Dr Myra Irani of Embark Behavioral Health at Greenwood Village On Raising Children Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Healthy
An Interview With Maria Angelova
Security is needed to support mental health and stability. This means providing protection through both a physically and emotionally safe environment.
Our children are facing challenges that didn’t exist just a short while ago. They are growing up with social media, constantly being connected, and the hurried pace of life today, as well as the pandemic, and the often frightening news. In short, our children are facing unprecedented mental health challenges. Anxiety, depression, and even suicide are on the rise. As parents and educators, what can we do to raise children who are mentally healthy? In this interview series, we are talking to authors, parenting experts and mental health professionals who can share their expertise and advice on Raising Children Who Are Mentally Healthy. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Myra Irani, PhD, MFT, MA.
Dr. Myra Irani, executive director of Embark Behavioral Health at Greenwood Village, has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT), and a Master’s in Clinical Psychology. She loves working with people and is a collaborative thinker with over 15 years of healthcare and leadership experience. Dr. Irani is action-oriented and is invested in quality services and business development. A Colorado native, who spent much of her career in California, served as a clinician and senior leader in hospitals, residential, outpatient, community mental health, and nursing facilities. Dr. Irani completed an APA-accredited residency at the University of Colorado Hospital, Anschutz, where she worked in the school of medicine focusing on neuropsychology and integrative healthcare, then completed a Postdoctoral Fellowship at Gateways Hospital, an inpatient psychiatric facility. Although much of her career has been clinically focused, she has also presented and published research at universities such as Columbia, Boston College, UCLA, and University of Colorado at Boulder and has taught as an adjunct professor at the University of Denver in the Graduate School of Psychology. When not focusing on her career, she spends much of her time with her family or outdoors with her paint horse named Chief, trailing the mountains. Myra Irani is determined to make a footprint in driving positive results and enlightenment in the behavioral health industry.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to hear a little about you. Inspire us with your backstory!
Thank you for taking the time to hear my story! One of the greatest things about being human is that we each have a unique and individualized experience that we can bring to this world. There is no carbon copy. My life began like a novel, where the spark of an idea blossomed into a story, which ended in meaning and understanding. My family means the world to me. My parents come from two different backgrounds, but they share one thing in common: investment in people. My father, Edward, is Jewish from Iraq. My mother, Charlene, is a Seminole and Kiowa Native American from Oklahoma. My ethnicity and religion are rich in culture, and I have been on an empowering journey to learn about my history while creating my own identity.
I am an urban cowgirl — healthcare business by day, coupled with ranch life and horses any chance I get. I have never belonged to one particular “group,” for I paved my own path. I was the child who played with microscopes, created my own alphabet out of shapes, and painted with mashed-up fruit. My adolescent years were spent marching around, playing the clarinet, running track, competing in spelling bees, and cheering my teammates during softball games. At my Bat Mitzvah, I announced that I would become the first female president because I have always believed that every person can make a difference in this world. I have always been eager to learn, had high hopes, big dreams, and have always been driven to excel. Middle school and high school was when my career trajectory was established. I volunteered at a hospital, which lasted six years and brought me to college, which motivated by my experiences, I knew I had a strong desire to help people… the rest is history. My fate was sealed in healthcare, which I paired with my love for horses, to which I spent many years of my life as a horse wrangler. Horses taught me that “strength” also meant “respect, consistency,” and aligned with a fragility of power in vulnerability.
I believe in the empowerment of people. A lot of my interest in humanity and care for a greater good, came from the love, education, and support from my parents who taught me the power of words, congruent behavior, and integrity. They guided me in a manner through communication and investment in others. They always held me accountable for my actions and this drove me to hold myself accountable for the good I have done in this world, as well as the mistakes that I have made. I have loved, lost, succeeded, and failed, but I never give up.
What are some lessons you would share with your younger self if you had the opportunity?
Wow, this is a powerful question. I would have told my younger self that failure or roadblocks were opportunities to take a different route, and that you must keep going and have faith. Perseverance is a funny thing because life is not linear, and we can make as many calculated risks or plans, and still end up in the gray, not knowing where our lives will lead us. If I could do it all over again, I would not have been so hard on myself. Heck, in 3rd grade, my teacher told my parents that “No one is harder on Myra than herself.” I have learned to accept and continue to work on my perceived “weaknesses,” for we all have them, and that is okay. We all have to work on our growth points, and I am no exception. We must not only give others grace but reflect that onto ourselves and accept that we are always a work in progress.
None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support he/ she gave you to get where you are today? Can you share that story and why you are grateful for that person?
No surprise here, but my parents have always had my back. I’ve got to give credit to both because they have helped balance me out: the cerebral, strong side of me, that is matched with my soft and vulnerable side. I can always rely on my dad for sound advice: the good, bad, and the ugly. He is honest, confident, and logical. I remember as a kid we would have Sundays called “Daddy & Daughter Day,” which we spent quality time together. One of my fondest memories was regularly going to feed ducks at a pond, then going to the bookstore where he would tell me I could pick any one book, which started my thirst for knowledge. To this day, my dad and I both read a lot and will spend quality time together, sitting in a room, reading.
As for my mom, she always encourages the vulnerable side of me, the part where sometimes I struggle to accept. I remember in elementary school I would get so frustrated when I would make mistakes on my homework, that I would break the pencil I was using. My mom describes my childhood as a “pile of pencils” that she would gently pick up and tell me to go play outside with my friends. This has transcribed into my adult years, to which I have learned to accept my flaws, acknowledge my mistakes, and practice self-care. My parents have presented the consistent message that “all you can do is your best” and I agree that this is a very important message for people to nurture and live by.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think it might help people?
I am currently the Executive Director of outpatient in Colorado collaborating with my colleagues at Embark Behavioral Health, to combat the youth mental health crisis in the United States. We are working tirelessly to grow our continuum of care, including but not limited to outpatient, residential, and specialty programs such as outdoor therapy. My involvement in the project has been to recently break ground in Greenwood Village, Colorado with intensive outpatient and day treatment services for pre-teens, teens, and young adults. With over 25 years of specialization and facilities, we are committed to our Big Hairy Audacious Goal, which is to lead the way in driving teen and young adult anxiety, depression, and suicide from the all-time highs of today to all-time lows of 2028. Stay tuned for more programs being built near you!
Ok, thank you. Let’s talk about raising emotionally and mentally healthy children. In the Western world, humans typically have their physical needs met. But what has led to the tremendous downgrade in emotional and mental health that we are seeing today, especially for children? What is lacking in the mental health arena? Why are so many of our children struggling today?
I think we need to challenge the common perception that in the Western world, humans typically have their physical needs met, for this is not always the case. However, if we focus on mental health, a primary contributing factor to the struggle of children is a reduced, consistent presence with parents; albeit biological, de facto parent, or chosen family. It is imperative that parents or parental figures invest in their children, provide basic needs, and are present in their lives.
How does technology play into the equation of mental and emotional well-being? What about social media?
Technology has a wealth of information, good and bad, that has quick and easy access. It is extremely important that we exercise “balance” of our critical thinking skills and technology as a supplemental tool for learning. Not relying on our minds can impair us, for we are constantly strengthening the connections between our neurons when we use our brains. Careful consideration of access to technology, specifically identifying the “types” of access and to what material, are crucial based on age and developmental stage of an individual. Children have yet to evolve into understanding a vast amount of information from a variety of subject matters. I am not saying to shelter people, but to be mindful of what information is distributed and when it is shared. Information from social media can be a force for good but can also amount to a great deal of pressure and can impact mental health. Something else to consider is that excessive use of technology, over long periods of time, can affect some cognitive functions like short-term memory, the ability to concentrate, and can result in impatience and cognitive distress. This can be best addressed with carving out time to be away from technology and forcing ourselves to get outside, connect with people, animals, and environmental activities. Balance is key.
Obviously, this is a huge issue, and it seems to be growing. What are some small, practical tips, or tweaks, that parents and educators can easily implement to help their children who are struggling?
Talk to your kids and students. Literally. Establish trust not only through what you say, but by what you do. Consistency, honesty, admitting when you are wrong, and honoring commitments is key to building trust. One of my friends always says that he talks to his children like they are real people, and they actually tell him what is going on. He tells them that there will come a time when they will mess up, but to “Always call Dad first.” Don’t be afraid to talk about problems and the happy stuff! Normalize the experiences of pain and talking about it, so we can collaborate to come up with a solution and understand that nothing lasts forever. We cannot control how people think and feel, and we shouldn’t, but we can normalize talking about it and work through things together. Meet children where they are and sometimes, that even means sitting down on your knees to talk to them eye-to-eye, softening ourselves through our behavioral presentation. Children are like sponges; they observe our every move. You may not feel seen all the time, but they see you. I promise. Do not take that for granted, for every action or decision that we make can lead to a lesson for someone who is learning by observing you. And above all things, children need security. Security through a safe environment, food, clothing, and shelter. When a person is not secure, this can lead to fear, which can result in mental warfare.
In your professional opinion, what are certain triggers or signs that the state of a child’s mental and emotional health is not at its best? What is the best way to be proactive and address these signs from the get-go?
The best way to be proactive is to establish trust with a child, so that when life hits the fan, you will be on the frontlines with them hand-in-hand. Triggers vary by people and experiences, and some signs that a child’s mental state is not at its best, are to observe any abrupt changes in mood or behavior such as being withdrawn from activities they once enjoyed, acting out, regularly expressing fear or worry, suddenly struggling in school or social activities, or a disruption in sleeping or eating patterns. This is not to err on the definitive stance that something is wrong but is definitely worth taking the opportunity to talk to the child, offer support, and investigate further. Plus, if they tell you something is wrong, believe them.
Do you think we can do a better job of educating our children about their emotional and mental health? What would that look like?
This ties back into first establishing trust so there is comfort in discussing vulnerable subjects. I think it is helpful to normalize talking about our emotions and mental health, even with children. Asking them how they are and making sure not to reprimand for emotions that are often stigmatized as “weakness” such as crying due to grief. Being sincere and speaking to kids at an appropriate level that takes into consideration their developmental stage is a great approach. It is also important to highlight their strengths and abilities. Often we get caught up in what is “wrong” with us and forget all the good that embodies us too.
Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things parents can do to raise children who are emotionally and mentally healthy”?
First, kids should always know they are loved and supported. Take my friend’s son for example. He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at a very young age. One of the symptoms often experienced with ASD is repetitive behaviors or interests. Her son loves to learn and one of his interests was collecting cardboard, lining up pieces of cardboard and enjoying the feeling of its texture on his hands. She always supported this interest and he found great relief and connection with her when she would bring him cardboard. She would even ask her friends to bring his favorite kind, which was cereal boxes, which ultimately supported the development of his relationships as well. Through this process, we all learned so much about cardboard, Earth, and how it is made. This became an opportunity to connect and support his interests.
Second, security is needed to support mental health and stability. This means providing protection through both a physically and emotionally safe environment.
Third, I recommend that we ensure a child’s basic needs are met. This includes food, clothing, and shelter where a child can thrive by having proper nutrition, exercise such as playing with peers, and the comfort of quality sleep.
Fourth, we really need to listen to our kids. I once worked at a facility that included education for children. A challenge we were faced with was that a child, let’s call him “Star,” was struggling with math and when asked about how we could help, would often say that the kids who “acted up” would get all the attention and support. One day, I observed Star’s classroom, and one of his peers had a crisis, to which the focus of the staff went towards deescalating him. During the crisis, Star asked me if I could help him with a math problem, so I did. The funny part being I was rusty, but we trudged through it together, and we finally got to the right answer. Star got this HUGE smile on his face, gave me a high five, and said, “I don’t have a gold star but I have a gold fish and I want you to have it”… I still have that goldfish cracker to this day. Connections like this eventually led to Star troubleshooting with peers and teachers, while in school, and improving in math. I learned that we must do our best in hearing everyone around us, even if they are not the loudest.
Lastly, modeling positive behavior is everything. We put so much pressure on ourselves to “perfect” how we raise our children, but all we can do is our best. If we have good intention, yet we make a mistake, showing accountability teaches young folks that it is okay to be imperfect, self-reflection is key, and we have the choice to not make the same mistake twice. Never be afraid of facts, be authentic, and spend time with your kids! Time together will never be forgotten.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources you recommend to our audience reading this interview?
A great resource is the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (Call or text 988), which offers 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, as well as resources. I used to work at a suicide hotline, which I experienced to be one of the greatest opportunities in my life, where people trusted me with their darkest, most vulnerable, and most trying times. There was one thing in common: fear that things would never get better. Life can be really hard at times to which, and there may seem like we do not have any options, but by connecting with trusted support, there is chance that we can improve and even save lives. Never be afraid to ask for help or lend a helping hand. You’d be surprised at what can make the difference. I love all Nicholas Sparks books because despite common knowledge that they are romantic fiction solely focused on sappy love, they always demonstrate hope, never giving up, unexpected loss, and rediscovery while facing recovery. The movies Hope Floats and Good Will Hunting are also great partners for times of great challenge. They offer the insight that you are not alone, and it is okay not to be okay. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I encourage people to listen and ask questions before they judge. Caring and giving without any expectations and not because those efforts can benefit you. A movement called “CARING WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS.”
What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?
You can follow me on LinkedIn! Here is my public profile: www.linkedin.com/in/myrairani
Embark Behavioral Health in Greenwood Village, Colorado page: https://embarkbh.com/locations/outpatient-therapy-greenwood-village-colorado/
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
Thank you, Maria. It has been my pleasure. Life happens, and it is what we do with it that makes us who we are. I wish you all the very best.
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher, and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
