I Can’t Get No Satisfaction: Dr. Puja Aggarwal of Zenful Brain Coaching On Why So Many Of Us Are Feeling Unsatisfied & What We Can Do About It

An Interview With Drew Gerber

Know Where You Come From: Take time to find out more about your family history. Speak to your grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, parents and other family to gain more knowledge of where you come from to build your own sense of self. You are able to identify who you are when you have a sense of where you come from.

From an objective standpoint, we are living in an unprecedented era of abundance. Yet so many of us are feeling unsatisfied. Why are we seemingly so insatiable? What is going on inside of us that is making us feel unsatisfied? What is the brain chemistry that makes us feel this way? Is our brain wired for endless insatiable consumption? What can we do about it? In this interview series, we are talking to credentialed experts such as psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, brain science experts, as well as spiritual and religious leaders, and mind-body-spirit coaches, to address why so many of us are feeling unsatisfied & what we can do about it.

As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Puja Aggarwal MD.

Dr. Puja Aggarwal MD MBA is a Board-Certified Neurologist/Epileptologist, Neuroscientist and leading Authority in Engagement with 14 years of experience as a Neurologist in addition to leading cutting edge clinical research about the brain. Dr. Aggarwal helps to educate others on how we can use neuroscience to our advantage to boost productivity and engagement in our lives. She herself has utilized these tools to help change her life. Puja has been featured in Authority magazine, Medium magazine, iHeart Radio and Radio America, ABC 15, WebMD and several other media outlets. She has spoken at several local, state, national and international events about mental and brain health.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to know how you got from “there to here.” Inspire us with your backstory!

Let me take you back to a day 6 years ago when I was scrolling my social media feed in boredom. One friend had posted she had received a promotion to a vice president in a major company and how excited she was. Another friend had several pictures of her smiling family while on a vacation abroad in Europe. I read post after post of how other people had something that I wanted. I felt that I wanted what they had whether it be that vacation, that car or that house. When I was thinking “I wanted that item,” I only felt more guilt and shame that I didn’t have that material item in my life. I had attached my self-worth to not having those items. My brain was focusing on what I didn’t have and wanted more! Such negativity and insatiable consumption is never ending. Through coaching, I changed my mindset to be grateful for what I had. Over time, I was able to rewire my brain to build that self-love and self-worth and decrease the need for materialistic items.

What lessons would you share with yourself if you had the opportunity to meet your younger self?

I would share 3 lessons with my younger self.

1. You are worthy: I used to have a lot of anxiety as a child and teenager. I used to think that I was not worthy of success in life. When you believe you are worthy, you invest more in yourself financially, emotionally and physically. You also show up more for others people. Everyone is worthy of self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence to show up as yourself in life.
2. Build Your Relationships: Your network is your net worth. You need to nurture your relationships with family, friends, colleagues and others. When you lead with love and empathy in those relationships, those people will be there to help build you up and lead to more success in life. You never know how one person can help you to achieve a goal in life or connect you with someone else who can help you.
3. Failure is Guaranteed: I used to fear taking on new challenges due to the fear of failure and embarrassment. I remember wanting to take Ballroom dancing classes with my friends in college but did not start due to fear of judgment from others and myself. Who knows what could have come of that, but fear of failure hindered my personal development. Know that you will fail in life you can pick yourself up and try again until you succeed. By developing a “growth mindset” or seeing challenges as opportunities for growth, I stopped worrying about failure.

None of us are able to experience success without support along the way. Is there a particular person for whom you are grateful because of the support they gave you to grow you from “there to here?” Can you share that story and why you are grateful for them?

I am grateful for the support from my husband, a fellow physician. He has always encouraged me to try new things and become an entrepreneur. As a physician, I had a set path to follow to become a full-fledged physician. Through his ventures, he opened my eyes to being an entrepreneur and living a more fulfilled life.

Ok, thank you for sharing your inspired life. Let’s now talk about feeling “unsatisfied”. In the Western world, humans typically have their shelter, food, and survival needs met. What has led to us feeling we aren’t enough and don’t have enough? What is the wiring? Or in other words, how has nature and nurture played into how humans (in an otherwise “safe and secure” environment) experience feeling less than, or a need to have more than what is needed for basic survival?

From the beginning of humankind, we needed to have a certain level of consumption for basic survival — food, shelter, water. In the Western world, we overconsume and overproduce goods and services even though we have all of our basic needs met. We have more food and household items than we ever did. We have bigger houses and more expensive cars. People believe that their happiness is linked to how many products we consume or services that we use. To increase happiness, we consume and continue to consume. Yet, research from the General Social Survey has shown that we more unhappy today than we were 50 years ago when we had much less. Dissatisfaction with life is at an all-time high. With all these changes, our brains have also changed through neuroplasticity. Our brains and minds want more and more to fulfill our void or to attain a certain feeling in life. Nurture or our environment has played a significant role in how our brains have changed. Nature does not affect us as much anymore as we strive for more than what we need for our basic survival.

How are societies different? For example, capitalistic societies trade differently than communists. Developed nations trade differently than developing nations. In your opinion, how does society shape a human’s experience and feelings of satisfaction?

Epicurus, a Greek philospher, felt that happiness and satisfaction was obtained in the simple pleasures in life. Rather than obtaining satisfaction from the simple pleasures, a capitalistic society stresses the importance of individual satisfaction through consumerism, materialistic things and our external appearance. In a capitalistic society, we need to be the best at everything and have the most to be satisfied. Yet, there is no end to this need of wanting more or being the best leading to more self-doubt and self-hatred. Communistic societies stress the importance of community over self with more equal distribution of goods and income. Communistic societies may not market as much to the individual. However, in communistic communities’ life satisfaction is not necessarily higher than those in a capitalistic society.

With a specific focus on brain function, how has the brain and its dominion over the body and beliefs been impacted by the societal construct?

Our brains have neural pathways that we are born with. Through nature and nurture, those neural pathways change over from the time we are young to being an adult. Our brains exhibit neuroplasticity — ability of the neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. When our brains are constantly inundated with marketing or advertising our amgydala — feelings center — is triggered with guilt, shame or self-doubt that we don’t have that item. With repeated exposure, those negative brain pathways become more prominent in our subconscious. Then, we believe that we need external things to help build our satisfaction and happiness in life. Human than seek out those items or trade with the intent to increase satisfaction in their lives.

Do you think the way our society markets and advertises goods and services, has affected people’s feelings of satisfaction? Can you explain what you mean?

Society markets goods and services by playing on people’s inadequacies and insecurities. Advertising firms exploit consumers by targeting their emotions. In fact, marketing emphasizes the arrival fallacy — that once you have used this good or service you will feel happy. This leads to increased fear, shame and doubt if one does not have those items. However, these goods and services will do little to improve one’s happiness and satisfaction. Our satisfaction with life comes from within. People now have an urge for insatiable consumption and decreased satisfaction with what they do have.

I work in marketing so I’m very cognizant of this question. In your opinion, how do you think marketing professionals can be more responsible for how their advertising shapes humans’ health and experience of happiness overall?

Marketing professionals can practice responsible marketing — a marketing strategy whereby you ensure that the product or service benefits the customers and their communities. When a brand leads with how their product or service adds value to a consumer and a community instead of focusing on the emotions that may be evoked, they will be less likely to shape humans’ happiness and overall health. In addition, marketing can state how their company or organization is helping the environment or climate which would avoid appealing to a person’s level of satisfaction.

For you personally, if you have all your basic needs met, do you feel you have enough in life?

Unfortunately, I would not feel that I had enough in life if my basic needs were met. When humans first came to life, basic needs were of utmost importance. As humans changed over time, we have become more complex individuals wanting to have satisfaction, joy and more to life. We have more layers than ever to humans including emotions, desires, needs and much more than our primitive relatives.

Okay, fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview: Can you share with our readers your “5 things we can each do to address the feeling of not having enough.” Please share a story or example for each.

1. Build Self-Love and Self-Compassion: When you think you are enough, you feel you are enough. Self-love and self-compassion are important to knowing you are enough. Start your day by saying three positive affirmations about yourself. Then write down those 3 affirmations. Once a month has passed, you will completely believe those affirmations. By developing a new habit, you are rewiring those pathways in your brain to maximize self-love and self-compassion.
2. Know Where You Come From: Take time to find out more about your family history. Speak to your grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, parents and other family to gain more knowledge of where you come from to build your own sense of self. You are able to identify who you are when you have a sense of where you come from.
3. Take On New Challenges: Pick one new thing — a language, a hobby, a new talent — that you have always wanted to learn. Practice that skill or talent daily to master it. By taking on a new challenge, you are using different parts of your brain to build a skill. The knowledge or skill that you would have gained will elevate your fulfillment.
4. Practice Gratitude: Write down and say out loud three things that you are grateful for in life. When you practice gratitude on a daily basis, you are boosting the “happy” neurotransmitters in your brain including dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. You will not feel the need to consume as many products and feel happier in life.
5. Commit To Giving 100%: When you start something, tell yourself that you are going to give 100% of your efforts to that task. Write down that task or goal and how you will give all of your efforts to accomplish it. You will succeed more at that task and maximize a sense of accomplishment in your life. This will spill over into your other endeavors.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have inspired you to live with more joy in life?

My favorite book is “The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence and Success” by Dan Sullivan. We naturally focus on “The Gap” or what we don’t have and this book helped me to focus on “The Gain” or how far I have come in life. Research has shown that being grateful for where you are and what you have can increase joy, fulfillment and happiness in your life. In addition, those who focus on “The Gain” are more likely to succeed as those people who focus on “The Gap.”

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would love to inspire of personal development in our society were we focus on learning more, growing more as people and focus on building connections with our community and family. Our society does emphasize the importance of the individual, but more focus on the community would build a greater sense of self and society. Connection is very important to our brain health and fosters better emotional, mental and physical health.

What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?

Readers can find me on my website at www.zenfulbrain.com or email me at questions@zenfulbrain.com. I can also be found on social media on Instagram at @zenfulbrainofficial. Our readers can also work with me through coaching one on one. Readers can also listen to my podcast Zenful Brain available on Apple and other major podcast apps.

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: For 30 years, Drew Gerber has been inspiring those who want to change the world. Drew is the CEO of Wasabi Publicity, Inc., a full-service PR agency lauded by PR Week and Good Morning America. Wasabi Publicity, Inc. is a global marketing company that supports industry leaders, change agents, unconventional thinkers, companies and organizations that strive to make a difference. Whether it’s branding, traditional PR or social media marketing, every campaign is instilled with passion, creativity and brilliance to powerfully tell their clients’ story and amplify their intentions in the world. Schedule a free consultation at WasabiPublicity.com/Choosing-Publicity.