Dr LaNail R Plummer of Onyx Therapy Group: Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became A CEO

An Interview With Doug Noll

Time flexibility is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, some CEOs do not have to work from 9am-5pm. However, they do have to work. And, that means they are working at times when others may not be working. Which means, CEOs have to be disciplined with their time, understand their PEAK hours, and be focused to get a lot of work done in a short amount of time. In my experience, no matter how disciplined I am, I had to get help with my time management and flexibility. I would say “Yes” to meetings and end up with 8 meetings in one day, no emails checked, and only one thing on my to-do list checked. My boundaries were off and it affected my time. So, time flexibility only works with self-awareness, business understanding, and clear structure.

As a part of our series called ‘Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became A CEO’ we had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. LaNail R. Plummer, CEO of Onyx Therapy Group.

As a leading mental health professional and CEO of Onyx Therapy Group, Dr. LaNail R. Plummer and her team of 30+ all Black/women of color actively work to treat and destigmatize Black mental health. Dr. Plummer has been making waves in the mental health and wellness industry with 18 years of experience working with a multitude of clients, and specializing in the care of young women; the Black community; and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Her work and expertise has been featured in everything from Essence, NBC, Forbes, The Washingtonian and Time Magazine (among others), and Dr. Plummer has spoken at conferences for Essence Fest, Mental Health America, NYU, and the US Black Chambers of Commerce.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

I am a therapist: by trade, by passion, by purpose. I was probably a therapist before I knew what a therapist was or what they did. During my childhood, we were encouraged to be police officers, attorneys, doctors, and firefighters, but never a business owner so it wasn’t on my list of dreams or goals. However, in 2012, our business sales from direct therapy and educational consulting were more grand than we expected so we had to start a business; it’s kind of the American way. So, my business partner and I started the company because we were passionate about the work we were doing, wanted to continue to do the work and help the community, and continue to enjoy the financial benefits of having a small business too. In 2019, my business partner gave me full ownership of the business, I rebranded, expanded, and began to take the business more seriously. It was less of a hobby or part-time gig but something that was very impactful and needed more attention. Through that awareness, I became the CEO and have been in the role ever since.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?

As a CEO, I get to dream, use my imagination, and be innovative. One day, I had the idea that I wanted more people to know about mental health and for it to become so normalized that people could talk about it on dates, at the dinner table, with friends, and co-workers. I figured that the best way to normalize the topic was to put the information in places that “normal” people go and have events the way that “normal” people do them. So I hired a PR team, with the goal of being a voice in common magazines, podcasts, and shows. And it worked; people are talking about mental health more, enjoying the discussions, not shying away from the topics but rather, leaning in on key and transformative points.

Interestingly, a reader of one of the magazines saw my profile and submitted an application on my behalf to TedTalk, unbeknownst to me. This person lives all the way in Columbia, South America and I live in Washington, DC. Here we are, continents apart, and that person thought I would be a great Ted speaker. And, Ted agreed. They reached out several times but since I was not expecting it, I thought it was spam. When I finally took it seriously, they asked me to record, here in Washington DC, and I did. And now TedTalk has thousands of views. A great magazine article was read by a normal person in a faraway country and it led to me fulfilling a dream I didn’t even know I had. How interesting and awesome is that story! 😊

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Funny story? That one is challenging because I find joy and laughter in so many things I do. As a CEO, people would expect us to be serious all the time, but my personality is harmonic in seriousness and jovialness, so I laugh ALL the time. If I don’t laugh or crack a joke at least once in a meeting, there is a problem. So, let me think–a funny time… Ummm nope, I can’t find just one; I find laughter everywhere in life.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Yes, Myrna Peralta and BB Otero. When I was a younger professional, I worked for both of them. They were close friends and when BB left her CEO position to become a DC government official, Myrna took the reins. I would sit in their office and learn, asking questions about everything. Both Myrna and BB were Black women leaders, balancing their roles as wives and mothers, and the various aspects of holding a leadership role, from handling conflict, to hiring, teaching, talent versus skills, marketing, etc. I asked them everything, and they gladly shared. And I would sit in their office, and just get inspired as I listened to their insights. One day, while I was talking with BB, she said, “LaNail, you will be a CEO too.” I immediately replied and told her I would NOT. I was fascinated by her, by them, by the work. But I was too intimidated to do it on my own. And, I was way too bold and outspoken to play the games that most CEOs have to play. A few years later, Myrna and I were passing each other in the hallway and she randomly said, LaNail, you will be a CEO. I giggled and told her about the interaction I had with BB years prior. She smiled in her sly way, nodded, and said OK. Both of these great leaders saw something in me that I was way too scared to see. When it was time for me to leave the organization, I was devastated. I’d been with them for over 10 years and I loved my work. However, a few days before my last day, Myrna called me to her office and told me that it was time for me to be a CEO. That was in 2019. And, that was when I took the title of CEO of Onyx Therapy Group. These women spoke LIFE into me and I am forever grateful for them.

Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader?

There have been many hard choices. The hardest ones, for me, involve firing and finances. I’ll share about a firing decision I had to make. A few years ago, Onyx was expanding rapidly. There was a huge demand for Black therapists during the pandemic and Onyx was positioned to support many clients. In this process, I supported the hire of a woman named BK. I am not actively part of the hiring process anymore, primarily because my Directors led the staff so I want them to make the final decisions in who they want to work with. Folks experience 3 interviews before they are offered a position because the work we do is so fragile and client-centered. Nonetheless, BK came onboard and worked with us for nearly a year. She wasn’t our typical therapist but that’s what made her stand out and why the team wanted her. She was relatable for some of the clients and that’s what we needed. However, we learned that she had a lot of issues and biases towards working with Black women. She had workplace trauma around manipulation and deception so she was very defensive with us and refused to accept feedback, supervision, or simple redirection. It made it difficult to work with her but I kept asking the leadership to shift, grow, and evolve to support this one clinician. However, in supporting her, they took away time from other clinicians who wanted to grow or from other educators who wanted to try new innovative approaches with their audiences. In short, investing in BK was causing a deficit in other areas and other growth. When I finally made the decision to terminate her, I was heartbroken. Sure, I know, business people aren’t supposed to utilize emotions in their work, but I am human and I am a therapist. In terminating her, I felt like I was repeating the trauma she’d already experienced and I felt like I had failed because I couldn’t get her to open up and trust us, enough to grow and help her clients. Needless to say, she was pissed when she was terminated and made it quite clear. She was too defensive to hear my statements and sentiments, and that bothered me too. I really wanted her to learn something, even on her way out. Yes, that was a tough decision- to know when to invest and disinvest in our human resources.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Most of our readers — in fact, most people — think they have a pretty good idea of what a CEO or executive does. But in just a few words can you explain what an executive does that is different from the responsibilities of the other leaders?

Aside from acting as the face of a company, or their “spokesperson,” which is actually a very small portion of the role, my responsibility as CEO is to think of the longevity of Onyx Therapy Group and how we can constantly grow to fit our community’s evolving needs. In working proactively to address these focal points, this may include anything from internal team development and training, budgeting,

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a CEO or executive? Can you explain what you mean?

Myth: CEOs make a lot of money.

Truth: Quite possibly; however CEOs work non-traditional hours, likely work more than 40 hours a week, wear multiple hats, have to have a grand view and a detailed view, while also having vision and execution skills. CEOs make what they earn.

Myth: CEOs have total time freedom.

Truth: CEOs have schedules, general work hours, and work responsibilities too. So, while many CEOs can determine their start and end times, they are usually working very hard during those times, and must still attend meetings, networking events, marketing strategies, respond to emails, understand their leadership and staff, AND continue to grow, flex, and develop in their role.

What is the most striking difference between your actual job and how you thought the job would be?

Whoa, I think it’s the amount of information that I must know and how to apply that information. I learned very early in my CEO journey that I can not and will not do everything. I am an Army Veteran and we were taught to delegate. And, it’s much easier to delegate when you are middle management but it’s much harder when the business you run is the one you created. Comparatively, asking a CEO/Founder to delegate is like birthing a child and asking a person you just met to watch and raise your child, every day for a few hours each day. Yes, that sounds like what parents experience when they send their children to school. But, all parents know, the first time you send your child to school, it’s emotional, uncomfortable, and sometimes flat out terrifying. You have to do it daily and continue to prepare, practice, and reinforce until it begins to feel comfortable. That’s the major difference in my job. I had to learn so much AND trust that others knew more than me or something different than me, even about my own “baby”.

Now, I know all the jargon for all the fields. I can talk to an accountant and hold my own. I can talk with an attorney and know which questions to ask. I can talk with a financial advisor and ensure they are taking me in the right direction, but I can also determine who I want to work on my team, not just because of their role but because I know my role better too.

Do you think everyone is cut out to be an executive? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful executive and what type of person should avoid aspiring to be an executive? Can you explain what you mean?

No. I think everyone has a purpose in this life. I think some people are purposed to be executives. Some are purposed to be office workers. Some are purposed to be field workers. And, controversially, some may be purposed to be unemployed. When a purpose is clear, it makes it easier to accept, pivot, and grow within that purpose. The challenge is, most people don’t know their purpose or they don’t want to accept their purpose. Everyone isn’t designed to be the star. Some people are supposed to be the supporting actress and when they are the best in that role, they shine. With that, I do not think there are specific traits to being an executive. I do think there are skills that are needed, but I do not think it’s a personality trait. I think the biggest flex is self-awareness and then acceptance, and then action. And with that, people can be who they are supposed to be.

What advice would you give to other business leaders to help create a fantastic work culture? Can you share a story or an example?

At Onyx, we talk all the time. We have our emails for formal communication but we chat in our apps too. We laugh, we celebrate, we support. We disclose enough personal information to feel comfortable, and we encourage the team to learn together. We have quarterly “kick back” meetings where we play games, laugh, tease, update, and hang out. And, we try to have 1–2 big parties where we can dance, listen to music, and just have fun. That keeps us close. And I love it.

How have you used your success to make the world a better place?

Absolutely. I am a therapist. I am an educator. My work is CENTERED on making the world a better place. When clients and customers learn more about themselves and others, they feel empowered AND they are more open to love, growth, evolution, fun feelings, and good times. And while seriousness is a necessity in survival, laughter is a necessity in thriving. This is a simple answer because our work is deep, transformative, intentional, insightful, and impactful but yes, we are making the world a better place, every single day.

Fantastic. Here is the primary question of our interview. What are your “Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Became A CEO” and why?

1 . Time flexibility is not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, some CEOs do not have to work from 9am-5pm. However, they do have to work. And, that means they are working at times when others may not be working. Which means, CEOs have to be disciplined with their time, understand their PEAK hours, and be focused to get a lot of work done in a short amount of time. In my experience, no matter how disciplined I am, I had to get help with my time management and flexibility. I would say “Yes” to meetings and end up with 8 meetings in one day, no emails checked, and only one thing on my to-do list checked. My boundaries were off and it affected my time. So, time flexibility only works with self-awareness, business understanding, and clear structure.

2 . Being a CEO is what you make it. You don’t have to be like anyone else. You don’t have to “dress” like a CEO or “talk” like a CEO. You don’t have to have your hands in every single bucket but you have to know what kind of CEO you want to be. And, it starts with knowing yourself. This role is unique and generally self-guided. So to guide yourself, you have to know yourself. And to know yourself, it’s good to have supportive people around you that can help you explore. I think every CEO needs a therapist and business coach. Onyx offers both but we utilize both too. And, that support and self-awareness has allowed me to grow into the CEO I wanted to be and love to be.

3 . There are not a lot of Black Women CEOs and there’s even less funding sources that support Black Women owned companies. I know the disparities in this country and in this world. I’ve lived in other countries, have traveled around the world for work, pleasure, and education. And I observe. Black women start a lot of things. Businesses, families, communities, clubs, movements, schools, etc. But, we do not get the financial support to always be sustainable or growth-centered. I wish I knew I was going to have to fight so hard, advocate so much, and work tirelessly just to secure funding when it’s time to expand, stand up a new venture, or make payroll when organizations haven’t paid us yet.

4. Your work quality, integrity, and passion will only yield limited success. You could be the best designer ever or the best therapist ever but if you do not know or understand the backend of business, your success will be limited to what you can do, only. So, it’s important to understand marketing, reputation, networking, capital, and other key factors that can take your level to places and spaces that you never imagined.

5 . Nobody can sell your business better than you can. It’s your business, your vision, your goals. You may be the best person to talk about the past experiences within the company, what you are currently doing, and most importantly, what you want to do in the future. I once thought that I could send a prepared team to meetings without me…and I can…and they can win the contract. But I am the one that talks with full passion, full understanding, full promise, and full vision. Just like I know my kiddies, comprehensively, better than their teachers, I know my business better than anyone else. I wish I accepted how much I knew so I could step into that pitching power earlier. But, it’s not too late, right? 😊

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I want to normalize mental health. That’s it. We openly say: I’m going to the dentist today or I have a doctor’s appointment. When someone suggests that we go to the orthopedic doctor, we say yes. But when someone says we should go to a therapist, we get offended. I want everyone to see, accept, and participate in therapy with the same ease that they go to their physician or dentist. We are here to help.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“Be prepared for an opportunity. Do not let an opportunity prepare you”. My dad used to tell me this all the time. I think it’s an abbreviated version of another quote but he used to tell me this quote so he could ensure that I was a forward thinker, a skill-based (not always experiential) learner, and a visionary. And, it helped. Before the pandemic, I had the foresight to ensure the company could pivot to virtual therapy within 1 day. I did not expect that we would live through a pandemic and have a spike in clients but I did think that one day, clients may not want to commute to the office and would want the ease of doing therapy from their homes or offices. I made sure everyone was trained in teletherapy and when the pandemic hit, so did we. It’s because of this quote and others that I heard from my parents throughout my childhood.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them

Oprah. That’s my girl. When everyone was running home to watch cartoons or play outside, I had my notebook with me and I sat down and watched Oprah. I wanted to learn about the world and she was one of my greatest teachers and facilitators. I adore her. I’ve watched all her shows, read the books from the book club, listened to the podcasts, and even adore some of the people that she introduced us to, like Iyanla Vanzant, with whom I’ve had the honor of spending time with too.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

About the Interviewer: Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA was born nearly blind, crippled with club feet, partially deaf, and left-handed. He overcame all of these obstacles to become a successful civil trial lawyer. In 2000, he abandoned his law practice to become a peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author, teacher, and trainer. He is a highly experienced mediator. Doug’s work carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. Doug teaches his innovative de-escalation skill that calms any angry person in 90 seconds or less. With Laurel Kaufer, Doug founded Prison of Peace in 2009. The Prison of Peace project trains life and long terms incarcerated people to be powerful peacemakers and mediators. He has been deeply moved by inmates who have learned and applied deep, empathic listening skills, leadership skills, and problem-solving skills to reduce violence in their prison communities. Their dedication to learning, improving, and serving their communities motivates him to expand the principles of Prison of Peace so that every human wanting to learn the skills of peace may do so. Doug’s awards include California Lawyer Magazine Lawyer of the Year, Best Lawyers in America Lawyer of the Year, Purpose Prize Fellow, International Academy of Mediators Syd Leezak Award of Excellence, National Academy of Distinguished Neutrals Neutral of the Year. His four books have won a number of awards and commendations. Doug’s podcast, Listen With Leaders, is now accepting guests. Click on this link to learn more and apply.