Gi Gi O’Brien: Emotional Intelligence; What It Is, Why It Is So Essential, And How We Can Increase It

An Interview With Ben Ari

Authority Magazine Editorial Staff
Authority Magazine
Published in
21 min readDec 5, 2022

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Life teaches you to find your own voice, your own dream, your own work ethic and to live up to those things in the face of being misunderstood. It’s about doing it for your Self because you find it important. I think a lot of my teens however was me trying to prove my worth as I see-sawed between wild free spirit and closet nerd.Most of the time I felt invisible but my grades were outstanding and so was my sense of adventure. I was the depiction of “if work hard play hard” was a person.

As a part of our series about “Emotional Intelligence, I had the pleasure of interviewing Gi Gi O’Brien.

As a #1 best-selling author, Female Disruptors speaker and Chief Manifesting Officer at gii (Global Intelligence Initiative), Gi Gi O’Brien’s mission is to innovate the intelligence quotient so people can manifest happier, healthier, high-performing lives that actually keep them fulfilled. As the world focuses on artificial intelligence, her proprietary frameworks in gii Academy simplify the complexities of human intelligence (neuropsychology, neurobiology, and cosmology) so the everyday person can master their mind, body and universe to create the life they desire. Her recent book ‘The Intelligence of Happiness’ has been endorsed by the likes of Sienna Miller, Ndaba Mandela and previous president of Lionsgate Motion Picture Group, Mike Paseornek, among many others.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

If I am being honest, a lot of us are still living a part of our childhood story. We are breaking through the patterns and limitations of the belief systems that shaped us. We are rising into the playful nature of what it means to be our true selves. I wish there was a romantic backstory to my childhood, but it’s more of a plot twist.

I was born and raised in the island of Barbados, my father a Barbadian and mother a German. On paper, it was a dream. I had a constant sense of gratitude and perspective for how fortunate I was. First of all, a tropical paradise was my home. We joked to visitors, “I live where you vacation” and popularized the hashtag #lifesbetterinabikini. Hey, I was young, and man was I loud in my yearning to be heard and seen.

My family did well, they were entrepreneurs and worked in hospitality running a small restaurant and boutique hotel that my grandfather built. Entrepreneurship from a young age was pulsing in my bloodline. Success by association can be difficult when people think you do not work for anything and I struggled with that a lot in my upbringing. I would muck horse stalls, do farm labor, give kids laps on ponies, clean houses and earn my pocket change. A lot of people only see the glitz and glory after the fact, few see what you do to get there and that was a lesson I learned early on.

Life teaches you to find your own voice, your own dream, your own work ethic and to live up to those things in the face of being misunderstood. It’s about doing it for your Self because you find it important. I think a lot of my teens however was me trying to prove my worth as I see-sawed between wild free spirit and closet nerd.Most of the time I felt invisible but my grades were outstanding and so was my sense of adventure. I was the depiction of “if work hard play hard” was a person.

I wanted all of the world, and I believed I could get it.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

My pain inspired me, my inner child and a few people whom hold permanent real estate in my heart. My grandfather in particular. Writing his eulogy was the moment when I knew it was time to step out of the corporate world into solopreneurship.

I had just been won the 2015 Australian Pacesetter Award for American Express Centurion. I was working as a Lifestyle Consultant and got to the #1 position in the continent within my first full year with the company. I channeled my inner trailblazer and I felt extra confident, but something weird happened. My inner voice nudged me and said, “There’s got to be more to life than this right?”

I guess like I said, from my childhood I wanted a BIG beautiful, have-it-all, kind of life. So, for me that desire was always knocking around in the shadows making me feel less-than. Eventually success alone was not enough. Something was missing. I wasn’t happy.

That pain ignored long enough, manifested into physical illness and tumors, self-sabotage and numbing until it peaked into the very unwelcomed and torturing suicidal mindset.

I had to figure it out, once and for all, what happiness truly was and even more so, who I was. And so the journey to best-selling author and founder of gii commenced.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

My grandfather gave me the courage to get into the game and to appreciate all the small moments. He was the only black man in his electrical engineering class in BICC London where he did underground heavy duty cable jointing. He built the micro empire we have today, despite starting at eight cents an hour. He shows me how to make something from almost nothing.

Mike Paseornek, the previous president of Lionsgate Motion Picture Group, bestowed in me invaluable lessons on how to play the game as my self, to discover my secret sauce as he calls it. His guidance has been unparalleled in its wisdom, relevance and transformative essence. He knows how to help you see your best attributes amidst a very saturated life. He has moved me into a better version of my Self on many levels.

He once said:

“Inspiration can be ignited by action and motion. It sometimes doesn’t take much. I used to have this theory about film. It’s like a glass of water — if you put a drop of blue in it, the whole glass turns blue. It could be a performance, a scene that clarifies a whole story, the music — that one thing changes the whole experience. Life is like that too. One event in the course of a lifetime can change an entire life. One moment in the course of a day can change a day. They can be almost anything — the smallest thing that gives you a momentary smile, a rush of realization, a sense of well being or an idea. It’s all about that one drop of blue — or whatever color you like.”

Problems shared are problems halved they say. Friendships helped me survive hard days when S*^t hits the fan. Life is always in session, and you just have to buckle up because surprise, there is almost always another rollercoaster to ride. Without friendship I would not have been able to process the many layers of trauma I’ve faced and even some of the generic life hurdles. Friendship brings laughter and love to my life; it gives me the delight of sharing my wins. The pendulum swings both ways and good friends are around for the downs and the ups alike.

While my family has given me bloodline, and friends rhythm through the ups and downs, my partner Daniel has been the heartbeat. They say the only constant is change, and the other constant is Dan’s unconditional love. He is so much more than meets the eye if you are curious enough to go deeper. The way in which he gives undivided attention to anyone lucky enough to catch his gaze, is a rarity in such a distracted world. He is full of surprises in his worldly experience, both entrepreneurially and as a retired polo professional. He’s no stranger to reinventing the path forward and I could not have a better advocate, partner in prosperity and all around morally enlightening human in my life by my side.

Last and most certainly not least, my father, John. He was there for all the days in between, just there, arms wide open. The days where my ideas came to life, he entertained my crazy. The days where I had to take the leap, he told me jump. He watered my soul so I could blossom into the woman I am. He rides with me each wave that intimidatingly forms as ideation builds into realization. Sometimes you have to swim outside of your comfort zone to catch the wave that will change your life. I manifest time and again things that at first look, felt nearly impossible. Papa John was there, holding that frequency of faith, knowing that I could do it if I put my mind to it.

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?

In March 2022 I went to 10X Growth Con in Miami and I had set a few intentions to manifest which all came through pretty much before the first speaker even hit the stage. I manifested all of them, and then realized that I had failed to define clearly what I wanted those manifestations to result in. Suddenly I was standing next to Grant Cardone, and I hadn’t really had much to say that felt valuable to him. Deep down I knew my value to him was immeasurable. Yet, I really hadn’t polished that to hit him in the parts of his soul where he would actually feel intrigued. So, I said nothing.

I dropped the ball to create value. I manifested proximity and let prosperity slip. I had done all the energetic work, invested the time and energy (and money) and then, oooops. I just was there, next to Billionaires having a great old meaningless time.

The biggest lesson I learned was that your manifestations always have to sustain momentum, you have to know that if X gets you Y that you better be ready for Y to bridge to Z. There is always the next step. The only time we arrive at the final step, is our death.

I love to connect to the mini-moments as I dare myself to bold in my destiny. Im a fan of growing, flowing, showing up in service but it means nothing if you cannot leverage your outcomes into the next brilliant evolution of your story. We all deserve that happy life while curating a legacy. Life is always in session, make it count.

The road to success is hard and requires tremendous dedication. This question is obviously a big one, but what advice would you give to a young person who aspires to follow in your footsteps and emulate your success?

This is a very loaded question and what will be most confusing is the simplicity of my answer. Sit with it, feel confused by it, and then call in your revelation. That revelation will never leave your side once you unveil it. My advice is this:

Dig deep in your Self to discover your Truth, let it guide you into purpose and limitless prosperity and spend your days with but one clear goal: to maintain alignment with that truth in how you feel, think and act.

Is there a particular book, film, or podcast that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Excuse me while I check my ego to make sure this isn’t me trying to indulge in self-promotion.

No, I think we are good.

Truthfully, my book “The Intelligence of Happiness” has had the most significant impact on me. It taught me how to master who I am, so I can master anything in this life. When I figured me out, everything in life fell into its magic; health, love, soul aligned relationships, wealth, abundance, miracles and so much more. Yes MORE. Because the real beginning of life, is when you invest in figuring out how to make your true self happy. Without knowing who you are, then whose life are you living?

When I took a long hard look at who I was, I could also see clearly what had been stopping me, was actually me. When I worked on those things within my mind mostly, and removed them, I started to feel unstoppable. I was not just relieved but really damn happy. That is the best feeling in the world.

Writing my book helped me figured that out, almost as much as re-reading my book helps me to align with my own divine truth and unstoppable energy. Other favorites would be The Power of Now, Becoming Supernatural, Who Moved My Cheese, Essentialism and The Complete Notes From The Universe.

Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?

“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” — Nelson Mandela

This quote resonates with me so much because of my innate knowing of our true ability. It’s a reminder of our capacity for greatness and that the journey of living in our potential will be filled with passion. That’s POWERFUL.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

Right now, I am expanding my company gii which stands for Global Intelligence Initiative. The company started with gii Publishing as the imprint for my books and then I introduced a limited-edition series of gii Magazine. The issues are digital and include audio visual integrations featuring progressive thought leaders in neuroscience, the evolution of water, web 3 privacy, and anything from founders of music festivals to leading swim wear designers in Sports Illustrated Swim, Forbes business coaches and celebrity happiness coaches.

The expansion includes a recently launched product suite in gii Academy which has a variety of multimedia programs for quick, easy and impactful e-learning experiences. The platform itself is sexy but not revolutionary, my aim is to launch it as an app in the future. What I would say I am most impressed by is the ability to learn and then see results in a fraction of the time one might expect.

The 3-day Billionaire’s Bootcamp to Manifestation and Happiness which is already available on demand. The 4-week Billionaire’s Mastermind kicks off in January 2023. This is for anyone who is looking to unlock their super intelligence and get the MOST out of life. It’s a deep dive into hacking the laws of the universe, meeting in the cross roads of the powerful cosmic field and our human intelligence, specifically neuropsychology. Imagine being a few lessons away from hacking your mind-brain interface so you can perform at peak levels while actually enjoying it. It’s an edge that I think we all have available to us, yet few truly know how to navigate their own operating system.

When you learn how to master your Self through energy, frequency and vibration you become powerful in ways that are fascinating. To me empowering people with this level of self-control over their destiny and dreams is the most cherished part of my work especially as it relates to mental health, finding love and feeling fulfilled in one’s career.

I remember what it felt like, to claim that control. There is nothing quite like it. Well maybe six orgasms on a Sunday would come close.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. Can you briefly tell our readers a bit about why you are an authority about Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is one of the core three pillars in my book. I spent the better part of five years investigating our emotional brain, the frequency of emotion and how we can actually improve EQ for both career prosperity and personal well-being. And, even better, how we develop this awareness and control in the simplest way possible. You can start to feel differently within minutes when you know how to shift your emotional frequency. A lot of what you can do to master your outcomes starts with emotions, and EQ techniques can be done anywhere, anytime without needing anything else.

For the benefit of our readers, can you help to define what Emotional Intelligence is?

Emotional Intelligence is one’s ability to be aware of, identify, understand and control the subconscious messages that come into our conscious mind as emotions, and selectively form them into constructive perceptions and intentional behaviors for your Self, your relationships, community and environment.

How is Emotional Intelligence different from what we normally refer to as intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence does differ to regular intelligence while they do both overlap. For me EQ has a lot to do with the reptilian and limbic parts of the brain which focus on emotional processing and the transmutation of energetic impulses as it relates to pain avoidance and survival. Normal intelligence focuses on the intellectual brain which looks at one’s neocortex and analytical faculties, logic and the ability to self-actualize and reach your greatest potential. The intellectual thinking brain and IQ engages the Cognitive self ( i.e. mindset, thinking and beliefs ) and seeks satisfaction whereas the reptilian emotional brain focuses on the Affective self ( i.e. emotions and feelings ) and seeks safety.

Can you help explain a few reasons why Emotional Intelligence is such an important characteristic? Can you share a story or give some examples?

As a human species we are primarily focused on survival, but if we cannot move past our emotional survival brain we cannot truly capitalize on our full intellectual potential. We also never get to pure happiness if we are in resistance, fear, or other low frequency emotions like guilt, regret or shame. Often, people turn to synthetic pleasure instead of authentic happiness in an effort to numb their emotions.

Fear can restrict us from flourishing as we experience fight, flight or even freeze which is a very common stress response. This compromises our ability to even take action at times. If we are unaware of the ways in which our level of EQ inhibits or liberate us, we could actually be focused on comfort instead of courage and that often leads to underachievement and lack of optimal fulfillment in life. Similarly, if we experience destructive emotions of shame, we lose the self-worth necessary to step into our highest value. We risk then compromising our ability to prosper as we undervalue our sense of worth. This could look like lower compensation or entering into relationships where we are taken for granted or not treated well.

Would you feel comfortable sharing a story or anecdote about how Emotional Intelligence has helped you in your life? We would love to hear about it.

Emotional intelligence has served me in my life metamorphosis because emotions are the root of authenticity, and from a maintenance perspective knowing my emotions helps me step into my daily routines knowing what I need to overcome to thrive. It’s a daily undertaking because put simply, we have emotion from second to second.

My life pivoted when I discovered that I was not actually depressed, I had low self-esteem and I had a problem with shame and self-wroth. Without identifying the emotional root of my suffering, I would never have been able to cure it. The crazy thing is that so many people skip this step and might be offered anti-depressants when they are not actually depressed. Its why SSRI medication is said to be ineffective in up to 50% of its patients.

I think when we develop a healthy EQ, we can easily name our emotions and create a constructive response mechanism to them. It’s not so much about never feeling bad. It’s about knowing what you are feeling so you know how to shift them in ways that serve your success and joy.

For instance, if you are feeling angry. Then you try to address anger, but if that anger is really an expression of another emotion that it is rooted in guilt, then you will continually express moments of irritability, anger and perhaps even violence. If you realize that anger is rooted in guilt then you can address the emotion of guilt and counteract it with its opposite, pride. If you are guilty, you could be focused on a behavior of wrong-doing. Now that you know you feel bad about having done something wrong, you can essentially focus on what you can do to make it right. What can you do that you will feel proud of instead.

The same works for failure, regret, self-doubt and any emotion really.

Can you share some specific examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help a person become more successful in the business world?

From both a self-leadership and business leadership perspective, understanding the EQ of your Self and your counterparts helps you to identify where your bottlenecks of success might be. If you are able to identify which emotions are dominant in your life or workforce, you can curate approaches to reinforce more empowering and constructive emotions that lead to a healthier and higher performing workplace.

If you do not understand EQ you are missing out on optimizing productivity as most people in emotional distress are likely costing you money. There are billions of dollars lost to mental health issues that are rooted in poor emotional well-being. Emotions are an important starting point to address not just productivity but creativity, innovation, proactive performance, and synchronicity with company culture, vision and personal ambitions and purpose.

Can you share a few examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help people have better relationships?

Everything is relationships. You have a relationship with your Self, hello self-talk. You have relationships with your family, your lovers, your partners, your business associates, your stakeholders, your community. It’s all relationships.

Now, if you cannot identify what is happening in those relationships then you are missing an opportunity to thrive in them.

Imagine someone having an irrational reaction to you cancelling an appointment. If you had a low EQ you might not be able to identify the root of their frustration. You might actually be reactive yourself instead of responsive. You might think they are moody and negative.

You perhaps do not have the capacity to empathize with their reason for being frustrated and that could create unspoken tension between you. When we seek to understand the emotions of others, it brings us into greater states of trust, loyalty and beneficial modes of communication that help enhance the relationships mutually.

Another example is lack of interest, which can be misattributed as laziness, when it could actually be early signs of depression. If you treat someone as if they are lazy because you are upset that their work is not getting done, you could actually totally miss the chance of addressing the issue under the surface. Only when you really identify the cause of a problem, you know how to fix it.

It’s always a great idea to be explorative in understanding other’s emotions. That develops a level of respect that creates a powerful gateway to accountability. I have found that people who know you care, are less inclined to let you down.

Can you share a few examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help people have more optimal mental health?

The thing about emotional intelligence is once you have developed it, you cherish it. You overcome obstacles so much quicker, because you understand clearly what the setback is. If you have fear you know you need to focus on the first act of courage and a willingness to experience some discomfort. Taking action in the face of fear feels powerful, you develop a sense of pride and you actually have a deeper sense of accomplishment as you see yourself in a more powerful way. You start to develop higher Self efficacy the more experiences you have under your belt facing certain emotions and taking the right actions.

If you have developed regret you may feel like you have missed out on opportunities, you may feel you should have done things differently, and that can create a cycle of living in the past. With emotional intelligence you get to navigate your focus, as you understand that because you feel regret, you need to actually move past it by a dedication to uncover new opportunities, to show that there are still many things ahead of you that are still possible. That develops healthy optimism and reinstates a positive attitude toward what tasks at hand.

The thing with the current climate of the world is that there is a lot of uncertainty and a lot of distress. We feel burden in unprecedented ways and that starts within us as emotions. We fear the unknown, we worry about the future, we feel like our economy is unstable. So now more than ever we need to develop the wherewithal to check ourself emotionally, and from that place, build cognitive structures and emotional resilience that can withstand any circumstance. That is our power.

Ok. Wonderful. Here is the main question of our interview. Can you recommend five things that anyone can do to develop a greater degree of Emotional Intelligence? Please share a story or example for each.

Journaling will help you purge your feelings in a way that feels safe. You can then uncover themes and patterns around your emotions and from that clarity start to work on them consciously. The worst thing is feeling confused or overwhelmed and journaling gives you a much more insightful picture to your feelings, its self-therapeutic in a way and will improve your EQ.

Meditation will help calm the mind so that you can hear your intuition which often knows what’s happening in your and other’s emotional intelligence. You might become more intuitive to your own feelings and the feelings of others after meditation. It also facilitates the release of heavy emotions as we slow down enough to catch our breath and let the nervous system find some balance, we release tension internally. Meditation is highly beneficial for the brain and stimulates healthy neurotransmitters that leave us feeling lighter and happier. It is said to impact up to seven of the main brain chemicals including both dopamine the reward molecule and serotonin, the happiness molecule.

EFT Tapping is a very effective technique that you can use to tap certain parts of your body while using phrases like “Even though I (insert phrase about how you are feeling), I unconditionally love and accept myself.” You tap certain meridian energy centers on the body while repeating this and it shifts the emotional energy to a more positive state. This requires you to develop the self-awareness to address specific emotions as you create your ‘feeling statement’, which is really helpful in raising your EQ.

Mindfulness allows you to observe how you are feeling, it would be helpful to get in the practice of naming your emotions and deconstructing them. It might be a great play on the saying “mind your business.” Get mindful, seek to be present, actively feel your experiences and try to understand where those feelings come from.

Listening would be one of the most underestimated recommendations I have for people to develop higher EQ. Often we completely miss the indicators that people give us because we are preparing our response or are completely somewhere else in our mind. Listening to others with an intention to understand what emotions they might be feeling, and to actively communicate in ways that seek to empathize and be compassionate with them, can be a really rewarding EQ exercise. Even listening to own own choice of language can give us intel on where we are at emotionally.

Do you think our educational system can do a better job at cultivating Emotional Intelligence? What specific recommendations would you make for schools to help students cultivate Emotional Intelligence?

Emotions are the art that colors our lives. Like the color palette has primary and secondary colors, we can create different layers to our emotions and help students with the distinction between ordinary surface emotions like; happy, sad, anger, fear, love, hate and the root emotions of shame, guilt, regret, despair and depression.

Understanding emotions and how they show up as our self-esteem, our self-knowledge and self-efficacy is a truly powerful place to begin address the ongoing mental health crisis. The educational system has an opportunity to prevent the emotional crisis that perpetuates and worsens as we see more and more mental illness and even suicide. I wholeheartedly believe that we can have children’s books around emotions, we can gamify them in technology to make it fun to understand and express them constructive and we certainly can create more leaders that are emotional intelligent to help thrive beyond anxiety, burnout and other major physical issues that suppressed emotions manifest as. I am truly excited about the future and to see the development of curriculums that facilitate and prioritize emotional intelligence.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

Innovating our understanding and experience of intelligence to include a trifecta of IQ, EQ and HQ as it relates to neuropsychology, biology and cosmology. If we can simplify the expansion of human intelligence into daily routines that are affordable, accessible and powerfully impactful, humanity would be a very different place. My hope is that reality will come to fruition in my lifetime.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

Grant Cardone, drop the ball once, but I wont drop it twice. ;)

How can our readers further follow your work online?

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN9TBW95NgHTHIucqWb6tkA

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gigiobrien/

Website: https://gii.academy/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gigiobrien

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gigiobrienofficial/

FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/billionairemanifesting

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.

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Authority Magazine
Authority Magazine

Published in Authority Magazine

In-depth Interviews with Authorities in Business, Pop Culture, Wellness, Social Impact, and Tech. We use interviews to draw out stories that are both empowering and actionable.

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