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, which was a huge shock. The doctors indicated that I needed to have my left kidney, adrenal gland and surrounding lymph nodes removed immediately- so that is what happened. It was a big operation, but it went well and they managed to remove the cancerous cells- and I have been recovering since. Subsequently I entered a 6-month clinical trial for some new immunotherapy drugs, and am now half-way through that trial.

What was the scariest part of that event? What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?

I think all of us that are young (or relatively young!) don’t think too hard about our mortality on a day-to-day basis. It is only when something serious happens that we are suddenly faced with it- and it can be a real shock. My diagnosis was scary because it took 3 or 4 days until I knew exactly how far the cancer had spread, and during that period I had no idea how ill I actually was. It was also during the height of a COVID-19 winter, so I was in the hospital for days at a time on my own without family or friends for support, which was really hard. I was only visiting DC at the time and I had bought comprehensive travelers insurance, but I was not sure if it would cover all the costs- which can be astronomical. So, it was a really challenging time, mentally as much as physically.

How did you react in the short term?

In the short-term I did three things that I suppose are relevant for anyone that is facing a crisis. First, I made sure everything was in order administratively, which can seem prosaic at a time of crisis, but is essential- I drew up a new will, a new living will (in case I was incapacitated), made sure my family had access to all my personal affairs etc, just in case. Second, I sought as much information as I possibly could about my condition- I ended up getting 5 different opinions about the best course of treatment both from within the US and abroad. Navigating a healthcare system is not easy for anyone (especially in the US!), but seeking out those with the best knowledge has to be a critical step to ensure you are fully informed about any decisions you might make. And third, I drew on my networks- which luckily for me are filled with the most incredible people. It can often be difficult for people in leadership positions to feel they can ask for help- but I realized at that point more than ever I needed support. So I asked for ideas, connections, advice and anything else I felt could help me navigate the crisis.

After the dust settled, what coping mechanisms did you use?

I realised after the operation that I needed a “team” of people to help see me through this. If you face a crisis your team might consist of different kinds of people but for a health crisis I think the combination of people I found makes sense. First, a significant other, of course. That could be a spouse but also a good friend. My wife has been incredible throughout all this, and it would have been very difficult to navigate without her. This is definitely the case emotionally but also mentally- during a health crisis it can be hard to internalize information being told to you, or to know what to ask at the time, and having someone there to help and follow-up is really helpful. Second, colleagues who can take over your responsibilities professionally so that is not a worry for a few weeks- that peace of mind is so key, especially if you are in a C suite position of one kind or another. Third, a group of doctors and nurses, of course, who have the expertise and the bedside manner you need to feel confident in the treatment you’ll receive. Fourth, a mental health professional who you can speak to about all of this and help you deal with some of the darker moments during the journey. And fifth, a masseuse who is professionally trained and really knows what they are doing- to help you take care of yourself and slowly support your physical recovery. I realised a while ago that we often think of massages as a luxury but if we can, integrating a massage into your wellness routine is a huge boost. I suppose people who are really prepared could map out a team of supporters like this ahead of time in case of crisis- or at least think about who might fulfil these kinds of roles.

Can you share with us how you were eventually able to heal and “let go” of the negative aspects of that event?

One challenge with cancer is that to some extent it is always with you- even if you are technically deemed “cancer free” it might always recur and that is at the back of your mind. The days before scans at the hospital are always filled with the kind of worry and anxiety I have never previously felt. But one big lesson this episode has taught me is to live in the moment. I heard that advice previously but had never quite understood, truly, what it meant. I think I am more able now to find joy in very small things that I took for granted before. The seemingly ordinary suddenly become really meaningful. I’ve also learned to let go- and not stress the small (or even the big things). An experience like this- and a real sense of your own mortality- definitely helps you to understand what matters and what does not.

Aside from letting go, what did you do to create an internal, emotional shift to feel better?

I have read a lot of books about how to live cancer free or how to prevent the recurrence of cancer- Anti Cancer Living is one of my favorites. It lays out 6 ways we can stay healthy, and I try and touch on all of them one way or another every day now. First, exercise, to keep physically fit. Second, decent sleep, to make sure we are rested properly. Third, emotional wellbeing, through meditation or yoga. Fourth, love and support through spending time with important people in your life. Fifth, diet- in particular I’ve tried to cut out all processed foods, sugar and sodium. And sixth- improving our personal environment- by getting rid of toxic substances in our home. Some of these are not possible every day, but aiming for them makes sense to me.

Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?

My wife, of course, and my family and friends, all of whom have bene incredibly supportive. But I’d also like to mention a friend of a friend who I was introduced to, who had the same condition as me, but two years previously- so he went through the same process and the same range of emotions. Talking to him regularly has been super helpful because he has helped me to understand when I might face bumps in the road and (given that he is now fully healthy) inspired me to move beyond this crisis.

Were you able to eventually reframe the consequences and turn it into a positive situation? Can you explain how you did that?

There is nothing fun about being diagnosed with cancer and not knowing how it is going to affect you or your family, or how and when you might get beyond it. It is terrifying. But I do think that an experience like that can lead to a shift in mindset and understandings that can actually improve happiness over time. There is plenty of literature that explains how people can be happier after a diagnosis of this sort- because they can appreciate life more, find some perspective, change their behaviors and spend their time differently. I’ve found all of these things and honestly now feel thankful for my diagnosis- not only because it allowed the doctors to catch the cancer relatively early but also because it has changed me in ways that I had hoped for but found impossible before. There is every chance I’ll live a longer and happier life because of all of this, and for that I am very grateful.

What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? Can you please explain with a story or example?

I knew before all of this that positivity, as I mentioned above, is important but this has definitely brought that idea hope for me. I have really tried to stay constantly positive and look on the bright side. That is sometimes difficult- and there are always dark moments- but overall it has really helped me pull through. I think it is a self-fulfilling circle- you think positively which helps support a sense of positive outcomes. It is easy during a crisis for the opposite to happen- bad thoughts reinforce bad thoughts and there is a downward spiral- and we have to do everything we can to prevent that from happening psychologically.

Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experiences and knowledge, what advice would you give others to help them get through a difficult life challenge? What are your “5 Things You Need To Heal After a Dramatic Loss Or Life Change? Please share a story or example for each.

I do not profess to be an expert in this in any way, and I feel for others have suffered far more- especially during COVID-19- than me. But there are a few additional lessons I’ve learned through all of this.

First, be ready. We all think the worst won’t happen us, but it can. Preparing for it fully might not be possible, but thinking about it is certainly worthwhile- so you can be mentally prepared to some degree if it happens. We are all going to face a dramatic loss or life change at some point so we need to work out how to put ourselves in the best position to heal from it. In my case, I bought good health insurance before all of this happened- and have never been more thankful.

Second, reach out to people. I’ve re-connected with so many people since all this happened to me, which has been one of the best outcomes of all of this. It has led me back to people that I would probably never have otherwise spoken to in quite the same way- and it has been fantastic. Too often we left relationships go- especially as we get older and have more and more responsibilities. But picking up the phone or occasionally sending a message to an old friend is absolutely worth it- you never know when their kind words or support will make you feel better.

Third, don’t judge. With something like cancer, people are often not sure how to react. The word itself has connotations that people can’t always compute or which they don’t know how to deal with. Give them the space to handle it their own way and try not to judge- it is hard to understand what you might be going through. I have some very close friends who were not as supportive as I thought they would be; and other more distant friends who have stepped up and gone beyond the call of duty. I’m grateful for both.

Fourth, know your rights. When it comes to navigating healthcare, there are many incentives at play and your health is just one of them. Making the right decisions requires research to make sure you are fully aware of how you might be affected and what it is that you are entitled to. Gather as much information as you can to make those decisions. In my case, I switched treatment from one hospital to another because I simply didn’t think I was getting the transparency I needed on the costs of treatment and what may or may not be covered by insurance initially.

Finally, tell your story. Of course, privacy is important. But for me, hearing about other people who have faced the same challenges as me and come through them is incredibly inspiring. Since I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, I have heard tens of stories of friends or relatives of friends who have had similar issues that I’d never heard about before. Once I began to tell my story, others could better understand my journey and find ways to connect to it. Hopefully opportunities like speaking to you today, through which I can share some of my journey, will do the same for your audience.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Thank you! It is definitely the work I am doing through the Accountability Lab- we’re trying to build a movement for accountability around the world; and to make sure everyone has a say in the decisions that affect them. This relates to healthcare issues directly- as we’ve seen during COVID-19, during which billions of dollars have gone missing through corrupt systems. This is unacceptable- everyone should have access to the healthcare they need and this is one of the biggest accountability challenges of our time. One important outcome of my health crisis is that I am more committed and convinced than ever that the work I am doing is essential.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

Right now I’m finding Kevin McDowell pretty inspiring- he is a US triathlete who just came 6th at the Olympics in Tokyo. Talk about making sure that a health crisis doesn’t define your life! What a hero.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

They can find me @blairglencorse and my organization @accountlab on Twitter.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About The Interviewer: Pirie Jones Grossman is a certified Life Coach, TedX Speaker, influencer, best selling author and co-founder and co-host of the podcast, “Own Your Throne”. She has shared the stage with speakers such as Deepak Chopra, Elisabeth Gilbert, Marianne Williamson, Kris Carr, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She coaches women on focusing on self esteem, and helping women reignite the second chapter of their lives!

She’s a writer for Thrive Global and Huffington Post. She’s a former TV host for E! Entertainment Television, Fox Television, NBC, CBS and ABC. She was Co-Chair for the Special Olympics International World Winter Games in Idaho and spoke at the UN on behalf of Special Olympics. She is the founder of the “Love is Louder” Brain Health Summit with Suicide survivor, Kevin Hines, focusing on teenage depression and suicide. She gave a TedX talk about, “How To Heal A Community from Suicide.”

Pirie has her Masters in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica, California. She is a Sun Valley Wellness Institute Board member and lives in Sun Valley, Idaho with her two teenagers where she has a private Life Empowerment coaching practice.