Brain Health: Antoinette Bonafede of Gateway to Solutions On 5 Lifestyle Habits That Support Cognitive Well-Being

An Interview with Shawna Robins

Understand your relationship with your body — each of us is slightly different, and depending on our feelings and experiences, we may respond differently to other foods, people, medicines, and situations. Take time to observe how your body responds to things. When we feel stressed out, many of us don’t even register it until it has manifested physically (i.e., headaches, stomachaches, TMJ, tension in the body.) These symptoms increase cortisol in our body, leaving us more susceptible to fight, flight, or freeze responses if not addressed over time. It causes us not to feel well physically and impacts our cognitive ability to reason through problems. Learn your stressors and warning signs that you need a break, and learn about the things that inflame you(food, people, or otherwise).

In a world inundated with distractions, constant connectivity, and a plethora of information, our cognitive well-being has never been more crucial. Amidst the clamor, how do we nurture our minds, keep our focus sharp, and cultivate habits that promote mental clarity? The right lifestyle habits can be the cornerstone to maintaining and even enhancing our cognitive abilities, ensuring not just longevity but also the quality of our mental faculties. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Antoinette Bonafede.

Antoinette understands the challenge of initiating therapy, emphasizing trust-building to help clients feel comfortable and open to exploring new perspectives. She collaborates closely with clients, integrating their objectives, values, and life circumstances to empower them to achieve their optimal selves. With extensive experience across diverse age groups and backgrounds, she tailors her approach using various therapeutic modalities such as DBT, CBT, psychodynamic therapy, and REBT, fostering clear communication to support clients in articulating their goals and strengths.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I spent the first six years in Queens, where my parents grew up. My family moved to Long Island just in time for me to start First grade, and it took some time for me to adjust to suburban life. I moved back to NYC as soon as possible because I loved it so much more. My father was (still is) self-made and ran a successful business for over 30 years in Long Island City. He and my mom were my principal teachers of work ethic, and their parenting styles were definitely on the stricter side. Since my family was Italian (and very warm and outgoing), I spent much of my time with family and family friends, usually including at least 25 people at all gatherings and holidays. I grew up fortunate to have many supportive people who fostered some of my favorite childhood memories, from camping to weekends in the Catskills. We didn’t travel much but spent summers on the boat as our primary family bonding activity. I got my boating license when I was 9, and it wasn’t uncommon for me to be behind the wheel at that age. As I got older, I tried most sports and mastered none, but I found a love for art, music, and theatre, which kept me busy and inspired me in middle and high school and college.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Untamed by Glennon Doyle has been a favorite of mine for a few years. She beautifully speaks to the pressure of expectations and the discomfort of feeling your emotions and taking worthwhile risks. I read it when my career and personal life were about to bloom into everything I had worked for, and I didn’t even know it yet. At the time, I was seeking to leave Nonprofit work, where I spent the last few years working in crisis intervention while in school full-time getting my Master’s degree, and I was ready for something new. I had spent the previous few years making the most of little sleep and a lot of stress to make my goals a reality; when I think back on that time, I feel immense gratitude for the friends I have that held my spirits up when I was too exhausted to do it myself. Untamed was about mastering the art that “two things could be true at once.” You could be scared and simultaneously need to take a leap of faith anyway because the only thing worse than failing was staying where you couldn’t bloom. Doyle’s writing normalized the experience of fear and how to look within to see how you can be malleable to the inevitable changes and continue to grow no matter how old you are. It spoke to my change in career, a new phase in my life of living with a partner, and it reminded me that what I was feeling was normal. Almost four years after that jump, her words have never proven more accurate.

Let’s now talk about lifestyle habits that support cognitive well-being. Are there specific foods or diets that have been scientifically shown to enhance cognitive functions?

Dietary needs can vary significantly based on a person’s specific health journey, and I think it is imperative to check in with your care team before making any recommendations. One that comes to mind is the need for healthy fats despite the crazy fad diets we’ve seen over the years. Foods high in omega-3 fatty acids help build and repair brain nerve cells; some examples include fish and walnuts.

What are your thoughts on the importance of movement and exercise in the context of cognitive decline? How do different forms of exercise, such as aerobic vs. strength training, influence cognitive well-being?

Staying physically active is equally crucial as remaining mentally engaged, as it keeps your body strong and maintains your physical ability to participate in daily life. Exercise reduces inflammation and stress and increases blood flow to the brain, making it a critical preventative measure against dementia. More recently, new research studies have suggested that exercise is responsible for increased neuroplasticity and growth in hippocampal cells. Increased neuroplasticity indicates that the brain forms new electrical pathways to adapt over time; it enables humans to continue to function, learn, and maintain memories.

Can mindfulness practices or meditation offer measurable benefits to cognitive health?

Absolutely! Mindfulness sometimes gets a bad rap because many clients are impatient with the idea that sitting in silence or deep breathing will help them when they have a long list of things bugging them that they want to talk about. When people seek relief, they often wish for direct and immediate action. However, mindfulness is about being fully engaged and present in the moment and giving it 100% of your attention. When people multitask or only halfway pay attention, they miss essential stimuli around them. For some, this is a way to cope with uncomfortable feelings like boredom, hurt, sadness, and anxiety, or it can be a way to pass the time (a sort of instant gratification.) Mindfulness gives us the space to take in all the stimuli around us and allows us to feel emotions and understand why. Often, it also enables us to find perspective so our feelings don’t mislead us. It teaches acceptance of the present to better react in the future.

How do the quality and quantity of sleep correlate with cognitive performance and long-term brain health?

Sleep plays a significant role in overall performance, development, and maintenance of the body and cognitive abilities. Our body clock, or circadian rhythm, regulates body temperature, metabolism, and releasing hormones. All these components can contribute to our energy levels, regulation of our emotions, and ability to think clearly. Different stages of sleep offer varied levels of relaxation, maintenance, and repair that take place each night. REM sleep (where we experience dreams) supports brain development, consolidates memory, and supports emotional processing. When we don’t get sufficient sleep, our reaction time can be slower, we might get emotional or angry quicker, and we may struggle with low energy and lack of focus. Research on good-quality sleep indicates that it improves mood, improves the ability to focus, and gives the body more time to recover, repair, and heal from the wear and tear of the day.

How do social connections and interpersonal relationships influence our cognitive well-being?

People need human connection and a sense of community, whether in the neighborhood, friendships, family, spirituality, or common interest. When people feel understood or accepted by other people, they tend to be more authentic and vulnerable. Social connections provide opportunities for people to pull away from their defense mechanisms or unhelpful beliefs that keep them guarded and sheltered from others, and it opens the door to learning how to self-advocate, have a positive conflict where say what they are experiencing, and feel without fear of being rejected or torn down. Over my career in social work, I have found that it is imperative to surround yourself with like-minded people and those vastly different from yourself. The blend of these two groups provides an opportunity to grow and learn with varied perspectives, allowing others to expand their view. Social connection keeps people thinking and developing, and the result is that they keep growing even into late adulthood, which keeps their cognitive abilities sharp.

What role do lifelong learning and continuous mental stimulation play in maintaining optimal cognitive health?

Brain development tends to slow as we age; we lose it if we don’t use it. However, when we learn new things, part of our brain gets activated and lights up; the nervous system keeps energy going to those areas of the brain so long as we keep using them. When people withdraw or isolate, less of the brain is used, tends to atrophy over time, and becomes weaker. As a result, those who don’t challenge themselves or continue seeking stimulation and learning tend to decline at a much more rapid pace.

What are your five favorite lifestyle habits that proactively support cognitive well-being?

1. Understand your relationship with your body — each of us is slightly different, and depending on our feelings and experiences, we may respond differently to other foods, people, medicines, and situations. Take time to observe how your body responds to things. When we feel stressed out, many of us don’t even register it until it has manifested physically (i.e., headaches, stomachaches, TMJ, tension in the body.) These symptoms increase cortisol in our body, leaving us more susceptible to fight, flight, or freeze responses if not addressed over time. It causes us not to feel well physically and impacts our cognitive ability to reason through problems. Learn your stressors and warning signs that you need a break, and learn about the things that inflame you(food, people, or otherwise).
2. Take stock of what you need- when you are always on the go, you may notice those triggers, but now this is crucial: Do something about it! I like to think of it like checking on my battery power for the day. If I’m at 30%, I need to charge before a social gathering, or my battery will run out, and I not only won’t feel like my best self, but it’ll likely take me some time to reboot after. Not every self-care routine needs to be expensive and time-consuming. Sometimes, it’s as simple as taking an extra few minutes of stretching in the morning or on your skincare routine at night; other times, it’s more like avoiding a food that causes inflammation.
3. Get comfortable with hard conversations- Sometimes, taking what you need means you won’t be able to be in 6 places at once (hint: you aren’t supposed to do that, silly.) Inevitably, if you can’t always be everywhere, you will have to say no or let people down, which can be uncomfortable. Here is the good news: while people may have learned that you are reliable, this situation reminds them that you are also human. A shift like this also challenges the cognition perhaps that has built up over time that if you put yourself first, you must be a bad friend. Putting your oxygen mask on first is imperative in most emergencies, especially maintaining your cognitive well-being. Two things can be true at once: You can be a good friend, but you must also take some downtime to maintain that friendship.
4. Build Routines-How you start and end your day plays a massive role in how things unfold throughout the day. Habits and routines are good for stress management, organization, maintaining memory, and meeting goals. Routines allow us to be intentional with our time. It will enable us to consider the things that are important to us and carve out time for them. It increases mindfulness and engagement in those activities and is a tangible way to take stock of progress toward goals. Routines look different for everyone. For some, it’s an hour of reading by the window before their first meeting, while for others, it’s a cup of coffee on the couch with their dog before their commute or a jog in the evening. The key to routine building is to start very small. Don’t rearrange your whole life, and do not expect there to be reaction and transition time. Pick one small thing, get used to it, and build from there.
5. Move your body- I have dabbled with varying types of exercise over the years, from cycling and running to HIIT and weightlifting, and It is a pivotal part of my daily routine. Media talks about the body and weaponizes exercise to get to an appearance, but the benefits are so much more than that. It’s about feeling strong, conquering goals, and pushing yourself past the limit of what you ‘thought’ you could do. It is my primary source of stress relief, and the endorphins released boost my mood and provide mental clarity that leaves me focused and alert.

Are there any proven techniques or habits that can help protect against age-related cognitive decline?

Most are mentioned here already, but the importance of social connections is worth mentioning again. Staying connected to others keeps our brains active by stimulating memory. The same is true about the type of company you choose to keep. Having social connections that challenge us but don’t cause long-term stress or aggravation is vital because this clouds our cognitive abilities.

In your professional or personal experience, what can be done to delay cognitive decline if the genetic predisposition is there?

While your genetics may not be controlled, minimizing some risks is still possible. As mentioned, eating a well-balanced diet with whole foods, exercising, and maintaining a socially active and mentally engaging life are the most effective ways to slow cognitive decline. It is also essential to get regular checkups with bloodwork and necessary follow-ups to ensure everything is in a healthy balance. It is also imperative to avoid substances that can deteriorate health, including smoking and drinking alcohol. It’s also essential to ask necessary questions about medications and their side effects so you can stay well informed on how medication can change your brain chemistry.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Dan Levy is hilarious, and I thoroughly enjoyed his work in Schitt’s Creek. I appreciated how he cleverly, without making it a spectacle, nailed the concept of accepting a person’s sexuality in a show. I am not alone; his awards speak for themselves!

How can our readers follow you online?

@antoinette_bonafedelmsw on Instagram

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: Shawna Robins is an international best-selling author of two books — Powerful Sleep — Rest Deeply, Repair Your Brain and Restore Your Life, and Irresistibly Healthy — Simple Strategies to Feel Vibrant, Alive, Healthy and Full of Energy Again. Shawna is the founder and CEO of Third Spark, an online wellness hub for women over 40 who want to reignite their sleep, reset healthier habits and respark their lives. Shawna is a sleep expert, hormone health expert, and a National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach (NBHWC). She has been featured on many podcasts including Dr. Mindy Pelz’s “The Resetter Podcast” and in Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, and The Huffington Post. A free download of her latest book can be found at www.thirdsparkhealth.com/powerful-sleep/ You can follow her on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.