Elizabeth Murphy: I Survived Cancer and Here Is How I Did It

An Interview With Savio P. Clemente

Detach from the Experience — I think it’s very mentally important to detach from the chemotherapy process. It gives you the capacity to basically handle one thing at a time. The detachment was a form of self-care for me. There will be moments when you have to process what’s happening really quickly. You can process it, but you’ll still have moments when you feel that this entire process would have been worse if I had not detached myself. For example, I did not join online groups and boards because it would freak me out and make me paranoid. My therapist wanted me to do it, and I finally told them that joining those groups would force me to admit I have cancer. I didn’t want to hear all of the bad stories or struggles because then I would carry those emotions and struggle. I knew engaging in that way would make my anxiety about my situation worse.

Cancer is a horrible and terrifying disease. Yet millions of people have beaten the odds and beat cancer. Authority Magazine started a new series called “I Survived Cancer and Here Is How I Did It”. In this interview series, we are talking to cancer survivors to share their stories, in order to offer hope and provide strength to people who are being impacted by cancer today. As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth Murphy, a stage 3 breast cancer survivor. Elizabeth shares how she was able to mentally cope and connect with others on her journey to recovery.

Elizabeth Murphy is a Stage 3 breast cancer survivor and oncology nurse, who unexpectedly found herself in the shoes of a patient after receiving a cancer diagnosis from a needle biopsy. With no family history of breast cancer, Elizabeth struggled to wrap her head around her diagnosis but did not hesitate to start radiation treatment at GenesisCare in Palm Desert, CA. Elizabeth’s fighter mentality empowered her to finish treatment, and she now lives life cancer-free with her husband and two kids.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! We appreciate the courage it takes to publicly share your story. Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?

I grew up in a two-parent household in Santa Cruz, California, with my half-brother, who is 17 years older than I am, so I was somewhat of an “only child” based on our age difference. I am currently in my mid-thirties, married with two kids, and reside in Coachella Valley in Palm Springs, California. When thinking of this interview and looking back over my work history, I worked for an oncologist who I see now as my second opinion doctor, and is currently taking me through remission. I started in the field during a time when I was enrolled in a medical training program for nursing. Concurrently, my husband’s mother had just passed away from her second bout of ovarian cancer at the age of 55, and I was pregnant with our son. This led me to learn more about cancer, and from there, I decided to switch my studies over to oncology as an ode to her and to pay it forward. The other side of this story is that now I have an educated understanding of my current cancer journey and how to approach healing and remission.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

There are two quotes that I like to blend. The first is “one day at a time” because you can’t think too far ahead when it comes to dealing with a disease like cancer. You must focus on what is in front of you right now. You have to recover and take care of yourself. The second one comes from a gift (a bracelet) one of my neighbors gave me that says, “life is tough, but so am I.” She told me that I deserved to have the bracelet because I was a tough individual. It was very touching because she also had a similar diagnosis. Knowing she was able to get through the process and is here to talk about her journey while encouraging me was extremely inspirational.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about surviving cancer. Do you feel comfortable sharing with us the story surrounding how you found out that you had cancer?

Before sharing my story, it’s important for me to share that cancer does not run in my family.

I remember the day clearly. It was October 11, 2020, during what was still the height of the pandemic. I had gotten out of the shower and put on a lightweight robe while talking to my husband. During our conversation, I casually crossed my arms around my chest, placing my hands near my armpits, and suddenly, I was like, “Oh, my gosh.” I started to feel around my left breast kind of near the armpit, and initially, I wasn’t planning on say anything because my husband and I were chit-chatting, you know? However, I freaked out and asked him to feel what I was feeling, and he confirmed that he also felt “something hard” near my armpit. The very next day, I called my primary care doctor, letting him know I’d found a lump the day prior, and his initial response was to set me up for a mammogram. I told him no, and that I needed to come into the office so he could confirm my suspicion. Thankfully, he was able to fit me in for an ultrasound, and I ended up getting a mammogram as well. By October 20, I had a biopsy performed on my left breast. After my appointments, my husband took me on a trip out of town for my birthday, and on our way back, my doctor called. We were on our way back into town when my doctor called to inform me, I did indeed have a full carcinoma, stage 3C, and that the surgeon and the oncologist would be calling me within the week for the next steps. By late November, I underwent a full double mastectomy with lymph nodes. My medical team was serious. It was a lot to go through in a short amount of time.

What was the scariest part of that event? What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?

One aspect that made my situation stressful was the pandemic being the backdrop for all of this. At the time, I wasn’t sure if I would or could be seen as quickly. The pandemic slowed things down, and my fear was that I would get caught up in the slow down. I’ve heard stories of people waiting three months to confirm a surgery date. Thankfully this was not my reality. Another factor was how fast this all accelerated. I did not have a lump at the start of September 2020; by October, the lump had appeared. So, the rate at which everything happens, again, can be a lot to handle and deal with (i.e., stress and anxiety), especially when you are making decisions that concern your health.

How did you react in the short term?

I started to see a psychiatrist to help with anxiety and to prescribe the appropriate low-dose anti-anxiety and depression medication to help me get through the mental stress of it all and to cope. There was a feeling of guilt in the process. I want to be here for my children, my husband, and my family. My husband had been through this process with his mother, and I, in a way, felt guilty for putting him through this for a second time.

After the dust settled, what coping mechanisms did you use? What did you do to cope physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually?

Seeking a mental health professional, again, was a critical factor in my journey. I am a believer in taking care of your mental health. Also, the support of family and friends. I do a lot of breathing exercises. One that helps me greatly is the 5–3–5 technique, where you breathe in through your nose for five counts, hold for three and breathe out through your mouth. It helps me to regroup and rebalance because this process can be overwhelming and emotional.

I am in my mid-thirties, and honestly, the diagnosis, treatment, and the entire process were heavy. I really thought I might die. The severity and intensity of the treatments–as it went on–I started to doubt that I would make it through. I completed the surgery, did chemotherapy for six months, radiation for six weeks, and chemo for an additional nine months, and then I had another surgery. Recently, I hit the remission marker. So, there is a two-year countdown for me, currently.

Even with those feelings of guilt, my family has also been a great form of coping for me as well. My daughter was three when I started the whole journey, and she was really good for snuggles and hugs, and she was totally down to hang out in bed all day and watch tv with me, you know? They were the best snuggles. She truly has an innocent little heart. My son is 13, and his reaction was more cautious when it came to me because he saw the physical changes of the mastectomy, so the process registered for him a bit more. Humorously, but with a sad smile, my daughter learned how to say ‘radiation oncologist’ during my appointments at GenesisCare. It was cute, sweet, and heart-wrenching all at once.

Is there a particular person you are grateful towards who helped you learn to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?

I would say that goes back to the bracelet because it’s with me all the time. And that was my neighbor. My immediate family, of course (i.e., my husband and children), and the team at GenesisCare. My radiation oncologist Dr. Ling was extremely patient and always took the time to answer any question I had. I actually looked forward to going there because everybody was so upbeat about it and having humor has helped me tremendously.

In my own cancer struggle, I sometimes used the idea of embodiment to help me cope. Let’s take a minute to look at cancer from an embodiment perspective. If your cancer had a message for you, what do you think it would want or say?

If cancer had a message for me, I would believe it would say to “be a strong person.” When I was a child, I was very strong-willed. I spoke my mind freely without being rude, of course, but I could, you know, get my opinion across and was aware of my boundaries. Along the way, I feel like I lost that part of me, and in some strange fate or twist of events, having cancer taught me this is my life; I am a person, and to remain strong through it all.

What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? How has cancer shaped your worldview? What has it taught you that you might never have considered before? Can you please explain with a story or example?

To my earlier point, I learned that I was stronger than I thought. Additionally, I also learned more than ever that every day is important. Tell people you love them and express your feelings. Often, we bottle up our emotions, and I’ve learned to be more giving with how I feel. Showing how I feel and opening up emotionally has helped me to show my teenage son how to be emotionally available and vulnerable. It’s truly a strength.

How have you used your experience to bring goodness to the world?

I have a couple of friends who I’ve gotten to know where we live and in the neighborhood that is not well, and they may be older than me. And I have kind of a dry sense of humor about my cancer journey. In trying to keep things light, I will jokingly share what it’s like to be in your mid-30s and have to go buy Depends for yourself–what a joy. During my treatment, I had to swallow my pride. It was hard. However, I’ve shown other people it’s still okay to laugh. On the other hand, I’ve shown people what it means to take time and not to feel like you must get everything done in one day. You don’t have to do everything. It’s okay to stop running errands; you can be tired, you can be sick, and it’s okay. This, coupled with humor, has helped my community of neighbors and friends, and I’ve had a few of them thank me, telling me, “I wish I could be like you,” or “you inspire me to keep going.” The saying “one day at a time” is true, and it’s really touching because we’re on the same boat, all trying to stay positive through it all.

What are a few of the biggest misconceptions and myths out there about fighting cancer that you would like to dispel?

When thinking of misconceptions, I would say cancer is not a death sentence. When I worked in oncology, I would see patients who were in their 60s, 70s, and 80s fighting and doing hydration and chemotherapy, and radiation. Now being a patient myself, I was usually the youngest one; I’ve learned it’s not your destiny. Additionally, everyone’s treatment and the process are different. You can’t compare your journey to someone else. This is your race to run. If I had to think of a myth, it’s that Asian pears help to remove radiation from the body, but this was actually true for me. I find when you put them in the refrigerator and let them cool, they are refreshing and help you feel much better.

Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experiences and knowledge, what advice would you give to others who have recently been diagnosed with cancer? What are your “5 Things You Need To Beat Cancer? Please share a story or example for each.

Most of my tips center around what to take with you to chemotherapy which really helped me beat the mental part of this process. So, I will share my tips:

• Get Comfortable — When you are going to chemotherapy, pick out a treatment blanket, shawl, or scarf. Something soft and comfortable. It may seem small, but it makes a huge difference in how you’re feeling in the process.
• Stay Hydrated- Dry mouth is a symptom of chemotherapy, so make sure you are staying extremely hydrated in the process. Dry mouth tablets (ACT makes a great brand) also help to keep those symptoms at bay. IV Hydration (you can get this from Costco) is amazing. If it’s too sweet, you can always add more water.
• Stay Mentally Engaged — The mandala coloring books were great forms of therapy for me. Mandalas are adult coloring books that really helped me deal with the stress and anxiety of chemotherapy.
• Detach from the Experience — I think it’s very mentally important to detach from the chemotherapy process. It gives you the capacity to basically handle one thing at a time. The detachment was a form of self-care for me. There will be moments when you have to process what’s happening really quickly. You can process it, but you’ll still have moments when you feel that this entire process would have been worse if I had not detached myself. For example, I did not join online groups and boards because it would freak me out and make me paranoid. My therapist wanted me to do it, and I finally told them that joining those groups would force me to admit I have cancer. I didn’t want to hear all of the bad stories or struggles because then I would carry those emotions and struggle. I knew engaging in that way would make my anxiety about my situation worse.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be?

I believe everybody should have a right to a second opinion by a physician they choose. For most people, I know second opinions come down to having a certain type of insurance and approvals, etc. Many people fall in between certain levels of insurance, and they have to wait, or a second opinion is not covered. Fortunately, I was a cash-paying patient and had the means to seek a second opinion quickly. I see a huge gap in this area. My movement would be creating funding for second opinions. There are many organizations that are not legitimate in this area. I would create a fund to cover the cost of a second opinion for your diagnosis– regardless of income, circumstance, or insurance.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

I really love the comedian, John Mulaney. He’s incredibly funny.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!