Dr Laurie Cure: 5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership
An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti
Empathy boosts team morale and cohesion. When people feel heard and cared about, they naturally experience greater job satisfaction. When leaders have a better understanding of team members’ strengths and weaknesses, they are more likely to leverage these in ways that support collaboration. Tasks are assigned based on the ability and probability of success and team members can count on knowing their contributions are valued. A more positive work environment also combats stress and burnout in powerful ways.
Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, is increasingly recognized as a pivotal leadership trait. In an ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who exhibit genuine empathy are better equipped to connect, inspire, and drive their teams towards success. But how exactly does empathy shape leadership dynamics? How can it be harnessed to foster stronger relationships, improved decision-making, and a more inclusive work environment? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Laurie Cure.
Laurie, CEO and owner of the consulting firm Innovative Connections, is a seasoned business consultant with more than 25 years of experience. With a doctorate in industrial and organizational psychology and a master’s degree in business administration, Laurie is a trusted advisor to senior leaders and teams, offering expert guidance on workplace culture, business relationships, and leadership. She is an emotional theorist and her book, “Leading Without Fear,” is a renowned resource for cultivating healthy leadership behaviors that drive success.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about empathy, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
This may be a different response than what you were thinking, but the most interesting thing I have done in my career is start my own business. I had ignored the call for a long time. I allowed my fears and the fears of others to stand in my way. I had just taken another huge leap into a new venture and was told by others that I should let the waters calm before I start something else.
While pursuing my doctorate at the time, I actively started researching the topic of emotions and fear. I was in my own Petri dish exploring what was holding me back. It didn’t take long for me to realize I needed to manage my own fears more aggressively. And there were many.
With that, in 2008 — at the beginning of “the great recession” — I stepped out and launched Innovative Connections. My timing was not ideal, but what I discovered was profound. They say, “when the student is ready, the teacher will emerge.” What I found to be true was that opportunities presented themselves, wise and supportive mentors appeared out of nowhere, and great collaborative partners showed up to be a part of our team. The people that mattered most were right by my side, steadfast and fearless. It’s made me see that the path appears if we step forward and trust it.
As a women leader, I wanted opportunities to advance my career, enjoy flexibility and autonomy beyond what the typical corporate job affordedafforded, and I hoped to create a platform for others to do the same. Innovative Connections allows me to achieve those goals.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I think our mission statement is profound; “We give voice and action to an emerging future.” To achieve this, we must be dedicated to forming deep relationships with our clients and those we work with. We are not just consultants; we are trusted partners and I think that is what makes us stand out. Your topic today is perfect in this regard. So much of what makes us unique is our ability to demonstrate empathy with the leaders whom we partner. Leadership is not for the faint of heart. Every year proves more difficult, and it does not get any easier with today’s rapidly changing business environment. No single person has the answers and, yet collectively, we all do. Innovative Connections helps leaders and teams come together in collaboration to discover what they already know and expand possibilities for success.
As an example, this year, we worked with several teams aiming for higher performance levels yet unsure of the steps required to achieve them. Often, there was significant conflict on their teams; like many of us, they are still reeling from the aftershock of the pandemic.
We use a powerful “360 feedback” tool which allows leaders to request and receive feedback from a variety of people within their organization. Feedback is never easy to receive. Even when it’s good, we find every little negative comment and amplify it. In this work, it is critical to approach the situation and review the data with empathy and compassion. Yet, this must also be balanced with hard truths.
Unless leaders engage in genuine self-reflection, their growth remains limited. Our approach emphasizes empathy to facilitate an environment where leaders can absorb essential feedback and effectively implement it for improvement.
You advise business leaders. Which three character traits do you think are most instrumental to their success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Only three??? That makes it tougher.
Character traits are different and yet also similar to leadership skills. The three I can offer might cross into both categories.
The first one, and I might cheat a bit, is emotional intelligence (EI) which encompasses an array of skills, including empathy, that support the successful leaders. Emotional intelligence merges capabilities in self-awareness, emotional understanding, listening, trust building, conflict navigation and accountability management. It also includes character traits such as humility, passion and courage.
At the core of EI is self-awareness. Leaders who overlook the exploration of their strengths, weaknesses, values, and the impact of their decisions on others often face significant challenges to building EI. This lack of introspection can lead to difficulties in fostering relationships, motivating team members and attaining meaningful results. In our experience, we’ve encountered leaders who showcasedisplay remarkable emotional intelligence, earning admiration and significance within their organizations. However, we’ve also witnessed numerous instances where a deficiency in emotional intelligence has led to substantial challenges for leaders, often impacting their careers. Allow me to offer an example that encapsulates both scenarios.
Much of our work is helping leaders at all skill levels of EI to enhance this competency. We recently worked with a physician leader who was struggling to put these skills into practice. While he had excellent competency as a physician, he struggled to listen to his colleagues and lacked respect for their input. He fought hard for his personal agenda and failed to manage conflict effectively, often resorting to yelling, stomping out of the room or becoming overly confrontational. He lacked humility, which was demonstrated through this arrogance, and he was not seen as trustworthy by anyone who worked with him. Part of our job involved aiding him in recognizing his negative traits and understanding their repercussions on his reputation and leadership success. Lacking awareness, he persisted in justifying his behavior, seeing no reason for change. To facilitate this awareness, we utilized a comprehensive personality assessment and a 360 assessment (which you will hear me talk about often) to delve deep into his behaviors and highlight unproductive patterns. We then coached him on learn more effective ways to be emotionally intelligent- which included exercising empathy.
The second trait or skill I would like to address is adaptability. It’s natural for leaders to aspire to possess all the answers or at least have the ability to get them. They want to know what to expect and how to manage environmental influences in ways that will serve the organization. But, in our current reality, stability and planning is becoming less predictable. Business environments in all industries are fast paced and dynamic, which requires leaders to be able to adapt quickly and assimilate new conditions.
Being adaptable isn’t just about flexibility and agility; it’s also about resilience, collaboration and improving decision-making skills for leaders.
Crisis management is a great example where adaptability is crucial. One of our clients needed help restructuring due to pressure from several factors that had the potential to go south quickly if they did not adapt. This particular client began to recognize changing market conditions (which were actually positive for their growth). Certain segments of their business were expanding more rapidly than others and it required a reallocation of resources. We assisted them with a strategic organizational redesign which meant we evaluated these changes and facilitated the creation of a new structure. With our help they realized that they needed an organizational framework that was more fluid to the changes they were experiencing. Their existing design was highly functional, but it lacked the flexibility to deploy talent seamlessly across various business segments. Through restructuring, they aimed to inject more adaptability into their model, empowering leaders to respond swiftly to changing needs.
The third trait needed by business leaders for success is empathy, which seems obvious given our interview focus. More and more research reveals the strong link between empathy and leadership effectiveness. The level of stress, fatigue and burnout is high, and leaders are not immune from these emotional challenges. Empathy makes people feel heard and understood even in difficult circumstances. Ultimately, empathy promotes positive relationships and builds trust, passion and healthy work environments. Much of our work is helping to make leaders more effective, so we deal with unempathetic leaders frequently. Many were raised with a leadership paradigm that says, “leave your emotions at the door,” “your personal life should not affect your work life” or “I’m sorry this is happening to you, but we have a business to run, so get over it.” This mentality might have been valued at one point in our evolutionary history, but we know better now. Now we know that leaders who behave with indifference or blame others experience consequences. They have low employee engagement, high turnover, communication breakdowns and quality issues.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision a client had to make as a leader and how you helped them work through it? I’m curious to understand how these challenges shaped their leadership.
This is a great question and I think there are many examples. Certainly, there are always foundational business questions; Where to invest limited capital when both alternatives are equally desirable, and where to expand services or markets when there are favorable options in many spaces. Most recently, leaders have wrestled with work from home philosophies and policies. Either approach offers benefits and leaders must determine what is best for, not only individual business units, but the organization as a whole.
Speaking of empathy, let me share an example. This morning, I was talking with a CEO who was hiring for an executive position reporting directly to him. Among the three finalists — two internal and one external — all displayed exceptional leadership qualities. However, the tough reality was that only one would be chosen, leaving at least one other to continue working in the organization without the role.
This scenario holds a risk. Employees not selected might harbor negative feelings, potentially leading to toxicity through resentment, lowered performance or even resignation. But when a leader approaches this with empathy, the dynamics change. They engage in meaningful conversations with the employees, exploring alternative opportunities or developmental paths within the organization. These steps transform the initial frustration into a sense of organizational understanding and support, leading to sustained engagement.
We assist leaders in navigating such situations with empathy and transparency. Right from the start, especially with internal candidates, setting realistic expectations, being forthright about the process and maintaining consistency and openness are vital. Effective communication throughout, treating candidates respectfully and early displays of empathy reassure individuals of their value and the leader’s commitment to their growth, regardless of the outcome.
Without empathy in decision-making, organizations risk losing valuable talent and eroding trust, not only with those directly involved but also across the broader business landscape.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define empathy in a leadership context, and why do you believe it’s a vital trait for leaders to possess in today’s work environment?
That is a good place to start. Empathy has several facets. Psychological and business research speaks to empathy as an ability to understand and connect with others on an emotional level. This includes aspects of cognitive, emotional, behavioral and compassion empathy which differ in terms of whether we are merely processing and sharing another’s perspectives and emotions versus acting on that awareness. For example, I can empathize with your situation by understanding, listening and being present. As a leader, I can also take action that demonstrates empathy. If you lost a family member, I could sit with you in support, which is very important, but I could also allow you to take extra time off and help connect you to counseling resources that the company has available. In true empathy, I can seek this higher ground.
One of my favorite definitions of empathy is from Brene Brown and she says, “Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of “You’re not alone.” While this list seems easy enough, it requires a great deal of authenticity, vulnerability and self-awareness. People know when we are just going through the motions.
In response to the second part of your question, we care about empathy, not only because it supports our humanity and connection with people we care about, but it also supports business outcomes. Leaders who demonstrate empathy tend to embody traits like compassion and trustworthiness, creating a positive work atmosphere. And that positive environment often translates directly into tangible business results.
Can you share a personal experience where showing empathy as a leader significantly impacted a situation or relationship with a client?
I can also share a story where my lack of empathy was detrimental to a relationship. Let’s start with the positive. We were recently working with a leadership team who was experiencing significant performance concerns with one of its senior VPs. This individual had several major missteps in a short period of time with significant consequences. He also appeared to blatantly ignore the CEO’s advice and, frankly, her directives. Often, this type of situation starts to move into performance management conversations, but the CEO felt like more discussion was warranted and opened a different dialogue which changed everything. Approaching the situation empathetically, the CEO uncovered crucial information. It appeared that the employee was struggling to connect with colleagues and establish a sense of community. Previous organizational cultures promoted some of the behaviors frowned upon by this company, leading to a lack of belonging and commitment. Shifting the conversation from discipline to understanding an underlying need became pivotal. From this compassionate standpoint, the CEO directed efforts in a new direction, implementing supportive structures to enhance the leader’s success. This strategy included assigning a colleague “buddy,” an executive coach that could facilitate and guide some decision-making processes and strategic steps to build a more solid leadership team below this individual to support his success. It was quite brilliant.
A similar situation where lack of empathy was displayed resulted in a much different outcome. Empathy is taxing. It requires time, patience and energy. Sometimes, leaders lose tolerance for staying in this space and often, leaders struggle to balance empathy with necessary decision making. As another example, we worked with a mid-level director who had extreme team challenges. She was new to the role and stepped into some weighty issues that the team had been struggling with for years. She oversees several managers, and unfortunately, one was determined to impede her success. This manager went around her and directly approached the leader’s boss, avoiding direct communication. Additionally, she didn’t engage in team discussions, hindering progress. Consequently, the director, already dealing with personal challenges, started feeling burnt out and eventually lost her temper publicly. Balancing the need for intervention in this situation while empathizing with an employee who felt deliberately undermined was certainly challenging.
We know that lack of empathy has real consequences, but it is also not as easy as my words make it sound. I know I have personally experienced situations with my own team where empathy came easily (and it usually does), but there are times when I look back and realize that I did not show up as empathetically as I needed to and regret that choice. This concept involves complex dynamics that demand that leaders take a step back and truly engage, which can often be challenging due to time constraints or other commitments. Given its importance, it’s essential to carve out time and invest our energy in this aspect. Doing so not only benefits the situation, but also contributes to our own well-being and sense of fulfillment.
How do empathetic leaders strike a balance between understanding their team’s feelings and making tough decisions that might not be universally popular?
This is actually the real question and it’s quite complex. Leaders are always balancing employee well-being with business sustainability. This might be weighing restructuring decisions, eliminating a certain service or product line, managing an employee’s performance, cutting costs through benefits reductions or layoffs or even determining work from home practices.
Empathy requires connection, so if we are practicing empathy, we actually needneed to move closer to the people involved. However, when we are making difficult decisions that we know will negatively affect others, our psychological instinct is to pull back in to protect our own emotions. Often, these contrasting responses lead us to approach empathy from a somewhat imbalanced perspective.
When this is the case, leaders need to stay present as much as possible. Communicate transparently, listen and listen some more and ensure there’s space to explain the reasoning behind the decision. When people feel like their pain is genuinely heard, they can navigate the grief and accept any loss they’re facing more smoothly. Acknowledging the emotional impact of decisions is crucial — it doesn’t necessarily mean changing the decision, but it enables healthy emotional processing. Additionally, circling back, following up and keeping in touch show ongoing care and support.
And if, for any reason, empathy isn’t possible, don’t pretend. Pretense can cause more damage than good. Instead, be honest with yourself, work toward understanding and try to reach a place where you can genuinely support others as needed.
I might add another piece to this puzzle, and it might not be a popular angle. Leaders create organizational culture and part of that involves fostering resilience among team members with empathy. While employees hold a responsibility to engage, nurturing a healthy team and individual resilience aids in coping through challenges. When employees show up in a healthy state, even during difficult times, it becomes easier for leaders to authentically empathize and support them.
How would you differentiate between empathy and sympathy in leadership? Why is it important for leaders to distinguish between the two?
Empathy and sympathy are similar concepts, but they refer to different ways of relating to and understanding the feelings of others. As we discussed previously, empathy involves the understanding and sharing of other people’s emotions. It goes beyond just recognizing those feelings, but it is actually being with them in the suffering (or joy). With empathy, you can actually feel their sadness, anger, fear, guilt, happiness etc. as your own. It propels connection.
Sympathy, on the other hand, is merely expressing compassion without putting yourself in their shoes. It might be offering words of comfort, but it doesn’t always validate their emotions. Referring again to Brene Brown, she has a great video linked to a speech she gave. She said that when someone is in a dark hole, empathy allows us to climb into the hole with them, holding them and being with them in the same place whereas sympathy is standing at the top and yelling down, “I am so sorry you are in that hole- must be a bummer.”
Research shows that EMPATHY is required from leaders to build deep trusting relationships that drive outcomes. And empathy must be authentic and personal.
What are some practical strategies or exercises that leaders can employ to cultivate and enhance their empathetic skills?
Empathy must start from genuinely caring about others, which means our interactions should aim to cultivate this caring connection as a foundational starting point. Spend time with employees; listen deeply to their joys and challenges; understand their diverse perspectives.
Be curious about people, listen intently and go beyond just discussing business matters. Ask questions that probe into the genuine experiences of your employees. Empathy is not solely about being available during times of struggle; it is also about celebrating successes, expressing pride, acknowledging achievements and sharing joy in positive life and work events. Engage in open conversations, especially during challenging times.
And we do not need to do this in isolation. Building empathetic teams allows everyone to provide support in their own unique ways.
How can empathy help leaders navigate the complexities of leading diverse teams and ensure inclusivity?
When we lead with empathy, our conversations are very different. Empathy creates psychological safety for people to fully express themselves. Because we listen differently, it means we hear more and can act on more. We develop a different understanding of who people are and how their life experiences have shaped them. We become more tolerant as we recognize and appreciate unique perspectives. When we lead from this place, it’s not as difficult to merge diverse teams, it actually becomes a natural part of our being to include all voices and be inclusive by nature.
What’s your approach to ensuring that succession planning is a holistic process, and not just confined to the top layers of management? How can an executive communicate this philosophy through the organization?
This may or may not be in relation to empathy, but as we think about succession planning, it’s important to define objectives for the process very clearly and then look at individuals and talent across all levels. Best practices would encourage us to promote and invest in development, ensure our process allows for diversity and be open and communicative about opportunities for advancement. All this must be done through the lens of empathy.
Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Empathy Will Affect Your Leadership”?
As I have mentioned, empathy plays a crucial role in effective leadership by positively influencing various aspects of the leader’s relationship with their team, the organizational culture and overall team performance.
1. As its core, empathy builds trust and psychological safety within a team and that contributes to more open discussion and communication. All these pieces reduce fear so team members can be more honest with one another as well. This allows you to not only understand team members’ concerns but also fosters space for thoughtful and innovative ideas. It paves the way for enhanced performance among individuals and teams because everyone feels empowered to take risks, share ideas and rely on the support of their colleagues when things don’t go as planned.
2. Empathy boosts team morale and cohesion. When people feel heard and cared about, they naturally experience greater job satisfaction. When leaders have a better understanding of team members’ strengths and weaknesses, they are more likely to leverage these in ways that support collaboration. Tasks are assigned based on the ability and probability of success and team members can count on knowing their contributions are valued. A more positive work environment also combats stress and burnout in powerful ways.
3. A leader and team’s ability to adapt to change improves when they practice empathy. Fear of change stems from uncertainty and empathetic leaders create space for fears to be openly discussed and for problem solving to occur more fluidly. Empathetic leaders are also more likely to engage their teams in changes that impact them, thereby decreasing stress and allowing individuals more active involvement in the decision-making process. They understand and acknowledge the concerns of their team members, ultimately leading to better decisions through this inclusive process.
4. Empathetic leaders are more equipped to handle conflict in a way that results in positive resolution. Empathy allows for the understanding and input of all the parties involved. This approach leads to more constructive and positive management of disagreement and promotes resolution where employees are empowered.
5. As we invest care into leadership, engagement naturally improves, making the role more fulfilling and manageable. When empathy is actively expressed, work environments shift, influencing employee morale and team engagement positively. Team and leaders build a culture that allows for innovative thinking, idea sharing, collaboration and authenticity. These traits create a more comfortable environment where being ourselves at work feels effortless. While empathy demands more time initially, the long-term payoff is invaluable — cultivating teams who can support one another and the organization as a whole.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
While empathy is a valuable trait for leaders, there are real challenges associated with being an empathetic leader.
Empathetic leaders need to be cautious not to get emotionally drained. It can be tempting to absorb all the problems and stressful energy of others. To alleviate the stress of others, leaders might take on someone’s work or remove something important from their plate. Leaders risk moving work to employees who can assume more responsibilities, but it may not be appropriate for the other person’s role. They also risk those employees’ stress level increasing when they have to assume other team members’ workload.
While it could be a good solution to assess or prioritize workload, it is also important to balance that against performance and boundaries. Leaders need to maintain objectivity, which does not have to be at odds with empathy, but it is certainly more difficult to simultaneously embrace the two. This is where empathy can begin to feel exhausting and difficult. However, it’s crucial to avoid emotional exhaustion, both for yourself and other team members as well.
The other real issue is employee fatigue and burnout. The American Psychological Association just came out with a report that shows 33% of adults feel “completely stressed out no matter what they do to manage (it)” and 44% feel like no one understands what they are experiencing. We know that this takes a toll on our employees’ health and their ability to show up in their work. Leaders are not psychologists and are often not equipped with the training and skills to help employees through these difficult times. Despite great amounts of empathy, many of these individuals would benefit from greater degrees of professional assistance. This is where a leader’s empathy, however, can allow them to more accurately identify when a team member needs more. Human resource representatives, employee assistance programs and other benefits can be accessed to assist. For less severe cases, it can be helpful for leaders to partner natural empathy with skill building around emotional regulation.
We also often see that empathy can still be considered a weakness in many organizational cultures. Leaders need to fully embrace and believe in the advantages of empathy, even in cultures that might not inherently support this approach. Acknowledging that empathetic leadership demands more time, I often remind leaders that time investment is inevitable — it’s a matter of spending it upfront or dealing with issues later. Investing time at the outset to establish relationships in the right way benefits both the leader and the employee overall. in the long run.
Off-topic, but I’m curious. As someone steering the ship, what thoughts or concerns often keep you and your clients awake at night? How do those thoughts influence the daily decision-making process?
If anything is going to keep me up at night, it involves issues that I perceive will have a negative impact on people, either our clients or my own team members. Our team recently went through a business model change that was extremely difficult for many of our team members. Like all leaders, I was not immune to the risk discussed above and I can look back and wish I had done things a little differently. However, like every leader, I continuously strive to balance the business demands with the well-being of our people to the best of my ability.
As consultants, we also work with leaders around performance issues, terminations, restructurings and other business needs that affect their employees. We are in close partnership with our clients, often sharing similar concerns as we seek to assist them in determining the best path forward.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the interview, leadership is challenging and there is not a recipe book for how to do it. Like parenting, we can learn skills, read theories, apply new techniques, but in the long run, we are going to have successes, learning and growth opportunities.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
Oh, I always have lots of dreams. It is likely lessless of a “movement” and more of a purpose, but I think education and development are likely my calling. In general, as people, learning from our life does not come naturally. We fight, resist, ignore and repeat it. I love partnering with people to stop the cycle, embrace growth and elevate themselves to the next level, whatever that might look like.
How can our readers further follow you online?
They can connect with me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-cure/. Also, visit our website, www.innovativeconnections.com and sign up for our newsletter there!
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About the Interviewer: Cynthia Corsetti is an esteemed executive coach with over two decades in corporate leadership and 11 years in executive coaching. Author of the upcoming book, “Dark Drivers,” she guides high-performing professionals and Fortune 500 firms to recognize and manage underlying influences affecting their leadership. Beyond individual coaching, Cynthia offers a 6-month executive transition program and partners with organizations to nurture the next wave of leadership excellence.
