Domenica Personti of Recovery Centers of America On How To Achieve Great Success After Recovering From An Addiction

An Interview With Penny Bauder

Share your struggle with someone you trust. Your loved ones are probably aware that you are struggling but may not know why and they want to help. They want to walk alongside you through this journey. If this is not an option, find a nearby AA/NA meeting or church group. When you engage in those programs you will be met with compassion, connection and kinship — people who have walked through the fire and want to help you heal and find peace.

When people are trapped in a severe addiction it can feel like there is no way out and there is no hope for a better future. This is of course not true. Millions of people are in recovery from an addiction and they go on to lead successful, fulfilling and inspiring lives.

Authority Magazine started a new series about women who were able to achieve great success after recovering from an addiction. The premise of the series is to offer hope and inspiration to people who feel trapped in similar circumstances. As a part of this series we had the pleasure to interview Domenica Personti.

Domenica Personti, MS, LCDP, CADC is the CEO of Recovery Centers of America Capital Region, an inpatient and outpatient substance use disorder treatment facility outside Washington D.C. that recently was named a 2021 Best U.S. Addiction Treatment Facility in Maryland by Newsweek magazine.

Personti has the unique perspective of a person who has recovered from significant behavioral health challenges, survived domestic violence, and provides substance use disorder treatment and mental health services. She is a Trauma-Informed Care Trainer and Master Implementation Specialist as well as an Overdose Prevention Trainer, Mental Health First Aid USA instructor, and trainer for Recovery-Based Peer Support Programs.

Personti has more than 25 years of experience in behavioral health and specializes in program development, implementation, quality assurance and consultation. She obtained her master’s degree in mental health counseling from Springfield College, after obtaining a bachelor’s degree in human services with a criminal justice focus. Personti is a Licensed Chemical Dependency Professional, a Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, a Certified Co-Occurring Disorders Professional-Diplomat, and a Certified Prevention Specialist.

Bona fides notwithstanding, Personti’s ability to connect with the population she serves is what makes her successful. As part of Recovery Centers of America’s community of recovery specialists, she found an ideal place for channeling her energy and expertise to make a positive impact in others’ lives.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?

I was raised by my mother in Wilmington, Delaware, but I spent my weekends and summers with my grandparents in a rural town called Galena in Maryland. My grandparents had a big influence on my life. My grandfather was a mechanic and always had a boat. He taught me about cars and I used to take lawnmower engines apart as a hobby. My grandmother was constantly outside, rescuing animals and taking nature walks. My early childhood was peaceful but as I got older, I started struggling with my mental health. When I was 10, one of my classmates died of meningitis. No one talked to me about it, which led to years of anxiety. I was convinced I was going to die, too.

Also, I’m bi-racial and there were no other mixed-race kids in my school or my community. As I was becoming an adolescent, I struggled with my identity — why was my hair so frizzy and why was my skin a different color than everyone else’s? — and I always felt very out of place. I didn’t know my biological father until much later in life.

At age 10, I was diagnosed with ADHD and later depression. I was sent to an alternative school when I was 14 where most of my day was spent in treatment. At a time in my life when I just wanted to be with friends and do normal things, I felt like I was on an island, having to confront trauma I was too young to understand.

Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers how you were initially introduced to your addiction? What drew you to the addiction you had?

During my high school years, I didn’t like myself. I would do anything to soothe my suffering and take me out of myself. I acted out, I attracted the wrong people, and I started smoking and drinking alcohol. From age 14 to 18, I mostly used recreationally. As a young adult, I was prescribed benzodiazepines for anxiety and, like many people that come to our RCA treatment centers, I abused these very addictive drugs. At 18, I was arrested for shoplifting and simple assault. They tested my urine for drugs and alcohol and that’s when I found out I was pregnant. I was placed in a court-ordered diversion program. I simply did not have the skills to manage my depression, anxiety and other challenges. I had no emotional regulation, no anger management, no ability to communicate. I acted on impulse. I went into a program called Bayard House for Women while I was pregnant, and really started to turn things around but that was short-lived. As time went on, my alcoholism worsened because drinking is socially acceptable. I could drink and no one would judge me. And that’s how I tricked myself into believing I could live with addiction.

As you know, addictions are often an attempt to mask an underlying problem. In your experience, what do you think you were really masking or running from in the first place? Can you explain?

Untreated depression, anxiety and ADHD were the source of my problems. Addiction promises you everything until it takes it all away. No one in my life understood my underlying trauma and I didn’t either. My grandmother was the only one who showed me compassion, and when others tried, I didn’t know how to accept it. But I ultimately disappointed her. She couldn’t understand how her intelligent granddaughter with so much potential let this happen. But I did not see myself the way she saw me. A person can’t recover from addiction until they get to a place of peace within themselves and I was not there. I had no kinship or community. Using drugs and alcohol makes you feel like you’re at least connected to something — as sick as that sounds.

Can you share what the lowest point in your addiction and life was?

There were many low points. I had a five-year low point after signing guardianship of my daughter over to my mother from when she was a baby until she was a 5-year-old. Another was when I was homeless, living in a house with several people who were always high. One of them threatened to kill us all. He held me at gunpoint and forced me call to my mother — who was hours away with my grandmother at the time — and tell her she was never going to hear from me again. Traumatizing my mother and my grandmother that day was definitely a low point.

Was there a tipping point that made you decide that you needed to change? Can you please share the story?

Once I completed probation, I became a peer counselor in the Department of Corrections in 2002. But I wasn’t receiving therapy or working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I was also in a long-term, abusive relationship. It didn’t take long for me to return to all the negative behaviors, including drinking in excess.

The tipping point for me was when I woke up in a ditch on the side of the road with a cop knocking on my car window. I had no clue why I was even in that area. I knew I was either going to lose everything I’d worked for when I was sober or die. I reached out to a doctor I that I trusted, and he worked with me to get the help I needed. I also got honest with my family about how bad the depression, anxiety and alcoholism really were.

Can you tell us the story about how you were able to overcome your addiction?

When I embraced the fact that I truly had an issue with alcohol and got honest about the destruction it caused, I decided to not only take on my underlying mental health issues but to do it with spirituality. Court-ordered programs with a probation officer generally don’t include therapeutic interventions. They sometimes offer a watered-down version of the 12 Steps of AA/NA, but I knew I needed more than that. Having a spiritual belief and practice made the difference for me. I resisted AA for years because I thought it was all about God. I was angry and didn’t understand how God could allow people to suffer. But I realized I needed to have faith that I could deal with anything in order to recover. I had to get to a place where I said, “Even if …” and not just, “What if …?”

More than anything, being of service in the field of addiction treatment has helped me manage my own issues with addiction. Everything I experienced, even the lowest points, led me to where I am today and strengthened my ability to help others suffering from similar issues.

As the CEO of Recovery Centers of America Capital Region, I find purpose and meaning in motivating others on their path to recovery. This spring, I will have 10 years of continuous sobriety.

How did you reconcile within yourself and to others the pain that addiction caused to you and them? Can you please share a story about that?

I first had to come to terms with my untreated depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges. My refusal to address my anxiety and depression caused a lot of harm to others and to me. I did not treat my mother well as a result. And my alcoholism caused harm to my kids. I was not always present in their lives.

Today, I try to make up for it through service, as a parent, a mentor and a leader. I am not a desk CEO. I run groups at my treatment center. I have an open door policy. I can sit across the table and say, “I get it.” There’s power in being a living, breathing, walking testimony that treatment works. I also now have a good relationship with all six of my kids.

When you stopped your addiction, what did you do to fill in all the newfound time you had?

The thing about people who struggle with addiction is we do everything in excess. For a while, I had to stay constantly busy. I was not comfortable just being with myself because I hadn’t done enough work yet. I skated roller derby for a while. I volunteered, I studied, I did street outreach. I became a workaholic. But being so busy meant I missed my kids’ activities. Today, I have much better work-life balance. I’ve become more mindful and focused on my wellness. I also have two dogs that I adore: a Havipoo who has worked as an emotional support dog at Recovery Centers of America and a Cane Corso puppy. I recently became a grandmother, with another grandbaby due next May. I’ll be a young grandmother but I’m looking forward to my grandchildren occupying a lot of my time.

What positive habits have you incorporated into your life, post addiction, to keep you on the right path?

Sometimes it’s tempting to think it’s been nine years and I’m good. As quick as that thought comes, you can be right back where you started. Staying in recovery is constant work. Every day, I meditate, I journal and I pray.

Can you tell us a story about the success that you achieved after you began your recovery?

Earning both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees is a great source of pride for me considering where I was as a teenager and young adult. I also hold several certifications in the treatment of behavioral health issues and addiction specifically. Several years ago under the Obama administration, I presented at the White House for the Annual Association of Prosecuting Attorney’s Conference, speaking about my advocacy work for women and children involved in the justice system. All of that said, serving as the CEO of a leading addiction treatment center is my success story. Recovery Centers of America’s mission is to save lives. Having a key role in achieving that mission is extremely fulfilling for me.

What character traits have you transferred from your addiction to your current achievements? Please share both the positive and negative.

As I mentioned, I do everything in excess. The upside of that is I won’t stop fighting for the people who need my help, which explains why I adopted one of my daughter’s friends and a baby boy I was fostering who is now 4 years old. The downside is I don’t always know when to stop and take care of myself. I assume this is a balancing act I will manage for the rest of my life.

On the positive side, I learned a lot in recovery about what I need to be fulfilled. Compassion, connection and kinship are the three key ingredients to sustainable recovery. I accept things the way they are and surrender what I can’t control. That’s what keeps me sane and sober.

Can you share five pieces of advice that you would give to a person who is struggling with some sort of addiction but ashamed to speak about it or get help?

1. Share your struggle with someone you trust. Your loved ones are probably aware that you are struggling but may not know why and they want to help. They want to walk alongside you through this journey. If this is not an option, find a nearby AA/NA meeting or church group. When you engage in those programs you will be met with compassion, connection and kinship — people who have walked through the fire and want to help you heal and find peace.
2. Talk to your medical provider about what the best options are for you. There are medications available that are safe and effective for withdrawal and maintenance purposes. Never try to detox on your own — not only is it extremely uncomfortable but it can be dangerous.
3. Don’t focus on what you think you will lose by going into treatment (job, car, apartment, etc.). If you continue down the current path, you will lose it all anyway. Short-term disability, FMLA and other resources can help you while you are in treatment. And there is support available if insurance status or ability to pay is an obstacle.
4. Have faith and trust the process. It will be uncomfortable, but discomfort will bring about profound change. Believe that the universe is working in your favor even though it may not feel like it. Once the dark clouds clear, the lessons and gifts will be revealed. We don’t always get what we want but we always get what we need!
5. Get a sponsor, recovery coach or peer support person. They are there to assist you whether you are sober (yet) or not. There is a myth that such supports are only for sober people. Individuals in recovery are always in service to others. We are constantly giving to others the beautiful gift of recovery that was so freely given to us.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

Hands down, without a second thought, it would be Gary Vaynerchuk. I have followed Gary for years. Even though he isn’t in this field — he is an entrepreneur — Gary is one of the most inspiring humans to walk the planet. He is a down-to-earth guy, with a brilliant mind and a heart to help others. We as clinicians and behavioral health providers have so much vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue, many times we are so busy helping others, we forget to take care of ourselves. So, when I am feeling defeated or at a low point, listening to Gary’s videos or reading his posts reminds me to be my authentic self and continue doing this life-saving work. I am inspired by him!

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Check out Recovery Centers of America Capital Region via https://recoverycentersofamerica.com/locations/waldorf-maryland/.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.