Female Disruptors: Author Shay Levister On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry

Surround yourself with positive energy: Through his books, seminars and courses, Tony Robbins taught me the importance of surrounding myself with positive and supportive individuals who uplift and inspire me. This has been a game changer for me and has allowed me to attract abundance, love and joy into my life.

As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, we had the pleasure of interviewing Shay Levister.

Shay Levister, known as “Shay Your Love Diva™,” is a Certified Love Transformer®, international best-selling author, founder of Shay Better LLC and world-renowned speaker with a thriving coaching practice that helps high-end singles all around the world. Additionally, Shay is a Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) practitioner. Her “Boss Diva University” program is designed exclusively for elite and successful single women who refuse to settle when it comes to attracting the love of their lives.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

I grew up in an abusive household where I watched my father abuse my mother on a daily basis — sometimes beating her with a belt when she got out of line. This and other acts of violence against women was an unfortunate cultural tradition that led to me having a flawed understanding of love. I believe that I had to earn love and that love equalled pain. This led to a pattern of me attracting one dysfunctional relationship after another.

But I refused to settle for less. When I found myself homeless on food stamps with a 5-week-old daughter, I decided to break the generational pattern of abusive and toxic relationships that ran deep for generations in my family. I promised her that mommy would show her what healthy love looked like and that I would get her a big house with a nice backyard.

I pursued my passion of science and graduated pre-med biology. I knew that if I could figure out the formula based on science for attracting any man I desired, I would attract my soulmate. I embarked on a journey to uncover the science behind love and attraction, conducting my own experiments, going on over 100 dates, and interviewing over 4000 men, women and couples. What I learned became the foundation for my scientifically based formula for attracting a soulmate and elevating your life to new heights.

“Empowering Women through Love” — This is more than just a career, it is my calling and my mission to empower women to embrace their own worth and never settle for less in life and love.

Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?

I challenge the conventional wisdom surrounding dating and love for women, breaking free from the popular but ineffective dating advice often perpetuated by men, the media, and society. My approach, rooted in science, research, and personal experience, defies the norms and may be considered unconventional by some. However, I have seen the tangible benefits and success it brings to my clients and I am proud to continue disrupting the status quo in pursuit of true and lasting love for all women who desire it.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

The funniest, not funny ha-ha, mistake that I made when starting out is that I used to give my services away for free or at a very low price. I thought that if I lowered my prices, then I would be competitive and everybody would want to use my services because they were affordable.

I found that not only did potential clients not take me seriously, but they were less likely to get the results that they desired. I learned that people who pay, pay attention. I learned that when people have skin in the game and invest in themselves, then they are more likely to stick to the process that provides the results they’re looking for.

The funniest part about this learning lesson, is that I received a wake-up call when I pitched my services to a very popular public figure. She was very impressed with my qualifications and experience but told me, to my face that I was extremely talented and knowledgeable but, she would not hire me because my prices were too low. She stated that people like her expect to invest in quality products and services. She said that when the prices were low, it was a reflection on the quality of the product that was being presented.

I laughed hysterically at the irony of what I just discovered, and then raised my prices. What I found was that my clients were more likely to show up for themselves when they invested in themselves, and that led to an increase in the number of clients who did the work to heal their Love Blocks and attract the love they desired.

We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?

I’ve had multiple people who have impacted my life in a major way, however as far as having a mentor, I unfortunately do not have one at this time. I am looking forward to one day being able to say differently. I’ve simply had the mindset that I have to pay my dues and eventually the right mentor will show up and help guide me to the finish line and beyond.

In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?

When a disruption causes pain, harm, or damage to another’s self-esteem, it’s never a good disruption. There was a relationship influencer who used to put women down by making them rate themselves. He would tell women that they were less desirable if they were over a certain age, weight size or single parent status. His content was disruptive and created a lot of conversation and controversy, but his content also hurt a lot of women and allowed insecure men, unwilling to do the work to heal and become better men, to take their pain, anger and insecurities out on women by verbally assaulting those who were already feeling unworthy of love. He was the mouthpiece of pain for the men who felt they were victims to women and who wanted women to feel the same hurt they carried inside.

On the other side of this, I see positive disruption with Lori Harvey and how she is choosing to date. She is breaking away from the indoctrination that women have to play nice and date according to the opinions and preferences of men. She dates multiple men when she is not in a committed relationship and she is willing to walk away when the relationship no longer serves her, even when the public doesn’t understand or agree with her decision. She is very much in her feminine energy and unapologetically dates in her power.

Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.

I have been blessed with incredible wisdom and guidance along my journey. Three pieces of advice that have stuck with me and transformed my life are:

Believe in yourself: One of my desired mentors, Oprah Winfrey, once shared that one never gives up on their dreams, no matter how big or small they may seem. She reminded me that the only person who can stop me from achieving my goals is myself. From that moment on, I took control of my own life and stopped letting fear and self-doubt hold me back.

Surround yourself with positive energy: Through his books, seminars and courses, Tony Robbins taught me the importance of surrounding myself with positive and supportive individuals who uplift and inspire me. This has been a game changer for me and has allowed me to attract abundance, love and joy into my life.

Trust the journey: Dr. Joe Dispenza taught me to trust the journey and to not be attached to the outcome. This has allowed me to approach challenges and obstacles with a sense of peace and calm, knowing that everything happens for a reason and that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Each of these pieces of advice has helped me to tap into my inner strength, attract positive energy, and trust the journey, no matter where it may lead me.

We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?

Continuing to do the work I was called to do is exactly what I’m aiming for. I want to give people the opportunity to understand that Love is a Science™, and that by learning it and recognizing the amazing power of their feminine energy, that they can take control of their lives and the love that they deserve. To spread the message further, I’ll continue running my online Diva and Boss Diva Universities and engaging in interviews like this one, that shed light on empowering women — by introducing “Love is a Science” as a movement. Together, these activities will ensure that the world knows that women are the true prize and are worthy of the love they desire. To do that, I plan to create more powerful, in-person experiences like the upcoming Love Mastery Retreat where women immerse themselves in an environment of healing lifelong traumas and love blocks so that they are free to experience the life and love they desire.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

I’m proud to call myself a disruptor in both the business and love space, despite the challenges I’ve faced as a female in the business world.

My journey to success hasn’t been easy. As a female in a male-dominated business industry, I have often encountered many obstacles that my male counterparts have never even had to consider. Vendors often charge me more and deliver less due to gender biases, and when I lead in my own feminine energy, I’m often not taken seriously. I’ve even had to ask a man to negotiate a deal on my behalf just to get a seat at the table. Moreover, I’m frequently asked questions about my qualifications even though I have more than enough certification and evidence of my expertise.

Despite that, I have still managed to grow my company from a mere one million dollars in gross sales during Covid to an impressive 2.6 million dollars in just one year. This year, I’m on track to gross over a staggering 10 million dollars.

My journey has been hard, but my success has been worth it. I will continue to fight against the gender biases in the business world and show the world that anything is possible when you put your mind to it.

Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?

As a Love and Relationship Coach, I’ve been impacted by many works, but one that truly stands out to me is the book “The Law of Attraction” by Esther Hicks. This book was a game changer for me in understanding the power of my thoughts and beliefs in attracting the things I want in my life, including love.

I remember reading this book when I was at a low point in my love life, constantly attracting toxic and dysfunctional relationships. But as I delved into the teachings of Esther Hicks, I learned that my thoughts and beliefs were the key to attracting a healthy and loving relationship. I started to focus on shifting my thoughts and beliefs to align with what I truly wanted in love and life.

The transformation was amazing, as I started to attract positive, supportive people into my life and eventually found my soulmate. The teachings in “The Law of Attraction” have not only transformed my love life, but also my entire life, helping me manifest my dreams and desires.

I now incorporate these teachings in my coaching and help my clients attract the love and life they desire through the power of their thoughts and beliefs. I am forever grateful for the impact that Esther Hicks and her book have had on my life.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

As a female disruptor and influencer I believe that I have already started a movement. I call it the No Ma’am movement!

The No Ma’am Movement is a powerful call-to-action for women everywhere to stand up for themselves and not settle in life or love. The Movement is based on the premise that women should have high standards, recognizing that they are the prize and not the pursuer.

The Battle Cry of the Movement is “No Ma’am, We Will Not Settle!” Women are encouraged to be confident and to show up as their authentic selves, knowing that they will be safe in any relationship they choose as long as they are healed and have the Diva Love Formula. Women must also be willing to invest in themselves and their dreams, refusing to accept less than what they deserve in any area of their life. The No Ma’am Movement is all about empowerment and self-love, inspiring women everywhere to take control of their lives and choose themselves first. With this mindset, the love and life they desire will rise up to meet them.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“The wisdom of Maya Angelou lives on through her famous quote, ‘When people show you who they are, believe them!’ Despite our natural inclination to see the good in others and believe the best of those we care about, it’s essential to heed the signs and pay attention to their actions. In the past, overlooking the warning signs has resulted in disappointment and pain, leading to situations where people were only drawn to me for the benefits of my presence, draining my energy and preventing me from pursuing my passion of helping women heal.

But today, I’ve learned to trust my instincts and let go of those who do not align with me and whose intentions are not in my best interest. Each time I make this difficult but necessary choice, I open the door for new and greater blessings to enter my life.

How can our readers follow you online?

I am on Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook at @ShayYourLoveDiva

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!