Debbie Fay On 5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker
An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis
Turn your focus 180°: A successful presentation is not about the speaker. It’s all about the audience. They know it, and in order to be successful, the speaker must know it too. From the minute we begin building our presentation, we must do it with our audience in mind. What do they care about? What are their goals and/or challenges as relates to our topic? How much do they know about our topic? Do they care? Do they have misconceptions we’ll need to dispel? Lastly, what are 5 reasons our topic is important to them?
At some point in our lives, many of us will have to give a talk to a large group of people. What does it take to be a highly effective public speaker? How can you improve your public speaking skills? How can you overcome a fear of speaking in public? What does it take to give a very interesting and engaging public talk? In this interview series called “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker” we are talking to successful and effective public speakers to share insights and stories from their experience. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Debbie Fay.
Debbie Fay is the founder of bespeak presentation solutions, LLC. providing public speaking coaching, consulting and training to businesses worldwide since 2006. Bespeak’s clients include: Fiserv, BNY Mellon Bank, US Fund for UNICEF, and Sabra Dipping Products, as well as countless entrepreneurs, artists and authors. Fay is a frequent contributor to forbes.com and the author of “NAIL IT. Create and deliver presentations that connect, compel and convince.”, hailed by Kirkus reviews as, “ Compassionate, positive encouragement for speakers who need to improve their games.”
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up mostly being the “new kid”. We moved 11 times in 14 years. Twice we moved to a different state in the middle of a school year. Twice my family moved while I was away at a camp. (The joke was that they were trying to lose me, but I kept finding them.) I mostly enjoyed moving. Whenever we got to our new home, my mother would tell my sister and me, “Go knock on doors and see if anyone has kids your age to play with.” And we did.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?
This would be a part of my growing up as well. I have been involved in theater since I could walk and talk. When I was very young, my father would put “West Side Story” or “Oklahoma” or “My Fair Lady” on the record player and dance and sing around our living room before he went to work. Then I would play those same albums and dance and sing around the living room. But as much as I loved to be on stage, I also loved to direct others. From about 9 years old whenever we went to visit my cousins in Columbus, Ohio, I would insist on directing them in a performance of “The Sound of Music”. I refer to them as my first (barely willing) coachees.
My professional career was in corporate education, and I acted in community and local theater when I could. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I began a talent show at my children’s elementary school and became known as “the talent show lady”. I LOVED getting the kids (and eventually even their parents and teachers) on stage.
When I was in my early forties, I found myself about to be divorced and a single mother of three. My dream for about a decade had been to be a public speaking coach, but it felt like the more responsible path would be to teach in the public schools so I would have the same hours and vacation time as my kids. After reaching a dead end on the teaching front I took a deep breath and jumped into public speaking coaching — and I’ve never looked back — or been happier.
Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I can’t name just one! The amazing thing about this career is that I have had endless interesting clients. It is their stories that move and motivate me — and always I am learning new things. One of the presentations I worked on with Ed Lloyd, then COO/CFO of the US Fund for UNICEF, was a board presentation to gain approval for a new funding vehicle for UNICEF. (Not only did I know nothing about finance, I had to take Algebra 2 over in college (for no credit) because my math scores to be admitted into the teaching program were so low!) I learned SO much working on that presentation, which won board approval, and now Ed’s funding vehicle is an essential part of UNICEF’s funding platform.
I’ve worked with Nye Lubricants, a company that makes custom lubricants for everything from NASA space vehicles to automobiles to thermostats. When Nye was founded, they used whale oil as a lubricant!
I’ve also had the great good fortune to work for Tauck, a family-owned premiere group travel company. Working with them I have had the MOST amazing and interesting experiences. I’ve worked with everyone from their leadership to their various departments, to their Tauck directors (tour directors) everyone of whom are absolutely unparalleled in their dedication to one another and to their guests.
I’ve also learned a lot about what holds people back from public speaking. Typically, people think that they are poor speakers (deliverers of the message). What I have found in 15+ years of working with hundreds of people is that it is not the speaker, it is the content and its structure (or lack thereof) that is the problem.
My career has opened my eyes from a geographic perspective as well. I have been all over the country to speak and to work with clients, as well as to Switzerland, Germany, Canada, and the UK!
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
About the third year I was in business I had the opportunity to speak at the NY business Expo. Talk about a thrill! This was a dream come true! It was held at the Jacob Javitz center in NYC. Each “break-out room” was a space enclosed by heavy curtains. Each “room” held over 200 seats. As I was getting ready to give my presentation, the director of the event came to me and asked if I could step in for a speaker who couldn’t be there, whose subject was marketing for entrepreneurs. “I don’t know anything about marketing.” I said, “I’m a public speaking coach.” A friend of mine who was with me that day said, “Debbie. You ARE an entrepreneur, and you’re building your own business through marketing. You’re HERE.” “Holy cow,” I thought, “He’s right!” The director was literally describing me and I was turning down an opportunity to get in front of another BIG NYC audience that day! I agreed to give the presentation. Thankfully, I had a few hours between my own presentation and the marketing one. I sat down, created an outline, created a simple PowerPoint deck, practiced it out loud, and off I went! The marketing presentation was a big success and my day at the NY business EXPO was exponentially more amazing than I had thought it would be.
The lesson I learned, and it was an important one, was that I needed to keep my ears and eyes open for possibilities. I was completely closed off to the idea of giving that second presentation until my friend opened my eyes.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I have so many people to be grateful to for my start. When I began my business, I had ZERO business connections. I knew no one. My closest childhood friend, Lisa Awrey, helped me discover my company name. My brother, David, guided me through my first website and logo, created by Tracie Valentino, to whom I will be eternally grateful. My sister, Diane Helbig was a tremendous resource. She had recently started her own business, coaching small business owners after a career of sales and management. She was my touch stone, my advisor and my cheerleader. (She still is.) My husband, Michael, is an organizational psychologist who had done great research around persuasive presentations. He gave me his research and persuasive presentation format to share. My friend Marc Tannenbaum, whom I met in a networking group, was a wonderful advisor to me.
Sharyn Cannon, who I had met through mutual friends, invited me to come speak to the people of Tauck, at their weekly meeting. I gave my “road show” presentation; “What makes great presenters and great presentations” and that sparked over a decade so far of working with the incredible people at Tauck.
You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging and intimidating. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?
This is hilarious now, but when I was starting out I thought there was a public speaking coach on every corner. (Don’t ask me why.) The truth is there are WAY more people who need help than there are those of us out there helping. If you have a passion for helping others be better public speakers, as I do, get out there and do it!
What drives you to get up every day and give your talks? What is the main empowering message that you aim to share with the world?
The presentations I give are all about how to be a presenter who gets heard and gets results. What drives me to get up every day and not only give my talks but work with my clients is my love for helping people be heard. That is my company tag line and the thing that brings me joy. I have had the amazing good fortune to help those who were fearful speakers to not only overcome their fear but seek out speaking opportunities! I’ve helped entrepreneurs with pitches that have brought them start-up funding, non-profits large and small deliver pitch presentations that have awarded them millions in donations, I’ve coached senior execs so they could be seen as CFOs and CEOs. Whenever I hear from a client after they’ve delivered a presentation and NAILED IT, I am soaring. Sometimes even brought to tears.
You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?
Ahh, at the moment I am doing quite a bit of presentations training, which I love. Seeing the skill development of a group of presenters in a small amount of time is so so gratifying. I am also working with an entrepreneur who has a great start-up. Together we rebuilt her pitch presentation and rehearsed it and she has gone on to deliver it countless times with tremendous results, and we’re now working on the next iteration. Of course, I’m giving presentations to various organizations and companies as well. Given the uncertainty of our world due to the pandemic, I’m giving a talk that focused on delivering difficult messages and successfully persuading your audience to see things your way.
I also have a new motivational presentation in the works; “Buy a ticket.”. I am looking forward to launching that later this year.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I have written in big letters in my office, “I am. I can. I will.” These words were part of a commencement speech I gave at a business school years ago. I sent the speech to my mother-in-law, and she wrote back, ‘You know, this is about you!” That hadn’t occurred to me until that point. These words always remind me that I am capable of great things, I can do anything I put my mind to, and I will go on to have great accomplishments. Being an entrepreneur is not easy. There have been plenty of days in the last 15+ years that I have felt disappointed, discouraged, even terrified. But then I look at those words and take a deep breath and think, “I got this.”
Ok, thank you for all that. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker?” Please share a story or example for each.
- Turn your focus 180°: A successful presentation is not about the speaker. It’s all about the audience. They know it, and in order to be successful, the speaker must know it too. From the minute we begin building our presentation, we must do it with our audience in mind. What do they care about? What are their goals and/or challenges as relates to our topic? How much do they know about our topic? Do they care? Do they have misconceptions we’ll need to dispel? Lastly, what are 5 reasons our topic is important to them?
Different audiences require different talking points.
For example, if I am giving a presentation about nailing your presentations to salespeople, I will focus on pitch presentations. I’ll talk about value propositions and the importance of discovery. If my audience is CFOs, I’ll take the time to convince them that they need to be speaking in language their audience can understand. I’ll talk about the importance of analogies in getting complex ideas across.
2. Do the heavy lifting: It’s your job as the presenter to make things as easy as possible for your audience. This means you must give your presentation structure. I’m a big fan of the Rule of Threes; in fact, I refer to it as the Magic Rule of Threes. The rule of threes is simply the idea that humans love threes. Past, present and future, here there and everywhere, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Three Blind Mice, three strikes and you’re out, the genie grants you three wishes… it goes on and on. If we know humans love threes, it makes sense to organize our presentation in three “buckets”. If we tell the audience the labels for those buckets, and go through them one by one, we make our audience’s job a lot easier.
3. Bespeaking the audience’s language: Presenters often make the mistake of thinking if they load their presentation with a ton of jargon and acronyms and 12 syllable words they will be seen as a super-smarty-pants. Unfortunately, speaking in language your audience doesn’t understand only makes them feel stupid. And who likes to feel stupid? No one. In fact, feeling stupid makes us angry, and that anger needs a target. “Who made me feel stupid?” we ask ourselves. The speaker did. Now I am angry with the speaker. We need to be speaking in language an 8- or 88-year-old can understand.
4. Create visuals that are aids to the audience: This is my obsession. In order for our audience to be able to remember our presentations, they must first be able to take in and make sense of our presentation. Slide after slide of written content will actually prevent that from happening. Why? Because we read and listen with the same processor in our working memory. When we read something, our inner voice reads it to our inner ear. And we can only listen to one voice at a time. When we are reading, we CANNOT hear what the presenter is saying.
In fact, when we are confronted with slides with tons of text, we must make a decision. We either read the slide or we listen to the speaker. We cannot do both.
The good news is that if we use images, charts graphs, photos, and icons, along with our narrative, we can help the audience take in and make sense of our message and thus remember it! Successful presenters know to step away from the bullet points and use images instead.
5. PRACTICE OUT LOUD: This is the number one must-do for successful presentations. We must practice out loud. In our heads does not count. In fact, the first time through I call a “stumble through”. It’s not even a practice. The first time through our presentation is when we figure out our transitions between ideas. It’s when we see that a slide is in the wrong place, or doesn’t belong a all, or that we need another slide to help us tell the story. We know none of these things until we talk the presentation through OUT LOUD. Once we’ve got the pieces in the right places we can practice OUT LOUD just a few more times, so we’re confident about what we’re going to say and what comes next. Successful presenters PRACTICE OUT LOUD.
As you know, many people are terrified of speaking in public. Can you give some of your advice about how to overcome this fear?
First, it’s important to remember that a presentation is NOT a performance, it’s a communication. Typically, when you’re presenting it’s because you have an important idea to get across. THAT’S what you want to focus on. It goes back to one of my bespeakisms — turn your focus 180°. When you’re in front of an audience, is you’re telling yourself, “I hate this, I’m sweating, they can see me sweating. Now I’m shaking. This is terrible. I stink at this.” You’ve got to (metaphorically speaking) smack yourself across the face. Your focus is on exactly the wrong person. It’s NOT about you, it’s about your audience. Guess what? Unless your mom is in the audience, no one there cares about you. They’re not there for you; they’re there for themselves. Give them the information they’ve come for and they will love you.
Second, you MUST practice your presentation out loud. I absolutely guarantee that if you want to be an exponentially less nervous speaker, PRACTICE OUT LOUD. In your head DOES NOT COUNT. We all sound like a combination of Steve Jobs and Oprah Winfrey in our heads. Once it starts coming out of our mouths, not so fantastic.
You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Every year my theme word is: compassion. As much as I try to be compassionate to others, I know I could do better. I think if we could really listen to one another and hear each other the world would be a better place.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
Meryl Streep is my acting idol. I have always dreamed of meeting her one day.
This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!
