Happiness and Joy During Turbulent Times: Myrto Mangrioti On How To Live With Joie De Vivre, Even When It Feels Like The Whole World Is Pulling You Down

An Interview With Lucinda Koza

Accept What Is; Then Choose How You Show Up. Acceptance isn’t giving in; it’s choosing peace first. When I made acceptance a daily practice, my entire experience shifted. I stopped resisting what I couldn’t control — my imperfections, other people’s behavior, the unpredictability of life — and started responding from a place of calm. Acceptance isn’t passivity; it’s strength. When you stop fighting life, you create space for joy to return with ease.

As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Myrto Mangrioti.

Myrto Mangrioti is a certified Teacher of Presence, Deep Transformational Coach, Canfield Success Principles & Methodology Trainer, RIM Essentials Facilitator, and author. After decades of struggling with people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-doubt, she transformed her life and founded Loving Living to help others find joy, purpose, and inner peace. Through her coaching, writing, and speaking, she empowers individuals to embrace their true selves and live fully in the present moment.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I was born in a beautiful country that’s surely on the bucket list of many of your readers: Greece! Two significant events shaped my early years — my parents’ divorce when I was five and being bullied in kindergarten. I start with these because I believe our early experiences deeply shape us, even when we don’t realise it at the time. They create patterns that follow us into adulthood until something finally forces us to look at them.

My parents’ divorce shaped me in ways I didn’t fully understand until much later. Even as a child, I could sense my mother’s pain, and I instinctively stepped into the role of protector, trying to be the steady presence in our home. My mission became clear: make her happy. So, I became the “good girl.” I smiled, followed all the rules, and pushed myself to excel — hoping my agreeableness and compliance would ease her sadness.

At the same time, I was grappling with a different kind of pain; one that followed me to school. A boy began bullying me, and while I now understand it may have been a clumsy expression of affection, at the time it was deeply frightening. The experience left me so shaken that I stayed home for an entire month. When I finally gathered the courage to return, it was only because my mother and teacher stood beside me — quiet anchors of strength when I needed it most.

That moment left an imprint and led me to make a silent vow: no one (especially no man) would ever have the power to hurt me like that again. Behind the scenes, another quiet battle was unfolding, one rooted in insecurity. I craved acceptance and believed that if I could just be perfect, I would finally be loved. So, I chased perfection relentlessly. I became a people pleaser, moulding myself into whatever version others needed or expected — losing pieces of myself along the way.

I was an A-student and the perfect daughter. President of my class, the favourite student, always helping my classmates — I aced through school. As I grew older, I threw myself into everything; computer programming, astrology, graphic design, teaching, solving Rubik’s cubes. I wasn’t just into nerdy stuff; I skied, played tennis, waterskied, scuba-dived, and was even a rally co-driver. And everyone loved my cooking! I constantly added and stacked a variety of skills, experiences, and layers to my identity — anything that made me look impressive. And sometimes, it felt good, but more often than not, it was exhausting!

My friends used to call me a chameleon. At the time, I thought it was a compliment. I thought it meant I was interesting and adaptable. But in reality, I was always playing a role, always shape-shifting to gain approval. I was transforming constantly, but only on the outside. Inside, I was becoming more disconnected from myself.

My choices throughout most of my life weren’t based on what I truly wanted. They were based on what I thought would make me look good or be liked. I changed jobs, struggled in relationships, kept trying new things in search of fulfillment, but joy kept slipping further away. I felt more and more lonely. My self-esteem quietly eroded.

For decades, that was my reality: high-functioning on the outside but quietly unraveling on the inside. I was always “on,” always performing, constantly chasing some unspoken standard. Eventually, the signs became impossible to ignore. Everything around me — and within me — was shouting: Change.

And when I finally listened, I uncovered something profound: I’m not meant to wait for something to make me happy. Joy isn’t a destination — it’s in the ride. All I have to do is say yes to the moment and dive in wholeheartedly.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

It wasn’t one person or moment that inspired my career — it was a breaking point.

By my forty-ninth birthday, I looked around and realized I was living a life that felt completely out of alignment. I was in a job I didn’t enjoy, working relentless hours, chronically stressed, and emotionally depleted. I had just come out of a failed relationship, I was struggling with my weight for the first time in my life, battling skin issues, and sinking into depression. Then came the panic attacks — a clear signal that my body and mind could no longer sustain the path I was on.

That was my wake-up call.

I turned to therapy, personal development books, and courses. Slowly, step by step, I began to rebuild. The more I healed and grew, the clearer it became: I had uncovered a toolkit that actually worked. And I couldn’t keep it to myself. I wanted to share it, to help others out of the darkness I had once called home.

My purpose found me in the process. After five certifications and years of inner work, I stepped into my calling — to guide others out of dissatisfaction and into a life they truly love. I wouldn’t change a thing. Every moment led me here.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

There is no doubt in my mind that this person is my mother. I am fortunate to have had her in my life — and still do! She has always been my cheerleader and my biggest fan. She believed in me even when I didn’t! She has always been there for me, supporting me in whatever decisions I made in my life, even when she didn’t approve. I have a funny story to share about that.

In my early years, I launched a business supplying fresh fish to restaurants and traditional Greek tavernas. I purchased a modest white minivan and personally handled every aspect of the operation — from sourcing to delivery. It was physically demanding and time-sensitive work; the value of the fish diminished with every passing hour. Some days began at 4 a.m., just to ensure I could load stock onto a commercial boat en route to an island-based client. Mornings were spent coordinating orders and suppliers, while afternoons were reserved for deliveries across town.

The pace left little room for much else, including time with my mother. Longing to see her, I invited her to accompany me on one of my delivery rounds. I suggested that, since our schedules never aligned, this might be a way for us to spend time together and share conversations on the road.

She reluctantly agreed and was visibly unsettled by the rough, tucked-away markets I frequented. I found it quietly amusing, knowing how foreign this world was to her. And yet, she came. She sat beside me without criticism, offering her presence as quiet support. That day reminded me that love often reveals itself not through grand gestures — but in the willingness to simply show up.

My mom’s unwavering love and support gave me the strength to navigate difficult times, learn from the various — and sometimes unconventional — choice I made, and ultimately lead me to where I am today. So, thanks, mum!

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?

The biggest mistake I made earlier on in my career was not asking for help when I clearly needed it. You see, for so many years, I had conditioned myself to believe and act like I needed no one in my life, which meant I never asked for help. I thought it would make me look weak. I was too scared of being rejected. As a result, everything I did took longer and was often exhausting. It is a very lonely road when one walks alone.

Fortunately, I came to a powerful realisation: asking for help doesn’t signal weakness, it reflects wisdom. I didn’t need to reinvent the wheel when there were experienced individuals willing — and often eager — to share their knowledge. I began to understand that, just like me, people want to feel useful and valued. Offering their insights is often their way of giving back, and all I had to do was be open enough to receive it. What I also learned is that rejection isn’t the end of the world. The only problem is the interpretation we attach to the “no” in our minds. The reality is that even if you receive a “no”, you are not worse off than you were before asking, and you can always ask the next person until you receive a “yes”.

I know now, and my advice to everyone, is this: always ask for help when needed. Ask for what you want. Stop wasting time trying to figure things out on your own or second-guessing others. Time is precious; why waste your energy on things that can be solved with someone else’s expertise? Instead, channel your energy into creating a more joyful everyday life for yourself and those you love.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

I am currently expanding my Loving Living platform by creating resources to help people cultivate joy and self-acceptance. I am passionate about my One-On-One coaching practice, where I enjoy using the Deep Coaching method. I prefer to conduct my sessions online with cameras off and eyes closed. This approach is more meditative, and I have found that it helps my clients dive deeper and more quickly into their true needs and desires, achieving faster results. That being said, I strive to meet my clients where they are and provide them with what they need from the broad selection of tools I have, ensuring they receive the best possible support. I always offer a complimentary discovery session for anyone to gain first-hand experience and determine if it is suitable for them.

My latest book, Am I Enough?, is a profound exploration of self-worth and personal transformation, offering practical tools for those seeking greater fulfillment in their lives. It is addressed to anyone searching for a spiritual answer to their problems and to anyone who wonders if there is more to life than what they are currently experiencing. I want this book to serve as a companion to their spiritual journey and self-discovery by debunking myths surrounding awakening through sharing my imperfect journey and struggles. It is a go-to book for when you feel as though you’re failing and a reminder that you are enough.

My mission is to help as many people as possible break free from their inner critic and embrace their true selves, awaken to their true essence and find joy in the present moment.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. Authenticity — For a long time, I hid behind the roles I thought I was supposed to play. But once I began showing up as my true self — flawed, honest, and vulnerable — everything shifted. People could feel the difference. I always start my talks or workshops by sharing a personal story about my past that is vulnerable and relatable. My mentor, Jack Canfield, says, “The participants will go as deep as you’re willing to go. If you want to inspire real transformation, you must be ready to dive in first.” One moment that stands out was during a workshop I was facilitating when, after hearing my story, a participant started crying. She later told me, “That moment gave me permission to stop pretending, too.” Authenticity doesn’t weaken your leadership — it strengthens it.
2. Wholeheartedness — I’ve always had this instinct to give my full energy to whatever I do — whether I chose it or not. Even in situations I didn’t necessarily want to be in, I showed up with intention, with care, with everything I had. At school, I was the the favorite student. Not because I was trying to be — but because I couldn’t help but dive all in. The same happened in jobs I took just to get by, or roles I never imagined for myself. I gave them my best. That’s just how I’m wired. Looking back, I realize this trait has been both a strength and a guiding force in my life. Wholeheartedness has nothing to do with how exciting or glamorous something is — it’s about how present and devoted you are in the doing of it. That energy has a ripple effect. People feel it. And most importantly, you feel it. When you pour your heart into the moment, even ordinary things become meaningful — and joy has a way of meeting you there.
3. Deep Listening & Acceptance — One of the greatest gifts I’ve cultivated is the ability to listen — not just with my ears, but with my whole being. In coaching, people often share things they’ve never voiced out loud before. When they do, they’re not looking for advice — they’re looking for someone who can truly hold space without judgment. I once had a client burst into tears after just five minutes of silence together. “You didn’t even say anything,” she said, “but I felt more seen than I ever have.” That’s the power of deep listening. When combined with acceptance, it creates a safe space where transformation can begin.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority about the topic of finding joy?

I speak from lived experience — I know what it’s like to feel stuck in a life that looks fine on the outside but feels empty within. For nearly fifty years, I carried a quiet dissatisfaction. To others, I was the happy-go-lucky optimist — always smiling, always “fine.” But the truth is, I was disconnected. I didn’t even realise I was fooling myself until I turned forty-nine.

Looking back, I see the pattern clearly: I was never truly content in the moment. When I was with family, I longed for friends. With friends, I missed my family. Alone, I felt lonely; with others, I craved solitude. I was everywhere except the present.

When the realisation finally hit, it was a wake-up call. I began applying the tools I now teach — small, consistent shifts that helped me move from quiet misery to genuine joy. It took time, but today, I wake up excited, energised, and creatively fulfilled. What once felt impossible is now my reality. I’ve gone from searching for meaning to living with purpose — and if I can do it, even after decades of disconnection, I know it’s possible for anyone.

I must confess that I am a person of contrast and duality. I can party for five days straight, yet then I can work for a month non-stop. I can eat as if there is no tomorrow, and then I can fast. I can talk for hours or not at all. I enjoy luxury, but walking barefoot on the beach or eating a simple meal with my hands fills my heart. I can follow a routine for many months, like thirty minutes of meditation every morning, and then give it up in a flash. I have learned to listen to and take care of my wants and needs. I love going with the flow, being unapologetically me, and enjoying guilt-free whatever life has to offer me at this moment.

The key is to answer the question: What do I love, and what brings me joy?

Life is simple and mostly fun as long as you choose to view it this way, and according to my experience, it is doable.

Ok, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about finding joy. Even before the pandemic hit, the United States was ranked at #19 in the World Happiness Report. Can you share a few reasons why you think the ranking is so low, despite all of the privileges and opportunities that we have in the US?

At first glance, it might seem surprising that a country as wealthy, innovative, and opportunity-rich as the United States would rank #19 on the World Happiness Report. In fact, I’ve often admired the U.S. for its entrepreneurial spirit and the immense possibilities it offers. However, happiness is not solely tied to material success or technological advancement — it’s deeply rooted in emotional well-being, a sense of purpose, and meaningful human connection.

One key factor is the culture of relentless achievement and comparison. In the U.S. — as in many Western societies — success is often equated with productivity, career status, and financial gain. From an early age, individuals are encouraged to pursue milestones: the top school, the high-powered job, the enviable lifestyle. While ambition can be empowering, it can also create a cycle of constant striving that leaves little room for rest, reflection, or joy. This pursuit of “more” often leads to stress, burnout, and a lingering sense that happiness is always just out of reach.

Social disconnection is another contributor. Despite being more digitally connected than ever, people are reporting higher levels of loneliness. Social media, while designed to connect, often fuels unhealthy comparison and creates unrealistic expectations of what happiness looks like. Genuine connection — face-to-face conversations, deep relationships, shared experiences — is increasingly rare in a fast-paced, individualistic society. And yet, research shows that strong personal bonds are among the most reliable predictors of long-term happiness.

Work culture also plays a role. In the U.S., there is often a cultural emphasis on long hours, high output, and the glorification of being busy. This leaves little space for leisure, rest, or self-care — key components of a balanced and fulfilling life. By contrast, countries that consistently rank higher in happiness — such as Finland, Denmark, and Switzerland — tend to prioritize work-life balance, community wellbeing, and quality of life over constant performance.

There’s also the broader cultural landscape to consider. Polarization, social division, and a pervasive sense of uncertainty can create emotional undercurrents that affect how people feel day-to-day. When public discourse centers around fear or division, it can be hard to feel secure, hopeful, or connected.

Lastly, there’s a fundamental misconception about happiness itself. Many people chase it in external achievements — wealth, appearance, accolades — without realizing that sustainable joy comes from within. It’s found in self-acceptance, gratitude, authentic relationships, and living in alignment with one’s values. When happiness is sought externally, it tends to remain elusive — no matter how much one accomplishes.

The good news is that happiness is not out of reach. It’s a skill we can cultivate through intentional choices: slowing down, connecting deeply, practicing gratitude, and shifting our focus from doing to being. When we redefine success to include joy, presence, and purpose, we open the door to a more meaningful and content life — regardless of where we live.

What are the main myths or misconceptions you’d like to dispel about finding joy and happiness? Can you please share some stories or examples?

This may sound counterintuitive, but it’s important to acknowledge: we’re not here to be happy all the time. We’re here to awaken, to grow, to experience the full spectrum of life. Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin — one cannot exist without the other. So if you’re not constantly in bliss, there’s nothing wrong with you. That’s part of being human.

Western culture often teaches us to avoid discomfort, but pain, loss, and uncertainty are inevitable parts of life. Nature shows us this clearly — through seasons, cycles, death, and renewal. The question isn’t if we’ll face challenges, but how we respond to them. We can resist, feel victimized, or we can accept, adapt, and move forward. Life becomes far less complicated — and more joyful — when we stop trying to control it and simply allow ourselves to be present.

Often, we suffer not from the event itself, but from the story we attach to it. Take a common example: waiting in line at the supermarket. You can choose frustration, or you can use that time to breathe, listen to music, or simply observe. Peace is found not in perfect conditions, but in perspective.

Joy isn’t reserved for life’s grand moments — it’s found in the everyday: sipping your morning coffee, hearing birdsong, feeling the sun on your skin. But to experience it, you must be present.

Another trap is guilt. We deny ourselves joy because we’ve been conditioned to believe rest, indulgence, or even a slice of cake needs to be “earned.” But guilt doesn’t make us better — it just robs us of the ability to enjoy. Me-time, for instance, is often labeled indulgent, when in truth, it’s essential.

Joy, like peace, is an inner state. It’s not about what’s happening around you, but your ability to remain still and centered within. Even in chaos, you can find joy if you choose presence over resistance. It’s not a fleeting emotion — it’s a way of being.

As for common mistakes people make when seeking happiness? I’ve touched on many: chasing external validation, resisting life’s lows, overidentifying with productivity, and denying themselves joy. In the next section, I’ll summarize these patterns — and how we can begin to shift them.

1. Clinging to the Past — One of the biggest blocks to happiness is holding onto the past — whether it’s longing for a golden moment or replaying old wounds. We often romanticise what once was or revisit the pain hoping it will somehow protect us. But the past can’t be relived or rewritten. Joy lives in the present. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting; it means choosing peace over attachment. When we release what was, we create space for what is.

2. Seeking Happiness Through Others — For years, I believed love or validation from others would complete me. I became a people pleaser, outsourcing my worth to others’ approval. But happiness built on external affirmation is fragile. True joy begins when you stop asking, “Am I enough?” and start knowing, “I already am.” Lasting peace comes from within — not from someone else’s presence or praise.

3. Postponing Joy for the “Perfect Moment” — “I’ll be happy when…” is a lie that keeps so many stuck. Life is rarely tidy or fully aligned, yet people delay their joy waiting for ideal circumstances. But happiness doesn’t live in the future — it lives in the now. Stop postponing it. Choose joy in the imperfect present.

4. Chasing Happiness as a Goal — Happiness isn’t a finish line — it’s not something to chase, achieve, or constantly measure. Life includes a full spectrum of emotions, and each one serves a purpose. When you stop chasing happiness and start embracing the full human experience, joy emerges naturally. It’s not about feeling good all the time — it’s about being at peace with what is.

Fantastic. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share with our readers your “5 things you need to live with more Joie De Vivre, more joy and happiness in life, particularly during turbulent times?” (Please share a story or an example for each.)

1. Be Where Your Life Actually Is. Joy doesn’t live in the past or the future; it lives in the now. So many of us are physically present but mentally elsewhere: worrying, remembering, planning. I used to miss life’s beauty because I was constantly in my head. But I discovered peace when I began grounding myself in the present — noticing my breath, tasting my food, feeling the sun. Joy doesn’t require a perfect moment; it simply asks for your attention. When you return to the present, you realize joy was never missing; you just weren’t there to feel it.

2. Let Go of the Perfect Life You Imagined. Perfection is not the path to joy; it’s the block.I spent years trying to be flawless — always polished, always pleasing — believing it would finally make me feel worthy. Instead, it left me drained and disconnected. Real joy arrived when I gave myself permission to be fully human. You don’t need to be perfect to be loved; you just need to be real.

3. Listen to Your Inner Voice. Joy begins when you stop living by others’ expectations and start honoring your truth. Many of us follow a path that looks good on the outside but feels hollow inside; that’s the result of ignoring our inner voice. I found joy through stillness — journaling, walking, asking better questions. Your inner self is always whispering; the more you listen, the more alive you become.

4. Focus on What’s Here, Not What’s Missing. Gratitude doesn’t just feel good; it rewires your entire experience of life. I used to chase happiness in the next big thing; the next achievement, the next “fix.” But joy found me when I began noticing what was already good. A simple gratitude jar became my daily reminder that life was already full. Gratitude won’t remove pain; it will reveal the beauty that’s been there all along.

5. Accept What Is; Then Choose How You Show Up. Acceptance isn’t giving in; it’s choosing peace first. When I made acceptance a daily practice, my entire experience shifted. I stopped resisting what I couldn’t control — my imperfections, other people’s behavior, the unpredictability of life — and started responding from a place of calm. Acceptance isn’t passivity; it’s strength. When you stop fighting life, you create space for joy to return with ease.

What can concerned friends, colleagues, and life partners do to effectively help support someone they care about who is feeling down or depressed?

Whether someone is feeling low, overwhelmed, or simply needs support, the way we show up for them matters. These insights come from my Deep Coaching practice, but they apply just as powerfully to everyday life. Here are three common mistakes we make when trying to help someone we care about — and how to shift them:

1. We listen to respond, not to understand. Often, we’re thinking about what to say next rather than truly hearing the other person. The most powerful gift you can offer is your full, silent, nonjudgmental presence. Only offer advice if you’re invited to.

2. We make it about us. Sharing similar experiences may seem helpful, but it often shifts the focus away from the person who needs support. Instead of offering your story, ask thoughtful questions. It shows you care, invites clarity, and keeps the spotlight where it belongs — on them.

3. We rush to fix. Our instinct is to solve the problem, but not everyone is ready to act. Sometimes, what they need most is patience, not solutions. Be there, hold space, and wait until they’re ready.

In essence: be present, stay curious, lead with compassion, and remember — support isn’t about solving; it’s about showing up.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I would love to inspire a movement centered on radical acceptance. If people truly embraced themselves — flaws and all. If they accepted others for who they are — because we are all beautifully unique. If they embraced the present moment as it is first and then made the most of it, the world would be a much more joyful, peaceful and compassionate place.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them.

Without a doubt, my spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle. I have attended numerous retreats, both in person and online, and I listen to his podcasts and audiobooks for inspiration and inner peace. I am smiling as I answer this question, as there is a possibility he might simply sit in silence during our meal. I would be perfectly content with that, as merely being in his presence is a profound experience: feeling the energy of being present in the moment, the spaciousness, and the peace is incredibly calming and expansive. However, I also love his sense of humor when he chooses to speak. A private lunch with him would be something special! I cannot describe it in words.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

You can find me at myrtomangrioti.com and connect with me on:

• Instagram: @myrtomangriot
• Facebook: @myrtomag
• LinkedIn: Myrto Mangrioti
• YouTube: Myrto Mangrioti Channel

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: After becoming her father’s sole caregiver at a young age, Lucinda Koza founded I-Ally, a community-based app that provides access to services and support for millennial family caregivers. Mrs. Koza has had essays published in Thought Catalog, Medium Women, Caregiving.com and Hackernoon.com. She was featured in ‘Founded by Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Female Founders’ by Sydney Horton. A filmmaker, Mrs. Koza premiered short film ‘Laura Point’ at the 2015 Cannes Film Festival and recently co-directed ‘Caregivers: A Story About Them’ with Egyptian filmmaker Roshdy Ahmed. Her most notable achievement, however, has been becoming a mother to fraternal twins in 2023. Reach out to Lucinda via social media or directly by email: lucinda@i-ally.com.