Dr Amy Langsam On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder

Seek a support group for loved ones of those struggling with eating disorders. These are often called “multi-family therapy groups”, which are psychoeducational in nature. To find a group near you, call a local eating disorder clinic.

Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food, but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.

In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding, and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Amy Langsam.

Dr. Amy Langsam is a licensed clinical psychologist who treats women who struggle with women’s mental health. Dr. Amy has held positions at some of the country’s most renowned inpatient eating disorder treatment facilities, including The Renfrew Center, Princeton Medical Center, and The Women’s Program at Princeton House Behavioral Health. In addition to her practice, Dr. Amy serves as an adjunct professor of Psychology at La Salle University, where she supervises graduate students in the Weight and Eating program, and has contributed to two widely-used medical textbooks.

Dr. Amy Langsam is a licensed clinical psychologist who treats women who struggle with infertility, parenting-related challenges and transition to motherhood, perinatal mood disorders, eating disorders, trauma, relationship difficulties, anxiety, and depression.

Dr. Amy believes that the most important element of effective psychotherapy is a trusting relationship between the client and therapist. She takes a collaborative, supportive, and empathetic approach to therapy. She is intensively trained in Dialetical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and often utilizes this approach in treatment. Additionally, she integrates Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and client-centered interventions into her practice that are empirically supported to provide symptom relief.

Dr. Amy has worked at several hospitals and college counseling centers, including the University of Pennsylvania, Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, and Drexel University. She has held positions at some of the country’s most renowned inpatient eating disorder treatment facilities, including The Renfrew Center, Princeton Medical Center, and The Women’s Program at Princeton House Behavioral Health.

In addition to her practice, Dr. Amy serves as an adjunct professor of Psychology at La Salle University, where she supervises graduate students in the Weight and Eating program. She will soon publish her first book, The Third Layer of the Cake, a story for children about gestational carriers and their role in creating families.

Dr. Amy contributed to two widely used medical textbooks. She co-authored a chapter titled “Psychosocial Aspects of Childhood Obesity” in Epidemiology of Obesity in Children and Adolescents, and co-authored the chapter titled “Treatment of Night Eating Syndrome” in Pathways to Obesity and Main Roads to Recovery.

Dr. Amy is a member of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association.​ She is a graduate of American University in Washington, D.C., and received her master’s degree and Doctorate in Psychology (PsyD) from La Salle University with a concentration in health psychology.

She resides outside of Philadelphia with her husband and children and enjoys staying active through tennis, yoga, and time outdoors with her family.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

The words I live by are very similar to what led me to my career in psychology. Regardless of life circumstance, or how someone’s life may look from the outside, everyone faces challenges and times of turmoil. I try to remain mindful every day that we never know what those around us are going through, and I encourage clients — and my own family — to bring the mindset to every social interaction possible.

In my practice, I feel fortunate that I can help clients through their most challenging times and act as an ally as they rebuild or stabilize their lives. As a psychologist, this is immensely rewarding for me.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Right now I am leading workshops for the families of young children and adolescents. The focus is empowering parents with language and tools to encourage healthy attitudes towards food and prevent eating challenges later on. In these workshops, I encourage parents to not only talk about how to speak with their children, but to examine their own attitudes towards food and childhood experiences. I believe the current dialogue surrounding body positivity is a step in the right direction; my hope is that my workshops will help future generations avoid the impactful childhood messaging that has plagued some of my adult clients.

Additionally, I am training to work with women who are struggling with infertility and embarking on motherhood via surrogacy. My focus has always been women’s mental health, and there are remarkable themes that carry over from eating disorders into a myriad of other areas of women’s issues. One being relinquishing control and the anxiety associated with that loss of control.

According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?

I believe that the realities of life today — primarily, the internet and social media — have largely contributed to the widespread issue of eating disorders plaguing society. Today, comparison to others is near constant. Since the “selfie” began in 2014 and cameras were added to smartphones, focus on self-image and how others perceive us has been exacerbated. Younger people are especially prone to falling victim to photoshopped images and trying to curate one’s own body to adhere to unrealistic beauty standards.

The Covid-19 Pandemic has also played a factor in the increase in both anxiety and eating disorder diagnoses. Research has shown that the impact of the pandemic has been linked to an increase in eating disorder-related issues, some reasons including the barrier to treatment during that time, isolation, and of course the general rise in anxiety. Across all age groups, eating disorders can bring individuals a “perceived” sense of control when they feel out of control — something that many lost seemingly overnight when Covid uprooted our lives.

Based on your insight, what can concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?

Everyone — from individuals to communities — can help address the systemic issues that feed eating disorders.

Individuals, primarily family members and loved ones, can use mindful language surrounding food and bodies in the home. Educating one’s self with credible resources will aid in this area.

Medical providers can seek more training and education surrounding conversations on weight and eating to reduce shame in their patients. This would also likely help to encourage regular visits to physicians, despite patients’ weight; patients in larger bodies tend to report that they avoid medical appointments, so they are not weight-shamed.

I believe corporations can work to integrate mental health and wellness into insurance policies. Additionally, they can strive to build awareness surrounding weight stigmas with new hires and current employees.

As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just control yourself”. What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness just like heart disease or schizophrenia?

Eating disorders are a serious, defined mental illness. They are not rooted in vanity, or simply a desire to lose weight, which is a common uneducated belief.

I think what may help others understand eating disorders is to consider their origin. Like other diseases, a root cause of an eating disorder can be identified with the help of psychotherapy. It is important for others to understand that eating disorders are often a coping mechanism for manifested trauma or anxiety. Eating disorders often present comorbid with other psychological disorders.

I think that advocacy from the loved ones of eating disorder patients and those who have recovered can be impactful in spreading awareness of eating disorders and educating the general public.

Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, can you share an example from your own experience?

1. Encourage those individuals struggling to seek help with a specialized therapist and offer assistance. Researching and calling providers can be a daunting task, so offering to help in this area may be appreciated for some.

2. Ask how you can best support them and offer a listening ear. This is crucial I believe in the process. Assuming you know how to support someone without asking can lead to them pushing you away and feeling misunderstood.

3. Do not form judgment and do not offer direct feedback on their eating habits. They know typically what they need or should do related to food, although it has become extremely difficult. Being given direct feedback about their eating behaviors can feel very punitive, although it can be very hard for loved ones to stay quiet around this.

4. Let them know you love and accept the person they are. Those struggling often are not feeling good about themselves and their behaviors. They also may be feeling like a disappointment to others. Sharing your unconditional love can be extremely important.

5. Seek a support group for loved ones of those struggling with eating disorders. These are often called “multi-family therapy groups”, which are psychoeducational in nature. To find a group near you, call a local eating disorder clinic.

How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?

Oftentimes, this is a gray area for loved ones. People tend to want to “fix” the problem immediately and fully. It is important to remind yourself that this is a struggle for your loved one. The eating disorder did not appear overnight and will not disappear overnight. Recovery is a process and takes time, and a crucial first step is the individual’s acknowledgment of their own disorder.

It is also essential to keep in mind that eating disorders are often a way to cope with feeling a sense of loss of control, and trying to persuade the person struggling with the disorder to give up their behaviors may be counterproductive, as they need to come to realization on their own and in their own time.

Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?

It may feel like no one can help or understand you — but this help exists. You do not need to live like this alone. There are many others struggling in very similar ways, and I hope that together we can find you the support you need to be the best version of yourself.

In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?

In my therapeutic work with eating disorder clients, I help them self-explore what they like about themselves and what they are good at. When recovering from an eating disorder, patients can feel a void in their lives. The eating disorder oftentimes becomes their identity and something they can control and feel “good at.” My goal is to help them find their true identity.

In DBT, a method I incorporate into my therapy sessions, we refer to this as “building mastery” which leads to increased self-confidence. Ultimately, we want to build a life that is full without their eating disorder.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?

I encourage anyone with an eating disorder or a loved one of someone with an eating disorder to visit and utilize NEDA, the National Eating Disorders Association. Additionally, some books I recommend include:

Surviving an Eating Disorder — Strategies for Family and Friends

Life without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too by Jenni Schaefer

Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationship with Food Through Myths, Metaphors, and Storytelling by Anita A. Johnston PhD

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Right now, I am offering group sessions to parents of both younger children (elementary school) and young adolescents (middle and early high school) in which I equip them with the tools to encourage body positivity in the home.

Many of my eating disorder patients can cite specific examples of their home life growing up that set them on a difficult trajectory with food. By educating parents and sharing positive language surrounding food and healthy habits with snacks and meals, I believe we can help future generations.

How can our readers continue to follow your work online?

Visit my website at dramylangsam.com.

Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!