Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse: Freddie Floyd Jr On 5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold

Show appreciation: Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s efforts and qualities can reignite the spark in the relationship.

When people first get married, they are usually deeply in love and extremely excited to be together. But sometimes, over time, that passion and excitement begins to fade. This has been particularly true after the pandemic, when many marriages went through great upheavals. What can a couple do to rekindle the love and excitement that they used to have when they were first together? In this interview series, called “Falling In Love Again With Your Spouse; 5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold,” we are talking to relationship professionals, therapists, psychologists, and coaches to share stories and insights from their experience. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Freddie Floyd Jr.

He is the bestselling, award-winning author of empowering works of non-fiction including You Are Designed to Be Successful, God’s Gift Woman, and most recently, The MENtal Fight Of Your Life. Freddie has received numerous international literary awards for his writing including a Book Excellence Award, an International Book Award and a Readers Favorite Award. His ultimate goal is to become a New York Times Bestseller. In his latest book, Freddie lays the groundwork for how to transform one’s relationship towards a place of mutual trust and respect. His time-tested compassion driven approach can help individuals rekindle the love in their marriage in a way that creates lasting positive changes and results.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

My daughter is what started me on this path. There are so many young people struggling with life as my daughter uses the term adulting but it’s a real struggle and although we have had many long talks I dedicate my writing to not only my daughter but to young adults trying to find themselves and I hope to provide encouragement to them

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?

The most interesting story is when I went back to my hometown I was walking into a Wal-Mart with my mom and this lady ran up to me and my mom and was like aren’t you the guy that’s on social media writing books and you should of seen the smile on my mom’s face she was so proud.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

To be honest I don’t have mistakes that were funny lol but I have had my share of mistakes and that mistake is taking your time with your writing its like cooking a cake you have to ensure it on the proper degree to no cook to fast and over cook it

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

The three-character traits most instrumental to my success as a leader in writing books are perseverance, creativity, and empathy. Perseverance has helped me push through challenges and setbacks, creativity has allowed me to bring fresh ideas and perspectives to my writing, and empathy has enabled me to connect with my readers on a deeper level. These traits have helped me stay resilient, innovative, and in tune with the needs of my audience.

There were times I felt like I could do it. I had no idea what to write about. They call it writer’s block, but then you must push away from your project and gather your thoughts. This can often take days, but it comes back with a vengeance.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Yes, I am very excited about my next project, and I believe it will be a blessing to others. I believe now that have some sweat in the game and this allows my latest project to really flow.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority about the topic of marriage?

I have been studying and researching the topic of marriage for many years. I have been married for nine years and have studied and asked lots of questions to married couples, some of whom have been married for 30 years. I have also written several books on the subject, and I am dedicated to helping people build healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Ok. Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘How to Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold’. Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of marriages “going cold”?

A typical cause of marriages “going cold” is a lack of communication and emotional connection. Over time, couples may become distant, leading to a decrease in intimacy and warmth within the relationship. Various factors, including unresolved conflicts, growing apart, or external stressors, could contribute to this problem.

In my experience with helping others in relationship difficulty, I most often hear “lack of communication” as the reason for the difficulty or wanting to end the relationship. I believe that lack of communication is really a symptom of the real root cause, which is “loss of connection.” What must be done to regain that connection?

To regain the connection, it’s important to engage in open and honest communication, actively listen to each other, express empathy, and make an effort to understand each other’s perspective. Building trust and creating a safe space for dialogue is also crucial in reestablishing a strong connection.

Based on your experience, what is the foundation for a successful marriage?

The foundation for a successful marriage is trust, communication, respect, love, and shared values. Both partners must be willing to work through challenges together, support each other’s goals and dreams, and continuously strengthen the bond between them. Effective communication, compromise, and understanding are essential for a healthy and enduring marriage.

It has been said that “a healthy, happy marriage is the union of two generous forgivers”. Can you talk about why forgiveness is so important for a relationship to thrive?

Forgiveness is crucial for a relationship to thrive because holding onto grudges and resentment can poison the connection between two people. When we forgive, we let go of the negative emotions that can build up over time, allowing space for understanding, empathy, and compassion. Forgiveness also helps rebuild trust, leading to deeper intimacy and a stronger bond. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and being able to forgive shows maturity and a willingness to work through challenges together.

Based on your experience, why do you think couples struggle to forgive and be forgiven?

Couples may struggle to forgive and be forgiven for a variety of reasons. One common reason is difficulty letting go of past hurts and resentments. Moving past painful experiences and truly forgiving can be challenging, especially if the hurt runs deep. Also, pride and ego can play a role, making it difficult for either partner to admit fault or vulnerability. Communication issues can also hinder the forgiveness process, as it may be hard for both partners to express their feelings and truly understand each other’s perspectives. Finally, if forgiveness has been repeatedly sought and granted without genuine behavior change, it can be more challenging for the injured party to trust in forgiveness.

Is it important for marriage partners to inspire each other to be the best version of themselves that they can be? Can you please explain what you mean?

Marriage partners must inspire each other to be the best version of themselves. When both partners encourage and support each other’s personal growth and development, it can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling relationship. By inspiring each other to reach their full potential, partners can cultivate a positive and motivating dynamic within their marriage. This can create an environment where both individuals feel empowered to pursue their goals and dreams while also fostering a sense of mutual respect and admiration. Ultimately, when both partners are committed to bringing out the best in each other, it can lead to a more enriching and harmonious marriage.

What is the difference between marriage partners being “a team” and not just “a couple”?

Being “a team” in a marriage implies that both partners work together collaboratively to tackle challenges, make decisions, and support each other’s goals. It emphasizes a sense of unity, cooperation, and mutual respect. On the other hand, being “a couple” may simply refer to two individuals in a romantic relationship without necessarily implying the same level of teamwork and shared responsibility.

Ok, here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Rekindle Love In A Marriage That Has Gone Cold?” Can you please give a story or example for each?

1. Open communication: It’s important to openly express your feelings and concerns with your partner. This can help bridge the gap and rekindle the emotional connection.

2. Quality time: Spend quality time together to rediscover each other’s interests, dreams, and aspirations. This can help revive the bond and create new memories.

3. Show appreciation: Expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s efforts and qualities can reignite the spark in the relationship.

4. Physical affection: Small gestures of physical affection, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands, can help rekindle intimacy and closeness in the marriage.

5. Shared goals: Working towards common goals and supporting each other’s ambitions can reignite the sense of partnership and unity in the relationship.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?

I would highly recommend “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy Keller, “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, and “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. These books provide valuable insights into the dynamics of love and marriage and offer practical advice for building strong, healthy relationships. As for podcasts, “The Marriage Podcast” and “One Extraordinary Marriage Show” are great resources for couples seeking guidance and encouragement in their journey together.

Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would inspire a movement focused on promoting kindness and empathy. Imagine if everyone made an effort to understand and support one another, to be kind and considerate in their words and actions. This movement could bring about positive change by fostering understanding, compassion, and cooperation among people from all walks of life. It has the potential to create a more inclusive and harmonious society, where everyone feels valued and supported.

We are very blessed that very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)

Les Brown is definitely someone I would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with. His motivational speeches and ability to inspire and uplift others have always resonated with me. I believe that having a one-on-one conversation with him would be incredibly valuable and insightful. Plus, his energy and passion for personal development are truly contagious, and I’m sure I would come away from the experience feeling even more motivated and empowered.

Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!