Ian Stone: Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Became A Professional Comedian

If you’re daunted by the prospect of failure, do not under any circumstances try stand up comedy.

As a part of our series called “Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Became A Professional Comedian”, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Ian Stone.

Ian Stone is “A masterful exponent of self-mocking Jewish humour” according to The Times. He has been ranked as “one of the top ten comedians in the UK” by The Independent and The Guardian has described him as “Seriously funny”. His show at the 2023 Edinburgh Fringe, ‘Ian Stone will Make it Better’, played to packed houses and won a Spirit of The Fringe award.

Ian is also a prolific broadcaster and author, known for his appearances on satirical, political, and sports TV and radio shows. Currently, he presents “The Football’s On” on TNT Sports and also hosts the “Handbrake Off”, the Athletic’s Arsenal podcast, where he talks about his favourite team, Arsenal FC. Their first live show recording in November was a sold-out success at the Leicester Square Theatre in London.

As an author he wrote the book, “To Be Someone”, part auto-biography, part social history and part love letter to Paul Weller and The Jam. Ian has written for various publications, his op-ed for Chortle entitled “Why is there so little political comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe?”, published last year — was cited by The Observer and The Guardian in an article about how “standup has taken a sharp turn towards inner trauma in recent years”. Ian also had guest columns published in Men’s Fitness, and a monthly column in The Arsenal Magazine.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

I grew up in extreme poverty. The house had no Sky TV. It was awful having no access to the new mini-series dramas, the latest movie releases and Premier League football, and despite years of therapy, I don’t think I’ve ever truly recovered.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path as a comedian?

My parents never really showed me the love I needed. I now need the adulation of strangers on a nightly basis. I don’t think it was ever their intention that I monetised trauma, but if it weren’t for terrible parenting, I wouldn’t be talking to you now

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

One time, on the way home from a gig, I got stuck at Nuneaton station for four hours with nothing to eat. At the time, I failed to appreciate the irony.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I was so shit when I started. I did not have a clue. I once got introduced at a gig, and as the MC was saying my name, I realised there was no way to get to the stage from where I was standing. I ended up climbing over tables. The lesson I learned that night was that I wasn’t quite as limber as I’d imagined

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

A boy at school who made me eat sand from the long jump pit when I was eleven. It was character forming. I met him at a gig once. He came up to me and said ‘hey Ian, do you remember me?’ And at that precise moment, I was introduced on stage. I never got to “thank him”

You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?

If you’re daunted by the prospect of failure, do not under any circumstances try stand up comedy.

You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?

Once I leave Edinburgh, I shall lie in a darkened room for three or four days. And then I’m going on tour in the autumn.

What do you do to get material to write your jokes? What is that creative process like?

I watch the news and listen to politicians say stupid shit. Or I listen to members of my family say stupid shit. I then get irritated, and the comedy seems to appear shortly afterwards

What are your “Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Became A Professional Comedian” and why?

People told me all sorts of things but I’m not sure I was a great listener back then. The main things I remember are

1. If you’re on stage and you’re going badly, get off. And if you’re going well, get off
2. Never ask someone in the audience a question unless you have some answer
3. Don’t wear a grey suit with brown shoes
4. Check your flies before you go on
5. Never dwell on a bad gig past breakfast the next morning

Can you please give us your favourite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Do not try to be too “edgy”. My 1995 show ‘Fuck off Reviewers’ may have pushed it a bit too far.

You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Everyone should support Arsenal.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Declan Rice. Although I’d settle for anyone in the Arsenal squad.

Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?

@Ianstonecomedy on Instagram and Tik Tok

@iandstone on Twitter/X/Whatever it’s called nowadays

This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!

Thank you!