Dr Elizabeth Lombardo: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Be empowered: While you cannot always control what is happening, you can always control your reaction to it. Realize that you are never helpless. There are two strategies to consider when things are not going well: Problem-focused and emotion-focused. Problem-focused coping refers to changing the problem or the situation. Emotion-focused coping means addressing your reaction to it. For example, let’s say a colleague at work has been treating you in an unkind manner. Problem-focused coping might include speaking to that person to get them to change, talking to HR, or spending less time with them. Emotion-focused coping might involve remembering that hurt people hurt and not personalizing their actions or making sure you are out of the Red Zone when you interact with them.

As a part of my series about the “5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo.

Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo is the authority on how to crush your inner critic so that you can live a life of purpose, fulfillment, and True Success™ which she has a book about titled “Get Out of the Red Zone”.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

In my first week of psychology school, while madly taking notes as the professor was speaking, a question popped into my mind. “Why do I have to get a Ph.D. in order to learn this? We all would benefit from better understanding how our mind works and how to help it work for instead of against us.”

What goes on in our minds impacts every single facet of our lives — including our mental well-being, physical health, relationships, and effectiveness at work. It became my life mission to share research-supported interventions in what I called bite-sized, digestible strategies. Specifically, I want the world to learn the tools to help optimize your mindset that we can all apply them no matter how busy we are and no matter what is going on in life.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

That’s a tough one. Since becoming a psychologist, I have had many interesting experiences, including frequent interviews on the Today Show, Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, and many other media outlets. I have met professional athletes, movie stars, and top musical singers. And yet when you asked me that question, what popped into my mind was working with a 15-year-old young man. I have a practice in sports psychology, and this client was coming to see me help his golf game. As you can imagine, your mindset plays a significant role in how successful you are in sports. I taught him a technique that he had practiced that week to help his putting. When he came back the next week, he told me how successful it was, and then you could almost see the light bulb going off in his mind when he asked, “can I use the same technique when I’m stressed out about a test?” YES! The revelation that the same skills to help him play golf better would also help him succeed in school was just a beautiful thing. That was one of the reasons I opened my newest business called EleVive, the tagline of which is “Elevate your mindset; thrive in life.” It is for teens and parents of teens to receive the mental skills training they need to thrive in life. Think about it, in school, we may learn to read and write, add and subtract, but when do we ever learn how to better manage stress? How to cultivate healthy self-confidence? How to strengthen perseverance and grit? That is what we do at EleVive.

Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?

While I have certainly made my fair share of mistakes in my career, the most humorous mistake I was involved in happened the first time I was on the Dr. Oz show. When Dr. Oz and I were coaching an audience member during dress rehearsal, we had a rather humorous event. Dr. Oz was sitting on the left of this audience member, and I was on the right. As we were going through the questions that would be asked, I heard something happening behind me. The next thing I know, I feel liquid dripping all over me, practically from head to toe. What happened was one of the stage crew had been pushing a cart with a beer can on it that was supposed to be used for another segment focused on how to optimize your barbecuing. Somehow the can of beer popped off the cart and landed on me. I was covered in beer, seemingly ruining my dress, and we were supposed to go live in about 45 minutes. Now, I could have freaked out, but I chose to find the humor in this event. Ever the gracious host, Dr. Oz was mortified that this had happened to one of his guests. While I could have easily gotten upset and concerned about my looks on TV, I decided to laugh it off. And within 25 minutes, my hair and make-up had been taken care of and my dress had somehow gotten dry cleaned. It was also a funny experience because I was thinking, Dr. Oz meets thousands of people every month. But how many people does he meet who have a beer spilled on them during dress rehearsal? I figured he might remember me, at least from that.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I have had many incredible mentors in my life, for all of whom I feel immense gratitude. One person who helped me get to where I am today is my husband. When I first met my husband, I was a physical therapist and really loved my work. But I realized that my true calling was to be a psychologist. That meant going back to school for five years in any other city. We continue to date throughout that time despite the geographical separation. And even lived in different cities our first year of marriage- he was in Dallas and I was in Houston. Luckily I was able to get home pretty much every weekend to be together. He has always been my biggest cheerleader throughout my schooling, starting my private practice, venturing into media and speaking, having the confidence in me and my abilities that I did not have yet. My husband was a very successful leader in his field. Currently, he is struggling with ALS and cannot move. But his positive attitude and unwavering belief in me and what I do continues to be an incredible gift.

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

Stop pushing through and take some time for yourself. Psychologists, and healthcare professionals in general, tend to be givers. They want to help other people and often put their self-care on the back burner. It is vital to prioritize your own well-being — mental, physical, social- to best help others. Don’t wait until it is too late and you are completely burned out, or your body has responded to the stress by developing a serious illness. Take time for yourself every day, scheduling it just like you do a meeting with a client.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

Help people get out of the Red Zone. The Red Zone happens when we experience high levels of stress or distress, which is the negative aspect of stress.

Distress is any emotion you don’t want, such as sadness, anger, worry, guilt, fear… Distress runs on a continuum from zero (no distress at all) to 10 out of 10 (the most distressed you’ve ever been). When we are at a seven out of 10 or higher, I call that the Red Zone. And when we’re in the Red Zone, we tend to act and think differently than when we are experiencing lower levels of distress.

A recent study by the American Psychological Association supports what most of us are probably experiencing. Stress rates are at an all-time high. Take steps to ensure that you and your entire team are getting out of the red zone. One way to do this is to ask how your team is doing.

After a Keynote I gave on the Red Zone a few weeks ago, I met with the executive team for some group coaching. After learning about the Red Zone, the CFO of the company told me that she asked everyone before starting a meeting where they were on the stress scale from 0 to 10, including herself. She shared with me that she had a crucial meeting with her financial analyst, who reported being at a nine out of 10 on stress. “I knew he was not going to be useful to me with his Red Zone brain, so I rescheduled the meeting and gave him a gift certificate to GrubHub. We met the next day and had a great meeting.” By prioritizing the health — both mental and physical — of your organization, showing empathy and care, and taking steps to best support those around you, you can create a culture where employees are even more engaged.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Mental health is often looked at in binary terms; those who are healthy and those who have mental illness. The truth, however, is that mental wellness is a huge spectrum. Even those who are “mentally healthy” can still improve their mental wellness. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to improve or optimize our mental wellness.

Absolutely — even those who are “mentally healthy” can improve their mental wellness. That’s like someone who is physically healthy can still improve their physical health. If someone is healthy, we don’t say, “don’t worry about working out and feel free to eat all the junk you want.” We encourage them to continue engaging in healthy habits. The same thing can be said for our mental well-being.

Here are five steps to improve mental wellness:

1. Get out of the Red Zone: So many people are basically living in the Red Zone right now. They are consistently at distress levels of 7/10 or higher. And this leads to mental health issues, burnout, relationship strain, problems being effective at work, difficulties sleeping and a host of other problems which can contribute to even more distress. The key is to get out and stay out of the Red Zone. There are countless ways to do that, including going for a walk, listening to music, spending time with a friend or pet, meditation, prayer, playing a sport, engaging in a hobby, cooking, gardening… So many times when people take a break, they don’t recuperate their energy. Watching the news, spending hours on social media, even binge-watching shows can lead to more distress and loneliness. So, find activities that help you feel less distress and more positive energy.
2. Have fun with a loved one: Spending time with a close friend or family membet can buffer the impact of stress and help you feel more connected and happy. And, remember, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, including their mental well-being. Spend time with loved ones who elevate your mood. One client started spending more time with a friend who made her laugh. Just being with this friend helped my client feel happier and connected. She began to have more energy at work and even got out of bed with a more positive attitude.
3. Stick a microphone in your brain and determine if what you hear is accurate and helpful: Scientists estimate we have about 60,000 thoughts every day, most of which we are not even aware of. And yet, what you say to yourself has a direct impact on your mental well-being. A thought such as “I made one mistake in my presentation; I am a complete failure” will elicit a different emotional reaction than “I can learn from my mistakes and be even better next time.”
   Here’s what to do. Write out what you are saying to yourself when you feel stressed. Spend 20 minutes of uninterrupted time journaling what is going on in your mind. Then look at what you wrote. How accurate and helpful is your thinking? If your best friend told you what you wrote, would you agree with them or offer a different perspective? Gaining control of your mind will help you optimize your mental well-being.
4. Prioritize your energy: How you spend your time and focus (your energy) directly impacts your mental well-being. Are you spending most of your energy complaining, feeling like a victim, speaking negatively about others or yourself? If so, your psychological health will suffer. Identify what and who are important to you. Be purpose-driven. Focus your energy on entities that are meaningful to you. Set boundaries and stick to them.
   One client was struggling in her relationship with her mother. When we first started working together, she blamed her depressed mood on her mother. “She always puts me down.” In working together, my client was able to set boundaries with her mother: How much time they spent together and specific triggering topics that became “off-limits.” The result? My client’s mood significantly improved, as did her relationship with her entire family because she was no longer focusing so much on how her mother treated her.
5. Be empowered: While you cannot always control what is happening, you can always control your reaction to it. Realize that you are never helpless. There are two strategies to consider when things are not going well: Problem-focused and emotion-focused. Problem-focused coping refers to changing the problem or the situation. Emotion-focused coping means addressing your reaction to it. For example, let’s say a colleague at work has been treating you in an unkind manner. Problem-focused coping might include speaking to that person to get them to change, talking to HR, or spending less time with them. Emotion-focused coping might involve remembering that hurt people hurt and not personalizing their actions or making sure you are out of the Red Zone when you interact with them.

How about teens and pre teens. Are there any specific new ideas you would suggest for teens and pre teens to optimize their mental wellness?

As parents, it is vital that we better support our teens and pre-teens. Rates of anxiety and depression have doubled for adolescents since the pandemic, and the rates were already extremely high. One of the best things you can do as a parent is to check in with your child, empathize with what they are going through and get them the skills training they need to handle stress better and cultivate healthy self-confidence. These are simple skills, but most young people (and even adults!) never learn these skills. We all want our children to be happy and successful in life. Skills like grit, healthy self-confidence, emotional regulation and hope (a buffer to suicidal thoughts) are predictors of current and later success in life. Get your children the skills training so they can benefit now and in the future.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?

Joe Dispenza’s “Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One” significantly impacted me. As a psychologist, I am quite aware of the power of our thoughts, that they create our reality. Joe’s book talks more about the science of how to rewire your brain, so it works for instead of against you.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I am actually trying to start a movement right now. It is a movement helping young people and their parents learn the skills to optimize their mindset. When we can control our minds instead of letting our minds control us, we have less stress, greater happiness, healthier bodies, better confidence, stronger and more healthy relationships, and even more success at whatever we do. Optimizing your mindset entails learning and applying skills, just like learning an instrument or a new language. For some reason, we don’t teach our children emotional regulation, how to create healthy self-confidence, and strategies to have healthy relationships. I started a company called EleVive which does just that. I hope that one day all children and adults will have these skills

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

“It’s not failure; it’s data.” I love this quote that I often share because it gives us a different perspective on “failure.” When you get an outcome that you don’t want, learn from it instead of beating yourself up. Consider, how can you grow from this? How can you make changes to make things better now and in the future? How can you use this information to serve others?

I use this wisdom frequently. As a professional speaker, I often get inquiries to speak at major conferences. If I do not get the gig, I explore why not. What additional information did they want? How else could I have communicated with them to determine if we were a good fit. Using this life lesson, I focus on getting better at what I do.

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

IG: https://www.instagram.com/drelombardo/

Thank you for these fantastic insights!