Emma-Jane Truter of The Reset Medical and Wellness Center On Strategies for Rebuilding Life After Trauma
An Interview With Nancy Landrum
As I’ve gone through these ‘experiences’ or ‘events’ or ‘traumas’ in my life, there have been major factors that have helped me adjust and work through these transitions and cycles. I would say a major factor is my faith in Jesus Christ. I found my faith in 2016 after going through my last 8-month stay in rehab. As soon as I found God and let Him take over, I felt free and surrendered to life and its reality which can consist of many paradoxical predicaments each and every day. With this, also came a shift in my mindset. When I decided to start feeding my life with positive thoughts (The Bible speaks about what you profess with your tongue, you will essentially become or bring into your life.
Trauma can arrive dressed in many different circumstances. You may be the victim of a criminal act. Your house may be destroyed by fire, flood or tornado. You may be fired from a job you loved. An illness or accident may change what you physically can do. Someone you dearly love may reject you or die. Even good things require us to explore a different version of who we are. We fall in love, marry, have a child, start a new career. No one gets through life without a trauma or two changing the trajectory of your future. At those junctures in life, we have to reimagine who we are now. What changes must I make in order to live the life I now have? Today I have the privilege of interviewing Emma-Jane Truter.
Emma-Jane was born and raised in Cape Town, South Africa, and at 32 years old, she has faced significant challenges in her life, particularly in the realm of mental health. She has battled substance abuse, which led to numerous stays in rehab and institutions for mental illness. At one point, she was taking up to 18 prescription pills a day and was constantly in a state of “fight or flight.”
As her life progressed, Emma-Jane encountered further struggles, including two sexual assaults and a suicide attempt. Most recently, she experienced burnout from overworking in her business, “emmaissocial.com,” driven by a deep-seated fear of failure. Over the past 18 months, she transitioned into a “freeze” state, which has proven to be her most challenging period. Isolated in her home, working 17-hour days with limited personal interaction, Emma-Jane found herself struggling to maintain friendships, while quietly suffering despite promoting mental health to her team. She experienced weight loss, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, and a resurgence of alcohol and substance abuse, self-harm, and intense anger.
Emma-Jane reflects on her former self — a childlike, extroverted, adventurous, and visionary individual who dreamed of changing the world through writing and truth-telling in the media. Despite her challenges, she has a unique and quirky approach to marketing strategies, which makes her an innovative and dynamic leader. With experience managing an advertising agency, building brands from scratch, and launching emotional support platforms for mental health, Emma-Jane excels as both a team leader and in managing client relations. Her keen eye for trends and passion for developing impactful campaigns continue to drive her forward.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Please describe who you were before circumstances required you to change.
Hi my name is Emma-Jane and I was born and raised in Cape Town, South Africa. I am 32 years old and have battled through different areas involving mental health struggles; substance abuse that included many trips to rehab and/or institutions for ‘mental illness’. I used to take up to 18 prescription pills a day and was always in what I understand now as ‘fight or flight’ mode.
As life has progressed and more things have happened including two ‘SA’s’ and a suicide attempt and most recently hitting burnout from overworking (out of a fear of failure) in my business “emmaissocial.com” — I transitioned over the last 18 months into what we call the ‘freeze’ state. This has surprisingly been the most difficult to navigate. I was isolated in my home working 17 hour days, limited personal and outside capacity, struggling to keep connection or time within friendships, promoting mental health to my team and suffering quietly. Weight loss began, insomnia arrived, sexual dysfunction (been an issue since an ‘SA; in 2008), alcohol abuse came back alongside illicit substances occasionally, self-harm returned and then a rage I have never felt overcame me in every part of my day.
I was weighed down and not only was I suppressing the negative emotions, because when we are in ‘freeze’ state we actually suppress both the negative and positive and so life became mundane and the urge to destroy it in a moment returned and I began to do just that.
I still remember and pine for childlike, extroverted, excited, adventurous, safe, boundaried and funny Emma. She dreamed of writing and changing the world by showcasing the truth in the media, risking her life for others and also whose visionary ideas never seemed to dull down. Younger Emma, who after some unexpected life events, morphed into the now described recluse in ‘freeze’ state. .
Was the life change something you chose? Or was it thrust on you unexpectedly, as a surprise? Please explain in detail.
The first major trauma that I would say greatly affected me was at the age of 15 when my parents went through a difficult and tumultuous divorce. It was unexpected, to say the least, as it involved an intimate family affair. At the same time, I was dating an abusive boyfriend and self-harming.
From there, things started snowballing which ultimately ended with me going through major periods of depression, mania, suicidal ideation, anger/rage, overwhelming numbness, substance abuse, and eventually a suicide attempt which landed me in ICU and then back into rehab in 2016.
What were your initial feelings about this change in circumstances? Give a few examples.
While facing changes in circumstances throughout my life, a main feeling that reared its head a lot was anger. Anger towards the person for the pain they caused through their actions against me or others. Or even just anger that was completely off-sides and didn’t belong in the situation or even within reach of that person. An anger that then evolved into rage where I started to smash plates from the outbursts, dig my nails into my skin or drink wine to numb it. Another earlier feeling I experienced was resentment. Resentment with the person for bringing me into the situation and affecting my view of life, love, my relationships in every form (i.e. capacity in friendship), and introducing patterns such as self sabotage, phobia of commitment, and of course, especially, the idea that death was easier than life.
How long did it take to see how you could survive or thrive in your new circumstances?
It’s definitely been a long battle. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve experienced ‘major’ trauma throughout different periods in my life so it’s hard to really quantify how long it took for me to realize I can survive through my trauma.
However, I would say that as I’ve experienced these traumas or events, there have always been major factors that have helped me work through it. Major factors that helped me realize I could survive through them includes cognitive therapy since 2012 (after my first rehab visit), and finding my faith after my suicide attempt in 2016 as two simple examples. .
What are five important choices you made that helped you adjust to the change in your life?
As I’ve gone through these ‘experiences’ or ‘events’ or ‘traumas’ in my life, there have been major factors that have helped me adjust and work through these transitions and cycles. I would say a major factor is my faith in Jesus Christ. I found my faith in 2016 after going through my last 8-month stay in rehab. As soon as I found God and let Him take over, I felt free and surrendered to life and its reality which can consist of many paradoxical predicaments each and every day. With this, also came a shift in my mindset. When I decided to start feeding my life with positive thoughts (The Bible speaks about what you profess with your tongue, you will essentially become or bring into your life…Now imagine if you say you hate yourself everyday, what does that look like to your decisions to become healthy or prosper?), my lighter outlook on life allowed me to not focus on blaming others for situations I kept finding myself in, and instead focus on getting back to who I wanted to be or always dreamed of becoming (Fun Fact: When I was 5 years old, I told my mom that all I wanted was to leave a legacy of kindness and purpose, whilst helping others). Additionally, I committed to Neuro Linguistic programming, psychotherapy, T.R.E and the 12 Steps every week and journaling which allowed me to feel through my emotions and not continue to keep bottling things up. I also learned a lot about a concept my-still-addiction counselor, Desiree-Ann Martin, taught me well which is called ‘internal authority’ which helped me to start looking inward and prevent causing more damage when dishonest or compulsive behaviors arose. The most recent choice I’ve made that helped me adjust to major trauma was the Neuro Sympathetic Reset (NSR) Treatment that I had done at Reset Medical and Wellness Center in Strongsville, Ohio. I flew all the way to the states from South Africa after learning about it from Kelly Price, CEO of RESET. Choosing to get the shot which essentially resets the sympathetic nervous system, has allowed me to significantly recover from a lifetime of crippling stress, debilitating anxiety, and suicidal depression.
Have you been able to flourish in your new circumstances?
Yes, after my most recent visit to Reset Medical and Wellness Center at the beginning of this year, I instantly felt a wave of relief. I did an interview pre-treatment with Kelly Price (CEO & Founder) where I mentioned how desperate I was to seek relief after reaching my wits’ end due to my suicidal ideation coming back in such a drastic way of escapism that I became scared of myself and impulses, yet again. After my injections, that’s exactly what the treatment did for me. The injections allowed me to immediately physically release all my suppressed emotions and pain that I had built up over time. With the treatment, and continuous mental health work, like therapy, it has allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief ultimately letting me focus on providing a better life for myself. I do think that because of the level and amount of trauma I’ve experienced throughout my 32 years, ranging from family, romantic relationships, friendships, bullying, harassment, etc. I’m in a unique situation where I would need to go back to RESET for a second round of treatment, (maybe even still this year as I cannot wait!). However, this has totally allowed me to feel immediate relief and release from those overwhelming emotions which is exactly what I needed at the time. I don’t suffer from insomnia or extreme anxiety to the point of gagging every morning. Which for me, is UNBELIEVABLE!
In the long run, I would love to get other treatments the clinic offers such as Trigger Point Therapy and the Ketamine IV-Infusions. But, without hesitation, the NSR first. Most people will need 1x shot and some will need 2 x shots. I just happen to be someone who holds pain a little too close to the chest, and therefore, my body might just need a second to breathe and release some more raw emotion.
What do you like or value about the new you that has emerged as a result of these circumstances?
There are many things that I value about myself more recently. There’s this quote that says that you have two lives, and your second one starts when you realize you only have one to live. The NSR Treatment helped me realize that.
After my NSR Treatment I was able to set more boundaries to protect my wellbeing such as client-relation boundaries and setting work hours that were previously negatively affecting my relationships to a level where I lost some friendships. I also feel vulnerable, intimate, open, and free again just like how I used to be before substances. The main thing I greatly value about myself now, is that I can now release the flood of emotions that had built up over the years, in a healthy and vulnerable way. If it involves a person close to me, we can courageously and without blame have a conversation and continue to practice brave communication and get vulnerable to remain connected.
If some time has passed, have you found things about the original trauma for which you now feel gratitude?
I think with every traumatic experience that I’ve gone through there’s always something I’ve found to be grateful for. From my parents divorce to the sexual assault and the substance abuse issues I’ve lived, these experiences led to a lot of focus on forgiveness and redemption. I’m grateful my experiences have also allowed me to understand the mind of perpetrators and justice to a different degree and wanting people to find freedom and fulfill in wholeness to be who they were destined to be despite their circumstances. I’m grateful for all the failed and successful romantic relationships that I’ve had as they allowed me to fully realize what I actually want and deserve in a relationship. Ultimately, going through all the major life changes I’ve had in my life was definitely not easy, but without it, I don’t know if I would be who I am today.
What are the best outcomes that are a direct result of the personal growth that was forced from you as a result of this trauma? Describe.
As a result of the personal growth I’ve experienced from my trauma I’ve been able to help bring people to Christ, and help people in prison through organizations such as ‘Restorative Justice’. Additionally, I’ve learned that I don’t have to be afraid of failure and that I can be exceptionally strong, resilient, and tenacious on top of being a kind and compassionate human being. I’ve also discovered a feeling of wholeness. The Christian derivation of my name ‘Emma-Jane’, actually means wholeness. When I chat to God, he’s spoken to me about being His Garden of Eden (we all are that masterpiece to Him anyway), and calling me to help people see themselves in that same light as well. All of my traumas have helped shape me to who I am today and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
Was any particular person, or book instrumental in helping you formulate who the new you could be following this trauma?
Throughout my experiences, I would say that my counselors have been major agents in helping me formulate who I can be despite everything I’ve been through or perceived by my actions through others…
I see my pastor once a week, I have an addiction counselor now weekly again, and I have recently started going to a psychiatrist despite having a very negative experience where I was overprescribed medication at a young age for a wrong diagnosis by the same psych from 15–28 years old.
While all of these different sessions push me to really focus on the ‘why’ of everything I experience, it has allowed for a sense of familiarity and a safe space to work on who I want to be without judgment or shame/guilt.
Additionally, there are several books, movies, and music artists that allow me to relate to either their characters and situations which help me feel a sense of ease. One of my favorite books is called “A Life in Pieces” by Richard K. Baer. It is about a psychiatrist who talks about a patient with Multiple Personality Disorder (DID). One of my favorite movies is ‘Girl Interrupted’ as I can identify with the moods and thought patterns of Winona Ryder and the mania of Angelina Jolie. One of my favorite music artists recently, ‘Ren’, has helped me relate to different emotional situations that he writes about. I HIGHLY recommend you watch his music video “Hi Ren” by Ren on youtube.
Have there been opportunities to encourage or support others who are going through similar traumas? Please describe.
Yes, I’ve actually found myself in many situations where I’ve been an advocate for injustice or even other trauma’s I’ve experienced. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve been able to help with the organization, ‘Restorative Justice’ in prisons; I have led NA meetings in larger prisons; counseling work in rehabs; and doing service and mission trips in the states through ministry school in California.
I’ve advocated heavily against sex-trafficking and worked on two sex-trafficking awareness films, as well as an Anti-PornHub campaign on social media through the ministry ‘Exodus Cry’ for the lack of age verification, rape and much more on the websites.
Through everything that I’ve been through, I realized my life purpose is being an advocate and ALWAYS standing for the underdog no matter what. I genuinely believe that my trauma taught me that people actually aren’t far from redemption when met with love. I want to build businesses solely supporting others through their pain or trauma, and reminding them that there’s hope on the other side of this and it does indeed get better. So I’ve been fortunate to be able to help people understand their sense of belongingness, purpose, find freedom, embrace their fullness and that they are perfect as they were intended for by Creation.
Is there any particular person with whom you’d love to share a meal or a conversation about the lessons learned through trauma?
Given that there’s different facets to who I am and where I want to help, I think I would choose to sit with different people based on the different parts of a justice-minded yet compassionate heart. Someone I greatly admire in neuroscience and health is Jordan Peterson. In ministry and faith I would like to sit with Kris Valloton, an incredible pastor and leader who I met through my time at Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry. Then in terms of advocates for causes I admire, I would love to sit with Christine Caine, who works to fight against sex trafficking globally, or even my friend, Benji Nolot, who is the CEO of Exodus Cry and Magic Lantern Pictures. I think I actually need a big round table to gather everyone I would love to talk to about trauma and how each part of us can heal someone else.
I am so grateful you’ve been able to share this experience. It is truly inspiring!
About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.
