Dr Rachel Wilson of Girl Talk International On Becoming Free From The Fear Of Failure
An Interview With Savio P. Clemente
Surround yourself around the right support system; for example, find someone or persons that will encourage you to push past your comfort zone. This can oftentimes be a mentor, parent, or someone that you know has reached a place of maturity in life. They will support you and help you develop the courage to see the situation in a different way where it won’t seem like such a hard thing to do.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Rachel M. Wilson.
Dr. Rachel M. Wilson is a profound teacher/coach and a dynamic speaker who has more than 20 years of experience in coaching individuals through life challenges. Audiences enjoy their learning experience with Rachel’s straight forward teaching and counseling. She uses her struggles and triumphs in life to be more personal and touchable to her audience. Dr. Wilson is also an established Certified Life Coach, Psalmist, Pastor and the founder of Girl Talk International. Throughout her ministry in different arenas she has been blessed to be on major platforms such as BET, TCT, TBN, FOXSOUL, and a plethora of news stations, podcasts, magazines, and radio stations.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
My name is Rachel Wilson. I am a woman of faith and I have been married to my husband for 26 years. We have four boys together. I have been pastoring alongside my husband for 25 years. I also have the honor of being the founder and Executive Director of Girl Talk International, a certified Life Coach, a certified Motivational Speaker, and a national recording artist. I was born and raised in Arizona. I grew up in a single-parent home with 11 children, me being number 7 of the 11. Growing up without my father was hard for me as a young girl. Going through that absence and dealing with it along with other life challenges, empowered me to help and inspire others in any way that I can.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
The most interesting story of my career was from a few years ago and took place within my nonprofit, Girl Talk International. We have . a mentoring program called Flavors, which is geared toward middle school-aged girls. Flavors represent a new generation of young ladies with a new zing and essence. The young ladies who participate in Flavors mentoring may start out salty but after guidance, support, and encouragement they will transform with a new sweet aroma. They will have a new outlook, new hope, a new beginning, a new dream, and a new flavor for the world to see and taste. This was the case for a young lady that was a part of the program. Upon completing one of our mentoring sessions, she confessed that she had been being sexually abused for several years in her home. The police were able to take the abuser to jail and they later found that there was evidence of the abuser planning some kind of catastrophe that could have hurt a lot of people. When I think of the impact of this story and how it saved countless lives I can’t help but see it as one of the most interesting stories from my career. This story was a reassurance for me that what I am doing for the community is important and needed.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Three character traits that I think were most instrumental to my success are; faith, determination, and transparency. My faith has been instrumental in my success as a leader because it has caused me to believe in the dreams that God has shown me no matter how big they are. For example, I know that I am called to be a household name. I started from the trenches and have believed in this before anyone knew me and no matter what setbacks have come in my life, I have continued to have faith in what I am called to. I have been on this journey for a long time and I am just now getting to a point of starting to see that dream manifest. Determination has been instrumental to my success because there have been many times when I felt like quitting but determination stepped in. For example, throughout the years I have experienced many rejections and let downs that brought me to a place of almost quitting but determination stepped in. Transparency has been instrumental in my success as a leader because it helps me to be able to relate to people. Anyone can offer advice but when a leader can show their scars and things they have been through in life, it makes it possible for others to feel comfortable enough to share their challenges, which leads to their inner healing. For example, in my life coaching and mentorship sessions, I often share my personal experiences and many of my clients have expressed that sharing my story has been instrumental to their progress.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure. Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure? Why is failure so frightening to us?
From my experience, people are afraid of failure due to being concerned about what people will say. People often feel that if they do a certain thing, others may typecast them or have a negative image of them. When that happens it goes against our innate longing to feel accepted. Feeling unaccepted is frightening and that is what people try to escape by not even trying. I am a huge advocate for turning negative situations into positive ones. I believe that if someone struggles with the fear of failure, they can use that to become the best version of themselves. For example, if someone has fear of failure in starting a business, they can get a business coach, take business classes, and/or do research to give them confidence that they will not fail.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
The downsides of being afraid of failure are a person’s voice not being heard, disappointment, a negative mentality of self, shame, and people not being able to experience your gifts and talents. People who are afraid of failure are usually timid and have what I like to call a paralyzing fear. Paralyzing fear is limiting because it causes people to be in a stuck position in life where they can not move forward.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the free of failure can help improve our lives?
A few ways becoming free from the fear of failure can help improve our lives are that it will cause a feeling of self-achievement, can lead to success, able to contribute to the world around you and make a difference, ability to teach others how to become free, and not have to live with the regret of not trying.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
I have multiple stories of dealing with the fear of failure but one, in particular, is when I was fearful of standing up for myself. I feared that if I stood up for myself I would fail or it would all go wrong. It was comfortable for me to just deal with it but it was damaging me at the same time. I would see myself standing up for myself and advocating for myself but when it came to it I would stay mute because of the fear of failing or the whole situation going left field. This experience caused major reoccurring incidents at pivotal points in my life that I could have avoided if I just overcame that fear.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
I rebounded and recovered from this by doing it afraid. I often tell people that I mentor that sometimes the fear will never go away but if you do it afraid, it will get easier and easier. That is what I did in my situation and it was a huge weight off my shoulders in fact it did not end in failure but better yet it ushered in hope and success in the situation. I would advise others to do it afraid. Even if you feel like you are going to fail, do it afraid. A lot of times we just have to take the first step and it will get easier and easier.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
1) Surround yourself around the right support system; for example, find someone or persons that will encourage you to push past your comfort zone. This can oftentimes be a mentor, parent, or someone that you know has reached a place of maturity in life. They will support you and help you develop the courage to see the situation in a different way where it won’t seem like such a hard thing to do.
2)Having faith to believe in yourself; for example, if someone is fearful of going back to school because they fear that they will fail, they would need to work on believing that they can do it. It’s simply a choice to believe instead of doubt. Both take faith so it is better to believe in the most positive outcome.
3)Daily positive affirmations; for example, I would advise someone that is afraid of failing to speak out loud daily that “I can do anything I put my mind to do, I am successful, I take healthy risks, if it doesn’t work out it’s not because i didn’t try, etc.
4)Change your thought regimen; a lot of times our thoughts govern our actions and outcomes. When we think negatively, negativity can be the outcome but when we think positively, there is a better chance for a positive outcome. Instead of thinking I will fail, I would advise an individual to think that I will succeed.
-Seeing a victorious end/seeing yourself victorious see yourself coming out of it; after thinking successful thoughts, see yourself or the situation as successful. This will nurture positivity and confidence and the actual play of the event will just be a replay of what you have already been practicing with your imagination.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
Based on my experience, I believe this quote to be true. My husband has a quote that we live by that says, “you will win if you don’t quit.” I believe that that quote is parallel to Aristotle’s quote. The only way you won’t succeed is if you don’t even try, that is definite, but if you take a healthy risk and try you will gain something that can help you to succeed even if it is learning by error.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
If I could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, it would be to give love and serve the local community. Serving others makes the world a better place. Love will always be the biggest movement. What we do in a moment on a daily basis is what leads to big movements. We are in a different world where people are quick to express anger and violence, but when we express love and good works we can start to change the world around us in a positive way.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them :-)
I would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with Oprah Winfrey. She has been such an influential black woman who has overcome many odds. I would love to pick her brain and hear more one-on-one details about her story and what contributed to her being the one and only Oprah Winfrey.
How can our readers further follow your work online
www.rachelwilsonministries.com or follow me on all social media platforms @rachelmwilson44
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.