Heather Hansen of Advocate to Win On The 5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve a Healthy Body Weight, And Keep It Permanently

Meditate. In my work I talk a lot about the moment between reacting and responding as an opportunity. That’s especially true if you’re an emotional eater and, when something bad happens, you react by eating. If you can take the time for that moment and respond instead you often won’t resort to the food. Meditation can help you to find and capture that moment.

So many of us have tried dieting. All too often though, many of us lose 10–20 pounds, but we end up gaining it back. Not only is yo-yo dieting unhealthy, it is also demoralizing and makes us feel like giving up. What exactly do we have to do to achieve a healthy body weight and to stick with it forever?

In this interview series called “5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve A Healthy Body Weight And Keep It Permanently” we are interviewing health and wellness professionals who can share lessons from their research and experience about how to do this.

As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Heather Hansen.

Heather Hansen is a self-advocacy expert, coach, author, and sought-after international speaker. She’s also the founder and CEO of Advocate to Win, a consulting business where she’s given thousands of clients the knowledge and tools they need to become better advocates and win support, attention, loyalty, and engagement for their big ideas. Her upcoming book, Advocate to Win: 10 Tools to Ask for What You Want and Get It, launched on May 25, 2021 with Post Hill Press.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I grew up the oldest of 3 in Massachusetts. My dad was in sales, my mom was a teacher. I had a pretty typical childhood though I was always a little heavier than my friends. I played some sports and was active in theater. My family was, and is, very close.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

My uncle (John O’Brien) was my initial inspiration. I’d planned to become a psychologist, and got my degree in psychology. However, I spent part of the summer before my senior year of college interning at my uncle’s law firm. That was the first time I considered become a lawyer. It looked exciting and different every day, which is something that was important to me.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

My parents consistently reminded me that I could do and be anything I decided to be. I remember as a child I’d tell my dad I was going to buy him a Porsche when I got older, and he always seemed to completely believe me (I still owe him that Porsche….) And my mother is and was my greatest supporter. In her eyes my potential was limitless, and as a result I saw it that way as well.

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?

I’ve made so many mistakes over the course of my (many) careers. When it comes to my legal career, there’s one mistake I often share in my keynote speeches. I represent doctors when their patients sue them. And when doctors are preparing to get up into the witness stand and testify, they’re often nervous and anxious. I try to distract them with talk of TV shows, books or movies. In this instance I’d just read a book on body language. One of the studies said that the difference between the most watched and the least watched TED talks was that the speakers in the most watched TED talks used hand motions far more often. In retrospect, this wasn’t the best thing to tell the doctor right before he testified. He got up on the stand…and conducted an orchestra. He knocked the microphone off the witness stand twice. But we won. There’s something about hand motions…

Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?

I’m a quote collector so it’s hard to pick just one. However, one I remind myself of daily is “You can’t prove it until you believe it.” It’s my quote and also my mantra. In the courtroom I can’t persuade the jury to believe anything I don’t believe. And the same is true in life. I have to believe I will succeed, I will win, I do deserve that raise/client/opportunity first. It reminds me of the power of belief.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

I want my legacy to be helping people become their own best advocates. If you’re selling, marketing, or leading, you are advocating. Right now I’m working on a curriculum for medical residents to give them the tools to advocate for their patients, their treatment plans, their teams and themselves. This will improve the patient experience, reduce burnout and improve healthcare costs.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority in the fitness and wellness field?

I lost 100 pounds and kept it off. That makes me more of an authority than almost anyone. We know losing that kind of weight is unusual, but keeping it off for over 25 years is even more so. In the process I’ve tried almost every fitness/wellness fad and intervention. I was certified to teach Pilates, paddle boarded with Laird Hamilton and Gabby Reece, done a marathon and a triathlon, have been on multiple yoga retreats and I’ve been vegan, paleo, low-fat and everything else you could imagine. I’m an authority because of my experience.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about achieving a healthy body weight. Let’s begin with a basic definition of terms so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define a “Healthy Body Weight”?

For me, a “healthy body weight” is the weight at which I feel most healthy. And this actually isn’t just one weight. There was a period in my life when I was training for a triathlon and paddle boarding for hours a day. I weighed more than I do now, but I was healthy. Other times I was very thin but unhealthy. So that number isn’t just an individual thing, but it’s also a matter of time and circumstance.

How can an individual learn what is a healthy body weight for them? How can we discern what is “too overweight” or what is “too underweight”?

You need to be tuned into your body. Meditation helps, being present in the moment helps. You have to be willing to let go of what others think/say/do and really trust yourself to know what a healthy weight is for you. Some people judge that by the scale, others by how they feel in their clothes. But when you’re taking care of yourself by eating healthy foods, avoiding things that make you feel sick, moving your body and managing stress — you are likely at a healthy body weight for you.

This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to expressly articulate this. Can you please share a few reasons why being over your healthy body weight, or under your healthy body weight, can be harmful to your health?

The first reason actually isn’t intuitive. When I’m not at a healthy body weight, I trust myself less. And that’s very harmful. I think the greatest gift of my weight journey is that I have built up so much credibility with myself. I believe myself (when I make myself a promise, I keep it). I believe IN myself (I can do hard things). And that feeling is so beneficial to me and my health.

Also, when I feel heavy/over my healthy weight, I’m not as comfortable in my skin. I’m less likely to move my body, to do fun activities that involve body conscious endeavors. That’s harmful to my health as well.

In contrast, can you help articulate a few examples of how a person who achieves and maintains a healthy body weight will feel better and perform better in many areas of life?

I go back to the credibility thing. I always say that I’m SO grateful I had 100 pounds to lose. It’s given me the belief in myself that has allowed me to start my business, write two books, keynote all over the world, appear on television, etc. When you’ve done one of the hardest things there is to do, the rest is within your grasp.

Also, when I’m at a healthy body weight I have more energy, more enthusiasm and more charisma. My light shines brighter.

Ok, fantastic. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve a Healthy Body Weight And Keep It Permanently?”. If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1-Find something you can believe. When I had 100 pounds to lose, I wanted to lose it. And I tried a bunch of diets. But I never truly believed that I could — so I didn’t. Then my mom sent me money to join the gym (I’d asked for it). And in the card she told me to use it to gain energy, be more comfortable in my skin, etc. I believed I could do that — so I did. Every time I worked out I felt more energy and more self assured. Then, over time, I began to believe I could lose 100 pounds. So find something you can believe. Start there. Let your belief grow. You’ll prove it once you believe it.

2-Move your body. When push comes to shove, losing weight is about food. Exercise doesn’t ever burn off enough to counter a bad diet. BUT moving your body puts you in tune with your body. You build a relationship with it. You come to love it for what it can do for you. And you want to return the favor.

3-Don’t be afraid to change the program. For a long time I did go up and down in weight. And each time I went up, it seemed that something different helped to bring my weight back down. When I first lost the 100 pounds it was on a low fat high carb diet. Then I started gaining weight back, and I became a vegan. That lasted for 7 years and I became too thin. I gave up veganism, and gained weight. Over the years I’ve tried almost every diet. And each one worked at a different time in my life. But for the past 5 years I’ve believed that I can maintain this weight without all of the drama. So I do. Currently, I count points on the Weight Watcher app every day And that’s it. Easy does it.

4-Meditate. In my work I talk a lot about the moment between reacting and responding as an opportunity. That’s especially true if you’re an emotional eater and, when something bad happens, you react by eating. If you can take the time for that moment and respond instead you often won’t resort to the food. Meditation can help you to find and capture that moment.

5-Love yourself. Taking care of your body is the result of loving yourself. You can’t lose weight from a place of self hatred or disdain. If you do, you won’t maintain the loss. There’s not a single weight loss strategy that will work without self love as the foundation.

6-Try out some non-negotiables. When I was losing weight, I gave up chocolate, potato chips, and cheese. These were non-negotiables for me. If pizza was on the table, it wasn’t an option. Chocolate cake — no need to even think about it. I didn’t negotiate with myself over these foods and it simplified everything for me. I remember reading a quote back then that said something like “For those for whom moderation is difficult, abstinence is often the answer.” That was true for me, until it wasn’t. Now I eat all of those foods-in moderation. I’ve changed (see #3).

The emphasis of this series is how to maintain an ideal weight for the long term, and how to avoid yo-yo dieting. Specifically, how does a person who loses weight maintain that permanently and sustainably?

I don’t have much to add to the above. Believe that it’s possible. Love yourself through the process. And be willing to change your approach. Realize that every body is different. Moreover, YOUR body is different at different stages of life. Be flexible with your approach.

What are a few of the most common mistakes you have seen people make when they try to lose weight? What errors cause people to just snap back to their old unhealthy selves? What can they do to avoid those mistakes?

I think the most common mistake is unrealistic expectations. That leads to a lack of belief and (at the risk of repeating myself), you can’t prove it if you don’t believe it. That means you have to be willing to start small with your expectations and often focus less on the scale and more on feelings. Weight loss is never about the particular diet you follow. It’s always about your beliefs about yourself and what you’re capable of. So work on your belief and the weight will follow.

As a more practical matter, I also made the mistake of combining diets at various points in my journey. I’d try paleo but also weight watchers, south beach but with a little bit of Atkins. If you’re going to try something, go all in. Give it time. And then adjust.

How do we take all this information and integrate it into our actual lives? The truth is that we all know that it’s important to eat more vegetables, eat less sugar, etc. But while we know it intellectually, it’s difficult to put it into practice and make it a part of our daily habits. In your opinion what are the main blockages that prevent us from taking the information that we all know, and integrating it into our lives?

The main blockage is that change is hard. Period. But we make it harder by setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves and then hating ourselves when we don’t meet those expectations.

On the flip side, how can we prevent these ideas from just being trapped in a rarified, theoretical ideal that never gets put into practice? What specific habits can we develop to take these intellectual ideas and integrate them into our normal routine?

The best advice I have to integrate these habits is to create some non-negotiables, especially if you’re just starting your weight loss journey. It could be “I don’t drink on weeknights”. Then there’s a party on a Wednesday? You don’t negotiate with yourself, you just don’t drink. It could be I work out every morning at 6. When the alarm goes off, no negotiating. You just do it.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I’d teach people the tools to advocate for ourselves and each other. The underserved in our communities need advocates, and when we know how to advocate well we can help. And we often need advocates to help us get our big ideas into the world. No one can do it better than you can. So knowing how to ask for what you want and get it is an important life tool.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying this name, but hands down it would be Oprah. It would have been Maya Angelou before she passed, and Oprah is a close second. Oprah has had a huge influence on my psychological and spiritual health. Her weight loss journey definitely informed mine. I’d love to thank her for all she taught me and learn from her one-on-one for just a moment.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

My books, podcast and videos are all at my website https://advocatetowin.com/

You can also follow me on Instagram @imheatherhansen

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.