Erin Engelke Of Calm Waters: Five Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Leader During Turbulent Times

An Interview With Fotis Georgiadis

Surround yourself with a support system. I am a strong advocate for executive coaching, especially as a CEO. Leadership can be a very lonely place! You need a safe space to talk openly about the challenges you’re facing as a leader without pushing it onto your team, and an executive coach is one of the best ways to receive that kind of confidential support. I participate in an executive coaching group every month and they have guided me through countless challenging workplace experiences.

As a part of our series about the “Five Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Leader During Turbulent Times”, we had the pleasure of interviewing Erin Engelke.

Erin Engelke, APR is the Executive Director for Calm Waters Center for Children & Families, a nonprofit grief center located in Oklahoma City that serves children and families who have experienced loss due to death, divorce or other significant loss, providing free support groups and other services. She is also a certified trainer, public speaker and executive coach for Strata Leadership.

Prior to Calm Waters, Erin served in executive nonprofit leadership roles for Sunbeam Family Services, Feed the Children and World Neighbors. She has traveled extensively around the world, including Guatemala, Albania, and Peru and has a heart for seeing children and families thrive no matter where they live.

Her deepest passion is empowering other working parents to resist the pull to achieve work-life balance, instead seeking a fulfilled life. Her expertise and real-life perspectives have been heard on stages across Oklahoma, including as a TEDx presenter in 2014 and keynote speaker for the Junior League of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma City Working Mom Summit and other leadership conferences. She is a writer, blogger and founder of www.beautyinthebusyness.com.

Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?

I began my career in corporate and agency PR and marketing, with every intent of rising the corporate ladder, but four years in, discovered my skills and experience could best be utilized in supporting the leadership efforts of the nonprofit sector. Little did I know how much I would fall in love with the nonprofit community! Over the past 16 years, I’ve led and managed teams at four notable charities — World Neighbors, Feed the Children, Sunbeam Family Services and now at Calm Waters Center for Children & Families where I serve as the agency’s youngest Executive Director. In all four of these roles, I stepped in at a time when change was greatly needed and when strong leadership was needed. I excel at building a team from the ground up — quickly identifying what needs to be done, rallying a staff to help execute a strategy and making positive change happen. I love seeing my teams succeed! My success is their success. Most of all, I get such joy out of witnessing the change that can happen because of a powerful mission.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?

I can’t say I’ve made a funniest mistake, but I’ve certainly made some embarrassing ones! The most notable are the times I have called interns by the wrong names or forgotten a staff person’s work anniversary date. In other words, it’s the times my brain is so full that I forget things!

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

I have three! For starters, my mother taught me the value of hard work and how to step outside of my comfort zone, even when I didn’t think I could do it. She continues to be a wonderful example of what it means to be a mother and servant leader. As I began my career, I was privileged to work under the first female CEO of World Neighbors. She took a chance on me, seeing more potential in me than I even realized existed, and promoted me to Vice President of Marketing & Communications when I was 26 years old and 7 months pregnant with my first child. Her boldness, tenacity and strong leadership was an inspiration to me and the impetus for me to pour into the lives of other young potential leaders. Later in my career, I worked for another CEO whose leadership style was unlike any other. He believed in the Southwest Airlines methodology — if you invest in your employees, they will provide the highest quality of customer service to their clients. He genuinely cared about me, my family, and my long term dreams, wanting to help see them come to fruition, even if it meant I no longer worked for him. I credit him for teaching me the value of true servant leadership and consider him a life-long mentor and friend.

Extensive research suggests that “purpose driven businesses” are more successful in many areas. When your company started, what was its vision, what was its purpose?

Calm Waters was founded because of a 9 year old boy who desperately needed mental health support after the sudden death of his father. There were no resources available within Oklahoma City and consequently, Calm Waters was born! Our original mission was to provide grief support groups for children but the agency quickly realized what a tremendous need there was for support groups for adults struggling with loss due to death and divorce. Today, our purpose and mission has never wavered and nearly 30 years later, we have served 60,000 grieving children, teens and adults.

Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion. Can you share with our readers a story from your own experience about how you lead your team during uncertain or difficult times?

I can’t think of a CEO or leader today who wouldn’t consider the global pandemic an uncertain and difficult time. It has been incredibly challenging and anxiety provoking! I have made it my goal to be the calm in this storm, however, to ensure my team had certainty in something. We made the decision early on in the pandemic to close our offices and work from home, which was hugely challenging for my staff whose work is dependent upon being around people. I established a regular routine for all of us, beginning with a team Zoom meeting every single morning at 9am, giving us the opportunity to connect, talk about our priorities for the day and share our stressors. To this day, my team credits that daily connection with the reason they were able to still thrive while we were separated.

Did you ever consider giving up? Where did you get the motivation to continue through your challenges? What sustains your drive?

I not once considered giving up! I am incredibly driven to see my staff succeed and our clients served and those two priorities drive my motivation every single day. I’m sustained by ensuring I am in a good place mentally and physically so that means I take time off when I need it, workout every day and lean on my executive coach and/or therapist for mental health support.

What would you say is the most critical role of a leader during challenging times?

Serving as a leader is a tremendous honor but also one that comes with heavy responsibility. We are called to set the vision for our companies, inspire and motivate staff, ensure financial sustainability, communicate effectively, and serve as the key representative within the community. In essence, be all things to all people! In order to inspire those around us, leaders must convey confidence in themselves and their teams, positively communicate (even in the challenging times!) and above all, genuinely care about their staff and their lives beyond the workplace. At the end of the day, each of us wants to feel valued and appreciated, not just be viewed as a means to an end. For me, I strive to be confident in who I am and my purpose while showing humility and kindness to those around me. I find that confidence breeds huge amounts of respect and motivates others to join you, whether that’s in leading your team, making decisions, or building relationships with clients, shareholders or donors.

When the future seems so uncertain, what is the best way to boost morale? What can a leader do to inspire, motivate and engage their team?

Begin with empathy! Listen to your team members, ask about their lives outside of the workplace and genuinely care about their wellbeing. When employees know their leader wants the best for them and will support their professional goals and dreams, they are more likely to work harder, be loyal to your mission and go above and beyond for your clients/customers. I love to give surprise gifts or write a personal note of encouragement for my staff. I laugh with them too! Work doesn’t have to be a boring, stiff environment. Get out of your office and engage with your employees. Making the culture enjoyable and fun will drive employees to come back every day with a positive, can-do attitude!

What is the best way to communicate difficult news to one’s team and customers?

As leaders, we will have to share unfortunate or difficult information which is why it is paramount to have built trust and respect with your team before that becomes a necessity. Providing as much transparency as possible is critical. There will likely be confidential information that cannot be shared, but being honest about what you can and cannot share will ensure your staff and/or clients can trust you.

How can a leader make plans when the future is so unpredictable?

A plan is just a guide! But every leader MUST have a plan, beginning with what they know in that moment of time. With COVID, our team still had to provide services to our clients which meant rewriting all of our service delivery plans….a huge endeavor! We didn’t know how long we would need to offer our services a different way but we were prepared to shift to a different model again when the time was appropriate.

Is there a “number one principle” that can help guide a company through the ups and downs of turbulent times?

Remain true to why you exist. Your mission and purpose should never waiver, especially during the valleys of leadership.

Can you share 3 or 4 of the most common mistakes you have seen other businesses make during difficult times? What should one keep in mind to avoid that?

1. Caring more about the bottom line and less about the people you are there to serve or help.
2. Hiding information or not being honest and transparent about decisions being made within the business or organization.
3. Avoiding crucial conversations with staff, causing mistrust and chaos among the team. You have to discuss hard things. Read the book Crucial Conversations to learn how!

Generating new business, increasing your profits, or at least maintaining your financial stability can be challenging during good times, even more so during turbulent times. Can you share some of the strategies you use to keep forging ahead and not lose growth traction during a difficult economy?

I am bold and aggressive when I am faced with challenges, especially financial ones. I believe every challenge is simply a problem to be solved and I attack it with that perspective in mind, seeking solutions from my team, peers and board members to help.

Here is the primary question of our discussion. Based on your experience and success, what are the five most important things a business leader should do to lead effectively during uncertain and turbulent times? Please share a story or an example for each.

1. Ensure YOU are in a good place first. You can’t effectively take care of your team or lead your business/organization if you are struggling, personally or professionally. For me, I make sure I build into my schedule time to work out — usually a run or a lifting session at the gym. I also am diligent to take time off when I need it, and when I am off, modeling for my staff that time off is important and ensuring I set boundaries with that time off — not checking email or working from home.
2. Be clear about where you want your organization/business to go. It is your responsibility to set the vision and create as much certainty as possible for your team. Each year, I host an offsite strategic planning session with my executive team where we talk openly about what goals we have for the agency in the coming year. We dig deep into how we can improve while also celebrating the successes to date. Once the plan is complete, I schedule quarterly strategic plan review meetings to ensure our plan doesn’t gather dust on the shelf! We make modifications to the plan, as needed, during those meetings.
3. Be the calm in the storm…manage challenges without losing it or creating more chaos for your team. Uncertainty from a leader breeds more uncertainty with our staff! And while we may not always have the answers all the time, the way we react always sets the tone for our culture and the way our organization or business will react to customers or clients.
4. Spend time with your team and support them. Say hi to them first thing in the morning! Know about their families. Ask about their children. I’ll never forget the experience I had years ago, reporting directly to the CEO of a nonprofit. We traveled regularly and spent a lot of time together due to my role. Not one time did he ever ask about my husband or my children. In fact, I don’t think he even knew how many children I had. It was discouraging and disappointing and I lost a lot of respect for him over the years. His behavior demonstrated that I was simply someone there to benefit him…that my life outside of work didn’t matter. I vowed to never treat one of my own staff in the same way.
5. Surround yourself with a support system. I am a strong advocate for executive coaching, especially as a CEO. Leadership can be a very lonely place! You need a safe space to talk openly about the challenges you’re facing as a leader without pushing it onto your team, and an executive coach is one of the best ways to receive that kind of confidential support. I participate in an executive coaching group every month and they have guided me through countless challenging workplace experiences.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

As we especially know from the last two years, life has a way of presenting unexpected challenges, some of which you don’t always think you can tackle. But in most every instance, you CAN accomplish far more than you could ever imagine. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You must do the things you think you cannot do.”

How can our readers further follow your work?

I would love to connect with your readers! I can be found on Instagram at @erinengelke, Facebook at www.facebook.com/beautyinthebusyness or on LinkedIn. Read my blog for more tips on living a fulfilled life at www.beautyinthebuysness.com.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!