Elisha Contner Wilkins of Veritas Collaborative: How We Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness

Volunteer: Do something nice for someone else. Research around the subject of volunteering has shown that volunteering during a crisis helps others who have been collectively impacted to feel as though they are part of the solution and making a difference. Several health professionals have come forward during the pandemic to work in the hospitals treating COVID and to administer vaccines. Volunteer work can help us to put our own lives into perspective.

As we all know, times are tough right now. In addition to the acute medical crisis caused by the Pandemic, in our post COVID world, we are also experiencing what some have called a “mental health pandemic”.

What can each of us do to get out of this “Pandemic Induced Mental and Emotional Funk”?

One tool that each of us has access to is the simple power of daily gratitude. As a part of our series about the “How Each Of Us Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness” I had the pleasure of interviewing Elisha Contner Wilkins.

Elisha Contner Wilkins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist and iaedp Approved Supervisor. She has over 20 years of experience working with children, adolescents, adults and families.

After receiving her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Rollins College, she went on to achieve a Master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Stetson University. As an undergraduate student, she set a career goal of becoming a therapist and Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, as she recognized the gap in services that is prevalent in many communities, as well as the need for education for healthcare providers and ongoing advocacy efforts.

She has additional training in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Family-Based Treatment and systemic modalities. Although she has worked in a variety of clinical settings, she has focused much of her career on exclusively working with eating disorders in private practice and higher levels of care. She has been instrumental in developing eating disorder programs at various levels of care, one of which is Veritas Collaborative’s Richmond Child, Adolescent and Adult Center.

Outside of her clinical and administrative responsibilities, she has extensive experience educating parents, families, school personnel, and other professionals on eating disorders. She also enjoys providing supervision and training to educate, train, and nurture the next generation of eating disorder professionals. She has presented at local and national conferences and is the Immediate Past President of the Richmond iaedp Chapter. She also serves on the iaedp Board of Directors as a Chapter Representative and serves on the Board of Trustees for Elk Hill Farm, a non-profit organization that provides community-based treatment and residential services to children and families throughout the Commonwealth of Virginia.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about you and about what brought you to your specific career path?

After being introduced to a psychologist in high school, I found the work fascinating. I was intrigued by the dynamics and my attention has always been captured by the life stories that we all have. I initially went to college destined to study political science and after my first psychology class, I was reminded of that experience in high school and abruptly changed majors. I set my sights on becoming a therapist and wanted to carve out a niche area for myself. Thinking back to those “dynamics”, I found the multi-disciplinary team approach of eating disorders quite fascinating. I welcomed the idea of working within a multi-disciplinary team to treat the whole person. I knew as an undergraduate that I would “grow up” to be a therapist, specializing in the treatment of eating disorders. From there, it was not a “perfect” journey to get to this destination due to the limited learning opportunities and work opportunities in this industry in my immediate geographic area. I began learning on my own by reading and attending conferences when I could. After graduate school, I worked in the areas of family preservation and therapeutic foster care, always keeping my “eye on the prize.” I continued to stay abreast of trends in the field of eating disorders and would take on cases at my job where there were signs of disordered eating or feeding issues.. I moved into several leadership roles in therapeutic foster care and outpatient community mental health and later moved into the realm of private practice to begin to focus more exclusively on eating disorder work. Eventually, there were plans in my area to open an inpatient eating disorder program, and I worked to seize that opportunity. I joined the team responsible for developing the program and eventually became the Program Director at the time of opening. I have since been a part of opening two additional eating disorders programs. From there, much of my career has focused on the treatment of eating disorders at higher levels of care.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

This is a tough one. . . there are a great many interesting things that have happened. I think that it is really a story about persistence. When I learned that a psychiatric facility that would be opening in Orlando would have an eating disorder unit, I was determined to work there. I had been working solely in private practice at the time and knew in my heart that the key to accelerating my career would be to work in a higher level of care plus I welcomed the experience. I did some research and found out who the key people would be working on this project on the operations/facility side. I sent an email to gather additional information and to express interest in working there as a therapist. They did get back to me to let me know that the project had been pushed out and they would keep me in mind. I continued to follow up with them. Eventually, I became a part of the team that worked on the clinical program development side and eventually was hired as the Program Director, given my prior administrative experience in therapeutic foster care and community mental health. This story just goes to show that persistence can pay off. I only had my sights on working as a therapist there however ended up taking on the Program Director role. Greatest decision!

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why do you think that resonates with you? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

One of my favorite quotes is “if you can’t change something, change the way that you think about it.” This quote has been especially valuable over this last year.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story about why that resonated with you?

I enjoy learning constantly. To be in this field, you must dedicate yourself to be a life-long learner, and there is always ongoing and new research being conducted in our field. We are constantly “perfecting” our craft. I really enjoy reading, especially non-fiction, memoirs, and what we would call the classic novels. There are many books that have made an impact on me in my career. Here are few that standout to me: Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy, The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw, and On Becoming a Therapist by Jeffrey Kottler. The stories of courage, tenacity, and hard work have always resonated with me. I will never forget what I was doing and where I was on that tragic day that we all know as 9/11. I was working in the field that day and was on my way to do a school visit down near the Orlando International Airport. I was listening to the radio in my car and the program was interrupted to articulate early reports of what was happening in New York City. I thought about my client I was going to see and all of my other clients and how they would process these events. Even though we were hundreds of miles away, these types of events have a collective impact on all of us. Many of us knew people in that area, knew someone who knew someone, or unfortunately, knew someone directly impacted. I knew that I had a job to do. In the days and months to come, we heard more and more stories of those courageous individuals who emerged or gave their life to try to subvert and change the events of the day. We heard more stories about the heroes. The traits of these individuals impacted me, and I found those to be very similar to the traits of the heroes in the above books.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I have been working with two of my esteemed colleagues on a presentation on Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) that we will be giving at the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (iaedp) annual Symposium. This presentation will give clinicians the tools to recognize this disorder in patients and provide treatment interventions for various stages of the treatment process.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I completely agree. There are two individuals who really stand out to me in my career. The first is someone whom I met during my time in undergraduate. He was working in the field of eating disorders. I shared with him my desire to learn more about this disorder and how it impacts the mind and body. He really was a mentor to me and guided me towards graduate school, various individuals in the field, and other learning opportunities. We still keep in touch today. He has since expanded his work to executive and leadership coaching. He has now transitioned to not only being my mentor but my leadership coach.. I am committed to continuing to learn and grow and be the best I can be for my team.

Another individual with whom I credit my success is someone who gave me my very first behavioral health leadership role. Although I had only been at her facility for approximately 4 months, she saw something in me and believed in me. I moved into the Clinical Supervisor role at this program and almost 2 years later moved into a Site Director role.

I credit both of them with giving me opportunities that I may not have been afforded had I been in much larger institutions or if they were not willing to take a chance on me. Sometimes timing is everything! I am truly grateful.

Now that we are on the topic of gratitude, let’s move to the main focus of our interview. As you know, the collective mental health of our country is facing extreme pressure. We would like to explore together how every one of us can use gratitude to improve our mental wellness. Let’s start with a basic definition of terms. How do you define the concept of Gratitude? Can you explain what you mean?

Gratitude is the practice of being thankful or appreciative. Gratitude is an appreciation for someone or something. Gratitude evokes positive emotions that can contribute to overall positivity, i.e., positive thinking and happiness. For instance, when I focus on things for which I am grateful, there is an immediate shift in how I think and how I feel. The emotions associated with gratitude can also impact our behaviors. We are more likely to engage in positive social behaviors when positive emotions are invoked.

Why do you think so many people do not feel gratitude? How would you articulate why a simple emotion can be so elusive?

Americans are inundated with 4,000 messages each day. Many of these messages focus on the things that we are not doing or how we need to improve ourselves, i.e., “thinner”, “richer”, “prettier.” We are always hearing about the things we are doing wrong and not enough of the positive. The way our mind works is very powerful. When we are inundated with the negative, it is hard to focus on the positive. The good news is that we can learn to change the way that we think!

This might be intuitive to you but I think it will be constructive to help spell it out. Can you share with us a few ways that increased gratitude can benefit and enhance our life?

Gratitude is an important practice to learn and it can strengthen your mental health, especially during the most challenging of times. When our mental health is enhanced, our physical health is improved; we sleep better, focus better, are more flexible, more optimistic, and feel more in charge of our lives. There are many simple ways that we can begin to increase gratitude — the key here is to practice, practice, practice and make this a part of your daily repertoire, much like brushing your teeth. Gratitude can be journaling three things each night before you go to bed that went well for the day or for which you are grateful; gratitude can be writing a letter of appreciation to one of your friends instead of texting or calling; gratitude can be writing a love letter to yourself; it can be engaging in volunteer work to do something for the greater good. Gratitude can also be as aforementioned taking charge of your life — setting boundaries so that you have more time to dedicate to your mental and physical health. It is making time for self-care and the things that make you feel good about you!

Let’s talk about mental wellness in particular. Can you share with us a few examples of how gratitude can help improve mental wellness?

As mentioned above, the practice of gratitude can contribute to positive mental health, positive outlook, and positive mood. This in turn promotes positive behaviors, such as social engagements or development of innovative ideas. When we feel better mentally, we surround ourselves with positive people and we want to do positive things.

Ok wonderful. Now here is the main question of our discussion. From your experience or research, what are “Five Ways That Each of Us Can Leverage The Power Of Gratitude To Improve Our Overall Mental Wellness”. Can you please share a story or example for each?

Here are 5 ways that we can leverage the power of gratitude to improve our mental health:

Take the time to stop and “smell the roses”: begin to incorporate a mindfulness practice into your life — when we learn how to be more aware of our surroundings and harness the power of acceptance, we can improve our mental health. Many mindfulness apps have suspended their fees during the pandemic.

Set boundaries: Set boundaries with family and friends; say “yes” to the things that fit with your values and that have meaning for you; saying “no” to every request can protect the things to which you have said “yes.”

Change the way that you think: challenge your negative thoughts. Keep a journal in which you counteract your negative thoughts with more positive ones especially if you believe that your negative thought is irrational.

Journal: Keep a gratitude journal and write down each night 3 things that went well for you that day or for which you are grateful.

Volunteer: Do something nice for someone else. Research around the subject of volunteering has shown that volunteering during a crisis helps others who have been collectively impacted to feel as though they are part of the solution and making a difference. Several health professionals have come forward during the pandemic to work in the hospitals treating COVID and to administer vaccines. Volunteer work can help us to put our own lives into perspective.

Is there a particular practice that can be used during a time when one is feeling really down, really vulnerable, or really sensitive?

Mindfulness or meditation can be particularly helpful. Often, we need to slow down, breathe, and become aware of our thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness teaches us to be aware of something. It also teaches us to acknowledge our thoughts as just thoughts. Mindfulness helps us to see that thoughts can come and go; they can ebb and flow, as do emotions. Reaching out to your support system is also a positive strategy.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that you would recommend to our readers to help them to live with gratitude?

Books: I really enjoyed Arianna Huffington’s book Thrive. This book focuses on her own journey and contains a wealth of resources at the end. Any of Brene Brown’s books are recommended.

Podcasts: I have enjoyed the podcast Brilliant Balance. It is more so focused on women in the workforce who are working to better balance themselves. Also, Brene Brown’s podcast.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

Thank you. I would have a forum, podcast or radio show dedicated to the power of positivity — people could call in, for instance, to share what went well at their place of work that day or in the world. Much is focused on the negative. If we all come together and make a commitment to change how we think and change our focus, the work we could all do together could be monumental.

What is the best way our readers can further follow your work online?

I have several articles that I have written for our blog at Veritas Collaborative. You can find them here: https://veritascollaborative.com/blogs/.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!