Bonnie Frankel: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership

An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti

Increases Team Performance and Culture — It assists us to understand different cultures which builds tolerance of others and appreciation for the diversity of humanity. In today’s world, we can use more of this. When we improve human interaction in general, it promotes a more effective way of communicating and positive outcomes result not only in the work place, but in your personal life as well. Employees are more productive, illustrate greater loyalty, and contribute more positively to the work environment which reduces the turnover rates.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is increasingly recognized as a pivotal leadership trait. In an ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who exhibit genuine empathy are better equipped to connect, inspire, and drive their teams towards success. But how exactly does empathy shape leadership dynamics? How can it be harnessed to foster stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and a more inclusive work environment? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Bonnie Frankel.

Bonnie Frankel leads with empathy with an emphasis on compassion when she assists others to reach their full potential. She senses by cultivating this emotion, her colleagues will develop trust, communicate openly, and incorporate a sense of worth with her team. The buzz word about Bonnie is that she grasped that empathy represents core competency as opposed to apathy to thrive in possessing excellent leadership skills before it was trendy.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

Competing as a team player in track and field began the journey of a lifetime which took me to a road less traveled to become a personal development coach leader. During the process of my evolving into a world class runner, I was influenced by various coaches with their techniques and learned from the good coaches as well as the bad ones. Each possessed their own unique talent of leadership. The theme that influenced me was their empathetic gift to guide others to achieve the most out of their own unique talent, including me. What I didn’t know then is that I wanted to mimic their job to become a leader that provided a role in coaching and do it my way. This would include: encompassing open communication, warm-hearted teaching, and individually coach to enhance their journey to be knowledgeable, profitable, and a memorable one. Influenced by the coaches, I wanted to gather what seemed important teachings from them as well as to find my niche as an athletic coach and beyond by creating using a variety of skills. I was captivated with their ability to not only help myself as well as others not just by being the best they could be but to lead them to grow to attain a healthier fit body and mind. To possess that effect of influence, would help others to thrive personally and professionally.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

The pivotal point in my athletic career was when I self- rehabilitated after a right hip replacement to question whether I would be able to attempt to qualify for the Olympic Trials, or be denied running altogether. Would I be the next Bo Jackson? At this juncture, the condo on the beach didn’t sell because of our economy, my life story was in the process of being optioned for a movie, and my book deal fell through at the last minute which left me down and out in Santa Monica on the beach. This required me to relocate to the desert to begin a dubious life. I found work by falling back on my old skills and my willingness to venture into new ones. It was a challenge at fifty-seven, but I was up for it knowing that failing can lead to success. My goal was to continue training myself to get in shape in order to train seriously to qualify for the Olympic Trials. Using mindfulness, staying in the present moment, taking baby steps built my self- confidence. Out of the blue, timing presented an opportunity. One glorious day while I was training at Palm Springs High School before going to work at one of my jobs, the custodian stopped and chatted with me. He told John Carlos to check my talent as he was a teacher there. Quickly, John and I hooked up as I told him about my intention. He took on the leadership role to coach me to qualify for the Olympic Trials. What I didn’t know is that my healthy fitness would inspire him to have a knee replacement and reactivate his ability to get in shape. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine the two Olympians, civil rights activists, and coaches would start and end my career. I was the only one that was coached by both.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

Blending the two skills of emotional intelligence and critical thinking secures my business to flourish because of the masterful strategic approaches they yield. Using these logical basis techniques administers the appropriate leadership role by interacting with my clients positioning the emphasis on EMPATHY. The synergy of using both of these traits assists me to understand myself and others with greater competency to manage individuals to provide the most effective support and guidance. It allows me to approach problems with added compassion, consider diverse perspectives, and navigate interpersonal dynamics effectively. To become an effective critical thinker involves understanding how emotions can help or hinder the thinking processes. Critical thinking enables me to learn from new experiences through the process of continual self-assessment as I form sound beliefs and judgments by providing a basis for a “rational and reasonable,” emotional network. One of my clients, recently got fired from her job after thirteen years. She is pushing eighty and is attempting to find another position to begin another chapter in her life. Jenny has put on a substantial amount of weight halting her exercise throughout this unpleasant process that negatively affected her mental, emotional, and physical health adding more difficulty for her ability to attract a brand- new position. Being empathetic and open minded to her situation, I shared with her the value of practicing the combination of emotional intelligence/ critical thinking to prepare and approach a new job as it would complement the ability to obtain a healthier state of mind. Also, I told her that research supports the concept by adding exercise regulates your mood and raises your emotional intelligence. By putting these fundamentals into action, it would assist her to understand and own her emotions as well as the feelings of others to build-up her self-belief, to construct stronger relationships. By developing these two skills with continuing her exercising, she can become a better version of herself to generate a positive impression in her psychological make-up to incorporate into her professional job hunting. She took my advice and shortly thereafter landed an even better job by returning to her ritual exercising. Somes It is important to lose in order to win.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Self-Belief, dance with uncertainty, emotional intelligence are three components that has enabled me to be triumphant. Self-belief is the cornerstone where many of my great achievements were built. By using this trait, allows me to be strong and not cave because life is filled with challenges, obstacles, and setbacks. Without my self-reliance, hurdles seem unsurmountable causing me to doubt if I dare to achieve. When I trust my abilities and resilience, I mindfully search for a creative solution to problems and persevere through the tough times. Self-confidence led me to tackle the NCAA because I was told it was impossible, yet my gut knew better. Dancing with uncertainty presents me with opportunities to explore new perspectives and learn to stretch my opportunities in life. My life story is of interest once again and is about to be sold to a significant producer. The uncertainty of this form of business re-enforces my self-belief that the contract will complete. Emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills as it impacts most everything I do and say each day. Research documents that 90% of the top performers are high in EQ. It personally focuses my energy in one direction with a rewarding result. Being a personal development coach using emotional intelligence is the foundation for a host of critical skills. This gives me the impetus to assist others to reach their goals because it impacts everything they do and say every day of their lives. When I coach a young adult to believe he or she can reach for the stars, they do just that. To re-enforce, they can go on-line re-read what I have written in articles in place of seeing me face to face. It is written in stone and is always there for those that need to review it again.

Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.

The transition in my leadership role came out of the blue. By taking a risk in writing, it provided me with a tool by discovering a hidden talent to expand expressing my viewpoints about various subject matters to share with others. This skill often assists me by revealing the positive effects that exercise precipitates in decisions we make in our life. By integrating exercise in our lifestyle develops and heightens our emotional intelligence is a proven fact. It is through the written word that broadened and extended the subject matter to aggrandize my market. It would prove to be a vehicle to express my history of experience and opinions with a new thread to improve my leadership ability in a method that is written in stone.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?

Possessing empathy awards an authority to manage a team by insightfully sensing other people’s emotions as it authorizes their ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling. It authenticates the leader to possess a competency of having the ability to understand the needs of others coupled with being aware of their feelings and their thoughts. The key word here is UNDERSTANDING. When empathetic chiefs gain deeper insights into the motivations and concerns of their team members, it enables them to acquire a more informed decision-making and problem-solving edge that accounts for the team’s needs and perspectives. This allows the company to rid itself of negative blemishes. In today’s work environment, an empathetic compassionate leader improves their effectiveness and increases trust which needs to be exaggerated as we live in a distrustful and uncertain world. This assists the importance of the essence of collaboration on their teams which becomes an asset to organizations because it escalates the performance and culture. More than ever, the authority is able to create a much- needed enjoyable work environment for employees by encouraging growth and productivity. A leader today needs more than ever to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and understand their needs in order to grow to survive to thrive.

Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship in your organization?

One of my clients, just graduated from college majoring in political science. Being empathetic coupled with compassion, I actively listened to his concerns of his future. He was questioning whether to continue his education to go to law school btw would increase his student loan debt. I suggested since he experienced the collegiate process, he may want to bypass law school for the time being, and research what states would allow him to take the bar and practice his passion of law. If down the road he chose to practice law in a state that required law school, he could always go back. I re-enforced the importance for him to continue his running because it would heighten his emotional intelligence/critical intelligence to secure him to make relevant decisions in his life. I also suggested to view some of my articles on- line so that we would continue and expand our relationship. Chad is now pursuing a group that will assist him to study for the bar without adding more debt.

How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?

Exceptional leaders understand that popularity is a fleeting metric. They sense it is about making the right choices to secure the appropriate decisions to attain the goal. An effective leader prioritizes the organization’s long-term health, even if it faces short-term criticism. This effort requires them to use their self-awareness and be compassionate leaders, even though it means encountering resistance. The authority desires to communicate effectively the decisions, explain the rationale, and demonstrate compassion for those impacted to assemble respect, even if the decisions themselves are not popular. The mover and the shaker will command respect from their steadfast commitment to core values, the ability to articulate a clear vision, and their consistent demonstration of integrity which leads the team members to trust the decisions. Explaining your decisions with clarity, addressing concerns, and demonstrate that you care about the impact it has on your team goes a long way. Always lead by practicing what you preach as it sets the standard for your team.

How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?

When leaders use an empathetic approach, they are able to step into the shoes of their employees enabling their ability to understand their experiences, and effectively articulate their emotions. Empathy is illustrated on a higher level how much compassion and understanding the chief can give to his team. Whereas sympathy is about keeping an emotional distance and conveys the feeling of pity for another. If the leader doesn’t distinguish between the two, it creates a negative environment as opposed to a positive one which affects the performance on a morale level leads to dissention with poor productivity. When using empathy, it ensues a deeper understanding and willingness to connect beyond the surface level with others. When you sympathize with another you feel for them, and when you empathize you feel with them. Empathy puts you on an even keel with employees, not a superior one. When you use compassion with empathy, you indicate to your team that you are there to assist them as opposed to when you use pity with sympathy, you feel sorry for them. Compassion goes beyond sympathy and empathy.

What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?

PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING. Strive to listen more than interrupt and have direct eye contact because it reassures that you are unplugged and are in the present moment. Self-awareness used under this circumstance will alert you to your own attitudes and biases, so that you will resist imposing these to the speaker. I recommend leaders to use “the 80–20 Rule” because you lead “smarter not harder.” It is most effectively used in businesses because it translates that you will achieve more by doing less when you focus on the right issues. When we apply it in business it identifies inputs that are potentially the most productive and are priority. This also reminds us to focus more on learning to love and accept and validate yourself as opposed to trying to locate those qualities out there in the world. By engaging in this form of activity, you illustrate your genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Collaborating emotional responses and perspective in conversing via emotional responses, or affective empathy happens when an individual shares another person’s feelings. Engage in role-playing and scenarios requiring a cognitive empathy can improve an authority’s ability to empathize with his team players. By doing this it falls under the umbrella of practicing emotional Intelligence because it conveys vulnerability. Communicating vulnerability develops empathy for people in general. When this tool is used in companies, it illustrates owning up to their challenges and problems in a way that demonstrate they are really trying and the employees will acknowledge this as it builds more empathy/trust. We need to be open to learning at all levels in an organization. Companies need to own up to their challenges and concerns in a way that demonstrate that they genuinely care. Not only does this build empathy, but if plans are not successful, customers are more prepared to accept failure.

How can empathy help leaders navigate the complexities of leading diverse teams and ensure inclusivity?

Empathy is the bedrock of mutual acceptance, diversity, and inclusion. This skill enables leaders to recognize and appreciate the unique backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives of their team members. By valuing diversity, empathetic leaders create a culture of involvement, where everyone feels welcomed, valued, and empowered to contribute their best. Nurture the importance that empathy is the foundation of mutual acceptance, diversity, and inclusion. When we comprehend how our colleagues think, then we can relate to their feelings. We also can embrace team collaboration and respond to individual needs. It enables us to understand what our customers or clients expect from us by creating a successful long-term collaboration. Diversity is valued and the manner in which it can be achieved is by having all-embracing corporate values. Everyone can use these as a guide as it always provides direction for both existing employees as well as potential applicants.

Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?

1 . Practice Emotional Intelligence — This skill is the core principle of being a compassionate leader and empathy is the key ingredient included in the five categories of EG. When you possess a high EG, it enables the ability to understand and share the emotions of others. It opens up a new window allowing your ability to identify and manages your own feelings as well as the emotions of others. Understanding and managing their emotions, as well as recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others, allows business leaders to navigate complex interpersonal dynamics with finesse.

2 . Increases Team Performance and Culture — It assists us to understand different cultures which builds tolerance of others and appreciation for the diversity of humanity. In today’s world, we can use more of this. When we improve human interaction in general, it promotes a more effective way of communicating and positive outcomes result not only in the work place, but in your personal life as well. Employees are more productive, illustrate greater loyalty, and contribute more positively to the work environment which reduces the turnover rates.

3 . Improves Teams– It becomes easier for team members to trust one another. They feel more comfortable expressing their ideas because the belief is in play with their teammates to demonstrate empathy towards them. By being more effective, it increases trust and the collaboration on their teams. This skill also increases their performance and culture. No worries about experiencing ridicule in front of their co-workers. Thus, it fosters a sense of unity which leads to an increased productivity and job satisfaction.

4 . Active Listening — It encourages empathetic Attentive Communication and enhances the effectiveness of empathy by ensuring that your team truly understands and appreciates one another’s perspectives. It enables the leader to form a deeper connection by validating their thoughts and feelings which encourages open and direct honest expression. The leader uses this skill to establish a congenial workplace communication. This method is hailed as the single most critical tool for effective leadership. Listening is at the heart of emotional intelligence as it allows you to remain open to new ideas, perspectives, and experiences. You in turn elevate your awareness not only of others, but yourself as well.

5 . Offers Support — Empathetic leadership serves employees to feel safe and bolstered in the workplace to share their true feelings without fear or repercussion. It is important to offer support to the team when needed and reassure them that they feel comfortable sharing concerns with their managers. To continue to focus on education, adapting to changing needs and remaining flexible will reassure the employees to feel that you have their back, valued, and heard in the workplace as they move through new personal and professional challenges.

Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?

This skill of empathy has a downside as well to its upside. It often helps us do what is right, but it also sometimes motivates us to do what is wrong. The skill can distort our judgment because it can trigger our altruistic impulses resulting in poor judgment that could harm many people for the benefit of one person. Leaders that use this skill, can cloud moral judgment as it encourages bias and makes us less effective at making wise or appropriate decisions. When using empathy, it must be combined with constructive action to have a real impact. Using without skill and discipline, to stand back, judge objectively and act accordingly is worth little. An alternative approach would be to use an MSC workshop (Mindful Self-Compassion) as a leader because it combines the skills of mindfulness and self-compassion providing a powerful tool for emotional resilience. The mindful approach to emotions would act to cut short the reactions of suppression or acting out by developing the ability to embrace our emotions as they arise. Empathetic leadership is essential, but not enough. To get the best results in leading is to be able communicate that you are willing to help your team overcome their challenges.

Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you awake at night? How do those thoughts influence your daily decision-making process?

I am troubled if my leadership is effective, if I have accomplished all I need to. This feel goes with an age- old theory I have, “Did I do enough.” The concerning part is whether my ability to guide, inspire, and influence others to achieve goals and drive organizational skills will stick. It is all about using a combination of methods which include: clear communication, strategic thinking, emotional intelligence/critical thinking, and the ability to motivate and empower my team members. Using the characteristics of empathy combined with MSC enables me to switch my concerns from being ineffective to thrive with my team even further. Leadership continually impacts my life daily when I need to identify my learning objectives. It helps me make informed decisions about what to learn first and what to prioritize at a later date. I perceive leadership as a process to guide my personal and professional development with the ability to access new information every day.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Practice empathy with compassion to make our society thrive again.

How can our readers further follow you online?

BonnieFrankel.com., Authority and Thrive Global Magazine, Facebook, Amazon.com. — Bonnie’s Theory Finding the Right Exercise

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.