Emily Edgeley On The 5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker

An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis

Growth Mindset — All the great speakers I’ve known have worked hard to get where they’re at. They’ve played to their strengths and worked to address their weaknesses. They’ve sought out feedback and ways to improve along the way. They know they’ll never stop learning and that there’s always room to improve. This pushes them to think of new and exciting ways to deliver their message and get an audience engaged.

At some point in our lives, many of us will have to give a talk to a large group of people. What does it take to be a highly effective public speaker? How can you improve your public speaking skills? How can you overcome a fear of speaking in public? What does it take to give a very interesting and engaging public talk? In this interview series called “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker” we are talking to successful and effective public speakers to share insights and stories from their experience. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Emily Edgeley.

Emily Edgeley is a Public Speaking Coach for the Technology industry. Since 2017 she’s run over 100 group coaching sessions, coached more than 200 people privately and formally supported first time and experienced speakers at 10 Conferences, covering 1000+ people across the globe. She’s on a mission to help anyone in the Tech arena learn how to speak with clarity, impact and confidence. So they can share their ideas, build their brand and start to enjoy public speaking.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

I grew up in Australia, in the leafy eastern suburbs of Melbourne, as one of 3 girls (I was the middle child). My dad worked for himself as an Architect and worked long hours. But my mum didn’t work whilst we were younger. So we had the luxury of a connected and present mum, who was always around and always there for us.

I was a particularly shy child. But as I was good at athletics, I had an identity at school, which improved my self-confidence. My strongest memory of my childhood is my mum telling me “ You’re so determined”. This made me even more determined, as I would never have realised this about myself at such a young age.

That’s the single most powerful trait that has allowed me to transform myself. From a shy child who clung to her mother when she was little. Into a successful cyber security professional. Then onto a successful entrepreneur and public speaking coach. I believe I can achieve anything I set my mind to. That’s thanks to my mum, for re-enforcing that belief in me when I was younger.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?

Coming from 5 years studying Pure Maths and Cyber Security at Uni and also not loving the limelight, I struggled presenting at the start of my career. I was great with numbers and analysing things, but put me in front of an audience and ask me to present and I would crumble. My heart would be racing, I wouldn’t be able to think clearly and I wouldn’t even be able to get my thoughts out coherently. It was embarrassing to say the least, given I had so much knowledge to share.

I knew I had two options — either run from my fear, or face it head on. But I knew I couldn’t actually live a life trying to avoid any type of public speaking. So I decided I was going to do whatever it took to not only calm my nerves, but to level up my game.

So, I spent years learning and practising the art of public speaking. I not only found my confidence, but an ability to engage and influence people as well. I then distilled, demystified and decoded what I learnt. Then I started sharing it, as I love helping people. I now teach others how to give more interesting talks, magnify their influence and get excited about presenting.

To date I’ve helped more than 100+ people across 100+ group sessions (either in-person or online). I’ve coached 100+ people privately and I’ve supported first time and experienced speakers across 10 Conferences. Being able to do this for a job is awesome and it fills me with joy, every single day!

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

When I first thought about becoming a public speaking coach, I remember thinking that it was a ridiculous idea. I thought that if people knew I struggled with nerves in the past, they wouldn’t want to hire me and would think I was a fraud. But I also knew that through vulnerability comes connection and that my story could have the potential to inspire others.

So, in one of my first talks as a public speaking coach, to a University class, I plucked up the courage to share my struggles and how I overcame them. I was a little bit apprehensive about how it would be received, but that all melted away when a girl came up to me afterwards. She said “I just wanted to say thank-you for sharing your story with me. I feel like I’m in exactly the same position and it’s given me a lot of hope that I too can one day become an amazing public speaker”.

That made me realise that my audience needed to know I once was like them and that I had been able to change. It taught me that what used to be my biggest weakness was in fact my biggest strength and that was liberating.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I remember engaging a presentation deck design company in the early stages. Curious at how they could help me create a beautifully designed pack that I could use. I already had a talk fleshed out, with a pack, but I felt like it wasn’t that professional or slick. So I engaged this company’s help and was eager to see what they’d produce.

But, they simply took my existing slides and replaced them with their own interpretation. The version they sent me was consistently branded throughout and looked aesthetically beautiful. Yet it lacked soul and personality. In fact at times did less to support the audience’s understanding of what I was presenting!

I remember having a good laugh at this when they arrived. I couldn’t use them like that because they didn’t even represent the points I was trying to get across. E.g. I had a slide that had a screen-shot of a TED Talk I was referencing at that point in the talk. They’d removed it and replaced it with a stock image of props which wasn’t what I was referring to at that place at all. We went through many revisions. But it ended up with me having to pick certain images to ensure it reflected what I was saying. Then the consistency that the company was so stuck on got broken.

It was a important lesson that the primary purpose of a pack is not to look good. It’s to help an audience understand and remember what you’re telling them. Additionally it’s to invoke some emotion in your audience. You must create your slides as a speaker in order for them to support what you’re saying. Get someone else to create your slides (who doesn’t understand what points you’re making at every stage) and prioritise looks over relevance? Well you’ll get a pack that doesn’t support your messages. That won’t help you achieve the outcome you want.

Now I create all my slides, so I make sure they’re illustrating the exact points I’m trying to make and don’t just ‘look good’. Whilst it’s more time consuming, it’s well worth it.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

There’s been so many, but one of my mentors, Dave Lourdes, has been great at challenging me to find the right answers for myself when I’m stuck.

I remember sitting down for coffee with him when I was debating whether to stay in my corporate job or start my own Public Speaking business. I was so unsure at the time. But one of the questions he asked me helped me figure out the right answer. “What are you scared of if you stay and what are you scared of if you leave” he asked me.

Using this well worded question, he helped ME see that the risk of taking the plunge was actually less than the risk of staying. I’ve never looked back since. So that help, to push me to ask myself some tough questions, rather than giving me advice, was invaluable. Had I stayed where I was, I wouldn’t be here now changing lives or sharing my advice with your readers!

You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging and intimidating. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?

I don’t see failure as a thing and I think that mindset helps. No path is straightforward. There will always be bumps and setbacks along the way. But to me that’s essential and I see them as opportunities to course correct and learn and become wiser. There’s always a lesson to be learnt.

The other thing that helps is to focus on why you’re doing what you’re doing. As long as there’s a compelling why, it will continue to drive you to keep going, even when you have bad days or times when you feel like giving up.

What drives you to get up everyday and give your talks? What is the main empowering message that you aim to share with the world?

The fact that what I share can change people’s lives is what lights me up every single day! Seeing people transform from a place of extreme anxiety and avoidance into a place of calm and confidence is the best feeling ever. Or helping people overcome their fear of speaking, so they can grace a stage for the first time and give the best talk of the conference! This doesn’t feel like a job at all, it’s a privilege!

My main empowering message would be — “You’re not born a great public speaker, it’s a skill that can be learnt”. Realising that early on gave me a lot of confidence that I too could become the speaker I dreamt to be.

You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?

I’ve been lucky enough to be involved in an initiative called Project Friedman. PF aims to increase the number of women on the Cyber Security Speaking Circuit. It’s delivered in partnership with WomenSpeakCyber and the Australian Women in Security Network (AWSN). We established this because the number of women speaking at Security Conferences is drastically low. At some conferences there isn’t even one female speaker.

As part of this initiative, I coached 10 women in 2019 who’d never spoken on a stage before. By the end of that year they’d all achieved that goal. Even better, they’ve since gone on to speak at further events and Conferences. Including one lady who has even gone on to give a TEDx Talk! I started coaching another 10 women in 2021. We’ve nearly achieved our goal of getting them to all speak at a Cybersecurity Event or Conference too.

We’re thrilled to be adding some brilliant women to the speaker line-up at Security events and Conferences across Australia. We also can’t wait to support more in 2023 and beyond. So that in the future (well before our children grow up), it will be normal for audiences to see a 50:50 split of genders up on stage.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

When I was little, my mum shared this Calvin Coolidge quote with me about determination. I remember printing it out and sticking it next to my bunk bed when I was perhaps about 10 years old, so it would be front of mind every day.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On!’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” ― Calvin Coolidge

This quote gave me so much confidence and hope that I just needed to keep trying and as long as I did that, I could achieve anything. That was an powerful message to believe in as a child and I still believe that to this day.

Ok, thank you for all that. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Public Speaker?” Please share a story or example for each.

1. Gift Giving Focus — You have to come from an audience centric perspective, rather than a speaker or topic centric perspective . This requires you to put yourself in the audience’s shoes. I have coached brilliant minds before, people that are in high powered, executive positions. They’ve had a lot of experience and a lot of knowledge to share. But, that doesn’t automatically translate to a great presentation for an audience. It’s not about showing them how knowledgeable you are, or telling them about the amazing things you’ve done. It’s about being able to meet your audience where they are. With the issues they have and offer up what you know as an answer to those problems. That requires you to think about public speaking as if you’re giving your audience a gift. You need to package it up so that the audience gets something they need, want and can use later.
2. To Show, Not Tell — If you’ve ever told any “I told you so!” or had anyone tell that to you, you innately already know what I’m talking about here. No-one is influenced or inspired to change their behaviour by being told something. If you look at all the best TED Talks, they spend most of their time explaining the WHY and showing you, rather than telling you, why their idea matters. I did a poll on LinkedIn a while ago and I asked people this question — When have you learnt the most in life. I gave people 4 options: 1) Experienced It. 2) Reflected on It. 3) Were Told 4) Read It. About 80% of people responded with #1, with the remaining 19% on #2 and practically no-one said they read or were told it. This was not a surprise to me. But it proves that people don’t learn from being told things. It reinforces why I always try and show people, rather than tell them the points I’m trying to get across.
3. Tell Stories — I used to run the Toastmasters Club for our company when I still worked for a corporate. We always wanted to attract new members and also keep our current members engaged and inspired. So we decided to get some of the execs from our company to join us as a guest speaker every few months. To share their speaking journey and any tips they had on how to become a better speaker. We invited execs from all across the company, in various roles. They were all very interesting and shared great tips with us. But the only one I can remember in enough detail 10 years later is the one who shared a simple tip with us, with a story wrapped around it. This is living proof that stories are way more memorable than facts and figures. Stories are also easier to relate to than facts and figures and will persuade people to take action more than reeling off the ‘reasons’ why. They’re a triple threat and hence essential to master if you want to become a great speaker.
4. Growth Mindset — All the great speakers I’ve known have worked hard to get where they’re at. They’ve played to their strengths and worked to address their weaknesses. They’ve sought out feedback and ways to improve along the way. They know they’ll never stop learning and that there’s always room to improve. This pushes them to think of new and exciting ways to deliver their message and get an audience engaged.
5. To Be Present — Your talk will never have the desired impact if you deliver it like a robot. Somewhat disconnected from the audience. You need to talk to them as if you’re speaking to them each, 1:1. Once you’re present like this, you’re speaking to people and having a conversation. Rather than reading from notes. You’re thinking about the here and now, not what people are going to think about you later. Once you’re present, you give the words the right emphasis they need. You use the power of a pause when required to get people to pay attention. You look people in the eye. You interact with them. You support what you’re saying with your hands and body and facial expressions. You do all the things that you most likely do when you’re speaking 1:1 with someone. That creates a connection and that’s what drives a message home.

As you know, many people are terrified of speaking in public. Can you give some of your advice about how to overcome this fear?

The top 3 actions that I’ve found helped me and help my clients to go from a place of extreme anxiety and avoidance, to being able to get excited to present are as follows:

• Learn the art of public speaking and storytelling — public speaking is a skill and like all other skills, there are techniques and steps you must follow and things you must avoid which will almost guarantee you’ll deliver a talk that’s interesting and engaging. Once you learn these techniques, it becomes a completely different ball game. That can fill you with a heap of confidence.
• Set micro goals and build up your experience incrementally — like with any fears, it’s good to slowly de-sensitize yourself to that which you’re afraid of. The reason this works is that how we feel about something is very much determined by our past experiences doing that very thing. So, if you can build up positive experiences, you’ll be much less nervous about raising the bar so to speak every time.
• Harness the power of your mind — when we’re afraid of something, we tend to worry about it. But, that continual focus on what could go wrong gives more ‘air time’ to the very thing that we don’t want to happen. That then increases the likelihood that it will in fact occur. The secret is to learn to focus on what you do want and reframe any negative thoughts that come up to positive ones. Also, reframing what you believe about public speaking can have a dramatic effect on how nervous you get. As beliefs impact how we feel, which in turn impacts how we behave. Even down to our heart-rate and other physical sensations/symptoms.

You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

To normalize the fear of public speaking and reduce the stigma and shame that people have around it. We’re all human and we care what other people think and we care about looking silly. Yet that alone can cause us to have anxiety about speaking in the first place. This then drives us to become nervous, which we sometimes perceive as ‘the end of the world’. That then causes us to worry about it happening again and so the vicious cycle continues.

If we could all feel safer to be human and to be a little nervous and we all spoke about it more, that would significantly reduce people’s nerves. Imagine a world where everyone felt free and confident to share their incredible ideas with the world. To speak up in meetings, to talk on a stage, even to give a speech at a wedding or leaving party. Because they weren’t so worried about the consequences. What a wonderful place that would be!

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Malala Yousafzai — What she’s been able to do at such an early age is so inspiring. How selfless she’s been in her push for education and how brave she is in the face of terrorism is remarkable. I’m so impressed by how passionate she is about driving change and advocating for women who don’t have a voice.

I’ve read her book, I’ve seen her speak before, but I’d love to have lunch with her and be able to chat with her 1:1. So I could hear more of her story and what drives her and get to know the real Malala.

Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?

My Website — https://www.emilyedgeley.com/

LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/emily-edgeley/

Twitter — https://twitter.com/Emily_Edgeley

This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!