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Christy Primmer of Primetime Consulting ServicesOn How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself

Knowing yourself at an intimate level is priceless and will completely change your life. Activate your self-care and awareness as you really get to know who you are and what matters to you and watch your health and your success evolve.

As a part of our series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Christy Primmer.

Christy Primmer, Trauma counselor turned success coach, is teaching women how to stand in their fierce feminine power becoming confident AF to create the life and business they desire using self-care and law of attraction.

Christy is the President of her company Primetime Consulting Services Inc. which provides services and products that educate and empower women to get back in the driver’s seat of their own lives. Bringing two decades of experience as a trauma counselor, Christy specializes in mindset and is the queen of inner game transformation.

Author of Confessions of a Self-Care Junkie, Primetime Success, EXPOSED: Diary of a Self-Care Junkie, and host of the TV show Women Who Lead. Christy has been featured on ABC, NBC, The ListTV, FOX, The CW, Your California Life, Bloom, The CONNECT Network, in Thrive Global, Yahoo! Finance, and on numerous podcasts.

Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to share with you all! I love inspiring others to overcome any label or limitation that has been put upon them or taught to them by others. Through my career history, serving as a trauma counselor for over two decades, I witnessed transformation, healing, change, and unrealistic goals happen in the lives of way too many women and men to count. Proof, that our thoughts create our reality and we are not to be defined by our past.

It was a natural transition for me to shift into the coaching industry, and to continue building my media career while also speaking and writing books. I love being both an example and an inspiration of what’s possible when you believe in yourself and are intentional about your choices in life.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?

I am currently recording episodes for Season Four of my TV show “Women Who Lead”. Everything I do is deliberate and focused on living and loving better. I am a self-care junkie and have committed my life to creating products and services that educate and empower women to get back into the driver’s seat of their own lives.

The work I do, mixed with my TV show and books, provides practical strategies that teach women how to step out of shame and into their power with confidence in who they are and what they are capable of. My intention is to help women love themselves inside out; which essentially, transforms the world one woman at a time.

Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self acceptance?

Of course! There are numerous struggles which I have overcome. The tipping point came many years ago when I watched my Dad battle cancers and health ailments, and eventually transition from this physical world. I realized that health is wealth. I made a decision to live full out. To be grateful for my life and to pursue my dreams with confidence like never before.

I made the commitment to myself, for myself, that I was no longer going to beat myself up! I was no longer going to compare myself to others, or treat my body like crap. Instead, I vowed to learn how to truly love myself; ALL of me, inside out. I did the inner work that was required even when I didn’t want to and I continue to focus on evolving and living my EPIC life.

According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?

There are a variety of reasons, I’m sure, however, I firmly believe that multibillion-dollar industries and certain brands make their money only because of our insecurities in how we look. Are you overweight? Battling acne? Stretch marks, saggy skin, excessive hair, or did someone you desperately wanted approval from call you fat or ugly? Do you understand where I am going with this?

So long as we compare ourselves to the photo-shopped ads and highlight reels, we are destined to sink lower and lower into self-loathing thoughts and behaviour.

The more we entertain the idea of a product being our ticket to feeling better we will continue to give our power away and struggle to see our worth; to truly accept ourselves and love ourselves: pimples, stray hairs, and all. We get to rewrite the story in our own minds about what beauty is to us and how incredibly awesome we are.

To some, the concept of learning to truly understand and “love yourself,” may seem like a cheesy or trite concept. But it is not. Can you share with our readers a few reasons why learning to love yourself it’s truly so important?

The primary reason I believe learning how to love yourself is important is because your life has meaning — you — have a purpose here. You are beautiful in your uniqueness. You are so deserving of feeling good about yourself, who you are and what you look like.

A genuine love for your life and appreciation of everything that makes you, you, changes the trajectory of your existence.

You can shift from feeling down about yourself, your body, your finances, your life, and step into feeling good about those things when you stop beating yourself up and start having compassion for everything you have been through, have accomplished, and have yet to do in this lifetime.

Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?

From personal experience, I think it has everything to do with low self-esteem and lack of self-respect. When we truly love ourselves and value ourselves we do not tolerate anything less than what we believe we deserve.

I highly recommend you start asking yourself what kind of relationships do you desire? What draws you to others? What qualities attract you and why? Start exploring and get to learn about yourself.

Too often, people say, oh, it’s just the way I am — without realizing that they hold the power to change their life at any given moment.

When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?

Absolutely! Self-reflection is a powerful way to identify what you value and to learn from lessons and relationships. It is important that you don’t rehash things but seek to learn from your past.

A significant piece of the self-love puzzle is owning your role in relationships and life events, while forgiving yourself for things you have done and releasing the shame in order to live lighter, more free.

I am constantly asking myself questions, and meditating, journaling, expanding as a woman; there are many moments where I have had to assess my behavior and get honest about whether or not it was aligned with who I want to be and life I want to live. It is safe and natural for us to want to feel better and live better — that requires self-honesty and pattern identification. We get to write and speak our life into existence and it’s a beautiful gift. You must make the decision first, that you do indeed, want to change.

A few journal prompts are:

What patterns am I repeating in my intimate relationship that are outdated and no longer belong?

What do I need to release right now in order to show up in my relationships as the person I want to be?

What am I afraid of?

So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?

It is super important to learn how to enjoy your own company. I personally, require a lot of alone time. I learned how to appreciate my time alone with my thoughts, and to value quality time to connect within.

How much time alone each person needs will vary, of course, however, I suggest experimenting with things like breath work, meditation, mirror work, taking yourself to lunch, sitting and reading a book without your phone beside you, listening to a podcast without multi-tasking, walking in nature, and practicing mindfulness like never before.

Knowing yourself at an intimate level is priceless and will completely change your life. Activate your self-care and awareness as you really get to know who you are and what matters to you and watch your health and your success evolve.

How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?

As I wrote above, it changes every single thing. When you value yourself and fully know yourself, you can trust yourself. You feel more confident in making decisions, implementing boundaries, and pursuing things that add more joy to you life.

In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?

Get to know themselves first and assess your belief system. Show up as yourself — proud of who you are and certain of your worthiness to have everything you desire and so-much-more!

Imagine a world where we all love and accept ourselves, and value ourselves so that respecting others comes natural and we all spread more kindness? Imagine that!!

Here is the main question of our discussion. What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?

  1. l actively engage with and build my spiritual muscle. God is the centre of my life. I have found that believing in something greater than myself has allowed me to have faith in possibilities and helped me through some dark days.
  2. I meditate and journal every morning. Learning how to be still and present in the moment was a game-changer for me. Meditating can be an effective way to learn how to appreciate your body, amongst other things, and is a powerful way to get to know yourself. Journaling is useful as a gratitude exercise and reflective exercise.
    There is no right or wrong way to do either of these and that’s also why I love to play around with different techniques, breath work, writing affirmations, et cetera.
  3. I work out and move my body because I respect it. When you can accept yourself — all of you — you are able to have more compassion and love for yourself. It doesn’t matter what you weigh right now or what your activity level is.
    Moving your body feels good! Start appreciating your mobility and focus on the things you do like about yourself. Use exercise as a way to show your body respect not to punish it for eating junk foods! It’s a total vibe.
  4. I eat well. We truly are what we eat! Allow yourself to experience pleasure in fueling your body. Eat for health, enjoy a variety of foods and stop restricting yourself from enjoying your meals. Food affects your mood. Choose wisely and drink more water!
  5. I have solid boundaries and keep my circle small. I am very intentional about my friendships. I want to be surrounded by high quality people and there’s no apologies about that. Surround yourself with people who energize you vs. deplete you and watch your life change.

If you are constantly surrounded by people who put themselves or others down, no wonder you feel like crap. Be aware of who you are giving your time and energy to. I go into deeper detail on how to do this in my book Primetime Success. The better you feel the better you attract and we all want to feel good, right?

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?

To be honest, my own books because I have lived through the lessons and applied the practical strategies to learn how to love myself and transform my life. I know they work!

Also, anything Abraham Hicks related, Ed Mylett, or the work of the great Louise Hay (RIP).

I constantly read and listen to podcasts that help me improve my character, my health, my marriage and family, and my business.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…

The self-care junkie movement. I want every woman and man to learn how to truly love themselves and to teach that to their children. Let’s change our world one conversation, one decision, one relationship at a time by starting wth loving ourselves so that we can be healthy and spread more love to others.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by?

I am a quote junkie! One of my favorites has always been from the movie The Lion King.

“Remember who you are.”

Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?

It’s a powerful reminder for me whenever I feel scared, nervous, or feel like

I have been overlooked for something I wanted, to remember who I am. I refuse to be defined y other people’s opinions.

Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!

Thank you! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to share!

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