C.M. Conway: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership
An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti
Empathy creates more compassionate communication and effective leadership. Simply reflecting or repeating back what a team member has said fosters a sense of listening and hearing. You may also learn about a challenge team members have on a particular project, and be more proactive in preventing issues down the road by conducting more research, extending a deadline or revising the guidelines. This sets up your team for success and genuine contribution to the organization.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is increasingly recognized as a pivotal leadership trait. In an ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who exhibit genuine empathy are better equipped to connect, inspire, and drive their teams towards success. But how exactly does empathy shape leadership dynamics? How can it be harnessed to foster stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and a more inclusive work environment? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing C.M. Conway.
C.M. Conway (she/her) is a filmmaker, communications and storytelling consultant. She helps organizations, brands and professionals hone their storytelling style. Her diverse, inspiring film, “How to Successfully Fail in Hollywood” became the little indie that could and now available on a top streaming giant. The witty and poignant film is inspired by her story; and features friends flipping failure in outrageous Tinseltown; along with a heartfelt journey of friendship and self-discovery. The film’s podcast is on Apple, iTunes and other popular platforms, and invites and shares the slip-up stories of creatives and insights gained. Ms. Conway has been featured in numerous media outlets; and dedicated to uplifting the stories of minorities while unearthing unique stories of women, marginalized cultures and communities.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Sure, I appreciate this opportunity to discuss how empathy positively impacts leadership.
After obtaining degrees in English and Communications, I went to Los Angeles for the summer and believe it or not, ended up living there for over 10 years. I was acting, producing and building my other business. Acting teaches you great empathy!
When I decided to leave Los Angeles for the quality of life (and my roots) in Northern California, I decided to write a book about my experiences in Hollywood. It became a screenplay then an indie called, “How to Successfully Fail in Hollywood.” The film is an ode to friendship and the bold artists and dreamers trying to make it against all odds; while looking failure dead in the eye and laughing.
I’m a storyteller and storytelling informs much of my work in filmmaking and consulting with leaders and brands. It’s an enormous catalyst for empathy; and a powerful method of communication housed in our ancient and collective DNA.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Deciding to make my first feature film. “How to Successfully Fail in Hollywood” was a truly interesting (and inspiring) experience. I executive produced, directed, wrote and edited the film, and it taught me so much about trusting intuition and relying on skills developed over time. Also, about how to flip failure into a prism of possibilities. Making a film is a lot like running an organization, it’s a team effort of everyone involved.
When I moved out of Los Angeles, I felt haunted by a feeling of failure, and not contributing to the landscape of cinema the way I wanted. I had to write about it to get it out of my system.
During the process of writing about my experiences in Hollywood, I started gaining perspective and seeing the sense of humor of it all. Once I completed the screenplay, something in me wanted to take the ultimate risk and make it a feature film. I can’t explain it, but on some level I knew I’d been preparing for this my entire life.
Having nothing to lose, I felt I had everything to gain, and put all my cards on the table.
One I started the process, I was amazed at the momentum behind my back. Every skill I learned in Tinseltown, and building my own business, paid off. Instead of knocking on doors, they were opening on their own. The perseverance I learned in the industry over the years was also invaluable.
For example, I live in the North Bay, California. We had a micro budget for our film, and decided to tap owners of local businesses in Sonoma County and the Bay Area (in addition to L.A.) to request filming in their locations. We also had an opportunity and filmed in front of the Hollywood Sign, which was a dream come true.
The community support for our film was inspiring and a crucial lynchpin, and in the end became a grassroots movement with the added benefit of getting the word out about our film. And, we helped get the word out about the local businesses that supported our film and mission of gender equity in front and behind the camera; in addition to diversity and inclusivity. As a consultant in communications (and marketing), my background became invaluable with the press interested in covering these aspects of our indie, among others.
All because we didn’t have a big budget and had to get creative.
Making an indie film, just like being an entrepreneur, is not for the faint of heart but very rewarding.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
My expertise is in excavating stand-out stories as social agents of change. Storytelling is a vital bridge to empathy and learning more about one another in a way we recognize, since sitting around the campfire and telling a good old-fashioned tale. This art is invaluable in filmmaking and also helping professionals and businesses find and tell their own dynamic stories.
For my film, I essentially created a fun “how-not-to” story; a quintessential outsiders look inside Tinseltown, with the freedom to share a treasure trove of its inner secrets without fear since I wasn’t famous. I wanted to create a film that speaks to the unknown, hardworking artists who comprise most of the industry itself.
It’s remarkable how this story is relatable to other artistic trades and in business, since most industries have a similar pyramid model. That is, a group of wildly successfully people or businesses on top, and an enormous group of hopefuls wanting to get to the top triangle (or at least trying to make a good living).
I realized when making the movie, as creators and leaders, we must embrace our own stories and even our bodacious blunders if we have any shot of making something seminal and beating the odds. That’s what I did with the movie, and the press seemed very interested in covering the fact I was talking about failure, and not trying to hide it. Failure also connects us to our empathy and humanity. I mean, who hasn’t fallen on their face?
When people saw the film, they felt inspired to share their failure stories with me; or tales of relatives and friends experiencing something similar in the industry. I’ve had people express the film made them think differently about failures and self-acceptance. This helps promote empathy with oneself, which in turn helps become empathetic with others.
Storytelling is an ancient art housed in our DNA and utilized since the dawn of time to connect people, cultures and societies. Stories are a powerful method of transforming the personal to the universal, while allowing people to feel a part of something larger. They have a strong imprint on our subconscious, and greatly benefit our emotional life. When done well, storytelling also releases dopamine in our system; in addition to forming new neural pathways in our brain to make connections to new ideas and solutions to challenges.
And who doesn’t love a good story?
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
That is a great question.
Running a business and making a film have many similarities. One of the traits that helps is a sense of humor. I had a common experience that many artists have in pyramid industries where the odds are stacked high against ‘making it,’ whatever that means for an individual artist. However, in gaining perspective and seeing the humor in my experiences and creating the film, it seemed to help others also find humor in theirs, too.
Another quality is I’m savvy to the fact that the real risk takers mine the gold and utilize slip-ups as stepping stones to where the gold resides, paving the way for something greater. Failure is a valuable teacher with insights to share.
For example, my film’s podcast invites and shares the stories of artists and people who share the mishaps that happen along their journey. The guests on our podcast have relayed a tremendous amount of insights, and show such courage to share their stories. Stories are a meaningful way to communicate that we all benefit from; since folktales, myths and legends were passed down from generations and cultures.
In addition to empathy, perseverance can never be underestimated. Sometimes opportunities are just around the corner if you stick with the path, while observing the signals along the way and change course if you need to. Perseverance is key. It’s not always exciting, but efforts make headway if you’re patient. There are no shortcuts.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
Absolutely.
On the last day of our production schedule, one of the biggest challenges occurred: the electricity suddenly went out in the small rural town we filmed in. My heart sank. It was completely unexpected, and felt like the ultimate failure. I knew it could last days due to the weather. I feared we wouldn’t finish the film, since key people needed to leave the next day.
I stood there with the crew and cast in the cold, our mouths agape. We were literally in the dark, the rain pelting on the roof of a barn. It was raining buckets outside.
I had to make the difficult decision to continue since our schedule simply didn’t allow time for pity. I couldn’t even have a heart attack, since there wasn’t an active plug to juice a defibrillator! I didn’t know if we could pull it off, but one thing was for sure, I wouldn’t find out quitting.
I kicked into gear, deciding the dream sequence in the scene will be filmed first, it didn’t need sound and music would be added in post-production. Our cinematographer Lisa Stoll, was also invaluable with ideas, setting up the lights and camera, all on limited batteries. Daniel Hess, our sound recordist and mixer, also helped with troubleshooting and his gear. The rest of the crew and cast made valuable contributions.
And as if reflecting the scene itself, a miracle happened. A few hours later, the barn lit up like a holiday tree. When the electricity came on, the crew fell to their knees in gratitude. Or, perhaps it was to plug every little thing into the wall. Either way, the film was saved.
I try to focus on the solution and not the problem, it opens many more avenues for people to work as a team.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?
I believe empathy is an invaluable trait in leadership, defined as the ability of putting oneself in another’s shoes. In this position, leaders can gain a profound understanding of team members, dynamics, company culture and opportunities to solve complex problems.
Empathy can be accessed by tapping into one’s vulnerability and compassion, while treating team members like valuable members of a community. This fosters stronger relationships through communication strategies, listening and compassion; providing invaluable information for decision making. It also leads to learning unique or new solutions to daunting challenges.
Empathy shapes leaders by allowing them to be present to a person or situation, while gaining a deep understanding. This in turn informs a leader to adjust company culture or a business strategy if needed, by integrating the wisdom and skills of the person or people involved with a new understanding. Integration of this nature creates trust, inclusion and a feeling of ownership amongst team members; promoting an environment that leads to a more positive and productive work culture.
It’s important to note empathy is often created by leaders who share their own stories displaying honesty and vulnerability; and invite team members to do the same.
As I’ve mentioned, stories create a sense of community, and an enduring connection to others.
Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship in your organization?
Of course.
I was a consultant for a successful creative client who was uncomfortable in front of the camera. We had made the decision he was a vital part of his brand, instead of just focusing on the products he helped create. And when he shared a story about his passion for what he does, and how his products help others, it was very inspiring. We wanted to capture this passion on camera to personalize and put a face on his business.
I’ve directed actors and been on both sides of the camera. He was not an actor, but empathy is key when directing. During filming, when he was having challenges or nervous, I kept gently reminding him not to focus on the camera, but on who he is really talking to and share his passion. It was a delicate process of acknowledging his feelings and discomfort and coaching him to overcome them, while telling his story.
His sincerity came through on camera, and the end result was very moving.
How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?
That is the rub, isn’t it? It’s usually decided on a case-by-case basis.
For example, when you are a filmmaker and have to make the decision to do one more shot for coverage on a film, and it’s been a long shoot day and everyone is outside and starting to get cold… that decision is not going to be popular. But if you’ve worked fairly with a team, they ideally understand it’s the best for the film. I’m certain there are many correlations in business scenarios.
Give and take is also important. Once, I had the make the decision to move the shoot of a particular scene the next evening (on the production schedule) due to a crew member’s request and the location creating some technical challenges. So, we ended up shooting at a nearby location the next evening, and it actually turned out better in the film.
You really have to hone and trust your intuition on striking the balance on when to compromise and when to lead. Empathy helps you make this decision.
How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?
Another great question. Empathy is putting yourself in another’s shoes to understand someone and their experiences. Sympathy is a quality that aids this understanding emotionally.
It’s important for leaders to distinguish between the two, since empathy has a more direct and active approach; and sympathy more passive. Yet, the latter helps the former and is equally important.
What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?
Make empathy a daily practice if it doesn’t come easily. Acknowledging one’s own vulnerabilities is a great way to cultivate understanding and empathy for others. We can usually only give what we have, so if you’re connected to your humanity, it’s easier to recognize it in others.
Other traits like listening, compassionate communication, integrating the experiences of your team and trust are vital qualities to nurture.
Telling a personal story that shows your humanity or how you overcame a challenge and relates to a particular situation is also a powerful catalyst to promote empathy. Invite team members to do the same, and sit back and watch how it shifts the matrix in the room for the better.
How can empathy help leaders navigate the complexities of leading diverse teams and ensure inclusivity?
Empathy is a crucial key to navigating diverse teams and promote inclusivity, as it fosters compassion and understanding. Where there is a true understanding of the experiences (challenges and successes) of team members, this directly informs and creates the foundation of an integrated company culture led by empathy. This in turn, creates more empathetic team members, and a positive cycle.
What’s your approach to ensuring that succession planning is a holistic process, and not just confined to the top layers of management? How do you communicate this philosophy through the organization?
Inclusion is not just a concept, it’s a practice. It starts from the hiring process all the way to succession planning. If inclusion is built into the fibers of your organization, it’s a natural process and progression, not just with succession planning but in all aspects of the company.
This philosophy is the most effective in demonstrated actions, and communication around this philosophy supports this demonstration (but shouldn’t replace it).
Communication of this approach can occur verbally, through trainings, employee handbooks, workshops, onboarding procedures, company brand and mission statements, etc. People also have different learning modalities, so your communication around this topic should involve all of them (auditory, visual, kinesthetic, etc.)
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?
1 . The first, is it will make you a better listener and leader. It will also keep you in touch with what is actually going on in your organization. Utilizing certain phrases such as “I understand” or “Tell me more about that” will explore the issues and wisdom of your team. These are bridge-building phrases that have a more inclusive approach and opens the doors for more honest communication.
2 . Empathy creates more compassionate communication and effective leadership. Simply reflecting or repeating back what a team member has said fosters a sense of listening and hearing. You may also learn about a challenge team members have on a particular project, and be more proactive in preventing issues down the road by conducting more research, extending a deadline or revising the guidelines. This sets up your team for success and genuine contribution to the organization.
3 . Integrating the expertise and experiences of your team directly promotes empathy, inclusion and productivity within the organization.
For example, getting feedback by team members who are experienced or belong to the demographics of particular campaign, can provide invaluable insights. Sometimes we have blind spots, or don’t know what we don’t know.
There are a number of stories of advertising campaigns where well-known brands didn’t research or perform the correct language translations, ending up with slogans that had entirely different meanings than intended in other countries. If they had done their due diligence, they wouldn’t have had to pull the commercials.
4 . This quality establishes more trust with your team. This builds a strong foundation for valuing members of your team, and cannot be overstated. For example, after collaborating and working with actors in our film during rehearsals, I trusted the work they did to inhabit their roles during the production. Much of the time, direction wasn’t necessary during production due to their own work and the preparation we accomplished. I was impressed on many levels with the actors in our film (in addition to our crew) to own their work. Sometimes something may have been different than I originally imagined, but more often than not, it was better.
5 . Empathy allows more meaningful communication, such as telling a relevant story that helps illustrate a point, show your humanity or teach a lesson. This in turn, this promotes deep understanding and empathy. As mentioned, storytelling is a unique form of communication we all recognize in our cells. A story about a challenge you had when faced with a particular situation that mirrors what team members are going through, may help them see a way through it. Invite them to share their related stories too, and watch how this creates a shared experience that cultivates community.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
It’s important to utilize empathy in a way that is mindful, but not overwhelming. Tuning in all day to everyone around you could be counterproductive if it immerses you in stagnation instead of action.
This takes practice to differentiate, but is well worth the effort. For instance, you can be proactive in preventing overwhelm by sensing it beforehand and taking some time reflect and recalibrate.
Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you awake at night? How do those thoughts influence your daily decision-making process?
There are social justice issues and world events occurring that can keep me awake.
It impacts my daily decision process by putting my concerns into action to try to help organizations helping at the forefront of these issues. Or, place the issues in my art to address them and attempt to make a difference. For instance, there are important social issues addressed in my film mentioned. Stories that feature social issues can be social agents of change when done well. Art has a unique role in our society to inform and enlighten.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I believe understanding breeds empathy. One movement to propel this forward is if someone took time one day out of the week to try to understand someone they judge. This could be through watching a documentary, volunteer work or listening to someone in your community. An organization called The Human Library has a wonderful ongoing series called “Unjudge Somone.” Our society is becoming very polarized in certain aspects, and developing more empathy can be a solution to this problem (among many), and doesn’t cost a thing.
Understanding is also more accessible when someone isn’t concerned with basic human needs and rights.
And at the risk of sounding like I’m in a pageant, helping alleviate third-world poverty and human rights violations are also up on the list.
How can our readers further follow you online?
I appreciate you asking. Our website is FunnyFailureFilm.com for a marketing, storytelling or communications consultation. The links to see our inspiring, grassroots indie, “How to Successfully Fail in Hollywood,” and listen to our podcast by the same name are also found there.
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Thanks so much for the thoughtful questions and helping creating more empathetic leadership. It was a pleasure and right back at you!
About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.